Best Drunk Monkeys Podcasts (2024)

1
Olympic Mustaches and “Hillbilly-Walking” 57:40

1h ago57:40

57:40

The guys discuss when infidelity can turn deadly if you refuse to look up, how a slow friend is not to be used as a speed bump when running from a bear, and why an overworked robot who’s never invited to happy hour should be denied access to stairwells.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | 30 Tokens. Hong Kong Hank. Gnomes. Holding Ham. 1:32:16

1h ago1:32:16

1:32:16

There's nothing quite like taking the family out to dinner and the booth next to you is funneling margaritas into their assholes. Let's talk about that, trying to fly a kite at midnight in perfectly calm conditions, what the heck is with Montana and all their casino combo businesses, needing tokens from the government to watch porn, and more on tod…

1
We're back! Pet monkeys! Hot dead people! 1:01:53

6h ago1:01:53

1:01:53

The bros are BACK! Follow us on everything! @LucasCruikshank @jacobcruik lucasjacobpodcast@gmail.comBy Lucas & Jacob Cruikshank

1
Brain Bowels, Kentucky Vows, and Benny Butt Nuggets 55:51

5h ago55:51

55:51

The guys discuss how according to Instagram it’s “nearly” impossible to fit two dozen contact lenses in your eyes, why a 30 minute bathroom break on your first day will result in a coworker kicking the door in, and when 17 cans of stolen Pringles and a getaway bike will get you a six month jail sentence.…

1
Can You Don't? | Angry Gamer. Concussion. Donkey Elk. Prism. 1:18:22

2h ago1:18:22

1:18:22

Bryan wants to give Joe a rimjob. Joe definitely didn't write this episode description. Bryan can't read. Let's talk about that, splashing piss all over your girlfriend, getting so mad during online gaming that you pack a hammer and actually do something about it, Joe completely screwing up a jump off a bridge, and more on today's episode of Can Yo…

1
“The” Hanks, Mental Ted, and A Floppy Upgrade 57:23

1h ago57:23

57:23

The guys discuss why the proper sneaker/ski mask selection is so important while “working” naked, when “taking a bite out of crime” still doesn’t constitute owning a grenade launcher, and how “hump enhancement” all but guarantees your camel will be disqualified from competition.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Flour. Gameboy. Snail. Tickle Bitch. 1:24:12

6d ago1:24:12

1:24:12

Can you imagine running out to warn others of an incoming storm... and then getting struck by lightning?! Let's talk about that, getting way too angry at youth sporting events, your coworker insisting on tickling you everyday, squirting an interesting concoction on women in order to talk to them, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** W…

1
PeeWee Sports and Scorched Ceiling Tiles 56:59

5d ago56:59

56:59

The guys discuss when an expensive car accident necessitates canceling the family barbecue, why holding a horse above your head while looking a mile in both directions makes you irresistible to the ladies, and how mislabeled exercise equipment immediately becomes delicious to a koala bear.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Hand Lick. Sex Worker. Liver. Butter. 1:04:58

10d ago1:04:58

1:04:58

Would you like to round-up to 9 butters today? Don't worry... if that made sense to you before hearing today's episode, that would be extra concerning. Let's talk about that, licking random stranger's hands before every handshake, the ugliest goat you will ever see, dropping your phone while trying to put on a new screen protecter, and more on toda…

1
Ocean's 2, Office Cheerleaders, and Red Onion Cereal 50:29

12d ago50:29

50:29

The guys discuss how if you wear the same underwear from your 16th birthday until the day you die you will be a billionaire, when a bear will travel 125 miles just to destroy your Honda if he hates you enough, and why kindergarten drop off can be the most imperative step to becoming a successful tech magnate.…

1
Can You Don't? | Tax Fraud. Jugs of Fun. Columbia. Lockbox. 1:40:25

17d ago1:40:25

1:40:25

What's the most amount of money you have ever blown on a carnival game? Could you imagine that number being YOUR ENTIRE LIFE SAVINGS?! Let's talk about that, super neat facts about sex, an edible drone blowing your cover during war, having huge eyeballs the older you get, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The G…

1
A Mannequin Graveyard, Heroic Necklaces, and Fossilized Crap 1:07:47

23d ago1:07:47

1:07:47

The guys discuss why Father’s Day shopping is never complete without a trip to an avian establishment, when it’s absolutely imperative to sleep in gloves on a commercial flight, and how terrible aim lead to the creation of an infamous list of records.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Ski Goggles. Colon Cough. Bob Barker. Lockdown. 1:23:40

24d ago1:23:40

1:23:40

Have you ever hired someone to do some work around the house and it appears they cut every corner possible along the way? Let's talk about that, AirBnb renters literally taking your house from you, using lasers to scare off 12,000 geese, your windshield disappearing while you're driving down the freeway, and more on today's episode of Can you Don't…

1
Cold Weather Leather, White Monkeys, and Beets by Ren 1:00:52

26d ago1:00:52

1:00:52

The guys discuss how timing is everything when picking up 80lbs of free frozen soup, why any novel read by a Russian scientist in Antarctica instantly becomes a murder mystery, and when a sketch of a Mets game can automatically exonerate the defendant.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Foam Dinner. Toothbrush. House Fire. Puppeteer. 1:49:45

1M ago1:49:45

1:49:45

Wowowowowowowowow! Come have some fun with us as we celebrate the two year anniversary of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyo…

1
The Muffin Man and Tiny Drunk Pinocchios 1:03:45

1M ago1:03:45

1:03:45

The guys discuss why it’s imperative you never leave your “round disks of concrete” around Swedish chimps, how being bald leads to a much greater chance of reptilian concussions, and when enjoying a premature bear kabob triggers brain worms.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Sticker. Pee Slap. Chinchilla. Boat Fence. 1:26:27

1M ago1:26:27

1:26:27

No matter how old or wise we get, we are never safe from doing some idiotic shit. Let's talk about that, accidentally giving a millionaire a dollar thinking he was homeless, finding a gun while working at PetSmart, pissing off the HOA by painting a picture of your boat on your fence, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become p…

1
Mac & Cheese Ransom and Crime Scene Snacks 56:59

2M ago56:59

56:59

The guys discuss when is the best time to weed whack to prevent losing your tank, how rattlesnakes are completely indifferent when it comes to metal poles and a boot, and why becoming a lumberjack can only help your odds of eventually becoming an obstetrician.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Drunk Monkey. Cartwheel. Pink. Middle Child. 1:46:21

2M ago1:46:21

1:46:21

What would your response be if you caught some random dude fingering your car on your security camera? Let's talk about that, farting your pencil across the room, a wallet that runs away when you are spending too much money, Flavor Flav becoming the spokesperson for women's water polo, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become…

1
BONUS: "Sit Down, O Compatriots" with Tmt and Fakhrriyyah Hashim 8:27

2M ago8:27

8:27

A Bonus - National Anthems the world over- starting with Nigeria we hail Thee v Arise o Compatriots.By twotruthsandadirtylie

1
King Zog: Blood Feuds, Bazookas and The Balkans - Albania's Game of Thrones 1:05:25

2M ago1:05:25

1:05:25

Welcome to the Dirty Lie podcast, where hosts Dez and TMT delve into the fascinating and bizarre history of King Zog of Albania. From his rise to power as the youngest Prime Minister to his declaration as the first and only king of Albania, this episode is a rollercoaster of political intrigue, blood feuds, and assassination attempts. Discover how …

1
The Blood Feud King (trailer) 1:32

2M ago1:32

1:32

Tomorrow - Game of Thrones Albania - King Zog, Prince Leka and over 500 blood feuds !By twotruthsandadirtylie

1
McFlurry Lovin’ Hedgehogs and One Pound of Go Fish 48:59

2M ago48:59

48:59

The guys discuss how $0.15 used to get your baby a ride on the mail truck, what are the absolute two most important things to protect when you’re hired as a hit man by an estranged husband, and why you should always bring a picnic basket to the pound when attempting to adopt a puppy in China.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | I'll. Miss. You. Grace. 1:37:49

2M ago1:37:49

1:37:49

Joe's family was hit with some heartbreaking news this week... *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast *** New Episodes every Wednesd…

1
Zero Entry Drowning, Flying Uteruses, and A “Free Pen” Vote 53:03

2M ago53:03

53:03

The guys discuss why you’d never hug a Siberian bear hunter goodbye when he leaves, how an Asian mouse statue in Russia serves as a reminder of lives lost, and when even a plexiglass fortified meth store can’t bring your stepbrother back.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Case #219: Animal Dicks 55:42

2M ago55:42

55:42

For the first time in the history of the internet, OVPOD covers dicks in the animal kingdom without making a single Knot joke! Bee Boners, Wasp Wieners, Snake Shafts, Barnacle Bits, Duck Dicks, Hyena Hot Dogs, Nautilus Knobs, FlatWorm Phallus and More!By THE OVPOD CREW

1
Can You Don't? | Microphone. Bookmark. Alpaca. Noodling. 2:26:31

2M ago2:26:31

2:26:31

WHAAAAAAAAAT?! 100 Episodes is an amazing milestone and we couldn't have done it without your support! As you would probably expect, this episode gets a little wild and completely off the rails. BUT, we had a blast taking a stroll down memory lane and for almost no reason at all decided to dress up in western wear. It's ok. No one cares. Huge and t…

1
70MPH Poop Wall and The Disappearing Dumbbell 1:02:23

3M ago1:02:23

1:02:23

The guys discuss when a $35 t-shirt and front row seats can’t guarantee a laugh, how buying a gorilla at a Halloween party will get you prison time, and why a hot glue gun and a dream is detrimental to the battery industry.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Birds. Belly Button. Honeycomb. Biscuit Boot. 1:23:08

3M ago1:23:08

1:23:08

Have you ever been proper bird watching? Are you currently a bird watcher? Did you know that it's officially called birding? Did you also know you can piss the entire birding community off by accidentally capturing a rare bird when you were actually just trying to photograph a waterfall in Oregon? Let's talk about that, sexually biting your lip at …

1
Mungo Park Did Not Discover Anything 47:03

2M ago47:03

47:03

On The Dirty Lie Podcast, join hosts Adesuwa and TMT as they delve into the life and voyages of Mungo Park, famed Scottish explorer known for his exploration of the River Niger. They discuss and critique the romanticized connotation of the term 'explorer' and highlight its ties to colonial intrusions. Taking a deep dive into Park's famous account f…

1
Case #218: Jared Leto's Rock Band Cult 1:04:46

2M ago1:04:46

1:04:46

Case #218: Jared Leto's Rock Band Cult Classification: [History] Apparently the worst itteration of the Joker is attempting to start a cult from the fanbase of his Rock Band. Lets look into thatBy THE OVPOD CREW

1
Naked Microbiology and Snorted Danes 52:00

3M ago52:00

52:00

The guys discuss when a pizza place is “kinda closed” right now, how when a wife misses her husband (6 times) it results in a huge headache, and why you should never prematurely terminate a hunt for lost chop sticks.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Earthquake. Flamethrower. Bus. Vegetation. 1:22:37

3M ago1:22:37

1:22:37

There's a lot of situations one wouldn't want to be in when an earthquake randomly hits... but being in the middle of getting a vasectomy seems pretty high up that list. Let's talk about that, listening to people orgasm for science, low qualifications for being put in charge of potentially saving people's lives, lying about being pregnant in order …

1
Norwegian Calming Paws and Self Defense Nose Jobs 55:18

3M ago55:18

55:18

The guys discuss how lack of regular physical exertion can lead to a trifecta of near death experiences, when a trip to Canada can get you in an ambulance and the Guinness World Record Book, and why Coca-Cola and endless hams leads to gator obesity.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Ladder. Toes. Free Chicken. Nips. 1:32:31

3M ago1:32:31

1:32:31

What did the guy who got his dong chopped off by his wife get for his birthday?! He was given an appointment to get all his toes chopped off too! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! Let's talk about that, blowing your load in a birdhouse per your partner's request, passing out while washing your pants in the sink, Joe going on a HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE, and more on …

1
Extreme Ironing, Robot Coyotes, and “STINK OUT” 48:46

3M ago48:46

48:46

The guys discuss exactly what is the most important item to pack when skydiving, why having an opinion while working retail in Scotland requires wearing a helmet, and how if 2 sailors can scrape up a sign no title is necessary to transfer ownership of a WWII submarine.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Loop. Pom Pom. Yes. Wrong Address. 1:30:07

3M ago1:30:07

1:30:07

Bryan pooped in his bed. I know you are all extremely shocked to hear this news. Let's talk about that, almost breaking into the wrong house, grinding up and smoking human bones in order to get high, bringing a hat pom pom to the vet because you thought it was a dying animal, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of T…

1
Chaotic Canadians: The Fruit Machine and Drunk Prime Minister with Kalakuta Koj! 1:02:50

3M ago1:02:50

1:02:50

Welcome to a thrilling episode of the Dirty Lie podcast where we unveil surprising and eyebrow-raising facets of Canadian history. From notorious political figures to strange duel traditions, and shockingly misguided military tactics, join us alongside our zealous Toronto-based Koj as we delve into some tantalizing yet lesser-known episodes of the …

1
Pigeon Hats and Baby Nets 51:53

4M ago51:53

51:53

The guys discuss why all Mountain Dew should be opened by day 29, how owning a boat directly relates to an endless supply of free goats, and when a “First Name” salutation assures an effective recruitment campaign.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Tennis Balls. Cowboy. Childbirth. Garden Hose. 1:32:40

4M ago1:32:40

1:32:40

Imagine two rival gangs facing off in an alley. The hatred they have for each other has been stewing for a little over 35 years and FINALLY... it's time to settle the score. Now, imagine that all the gang members are riding unicycles. Let's talk about that, whether or not flipping a coin is truly 50/50 odds, getting terrorized by random cows for ov…

1
Without further ado, we love us some Teacher Vodka & Getting Clapped 51:40

4M ago51:40

51:40

The guys discuss how to enjoy a meal on an unstable surface, when violating a statue makes you fertile, and why a brown notebook can literally halt the waffle distribution in Tennessee.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Tongue. Cupcake. Four Eyes. Rubik's Cube. 1:36:01

4M ago1:36:01

1:36:01

Imagine bringing a newborn baby to a rave... and then getting upset when everyone else around you wasn't super supportive about you bringing a f*&$ING newborn baby to a rave. Let's talk about that, weird ass things you never knew about the human body, actually owing money after trying to get money for amputating your own legs, getting addicted to s…

1
Bonus Episode* Thermostat Guarding and A New Balance of Power (April Fools) 59:33

4M ago59:33

59:33

The guys discuss how the calendar can dictate entertainment, why it’s important to jump ahead almost an hour today, and when you realize you’ve been had knowing you sometimes just gotta sing along.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Episode 200!!! "Speed Hating ...no vegans..." 1:20:23

4M ago1:20:23

1:20:23

The guys discuss how smoking in birdcages is next to impossible yet eating a sandwich is not, why being a healthy Frolfer makes you way more popular during wedding season, and when removing your wide-brimmed hat assures you a free fifty pound Tarpon.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

1
Can You Don't? | Large Python. Baby Jumping. Bagel. Good Acid. 1:30:07

4M ago1:30:07

1:30:07

Pro Tip: If the success of your murder plot pivots on having a large python eat one of your intended targets, you should probably rethink your entire murder plot. Let's talk about that, decking a mascot while on acid at a basketball game, happily filming content for your mom's OnlyFan's account, ordering a hot air balloon ride using Uber, and more …

1
Power, Politics, and Smuggling in Nigeria 1:21:32

4M ago1:21:32

1:21:32

Join hosts Dez and Mayowa as they delve into the captivating underworld of smuggling, from Fayawo during the Second World War era to its modern-day implications on Nigerian society. This episode is inspired by Fisayo Soyombo's investigative report on IBD Dende. Timestamp facts:14.10 Dahiru Mangal:38.20 Unfolding through an in-depth conversation, un…

1
Trailer: Seamen and Smugglers 1:52

4M ago1:52

1:52

from Kano to the English Channel.. with Mayowa IdowuBy twotruthsandadirtylie

1
Family Nudist Camps, Meat Naps, & Deceased and Assist 1:01:42

4M ago1:01:42

1:01:42

The guys discuss how Damon’s saved soul qualifies him as a hero, when “six to a stick” is the only acceptable measurement for a green coaster on your table, and why turtle tunnels are essential in preventing train derailment.By Damon Puracchio and Ted Willson

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Drunk Monkeys Podcasts

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