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Parenting is hard, but it's even harder when you feel alone and have only the sounds of Cocomelon to keep you company. Childproof is a parenting chat show for when you’re craving adult conversation. As parents to three kids each, co-hosts Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom have been there. They know that sometimes our kids are the ones on the verge of a tantrum, and that sometimes it’s us. Childproof attempts to figure out the dos, don’ts, and f*ck its of modern parenthood. From yelling at yo ...
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The Inspector Mama Podcast Navigating the baby aisle is so daunting. Finding a playgroup is scary. Does the five second rule apply to a pacifier? And everyone tells you to relax! Is it so wrong to want to know everything about sippy cups? A little neurosis is okay! The Inspector Mama podcast will focus on a different topic each week. You will get the low down on homemade applesauce, pre & pro-biotics, parenting styles, baby safety, politics and more. This is a safe space for parents that w ...
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It’s been a wonderful holiday break. We are spirited out though and looking forward to our spawn going and hanging out with other folks for a hot second. From grinning and bearing our kids’ tastes in media to when you’re forced to take your own parenting advice FOR yourself, returning to routine is important and this episode of Childproof really ha…
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This is the episode that isn’t an episode but is made of parts of all the other episodes that were episodes even if they were weird episodes. A full episode of minisodes? Anyway Gwenna and Tori are spending their holiday with their family and will have plenty to talk about after the break. Please enjoy this montage of our favorite clips and moments…
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It’s another preshow preview. And a montage. Who doesn’t love a montage? Yes we did one of these but we aren’t very good at planning and this one isn’t the same as the one a few months ago. Our Patrons and paid subscribers get these little treats served to them every week. It’s basically a FaceTime between Tori and I. We typically have to explain t…
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Winter break is upon us in the northern hemisphere. (Happy summer to our Southern Hemisphere listeners) We’ve got holidays and school breaks and kids everywhere. With so much to do there’s still somehow room for boredom. This podcast episode is full of boredom busters of all variety to not just survive the break but to thrive, enjoy your time, and …
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It’s the most wonderful time of the year. The time when we read your emails and chat. Gwenna and Tori have been asking listeners to share their favorite Christmas, holiday, and winter memories with us. For this email round up we share a selection of the hundreds of stories we received. We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, joke…
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What does it take to become an artist? How much are you standing in your own way? This week Tori and Gwenna welcome artist (and now author) Scott Christian Sava. Scott Sava is an artist, illustrator, and creator from Yonkers New York. His animated film Animal Crackers is on Netflix starring John Krasinski and an all-star cast. He’s worked on Spider…
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It’s the holiday season and tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Your friendly neighborhood podcasts hosts little bit forgot they’d be insanely busy in the lead up to Thanksgiving in the US. So you get a preshow run long. If you’re a former subscriber you’ll recognize this chaos for what it is. Tori and Gwenna being odd and barely having their ish together. F…
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The holidays can be hard. From schedules to budgets, magic to mayhem, there’s a lot. All the time. It feels like we kick a ball down the hill October first and then spend a full 120 days chasing it back down. How do you maintain that holiday spirit for the long haul? Should you or is that a more unrealistic expectation of perfection? And when every…
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It turns out one episode of being mad wasn’t enough. We’re still mad but we are working through it. Anger isn’t taboo but it is hard to work with. Tori and Gwenna discuss the language they use to normalize all the big, heavy, negative emotions. It’s alright to feel frustrated but we don’t have to stay there. You’re right to be mad but is the mad he…
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Does getting mad make you bad? Absolutely not. A lot of folks grew up being told to bottle up their feelings and that carries long term consequences. The cycle breakers are trying to uncork their own bottles while helping their kids avoid the bottling thing altogether. We’re like really messed up genies. Only we can’t grant wishes. On this episode …
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On today’s episode of childproof, we hear you. No. Really, we do. Yeah, we’re doing all the talking but it’s a podcast. This one is about listening though and sometimes, as parents, it’s hard to feel heard while also active listening. So, no we can’t actually hear you but we can discuss active listening and some of the wild things we have to active…
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Fire, Knives, and Other Things to Give Kids
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Parenting with and through anxiety can give a person anxiety. How do I overcome my irrational (and sometimes rational) fears to let my children grow up with a healthy relationship with their own fear and anxiety? If being a worrywart is contagious, how do I make sure I’m avoiding anxious sneezing all over my kids? A few mental tricks, a few just bi…
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What do you mean I have to choose every meal I eat for the rest of my life? What do you mean I’m responsible for choosing what most everyone in this house eats for the foreseeable future? And I have to pick outfits. And extracurriculars. And snacks. And bedtimes. And time management. And that’s a lot of choices and I do not feel qualified to make t…
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Spooky season has begun which means many of us are beginning to shop for Halloween costumes. Unless you’re like tori in which case you’ve got weeks until you have to worry about it. Mood, honestly. This episode we discuss how Halloween costumes trigger Gwenna’s childhood trauma, how to help your kid deal with comparisons, overcompensating, and proj…
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It’s that time again. Tori and Gwenna dive into the inbox and the comment sections to see what you really want to talk about. From over-thinking (which we are professionals at) to bathing in children’s tears, we cover a lot of ground. We’re just following your lead here. We love email round ups because it always makes us feel a little less alone. A…
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Human beings are sort of built to complain. It helps us regulate, it can make us feel better, and it sometimes helps us work out a solution to whatever we’re complaining about. But there’s a limit to everything and the limit for complaining is pretty low. When you get stuck in a complain chain, it can feel impossible to get out of that negative cyc…
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A recent Harris Poll found as released and had internet parents in an uproar. Tori and Gwenna had a bit of a different take. In a data driven world, how do you cut through the click bait headlines to see what the data is actually describing. Do we have a long series of struggles helping our kids navigate tech? Sure. Is it a huge problem that kids a…
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Hello from the other side of some of the things we thought our kids would never grow out of. Parents of young children are often told “Cherish it! You’ll miss it when it’s gone and they’re grown!” Right, so there’s merit to that but there are a bunch of things that we definitely will not miss. Diapers, waiting 7-10 business days for them to “dood i…
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Part of parenting is realizing you’ll almost never get to complete a sentence. Or a thought. At least during certain ages and stages. Constant interruptions, whether your kids meant to or not. They are just little distraction machines and can’t always help it. Luckily Tori and Gwenna are easily distracted by everything. Including their own podcast.…
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Millennials are notorious for really cherishing their nostalgia. We can’t help it. We had really cool things. And we long for simpler times. But not too simple. A new parenting trend is emerging that blends modern convenience and invention with the laid back vibe of the 90s. From landline phones making a comeback to wiping the floor with your own p…
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Much of raising kids is fostering, dealing with, and cleaning up from our kids doing stuff “by themself”. Our goal, among others, is to parent ourselves out of a job which means letting them try, fail, revise, and try again. But as our kids get older those fails get fewer and far between and they start realizing all this independence we’ve been let…
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It’s back to school season and that means it’s time to talk a lot about going back to school. On this episode of Childproof, we tackle that it’s alright to feel relieved that these kids are not going to be in your house all dang day. We discuss how various communities support us and our kids. And then we tackle phone bans and why we don’t think tha…
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What’s in a name? Turns out we’ve been debating that for a hot second. On the heels of a Wall Street Journal piece comparing “Gentle Parenting” with “FAFO Parenting” Tori and Gwenna discuss the difference (Is there one? *shrug*) They also discuss some visual and production changes upcoming for Childproof as the podcast enters its next era. Ever won…
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Summer is slowly winding itself down and many of us look forward to sending our precious womb fruit to school. Tori and Gwenna certainly are. But they are also waist deep in back to school shopping, gathering supplies, and deciding whether they’ll have a growth spurt before or after we buy back to school clothes. This episode is an email round up t…
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If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a hundred times… we all have phrases that are said in repeat. And things our kids will VOW never to say to their own progeny (they probably will but in a different way but whatever, you can be right, kid.) Ultimately, repetition is how humans learn. And she children are just humans in beta mode, we repeat ourselves…
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Latina Finance Coach Erika Aviña Shares Money Moves for Moms 💸 | Prosperity Planning
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Mamas, if you've ever whispered "Just one thing at Target" and walked out $200 lighter — this one's for you 💸 In this episode, Carla (aka Inspector Mama®) sits down with Erika Aviña, Latina finance coach and founder of Prosperity Planning, to talk about real-world money moves for moms: Budgeting while pregnant or planning maternity leave How to sto…
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Is your kid ready to watch Deadpool? Good news. That’s your call. Bad news. We probably won’t help very much in deciding. This episode Tori and Gwenna discuss ways we think about media, movies, music, books, and internet for our kids. When are they old enough to understand what they are looking at? How do you know when a movie isn’t going to give t…
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Where do you keep your deodorant? If the answer is something reasonable like bathroom or gym bag… this episode might sound odd. Cuz we keep our deodorant in the kitchen. Today on childproof we’re playing a little This or That. Did you grow up in an ingredient house or a snack house? What about now? Was your family a “everyone in their rooms” group …
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It’s finally here. The announcement we’ve been teasing. The news we’ve been itching to share. The thing we’ve been working on for months. Two brand new podcasts from the Pleasant Phantom Network: Founded by Tori Phantom and Bibliophage from Gwenna Laithland. To introduce you to both ideas, this episode of Childproof is basically a three-for-one spe…
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Inner Child Healing for Modern Mamas: A Conversation with AMG Healing
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In this soul-stirring episode of Inspector Mama®, we sit down with Andrea of AMG Healing to explore the powerful intersection of inner child healing, ancestral wisdom, and modern motherhood. Andrea shares her deeply personal journey through: 🌿 A near-death birth experience that sparked a spiritual awakening 🌿 The shift from survival-mode parenting …
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Welcome to summer. School is out. It’s hot. The chorus of I’m bored has begun. But let’s be honest. It’s not just the kids who get bored. Parents get bored too. We just aren’t allowed to complain about it as loudly. On this episode of Childproof Tori and Gwenna discuss how they cope with their own boredom and teach kids how to be bored while doing …
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Tori gave Gwenna a minisode to discuss books versus movies because they desperately needed to hear more on the subject after the timer went off. Timerless time well spent. Did you like hearing Gwenna talk about books and want to hear more? Let us know [email protected] Did you catch that bit at the end? Learn more about your ad choices. Visi…
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Nostalgia always hits different. It’s even weirder when you start sharing the staples of your past with the next generation. Does Ferngully still hold up? (Spoiler: Tim Curry always holds up.) In this episode of Childproof, Tori and Gwenna discuss how much of our childhoods translate well to our children’s. From TV shows to movies, playground games…
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La Cultura Cura featuring Blue Dream Bruja
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What happens when your body remembers something before your mind does? In this episode, I sit down with the powerful and tender-hearted Blue Dream Bruja—a sobadora, counselor, artist, and intuitive based in Los Angeles. We talk about sobadas (traditional massage), womb healing, ancestral memory, and why reclaiming our cultura is an act of political…
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We are responsive parents. Not perfect ones. In this episode of Childproof Tori and Gwenna tackle some of their less than stellar moments, discuss the glories of apologies, and recount some of their wilder moments of total disregulation. Hate getting interrupted? Us too. Triggered by feeling ignored? Same. Feel destructive and overstimulated by a t…
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Tori won a bet and got to talk about whatever they wanted to for five whole minutes and Gwenna had to pretend to be interested. Then there was a surprising plot twist. Gwenna was so interested that now there's an entire minisode so Tori could finish their story. Did you enjoy hearing about Benjamin Rush, do you want to hear more? Let us know childp…
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Did you ever think you’d miss Baby Shark? Because you might miss Baby Shark…This episode is a little bit of everything. Some emails, some listener submissions, some topics that we want to talk about but wouldn’t be enough for a whole episode. Be sure to check out the mini-minisode because the timer rudely interrupted Tori’s Benjamin Rush rant.Also …
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Making friends as a kid seemed hard when Gwenna and Tori were kids. Turns out it was way easier to make friends as kids as it is to make friends as moms. Also, it’s good to note, sometimes we don’t need to improve the system. Writing a note “Will you be my friend, check yes or no” still feels like a valid approach. This week we discuss making frien…
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We resume discussion of the Surviving Summer. It doesn’t have to suck. There are ways to make it fun for everyone without breaking the bank. Lots and lots of things to do to keep the kids engaged, out of brain rot mode, and not driving you bonkers with boredom. We go over a few ideas. Plus, Gwenna made a complete summer survival guide as a free dow…
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Summertime is nearly upon us. Closer for some than others but the school year is wrapping up and these kids are about to be home all day. Every day. Why are summers so hard for parents? Tori and Gwenna try to deconstruct why summers kinda suck and discuss a few ways to make them suck a little less. At least that’s what they try to do. They get dist…
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Today’s episode of the Childproof Podcast is diving back into our email box and comment sections to hear what you have to say. We beg you to email us all the time and it only feels fair that we share with the rest of the class. If you have a question, comment, or idea for the show please email us at [email protected] or leave us a comment. T…
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American cheese may or may not be food. Blue is a flavor. As is purple. Cosplayers and Sports Fans are basically the same. Raisins are definitely not food. There is crying in the zombie apocalypse. These are the hills we shall defend until the bitter end. And this episode makes no sense. We’re not going to pretend otherwise. Enjoy. And be sure to e…
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We know we have to let our kids mess up. We have to let them learn. Sometimes we have to let them learn the hard way. They mess up and they have to find out. This episode of Childproof covers just what it takes when we have to take a step back and let our kids find out. Disclaimer: Sensitive viewers & listeners take note, death, dying, grieving, pe…
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What happens when two sarcastic people make children together? You end up with a kid who is genetically built to be sarcastic. That’s what. Ask us how we know. This episode we are talking kid jokes, learning time and place, how sarcasm can still be empathetic, and then more kid jokes. We like kid jokes. Merch: Click Here Tori's History Series: Clic…
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Being a twenty-first century parent is a lot. You have to find time for yourself while prioritizing yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself. Be yourself. But how are you supposed to do that when these kids rely on you for almost everything. How do you find time to be yourself, or even remember who you are while parenting? …
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Sometimes you gotta do it anxious. There’s a difference between feeling anxious and living with anxiety. No matter what level of anxious you feel, you still have to parent and adult and work and live. This episode we discuss how anxiety impacts us, how we help our kids process their anxiety, and how anxiety isn’t all bad all the time. We want to he…
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Dr Google: A Mom’s Best Friend & Worst Enemy
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Your kid is sick. Is it time for an ice pack and a nap? Or is it doctor time? When do you give Tylenol? Is Motrin safe for babies? Did I do something that got my kid lice? What do you mean my kid can’t wear their coat in their car seat? Parents hit up Google a lot. This episode of Childproof dives a little deeper and provides real-time parenting in…
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We like to read. We really like to read. Books have been a constant companion of both Tori and Gwenna and we are working on passing that love of reading on. It’s a slower process that we expected with some of our kids. Others jumped right in. This episode we discuss how we help our kids choose books, series they love, series we love, and how we fin…
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Will it work for everyone? Absolutely not. There’s no one right way to raise kids. And sometimes you get to look at a rule and say Nope. We can’t do it that way. It won’t work for us. From approaching hair color and makeup to what our kids can consume for media, we set the boundaries and hope we got it right? Youtube: Click Here Ban This Book: Clic…
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Ever look at a common idea or behavior and think “Nope. That’s not for me.” Cuz same. Today on Childproof Tori and Gwenna discuss come of their most Chaotic Good Parenting choices. From perfect attendance to censoring music with some stops in virtual learning, mental health days, and shocking toll booth attendants. Youtube: Click Here Email us at c…
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