Transform Your Relationship in One Hour a Week with State of the Union Meetings

This Complex Life

n today's solo episode, I'm excited to share a powerful tool that can help transform your relationship in just one hour a week—the State of the Union meeting. Created by the renowned John and Julie Gottman, this technique is all about building stronger, more empathetic relationships.

In this episode, I discuss how dedicating just one hour a week to a structured conversation with your partner can make a huge difference. I'll guide you through the steps of these meetings, from starting with appreciation to tackling issues constructively. This is one of my favourite techniques to teach couples, and I'm thrilled to share it with you.

Key Takeaways:

• The importance of setting aside one hour a week for your relationship.
• How to start your State of the Union meeting with appreciation.
• Tips for discussing issues with a focus on personal feelings, not blame.
• Understanding and validating your partner's perspective.
• The ATTUNE acronym: Awareness, Tolerance, Turning Towards, Understanding, Non-defensive listening, Empathy.
• Making repair attempts and discussing missed or overlooked issues.
• How to end the meeting by asking what you can do to make your partner feel more loved next week.