For Season 3's first instance of "The Best Movie of ALL-TIME!", Tucker Pannell was the second heart that could beat as one, as we watched the 1988 cult classic "Alien Nation". In the ensuing discussion, we tackle the douchiness (both on and--allegedly--off-screen) of the legendary James Caan, laughable line deliveries and incongruous music choices.…

In our first (and longest) long-distance episode since 2010, Nick Melton returns for some chat about a smorgasbord of topics; from Roseanne to Denis Leary, from "Star Trek" to "Doctor Who", from coast to coast! Plus(!), the rap version of a Dolly Parton classic you never thought you'd hear! IT'S ALL HERE! LISTEN TO IT! NOW!…

In quite possibly the most overwhelmingly heterosexual episode to date, Tucker Pannell returns for a discussion of Beeks, B's, boobs and beverages.By Jeff Heatherly

In the THRILLING CONCLUSION to our two-part third season premiere, we finally bid a fond farewell to Nick with talk of Hollywood swingin', Dark Knights risin', and pop culture philosophizin'. APOSTROPHES!!!By Jeff Heatherly

After almost 18 MONTHS(!), we make our gallant return with rambles about roasts, Rip Torn, and beloved apothecary chains in what basically amounts to the extended intro to the THRILLING CONCLUSION to this, our third season premiere. (PART 2 AVAILABLE TOMORROW!)By Jeff Heatherly

Co-host G. Warlock Vance and I discuss Nobuhiko Obayashi's House, an explosion of trippy weirdness from 1977. I explain our lengthy hiatus before Warlock analyzes the film's themes and how it fits into the J-Horror tradition. We also geek out over the technical accomplishments of the film and gleefully recount its stunningly bizarre death sequences…

While the economy and around 200 miles keep Nick and I apart, special guest Tucker Pannell (co-creator of Dot Swoof's "Fanatic Gumbo") joins me for a nostalgic journey to the day the music (or theoretical music) died, a pork-centric realization about one of today's most overrated fictional creatures, and hey!--Did you hear about the sexy pirate mov…

One week after its remake took the #2 spot at the box office, Nick and I look back at a film that I've loved for many years, the original 1981 Dudley Moore classic "Arthur". Inevitably, a great deal of our chat consists of preemptive comparisons of the original and new casts, some love for the great Mr. Burt Bacharach, and somehow, the roles of Bob…

History is made as Nick joins me in my hometown for the first time EVER! The ensuing conversation includes his gut reaction to "the Antichrist of restaurants", an afternoon with Buddy Ebsen, and a tragic/horrific stroll through a once-great dying mall. Plus, some routine self-doubt is vanquished by the return of the legendary Mr. Rip Torn! Y'all co…

Our month honoring the collaborations of director John Carpenter and actor Kurt Russell draws to a close as co-hosts Jeffery Heatherly and Ryan Houser join me in a discussion of Escape From L.A. (1996). Whereas Escape From New York was slow and serious, this is a fast-paced, campy thrill ride . . . and we love it. Topics of conversation include the…

Our month-long tribute to the collaborations of director John Carpenter and actor Kurt Russell continues as co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss Big Trouble In Little China (1986). While we enjoy it more than Escape From New York, we find this one a bit too convoluted to be a classic. Our typically tangential conversation touches on, among other…

In the inaugural edition of the ALL-NEW O.U.P. sub-series "The Best TV _____ of ALL-TIME!", we fill that blank with "series" in our discussion of the cult hit British horror spoof "Garth Marenghi's Darkplace". Thrill as we look at the history of the series, its place as a veritable nexus of the current British comedy universe, and the utter hilario…

Our month-long tribute to the collaborations of director John Carpenter and actor Kurt Russell continues as co-host G. Warlock Vance and I discuss the sci-fi horror classic The Thing (1982). Topics of conversation include nihilism in the film, the need for communication, Rob Bottin's amazing visual effects and the weather in Antarctica. It's a perf…

This month beloved actor Kurt Russell turns 60. To celebrate, Cinemantics is devoting the month to his collaborations with legendary director John Carpenter. In our first installment, co-hosts Jeffery Heatherly and Ryan Houser join me in a discussion of Escape From New York (1981). Our reception is decidedly lukewarm. We praise Russell and the look…

You know(!)...it's that time again, kids. Join Nick and myself as we assess the damage and relive the insanity that was the 83rd Annual Academy Awards! We've got winners! We've got losers! We've got senile Hollywood legends making us thoroughly uncomfortable!--It was a night we shan't soon forget. Plus, treatises in defense of two of the year's big…

For our first "Best Movie of ALL-TIME!" of 2011, Nick and I discuss my favorite film of 2010: "Easy A". Contrary to what devotees may believe, it's more than just the allure of my beloved Emma Stone that has earned it such a strong place in my heart. There's also the film's dynamite cast, witty screenplay, and abiding love for all things 1980s. Nic…

After a much, MUCH-needed hiatus, Nick and I return with an old-fashioned conversational; strawberry cigars and all. Amidst the puffs of smoke, we briefly discuss the cause of our hiatus, an alcohol-based betrayal from a former "Sopranos" star, the perils of social networking, and the future of our online family. Welcome us back and tell your frien…

Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I bid farewell to the holiday season with a discussion of Nicholas Webster's Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964). Frequently labeled as one of the worst movies ever made, Jeff and I actually found its '60s kitsch to be quite charming. We discuss, among other things, a perpetually drug-addled Santa, the archetypal …

Nick and I wish you the happiest of holidays with this special double-length look at the perennial favorites "Home Alone" and "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York"! Feel the Christmas spirit flow through you as we discuss the implausibility of both films, their wonderful supporting casts, and (once again) the tragic downfall of the films' writer John Hu…

As we draw closer to the end of 2010, recent hard times and a fresh cold leave Nick and I in a funk...but if you, the diligent listener can survive the dark, Russell T Davies-esque flights of unfancy that sprink from said funk, you'll be treated to tales of public school horror, intriguing sci-fi casting news, and a preparatory look at the subject …

The Month of Moore comes to a close as co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss Zack Snyder's Watchmen (2009), an adaptation of the groundbreaking graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Mired in development hell for years, this movie could have been a disaster - but it came out as good an adaptation as anyone could have hoped for. Jeff and I …

After months of invoking its name as an example of pure cinematic ineptitude, Nick and I finally revisit, for your listening pleasure, Chris Columbus' 2009 offering "I Love You, Beth Cooper". In a shocking (including to myself) turn of events, I end up rather fond of the film this go-round, while Nick still errs on the side of its failings. The ens…

Our beloved hold music gets the workout of its life this week as Nick and I duke it out with the forces of technological upfuckery in a bid to bring you a discussion of my new job, the recently released "Green Lantern" trailer, and as seems to be a new tradition, more superhero movie casting news. Plus, Nick issues a challenge to an inanimate objec…

We've thrilled you with "The Best Movie of All-Time!"; made you feel our rage and disappointment with "The WORST Movie of All-Time!"...but sometimes, just one of those monikers isn't enough, leading to our rarest sub-series, "The Best/WORST Movie of All-Time!". Used only once to date (see Episode 19), this descriptor is the only one fit to describe…

Following the rousing story of Nick's recent brush with fame, our latest conversation devolves into a series of pop culture rants by yours truly, with topics including a special screening of the ultimate cult classic film, the unceremonious cancellation of another great TV series, and my rage regarding the recent zombie-themed "Community" Halloween…

Concluding an unintentional zombie-themed month of "The Best Movie(s) of All-Time!", we come to my favorite zombie comedy (of the two; Sorry, "Shaun of the Dead", you know where we stand) 2009's "Zombieland"! Nick joins me for a look at the film's unspeakably amazing cameo, its novel approach to survival, and its standing as the birthplace of my ad…

We can't believe it ourselves, but we've already discovered another instance of "The WORST Movie of All-Time!". You'd think the 2007 zombie western comedy "Undead or Alive" would be made of awesome (or at least campy fun) with that insane menage-a-trois of genres in the till...but sadly, YOU'D BE WRONG. Nick and I try to figure out exactly what wen…

Co-host Greg Green and I discuss Ryuhei Kitamura's Versus (2000). We went into this Japanese action/horror/gangster/zombie movie expecting it to be awesome. Sadly, we came out disappointed. We examine the nonexistent story, poorly developed characters, extreme lack of continuity and a sorely underused villain while also praising some of the cinemat…

Another podcasting dream comes true, as I finally introduce Nick to the fantabuliciousness of the 1993 classic "Surf Ninjas"! In classic O.U.P. fashion however, it quickly becomes a fascinating look at the downfalls of Sega, Rob Schneider, and even THE MIND OF M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN! Plus, varyingly qualitative impressions of "Jurassic Park" cast membe…

The great long-distance experiment continues, as Nick and I see what's in the news. Hear wild tales of copious French paternity, 3D you can feel, frivolous Chinese lawsuits, and everyone's favorite British Labour Party candidate! Plus, I debut a new celebrity impression!By Jeff Heatherly

After over two years of anticipation, Nick and I finally cover what may be the quintessential example of "The Best Movie of All-Time!", 1995's "Tank Girl"! Join us as we show this modern cult classic all kinds of love, discuss the finer points of adaptation and creators' rights, and lay the foundation for a future O.U.P. rhetorical smackdown! Plus,…

In the first episode of Cinemantics to have more than one co-host, I am joined by Jeffery Heatherly, Stephanie C. Kernisan and Greg Green in a discussion of Ron Underwood's Tremors (1990). During our wide-ranging conversation Stephanie gives a spirited plot recap, Greg enlightens us on the definition of dark comedy and Jeff complains about oddly ed…

As I battle the early stages of a cold, Nick and I chat it up freestyle with topics as varied as local amusement parks, overrated TV shows and restaurants, and Ross Perot. Plus, suggestive fruit-shaped water towers!By Jeff Heatherly