Desperately Seeking Senior living is for all the sons, daughters, grandkids, spouses and ALL caregivers who suddenly find themselves tangled in the search for senior living and care. Join us for Doable Tips or our full length Family Talk episodes where Host Valerie Lynn interviews families about their experiences searching for senior living and care. Dive deeper with our Doable Download where we include full show notes, industry definitions and bonus tips from our guests. All designed to hel ...
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We are Dwight and Patty, as you might have guessed, two people in a. band called, The Wind and The Wave. We used to broadcast live internet "shows" while on tour, usually from a terrible hotel room on a day off. That show was called 'The Dwight and Patty Show.' Those odd little moments, almost more than any other, continue to be one of our most requested pieces of content, so we decided to jump into the podcast ocean to see if we could swim. This podcast is what happens when two bandmates ta ...
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Lynn & Patti talk about everything and anything regarding being a People Pleaser. People Pleasers are the most helpful people you know. They usually don't say no. They spend a great deal of time doing things for others and disregard their own needs. Being a People Pleaser could cause you to be disappointed because not everyone has the same heart as you do. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/quiet-struggles/support
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EP 142 What's Love got to do with Assisted Living & Memory Care?
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I’ve often heard families say that moving their mom or dad into assisted living or memory care kindof felt like dropping their kids off at daycare that first time. Why would it feel that way? The first time I dropped my son off at daycare is burned in my brain. He cried...I cried…it was terrible! I think one of the reasons moving your loved one int…
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EP 141 What's Under Lock & Key in a Memory Care Community
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Why do certain items get locked up in memory care communities and adult family homes? Was there a list of items like medications, vitamins, and even flowers and plants that you were told would be locked up before move-in day? It is vital to understand the importance of these "lock-up" precautions and how to adjust your routines to ensure the safety…
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Ep 140 Family Talk with Special Guest, Patti LaFleur aka Miss Patti Cake - Finding the Right Care Setting, Dementia Caregiving & Grief - Heartbreakingly Beautiful
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Patti LaFleur is the Lorenzo’s House Youth Initiatives and Outreach Lead. Patti is the former carepartner to her mom, Linda, who had younger-onset dementia - and a former elementary educator of over 10 years. Patti designs and leads our youth programming with intentionality, knowledge and love. Her capacity to connect with family members through li…
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Ep 139 Embracing Dementia and Overcoming Denial with Guest Ana Burnes
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Ana Burnes is a seasoned marketing professional with over a decade of experience forging strong community partnerships. Her extensive background includes leadership roles and a specialized focus in the medical field, where she excels in patient care and assistance. Ana is dedicated to making a positive impact on the lives of those she serves, and s…
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Ep 138 Activities and Expectations in Senior Living & Care
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You’re on your first tour of a memory care community and as you walk in to the common area you stop in your tracks. All the residents are lined up facing a big screen TV. You don’t even remember what was on the screen because you just couldn’t stop thinking… is this what they do all day? In this episode we’re getting real about activities in senior…
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Ep 137 Aging, Ageism in Healthcare, Advocating & Creating a Plan for the Future with Guest Dr. Corinne Auman
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Dr. Corinne Auman is a Gerontologist with over 20 years of experience. She has a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology with a specialty in adulthood & aging. She's an author, educator, caregiving and aging expert. Corinne’s passion for educating families comes from her own family's caregiving journey and years helping families through her care manageme…
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Ep 136 They Don't Give You a Handbook When Your Mom or Dad Isn't Safe at Home Any Longer
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They don’t give you a handbook when your mom or dad isn’t safe to live alone any longer… This is what a family member recently said to me and while a complete handbook would be way more involved than this podcast episode…and probably not even possible… I’m going to share insights from families just like yours and give you some tips for creating you…
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Ep 135 How to Help Your Aging Loved One Accept Care with Guest Angela Garcia
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Has your loved one said they’re never moving from their house but they’re also refusing to let you bring in a caregiver…to help them with that shower or make that meal? Well then you do not want to miss this episode! Angela Garcia of Sunshine Care Services is here to share her secret sauce for helping seniors accept the care they need! In this epis…
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Ep 134 Family Talk with Sharon Miller - Losing a Loved One to Dementia, Rehab & Adult Family Homes
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In this episode, Sharon opens up about her journey alongside her husband, Loyd, as they navigate life with Dementia. From those heart-sinking moments of noticing Loyd's memory and ability to communicate slip away to caregiving, strong views about skilled nursing & rehab and finding the right adult family home. This is Sharon's story. CLICK HERE for…
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Ep 133 Helping Your Doctor Help You with a Dementia Diagnosis
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Many folks love and respect their doctor this is one reason they’re the first line of defense when it comes to a Dementia diagnosis, however studies show that families often aren't receiving the assistance they expected. Studies also show a lack of Dementia training for Primary Care Physicians. In this episode, we're taking a look at some strategie…
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Ep 132 Advocating for the Things Your Loved One Loves or Used to Love - Memory Care
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Last episode we talked about this same topic but we applied it to those in Independent and assisted living. We talked about getting creative and advocating ….and with Memory care I believe that’s even more important …if you’re listening and you’re a family member looking for memory care I believe you hold the key to helping this transition to memor…
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Ep 131 Advocating for the Things Your Loved One Loves or Used to Love
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Some of my favorite stories in senior living have come from finding that thing…that activity…that spark.... that makes this really difficult transition… a little more personal. Many seniors express that moving to senior living is where they're going to die or that you...their loved one or caregiver are just going to drop them off...or another phras…
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Ep 130 From Hospital to Skilled Nursing Rehab...Is there Another Option?
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Rehab…. Short term rehab…. Skilled nursing facility… SNF… Through the years, I've witnessed families struggle with tough decisions, particularly when it comes to transitioning to assisted-living or memory care following a crisis at home, often triggered by a fall or illness. Unfortunately, about 90% of the families I've worked with have faced chall…
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Ep 129 Medicaid, The Medicaid Spend down & Senior Living
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What is a Medicaid spend down?? Does it mean my mom is guaranteed to qualify for Medicaid after she spends down her money? If you’ve started your search for senior living and care and are concerned about finances… it’s likely you’ve heard the word Medicaid and the phrases straight Medicaid and the Medicaid spend down. But what exactly does this mea…
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Ep 128 What you Don't Know About the Senior Living Industry with Special Guest Melissa Fritz
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Maybe you’ve even started to google senior living and care and maybe you’re scratching your head trying to figure out why it's so confusing! I’m your host Valerie Lynn and…in this episode I’m talking with industry professional and host of the upcoming PBS North special, Inside Senior Living, Melissa Fritz. Melissa’s series, Inside Senior Living, fo…
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Ep 127 First Responders, Caregivers & Dementia
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Does your state...city...county require dementia training for your Police Officers and EMT's? Many do not. In this episode, we’re talking about interactions with first responders and their Dementia training or lack of dementia training and what caregivers can do to help. CLICK HERE for our DOABLE DOWNLOAD with FULL SHOW NOTES Follow us on INSTAGRAM…
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Ep 126 The Home Visit from a Senior Living Community
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When you toured a community you most likely gave them your phone number and most likely your Mom gave them hers. When you do that you’re going to get follow up phone calls. That call is to check in and see where you’re at in the process and how things are going. From this call the home visit is born. In this episode we're talking about what exactly…
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Ep 125 Behind the Scenes of A Senior Living Community with Executive Director Tina Nutt
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Have you ever wondered what it takes to run an assisted living community? Should you ask to meet the person in charge and is there anything you should be asking them? Who exactly IS the person in charge and what should you expect from them when your mom or dad lives there? In this episode, we’re talking with Executive Director Tina Nutt ... that pe…
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Ep 124 Assisted Living & Care - Terminology Through Story
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"I'm sorry...what did you say?" After years of working in senior living, I still forget that this industry has its own language. A language most of the families I work with have never heard or know very little about. A language largely from the medical field... no doubt due to its creator Doctor Keren Wilson of Oregon. No matter where it came from,…
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Ep 123 Types of Dementia and Their Affect on Your Search for Senior Living and Care
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Despite the fact that dementia is a very individual disease - and that symptoms may vary - many memory care communities will not even consider a new resident with a Lewy body, Frontotemporal, Vascular or Alcohol Related Dementia diagnosis. They won’t even look at their medications or doctors notes. This week we're looking at some of the symptoms of…
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Ep 122 Who Can Help You with Your Search for Assisted Living and Memory Care?
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You’ve made so many phone calls ... gone on tours and ultimately didn’t find what you were looking for. Let’s be honest....maybe you're not even really sure what you're supposed to be looking for or even need. So this week we’re going to talk about help you may find along the way if you or someone you know is starting this journey. We're talking ab…
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Ep 121 Why is it So Hard to Find What You’re looking for in Senior Living and Care?
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It feels like it should be easy. You search..."my mom needs help going to the bathroom". Or "care for my elderly parent" or "help for seniors". You google and you should be able to get a straightforward answer, right? You call the places that come up during your search and none of them can help. Almost all of our clients tried to find the right fit…
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Ep 120 Should you Disclose Everything to a Senior Living Community or Adult Family Home?
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Many families struggle with disclosing their loved ones care needs especially if there are behaviors they find embarrassing or if they feel no-one could possible want to care for their loved one. Other families find financial information too private to share. Some families don't know what they should or shouldn't be sharing. In this episode we're t…
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Ep 119 When the Senior Living Community Tour Guide is NOT Available
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Some families have been turned away... some were faced with frazzled, nervous staff... other families reported feeling unwelcome. So what is this tour guide position, why does everyone seem so nervous when they're not available and why it is so hard to get the information you want. Don't miss this episode!!! CLICK HERE for our DOABLE DOWNLOAD with …
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There are things in life we take for granted…like driving. We jump in our car and take off to the grocery store without a thought. Loss of independence is one of the top things seniors report they fear. Not being able to drive is one of the biggest representations of that loss. So what are you supposed to do when you fear your loved one isn’t safe …
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Ep 117 The Mini Mental Exam for Alzheimer’s & Dementia
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Has your loved one has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's or Dementia? Or have you told their Doctor you suspect they have a cognitive impairment? Then you may have heard about this test. Many families we work with are still confused about how it works and what impact it can have on finding the right assisted living or memory care. This week we're tal…
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Ep 116 Can Families Provide Care in Assisted Living?
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Caregiving is such a difficult job…It comes with so many emotions…loss, guilt, frustration, anger, sadness and fear. Despite your reasons for being a caregiver…there often comes a day when you make that move to assisted living. But what if your mom or dad are asking you to continue helping them shower? What if the cost of medication management has …
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Ep 115 When You Disagree with the Community’s Nurse Assessment
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You know your loved one best but when it comes to a nurse assessment…The community is balancing regulations and liabilities. Yes, They are providing care but they are also a company. A company that is subject to annual inspection and protecting their license as well as the caregivers and other residents. There are so many variables to consider. So …
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Ep 114 How Senior Living Communities Figure Cost
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If you’ve been through the search for senior living chances are the pricing got confusing. Why is it so hard to get a final price? Why is it so hard to compare and how does the cost change so quickly? This week we're answering these tough questions! CLICK HERE for our DOABLE DOWNLOAD with FULL SHOW NOTES Follow us on INSTAGRAM for more doable tips!…
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Ep 113 Will Your Independent or Retirement Living Community call 911 for Your Loved One? Some won't.
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There are many reasons seniors decide to make the move to senior living…sometimes it’s the yard, meals, transportation or making new friends. Many times is safety. Whatever the reason…I bet you didn’t think you had to ask THIS question. In my research, I have found 3 companies...not communities but companies... with many communities... whose policy…
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Ep 112 Explaining Alzheimer’s & All Forms of Dementia to Children of all Ages with Guests Alder Allensworth & Brenda Freed
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Your mom has Alzheimer’s…. And you? … Have teenagers. So what do you do when your teenagers say, "No!" to spending time with grandma? Or maybe your mom thinks your 10 year old is actually you! With everything you have on your plate…how are you supposed to handle this!? This week we’re talking with Counselor and RN, Alder Allensworth and Singer/Song…
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Ep 111 Family Talk with Leslie Fuller - The Conversation about Moving to Assisted Living, Downsizing & Asking for Help
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In this episode, founder of Inspired Senior Care, Leslie Fuller shares her family's story. She talks about what it was like when the strong one, the caregiver....the one no one was expecting to end up in the hospital...did. What the conversation about assisted living was like and how the process of moving was for them. Leslie has her master of soci…
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Ep 110 Language Matters in Assisted Living and Memory Care with Guest Leslie Fuller
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Have you ever toured a senior living community… and it just didn’t feel right? Did you hear things or see things that made you feel like this was an institution and not a community? If you're not getting that warm welcoming feeling.. how can you be sure your mom or dad will? In this episode, we’re talking with the founder of Inspired Senior Care, L…
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Ep 109 When to Consider the Cash Home Buyer - Investor/Wholesaler with Guests Brian & Ranny Ray
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JOHN BUYS UGLY HOUSES Have you ever seen these small signs on the side of the road? Did you know that these folks get lists of homes that have been paid off or are on a reverse mortgage and call the home owner? In many cases attempting to undervalue the home and buy it for a very low price. They could be calling your mom or dad or grandma. I’m so e…
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Ep 108 Caregiver Resources with Guest Carrie Aalberts AKA Dementia Darling
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This is our 4th episode in our caregiver series with Carrie Alberts, a.k.a. Dementia Darling. In this episode, we're talking about all her favorite resources for caregivers. These resources are for anyone. If you know someone with Alzheimer’s or any cognitive impairment or if you’re a caregiver in memory care or a private duty caregiver. You’ll wan…
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Ep 107 Dementia Tips with Guest Carrie Aalberts aka Dementia Darling
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This week is our third episode in our caregiver series. I’m so excited to welcome back Carrie Alberts, a.k.a. Dementia Darling and if you’re listening right now and you’re thinking... Oh I didn’t mean to listen to a dementia episode… this episode isn’t for me… Then I definitely want you to listen in because these tips are for anyone interacting wit…
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Ep 106 From Respite to Gaslighting - More Tips for Caregivers with Guest Carrie Aalberts aka Dementia Darling
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Last week we started our caregiver series with Carrie Aalberts aka dementia darling… with her top tip… finding your community and if you’re a caregiver or you know someone who is? you’ll definitely want to check it out… This episode is a continuation of our first conversation covering Carrie’s top tips for caregivers. Carrie worked in senior living…
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Ep 105 Finding Your Community as a Caregiver with Carrie Aalberts aka Dementia Darling
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You visit your mom once a week to fill her pill box but you worry she’s not taking her medications, so you give her a call every day just to make sure. Or maybe your dad lives with you because he just isn’t safe living alone and even though he doesn't need much help, you make his meals every day. Sound familiar? You’re a caregiver and it’s time to …
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How many times have you cringed watching your mom almost trip over her dog? And what happens when you’re not there? What to do with your parent's beloved cat or dog can be a brutal conversation. In this episode, we talk about knowing when it's time to have the conversation about pets and other possible options to giving them up. CLICK HERE for our …
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Ep 103 Loss of Independence in Senior Living
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The time has come for your mom to move into senior living and she’s NOT happy about it. She keeps talking about how she’s losing her independence but you see it as gaining the freedom to do more since she won’t have to worry about keeping up with the house. So what’s she talking about? This week we’re looking at what this loss might look like for y…
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Many of our clients have told us they spent hours on the internet… which led them to countless phone calls…which led them nowhere! So why is it so hard to find what you’re looking for? Listen in! CLICK HERE for our DOABLE DOWNLOAD with FULL SHOW NOTES Follow us on INSTAGRAM for more doable tips! Need help with your situation? BECOME A CLIENT TODAY!…
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Ep 101 Why a Birthday is Way More Important than Cake
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Do you know your Mom or Dad or Grandpa's birthday? Are you sure? This week we're talking about why a birthdate could be wrong and why it's so important for seniors! CLICK HERE for our DOABLE DOWNLOAD with FULL SHOW NOTES Follow us on INSTAGRAM for more doable tips! Need help with your situation? BECOME A CLIENT TODAY! Would you like to share your s…
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Ep 100 Mom’s been in Rehab too Long and Medicaid Won’t Pay to Keep her Apartment
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21 days, 12 days, 42 days… zero days. These are just some of the states and how long they’ll hold your mom or dad’s apartment while they’re in the hospital on vacation or in a skilled nursing facility. Listen in to Sarah's story and find out what her options were! CLICK HERE for our DOABLE DOWNLOAD with FULL SHOW NOTES Follow us on INSTAGRAM for mo…
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Ep 99 How to be Sure You're Choosing the Right Senior Living Community
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It's true....assisted living, memory care and even independent living is all designed to help your aging loved one. It's also true that these are BUSINESSES and your tour guide... is a sales position. So how can you be sure you're choosing the right community for your loved one and not just because you like the person showing you around? I've got s…
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Saying the words I’m lonely or sad or depressed are not the usual conversation starters especially since mom or dad don’t want to be a burden. You’re more likely to hear them say they’re fine…they like being alone. So today we’re going to outline some of the signs your aging loved one might be isolating, possible objections to getting out of the ho…
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Ep 97 Family Talk - Ryan Herd, Cancer, Caregiving and Tech
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I'm excited to welcome back, Ryan Herd. You may have seen his TEDx talk about his innovative technology that helps you be a fly on the wall for your aging loved one. (Check out last week's episode to learn more about this amazing tech!) This week, Ryan is sharing his inspiration…The story about his father’s battle with cancer and how Ryan’s concern…
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Ep 96 Is Your Loved One Safe Behind Closed Doors? How Can You be Sure? Guest Ryan Herd
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Is your mom leaving the stove on? Did the furnace break down in the middle of winter or the air conditioner during the hottest days and you didn’t find out for a week? Are you considering installing cameras…But that just seems too intrusive? Then you won't want to miss this episode! We’re talking with the creator of caregiver smart solutions, Ryan …
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What’s in a name? Alot…there’s so much that I would give anything to have had the technology we have today where I could've kept a recording of my dad leaving me a message… calling me the way he usually did by my first and middle name. My dad died in 2007 he had alcohol related dementia and there was a point in his disease where he didn’t know who …
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Ep 94 The Assisted Living Conversation and Likely Objections with Guest Bekah Wolken
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Ok…so who’s going to talk to mom about the fact that she is not doing ok at home? Is it you? Your brother? Her best friend or her Doctor? Are you seriously dreading this conversation...because most families are! This week is PART 2 with Bekah Wolken of Brookdale Courtyard Puyallup. We're talking strategies, tone and likely objections you should be …
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Ep 93 Common Signs Your Loved One May Need More Assistance - with Guest Bekah Wolken
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We've all been asked how we're doing and most of us... at one time or another have said..."I'm fine." If you've asked your aging parent the same question? Chances are you're hearing..."I'm just fine." So this week we're talking with Bekah Wolken of Brookdale Courtyard Puyallup about some of the signs that fine...might not be fine at all. CLICK HERE…
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