Hosts Rich and DeAnna Millentree help Christian couples remove obstacles keeping them stuck in their marriage. You deserve to be married to your best friend! Using their marriage as examples of what to do and what not to do, they help couples create new intimacy and build an exciting friendship with their spouse. You and your spouse are sure to grow in your relationship and connect at a much deeper level.
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So you want to outgrow porn. But how? How do you change your brain, heal your heart, and save your relationship? Welcome to Husband Material with Drew Boa, where we answer all these questions and more! Each episode makes it easier for you to achieve lasting freedom from porn—without fighting an exhausting battle. Porn is a pacifier. This podcast will help you outgrow it and become a sexually mature man of God.
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Outgrowing Porn in Marriage (with Rich and Deanna Millentree)
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How can a couple devastated by porn heal, grow, and become even stronger? In this episode, Rich and Deanna Millentree tell their incredible story. "We're Rich and DeAnna Millentree and we love growing in marriage! We've ridden the rollercoaster of marriage for over 28 years. The ups are exhilarating, but the downs are daunting. As Christian Marriag…
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Did you know that you have more than one inner child? In this episode, you'll get to know three types of unhealed boys within you. Then at the end, I'll share what it looks like to help them heal. You'll meet: The "good boy" who became "the hero." The "bad boy" who became "the villain." The "hurt boy" who became "the victim." Related episodes: Porn…
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A New Approach To Internet Filtering (with Plucky)
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Have you ever tried to remove access to porn on your digital devices? What if you could create a filter with no loopholes? In this episode, you'll learn a new and innovative approach to internet filtering with Jon and Kristin Wilkes, founders of pluckyfilter.com. You'll also hear from Scott Wurtz, a passionate Plucky user. If you're interested in p…
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238. Ask the Expert: Important Marriage Questions Answered (with Cindy Renfrow, LCSW)
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This week on the Growing In Marriage podcast, Rich and DeAnna sit down with Cindy Renfrow, LCSW, to tackle some of the most pressing and challenging questions couples face. In this episode, Cindy shares her expert insights on topics like how to get help when your spouse is resistant, rebuilding trust, breaking the cycle of emotional shutdowns, and …
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How To Transform Your Triggers: The F.L.O.S.S. Method (Part 2)
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In this episode, I transform one of my triggers using The F.L.O.S.S. Method with help from three Certified Husband Material Coaches: Andrew Loyd, Juan Mejia, and Rocky Pisor. This episode was recorded live at the recent HMA In A Day workshop as a live demonstration of Trigger Tuesday, one of the weekly coaching calls in Husband Material Academy. Th…
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We did it! We finally have a shorty episode. 👉🏾**REGISTER FOR THE HAPPILY MARRIED WORKSHOP** 👈🏾 Purchase Soulmates Growing In Marriage Growing In Marriage Website Grab our freebie Buy Confident Husband Mastermind Have meaningful conversations with the person you love using our best selling book, Face to Face Study God's Word together in our Couples…
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How To Transform Your Triggers: The F.L.O.S.S. Method (Part 1)
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Triggers don't have to be tyrants. In this episode, you'll learn how to transform your triggers from threats into opportunities for healing using The F.LO.S.S. Method. This episode is an excerpt from the recent HMA In A Day workshop. The F.L.O.S.S. Method: F = Fear L = Lie O = Origin Story S = Sadness S = Surrender Free resource mentioned in this e…
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On this week’s episode of our the Growing In Marriage podcast, DeAnna is flipping the script and interviewing Rich about our brand new product, Soulmates. It’s designed especially for Christian couples, featuring interactive stories and guided conversations to help you grow closer and deepen your spiritual intimacy. DeAnna asks all the juicy questi…
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How I Stopped Getting Into My Husband's Recovery Work Instead Of Doing Mine (with Tera Brown)
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Tera Brown went from trying to fix her husband's sex addiction to finding herself, her emotions, her boundaries, and her sacred ground. In this episode, you'll learn what it looks like to heal from relational trauma and feel alive in your body. Tera Brown is a trauma-informed life coach trained by APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addiction Tr…
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235. Together We Thrive: The Art of Spousal Support
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Welcome to this week's episode of the Growing In Marriage Podcast with Rich and DeAnna! Today, we explore the profound impact of uplifting your spouse. Rich shares his journey from ignoring DeAnna’s pleas for help to taking responsibility for household chores and demonstrating true, lasting change. Discover the difference between temporary modifica…
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Sitting In The Dirt Of Sexual Brokenness (with Jeremy Williamson)
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How do I sit in the dirt with someone who is experiencing sexual brokenness? What if I don't know what to say? What if I find myself dysregulated or sexually aroused by the other person? Jeremy Williamson offers invaluable wisdom and counterintuitive clarity about how "be with" others in such a way that they experience the presence of God. Jeremy W…
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We're jumping into the love language of physical touch. From holding hands and sharing hugs to intimate gestures like kissing and back rubs, we’ll uncover the powerful impact of physical touch in marriage. We’ll discuss the importance of learning how your spouse wants to be touched. Too often, we turn to books, other couples, or general advice, neg…
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Have you ever been disappointed by traditional counseling or talk therapy? In this episode, you'll discover the power of a whole-brain approach to outgrowing porn. You'll learn the why, what, and how of experiential healing work. This episode is required viewing for my clients. Related episodes: How To Heal Your Inner Child Experience Healing Throu…
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Today, we’re diving into the importance of creating a healthier version of yourself. A happy marriage thrives when both individuals are committed to their personal growth and well-being. DeAnna shares how one of her own growth journeys has brought us closer together and positively impacted our marriage. **REGISTER FOR THE HAPPILY MARRIED WORKSHOP**…
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Restoration After Porn Relapse (with Rocky Pisor)
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How do you pursue restoration after a relapse, especially in marriage or ministry leadership? Rocky Pisor tells his own story of processing a porn relapse after 17 years of sobriety. You'll learn how to notice the warning signs of impending relapse, and how to respond to relapse with curiosity and compassion rather than punishing yourself or preten…
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Join as we tackle the inevitable misunderstandings that arise in marriage. Discover how these moments can affect your feelings and learn strategies to navigate them without trying to convince your spouse that your perspective is the only perspective. We’ll share the importance of acknowledging and reflecting on each other’s viewpoints, even when yo…
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It's Good To Be Aroused (with Sam Jolman)
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"There is nothing inherently wrong with an aroused man." What is arousal? Why is it good? Sam Jolman helps us reclaim the heart of masculine sexuality for the purpose of awe, play, and worshipping God. You'll learn how arousal always has a script, why evil hates arousal, and the difference between sexuality and sensuality. At the end, you'll receiv…
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Dive into the heart of what makes each of us unique and how to truly love and appreciate those differences in your spouse! Today, Rich and DeAnna are sharing insights on loving your spouse in a way that makes them feel cherished, quick and fun ways to connect and build intimacy through new experiences, travel, and even a bit of friendly competition…
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Why do I struggle with gay porn? What does freedom look like? How can I stop using gay porn? In this episode, I answer these questions based on years of research and helping hundreds of men achieve lasting freedom from gay porn. Recommended resources (including paid links): Healing And Recovery: Perspective For Young Men With Sexualized Attachments…
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How Childhood Experiences Shape Sexual Development (with Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt)
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What's the point of processing childhood experiences? In this special episode recorded live at the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit, Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt share insights and stories about how processing childhood experiences can help you outgrow porn. Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew i…
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Why We Sexualize Emotions And How To Desexualize Them
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Why do we sexualize emotions, and how can we desexualize them? In this episode, I explain what it looks like to "right-size" sexual energy through processing emotions and releasing trauma. Free tools to process emotions: Feelings And Needs Wheel Feelings And Needs Inventory Ready to release some trauma? Come to the Husband Material Retreat in Color…
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Overcoming Sexual Entitlement (with Noah Filipiak)
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What happens when you feel entitled to sex and treat your wife like a replacement for porn? In this episode, Noah Filipiak tells his story of overcoming sexual entitlement and objectification. Along the way, he unpacks the false promises of purity culture, what love really looks like, how God's grace changes us, and the power of gratitude. Noah Fil…
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Hope And Healing For Sexless Marriage (with Adam and Karissa King)
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What is the definition of sexless marriage? Why do couples experience this? Sexless marriage is often a symptom of deeper psychosomatic issues. Adam and Karissa teach practical tools to build a sexful marriage through vulnerability, intimacy, and safe touch. This episode can also help couples for whom intercourse is painful or not possible. Adam an…
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Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: How To Respond To A Story (Part 4)
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How do you respond to someone else's story with curiosity and compassion? In part 4 of this 4 part series, Marcus Spaur shares his story: "If I Only Could Have Been..." If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Reco…
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Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: How To Write A Story (Part 3)
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How do you write a story about your trauma and sexual experiences? In part 3 of this 4-part series, Wendell Moss shares his story: "Sex & Sexuality" If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Dre…
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Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: Why We Do Story Work (Part 2)
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Why is story work absolutely essential for men outgrowing porn? In part 2 of this 4 part series, Chris Inman shares his story: "The Lonely Walk." If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew i…
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Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: What Is Story Work? (Part 1)
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What is story work? Where did it come from? What does it look like? In part 1 of this 4-part series, Drew shares his story: "The Day I Got Braces." If you love this series, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Dre…
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What is inner healing prayer, and how can it help men outgrow porn? This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.com Resources for Inner Healing Prayer: Streams of Healing: Finding Your Way to Wholeness with Key Leaders in the Inne…
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Porn and Polyvagal Theory (with John Kilmer)
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What is Polyvagal Theory? How can it help men outgrow porn? John Kilmer skillfully describes the autonomic nervous system and how to (re)shape it in order to experience regulation without unwanted sexual behavior. John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. John has completed the Foundati…
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What Is God Doing In My Trauma? (with Matt Wenger)
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We need a theology of trauma. In this episode, Matt Wenger powerfully invites us to view our trauma through the lens of Jesus's life, death, and resurrection. This episode is a preview of our new online course at healyourtrauma.com Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for Christian men struggling with sex, po…
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Today, Rich and DeAnna are having fun and answering questions a marriage counselor would ask to determine if their marriage is savable. The reality is we believe all marriages are savable if you do them God's way. As Jimmy Evans would say, you have a 100% chance of success if you do it God's way. And to that, we say, "Amen!" Growing In Marriage Gro…
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How To Create Connection In Any Conversation (LIVE)
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37:19
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Do you long for connection, but it feels impossible? In this episode, you'll learn extremely simple tools and techniques to create connection in any conversation—using your eyes, face, voice, and words. Helpful phrases: Tell me more… What’s it like for you... How does that affect you? That makes sense (because)... It sounds like / I hear you saying…
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Ever wonder what it truly means to have your spouse's back, in the good times and especially the bad? In this heartwarming episode, Rich and DeAnna dive into the art of being there for your spouse. We'll explore how these actions not only deepen your bond but also honor God's design for marriage. Tune in as we unpack practical tips, share inspiring…
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Why Men Don't Talk About Their Sexual Abuse (with Mike Chapman and Dr. Doug Carpenter)
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1:43:23
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There are over 40 reasons why men don't talk about their sexual abuse. Let's break the silence. In this episode hosted by Mike Chapman and Doug Carpenter, survivors of sexual abuse share vulnerable stories of harm and healing. Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of the HM fellowship for survivors of sexual abuse. Conta…
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228. Do You Really Want to Know Your Spouse?
38:35
38:35
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Hello, Jill Zimmerman from Pennsylvania! 👋🏻👋🏾 We've got a cool story to share about you today! We've been diving into a skill that can really change the game in your marriage: empathy. It's not always easy, but mastering it can make a huge difference. Research shows that couples who get good at empathy have over 30% better conflict resolution and r…
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How To Tell Her About The Porn: Full Disclosure (with Dan Drake and Dr. Janice Caudill)
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What is full disclosure? When, why, and how should I reveal sexual secrets to my wife? In this episode, disclosure experts Dan Drake and Janice Caudill walk us through the process of full therapeutic disclosure from beginning to end. You'll learn how to restore truth in your relationship in a way that is healing rather than harmful. Dan Drake and D…
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Your imagination is not bad. Learn the 4 main types of fantasies, how to evaluate the healthiness of a fantasy, and what to do with your healthy/unhealthy fantasies! Related episodes: Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy Introduction To Sexual Symbolism How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over …
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A Grace-Based Approach To Sexual Recovery (with Jonathan Daugherty)
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What is grace, and how does it apply to sexual recovery? Jonathan Daugherty inspiringly explains how grace is not "soft" but the most powerful force for transformation and freedom from porn. Pride, shame, and comparison all melt away under the core truth that you are worth the life of God's son, and that can never change. Jonathan Daugherty is the …
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227. Healing Intimacy (with Drew Boa): Overcoming Unwanted Sexual Behaviors for a Thriving Marriage
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Today's episode is a real eye-opener as we delve into the often-taboo topic of overcoming unwanted sexual behaviors (e.g., porn) and understanding the complexities of sexual fantasies within marriage. We're joined by a remarkable guest, Drew Boa from Husband Material, who brings a fresh perspective to the table. Drew's journey from struggling with …
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Singleness & Same-Sex Attraction (with Dr. Greg Coles)
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If you're single and you experience same-sex attraction, this episode is for you. Dr. Greg Coles offers insight, humor, delight, and hope that defies typical Christian categories of what a "good and beautiful life" can look like. Greg Coles is an author, speaker, and scholar at the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender. Check out Greg's books (th…
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Introducing the Happily Married Workshop. Rich and DeAnna spill the beans on their new in-person event. If you are local to the Central Valley of California: Bay Area, Sacramento, Fresno, Foothills then you don't want to miss this fun one-day workshop that will help you achieve the kind of relationship others will be asking, "How do they do it." Si…
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What is the difference between outgrowing porn and purity culture? In this replay from The Porn Free Man Conference, you'll experience dramatic examples of what these two approaches look like, sound like, and feel like when you are... Reaching out to a friend after watching porn (failure vs. feedback) Sharing vulnerable parts of your story (harsh a…
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225. Transforming Criticism Into Compassion in Marriage
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Today Rich and DeAnna are talking about a topic that affects every marriage, but often lurks in the shadows of the relationship. This darkness leaves a silent but very profound impact on both spouses—it’s criticism! So, grab a cup of coffee, find a comfortable space, and listen to us engage in a conversation that could breathe new life into your re…
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Outgrowing Porn Through Parts Work (with Dr. Gerry Crete)
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How can parts work help us outgrow porn? Dr. Gerry Crete combines Christian faith, internal family systems, attachment theory, and EMDR into a powerful approach to outgrowing porn. Learn why we need to work with parts pre-emptively, how to "break the spell" when you're in a trance state, and practical ways Jesus can meet our attachment needs. Dr. G…
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Rich and DeAnna finally deliver a "short" episode. In this podcast, DeAnna's back and she is sharing how she celebrated her 50th birthday and created a memory we will NEVER forget. 😂 Tune into this fun episode that's sure to make you smile and gasp all within 24 minutes. Don't Miss Anything Sign up to be on our mailing list and be notified first ab…
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What To Do When Your Wife Is Triggered (with Tammy Gustafson)
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How can a husband help his wife during a trigger? Tammy Gustafson reveals what triggers are, how they affect your wife's brain, and what she needs after a trigger tornado has passed. Discover how her triggers can become opportunities for healing! Tammy Gustafson is a trauma-informed Licensed Professional Counselor, coach, EMDR certified clinician, …
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223. Start Caregiving and Step Into Intimacy
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56:05
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Today, Rich is teaming up with Shannon McKiernan as she fills in for DeAnna. DeAnna had an unexpected event take place that sidelined her for this episode. We want you to step into intimacy in your marriage. One of the ways to do that is through caregiving. Listen as Rich and Shannon discuss why careging is necessary in your marriage and what it lo…
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Healing Through Artwork and Storywork (with Philip Leach and John Kilmer)
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What happens when you combine storywork, artwork, and Jesus? Witness powerful healing in this live demonstration of HMA Coaching! As Drew shares a story of difficulty, chalk artisan Philip Leach creates a visual representation while coach John Kilmer offers attunement. Then we invite Jesus into the story and watch the chalk art change. The result i…
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To some degree, we all love being taken care of at times, especially when the care is coming from our spouse. Today, Rich and DeAnna want you to stop taking care of your spouse in exchange for something better. Listen as they discuss why caretaking is detremental to your marriage and what you should do instead. Don't Miss Anything Sign up to be on …
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Learn 12 reasons why shaming yourself doesn't help, what's more powerful than shame, and what you can do instead of shaming yourself. Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-i…
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