Best Cyndi Doyle Podcasts (2024)

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Ep 148: Navigating Burnout in Law Enforcement Communities 1:05:42

19d ago1:05:42

1:05:42

Burnout in law enforcement as an officer or spouse seems inevitable, considering the sacrifices you make and the impact on both of you. It leads to arguments and disconnection. You work hard, juggling work, home, social life, projects, kids, parents, and all the other things. Appointments, meetings, and shifts keep getting added to your calendar, a…

1
Ep 147: How to Advocate for Police Families After a Traumatic Brain Injury 49:42

1M ago49:42

49:42

In this episode of the Code4Couples podcast, host Cyndi Doyle continues the conversation with Joan Van De Greik about the severe financial impacts following her husband's traumatic brain injury (TBI) sustained in the line of duty. Joan shares the struggles they faced including mounting medical expenses, navigating insurance and workers' comp, the i…

1
Ep: 146 The Impact of In the Line of Duty Injuries on Law Enforcement Families 55:54

2M ago55:54

55:54

There's an injury to the head on the job. If it's an open wound, it gets addressed, stapled up, and healed. As time goes on, you or your spouse notices that you're different. You're changing your mood, your drive, your impulsivity and your memory isn’t what it used to be. You aren't sure what's happening. Despite what looks fine externally, you kno…

1
Ep 145: Indirect Trauma in Law Enforcement Relationships 49:00

2M ago49:00

49:00

In a dual first responder home, there are times when first person and vicarious trauma must coexist. We may experience the traumatic incident firsthand and then hear the other person's view of the same incident when we are home together. While the differing perspectives can be beneficial, it's not always true. Everyone reacts to a singular incident…

1
Ep 144: Trauma in Law Enforcement Families 51:23

3M ago51:23

51:23

As a couple, we are aware that officers and their families can be impacted by the job. Sometimes, the impact is trauma. That trauma can be direct or indirect. Secondary traumatic stress can impact officers, spouses, children, or even extended family and friends. We need to be aware of the signs and symptoms to help ourselves and those we love. Expe…

1
Ep 143: Hypervigilance in Law Enforcement Families 51:00

3M ago51:00

51:00

Hypervigilance allows officers to stay aware and safe on the job. As an officer or spouse, you may be aware or have a general understanding of hypervigilance. You may even understand that what goes up must come down. Sadly, that single biological process that keeps our officers safe, can spill over like a tsunami in our relationships. We need to be…

1
Ep 142: Thriving in and out of the career 55:57

4M ago55:57

55:57

In this podcast episode, host Cyndi Doyle interviews Brian Ellis, a retired law enforcement officer and creator of Magnus Worx, about the importance of wellness and resilience in the law enforcement profession. Wellness is not just a physical issue, but also a mental one, and it is crucial for law enforcement organizations to prioritize the well-be…

1
Ep 141: Must have Conversations for Every Law Enforcement Couple 48:07

5M ago48:07

48:07

My husband and I were super naive when it came to understanding how his job was going to impact our relationship. I saw it as a career path, just like any other. I mean, sure, there was danger and shift work, but what more could there be? No one told us what to expect or how to make sure our relationship stayed solid. As a couple new to law enforce…

1
Ep 140: The Impact of Moral Injuries 44:23

5M ago44:23

44:23

Moral Injuries are a significant yet often unrecognized issue among first responders. Understanding what a moral injury is and recognizing its potential impact on careers and families is crucial to their overall wellness. In this episode, Judy Couwels talks about what moral injuries are, how to recognize them, and how to combat their impact. The Fi…

1
Ep 139: Communication Challenges in Special Assignments 52:52

6M ago52:52

52:52

Communication and connection are a challenge for all of us in law enforcement relationships. There are some extra special challenges when you're on call all the time or you're in situations where you just can't talk due to being in a special assignment such as undercover work or maybe the part of a SWAT team. Heather Williams, a law enforcement pro…

1
Ep 138: Let Family In 47:20

8M ago47:20

47:20

“I just don't want to burden my spouse with what I experience on the job” is a way of protecting the people that you love. I always thought my husband was open only to find out later that this happened a few times within our relationship. Most of the time an officer's spouse and family sense that something is up. It bleeds over. While protecting th…

1
Ep 137: Workicide 45:53

8M ago45:53

45:53

We have all worked in a toxic work environment due to the workplace culture, co-workers, supervisors, or the work itself.    Stephanie Kiesow is a former law enforcement officer, cop kid, and cop’s wife.  She saw how work impacted her parents, their mood, and in turn the family.  She started her career in law enforcement at 18 and in 2011, when her…

1
Ep 136: To Hell and Back 44:18

9M ago44:18

44:18

In this podcast episode, host Cyndi Doyle interviews John Blumenthal, a Retired Master Sergeant (Ret.) with the Oklahoma City Police Department. Blumenthal shares his personal journey of struggling with trauma and making poor choices, which led to the deterioration of his relationships with his family. He emphasizes the importance of prioritizing w…

1
Ep 135: Burnout 53:37

9M ago53:37

53:37

We all know that this lifestyle means long hours and lots of stress. Loss of sleep only impacts stress further. When does stress become burnout? Burnout is oftentimes a precursor to more serious mental health issues. If we could catch burnout or even work to prevent burnout, officers would be safer on the job and relationships are potentially more …

1
Ep 134: Communication and Trauma Response after Critical Incidents 1:09:44

10M ago1:09:44

1:09:44

Katie Bingner is a counselor in Maryland, a law enforcement spouse, and a communications coach for law enforcement couples. I just assumed that her wife worked in Maryland. I was wrong. She works in Washington, DC. That led me to ask about January 6th and come to find out, her wife was in the thick of it. What started as an interview about connecti…

1
Ep 133: Making Your Holiday Happy 52:01

11M ago52:01

52:01

There is a holiday song that always makes my husband and I laugh. It is Bob Rivers singing "The Twelve Pains of Christmas," and it's funny because it is sadly and hilariously true. The lyrics are the first thing about Christmas that's such a pain to me and he goes through a list. The first one is finding a Christmas tree, rigging up the lights, and…

1
Ep 132: The Cop Doc 1:00:22

11M ago1:00:22

1:00:22

You may or may not know who Dr. Ellen Kirschman is, but you’ve certainly been impacted by her. I think of Ellen as the godmother of police psychology. She has paved the way for many counselors and spouses with her books, I Love A Cop and Counseling Cops. She was one of the first, if not the first, to offer workshops for spouses to understand their …

1
Ep 131: Wives on Duty 51:38

11M ago51:38

51:38

Before I met Allison Uribe, I came across her book, Cuffs and Coffee: A Devotional for Wives of America's Law Enforcement Officers. When we met in 2019 at a conference in Ohio where we were both speaking, I realized that Allison was not only a lot of fun but that she had grit. She will fess up to not handling situations the best way possible early …

1
Ep 130: Retirement in Dual Law Enforcement Relationships 49:39

11M ago49:39

49:39

No one I know is more out in our community as a dual law enforcement couple sharing their story than Cathy and Javier Bustos. I interviewed them several years ago on episode 46 when they were both still working in law enforcement and growing with their company, That Peer Support Couple. They shared their unique lens on being an officer and a spouse…

1
Encore: The Overtime Trap 33:19

12M ago33:19

33:19

The holiday season can be challenging for any couple. For law enforcement couples, we know that it's going to bring an absence to regularly scheduled events and rituals. What can be kind of nice is the increased need for off-duty officers at shopping centers and churches, or the overtime that comes with having to work events, or the holidays themse…

1
Ep 129: Holding on to HAPPY 56:30

12M ago56:30

56:30

Resilience is one of those words that gets shared in our community. But, what does it mean to be resilient, and how do we get there? Resilience isn’t about “bouncing back” but arriving at the understanding that your life has shifted or changed because of what has occurred. Resilience is about making meaning from what we have experienced. In this ep…

1
Ep 128: Be Better or Be Bitter 55:04

12M ago55:04

55:04

As a law enforcement officer, you spend a lot of time helping other families during and after a crisis. You spend much of your time arresting people who are driving drunk, using drugs, stealing, or other illegal activities and you've probably called people who engage in those activities "losers", "idiots", "scumbags" or other derogatory names. Now,…

1
Ep 127: Common Issues in Law Enforcement Relationships 31:33

1y ago31:33

31:33

This week's podcast is a little bit of a spin. Adam Davis interviewed me for a conference he produced early this year. He had some good questions, so the interview was pretty alright. (HA) I asked him if I could share this interview on my podcast. Of course, he said yes. In this interview, I talk about a few ways that the job of law enforcement can…

1
Encore: Domestic Violence or Bad Behavior? 41:03

1y ago41:03

41:03

There are a lot of statistics that go around with law enforcement and domestic violence. "Google 40% in Law Enforcement or maybe just the comment "40%." Those are the comments I sometimes get in my posts or in my reels on Instagram. I know exactly what it means when I read it. They are referring to the popular statistic that 40% of Law Enforcement …

1
Ep 126: Men's Work with Garret Teslaa 37:32

1y ago37:32

37:32

Garrett TeSlaa, host of the Squad Room podcast and Lieutenant in Southern California, reached out to me and asked if I had done a podcast on "men’s work." I had to give him a hard time about men’s work versus women’s work, and we joked around about it, but what he really meant was what I thought. It’s easier for women to do certain things like read…

1
Ep 125: Beyond the Badge 49:50

1y ago49:50

49:50

Michael Laidler is an experienced law enforcement officer and a lieutenant with the Federal Bureau of Prisons, but when you meet him, he's not LT or Lieutenant. He's Michael Laidler, Lieutenant. Along the way, he has realized that it's incredibly important to remind himself that law enforcement has a role in his life, but it is not his entire life.…

1
Ep 124: Support Behind the Badge 45:49

1y ago45:49

45:49

Imagine you sustain an injury on the job as an officer, an injury that takes you out of work for a while. Now, imagine what it would be like if no one in the department called to check on you. Imagine being that spouse who is taking care of the officer, still needing to work, picking up all the household duties, and still trying to physically take …

1
Ep 123: Shiftwork Nutrition 49:49

1y ago49:49

49:49

You're going from call to call and there is finally a moment when things slow down. You start to realize you haven't even thought about eating, much less had time to eat on your 12 hour shift that you're now seven hours into. In fact, you're actually really hungry, but you're lunch, dinner, or whatever meal you want to call it is at the PD in the f…

1
Ep 122: Mindset and Control 53:43

1y ago53:43

53:43

There are some people that just inspire you to be better. Kristofor Healey is one of those people. Kristofor was an award-winning special agent with the government for over 15 years, taking on some of the world's most notorious criminal organizations. He's a keynote speaker, a coach, podcast host, and the author of The Indispensable Man, which he d…

1
Ep 121: Connection at Home with the Lt's Daughter 46:10

1y ago46:10

46:10

As a child growing up in a police family, Katherine Boyle didn't really understand what her dad did for a living. To her, it was just her life. Looking back, she sees the things that she thinks her dad did right for her to feel safe and for them to have a close relationship to this day. Katherine is the “Lt’s daughter”. She's making waves on social…

1
Ep 120: I'm Not Bulletproof 44:45

1y ago44:45

44:45

On Thursday, September 1st 2022, I decided to go to work at the office for a couple of hours. I was texting with my husband, and we were joking around as I packed up. Then he said, “I don’t feel right, get home.” I immediately got into the car and started driving the 17 miles home. At a stoplight in town, I got a text that said, “Call 911?” I said,…

1
Ep 119: The Cycle of Sex 48:36

1y ago48:36

48:36

Maybe this will sound familiar to you. You haven't seen each other for a while because you are working shifts and missing each other due to schedules, stress with family, work, and kids. You finally get a small amount of time together and one of you wants to make the most of this time to have sex, but as soon as you start trying to make the moves, …

1
Ep 118: Moral Injury 35:01

1y ago35:01

35:01

You finish a call, and it went well, but something's not sitting right. You feel bad, kind of guilty, or maybe even a little shameful. You see your friend that was just involved in an officer involved shooting recently, and people are going by and letting them know that it was a good shot, you know, it was a good shot. He's even been cleared. But y…

1
Ep 117: The Badge, The Bottle and My Better Half 52:03

1y ago52:03

52:03

There are some people I encounter that I immediately get a good vibe from.  I met John Monaghan virtually on a call we were both on and he subtly mentioned that he had overcome an addiction to alcohol and spoke with passion about officer mental health and the impact on the family.  I mentioned something about vulnerability and taking off emotional …

1
Ep 116: Boxing up Emotions: The Good and Bad 48:27

1y ago48:27

48:27

If you’re an officer, you may find yourself using compartmentalization to stay focused and act in stressful situations. As spouses, we want our officers and first responders to be able to utilize this skill because it keeps them attentive and safe. However, compartmentalization can have some unintended fallout in terms of the ability to feel presen…

1
EP 115: Are Your Love Languages Transactional? 51:14

1+ y ago51:14

51:14

The most popular idea that couples have regarding relationships seems to be the five love languages. I've heard many couples talk about knowing their own love languages and some even know their partner's love language. If each other’s love languages are known, one would think your relationship’s needs would be met, but that is not always the case. …

1
Ep 114: Financial Wellness in Law Enforcement 45:09

1+ y ago45:09

45:09

All right, raise your hand if you sometimes find yourself scrolling on Amazon and adding a few things to your cart. Or maybe you find yourself really focused on wanting to take that next big trip or get that new gun or fishing pole. Maybe you just get tired of cooking and order takeout, maybe a little too much. Some of those impulse decisions can l…

1
Ep 113: Parenting in Policing 42:00

1+ y ago42:00

42:00

Many of you know that I'm not a parent. Even though I wasn't able to have the personal experience of raising a child in a law enforcement family, I often feel confident when fielding questions regarding the impact on children. However, I do seek out people that have firsthand knowledge, experience, stories, and expertise so that you as a parent can…

1
Ep 112: Communication Differences Between Men and Women: The Four Positions 48:09

1+ y ago48:09

48:09

My husband and I often have struggles, frustrations, and miscommunication. When we're talking, we may miss what the other person is wanting or needing in order to connect. Many times, I want to go deeper into something, and he tells me there's not anything deeper to be said. He will sometimes make what I think is a controversial statement and my re…

1
Ep 111: The Four S's for Trust and Safety in Your Relationship 47:45

1+ y ago47:45

47:45

There are all kinds of challenges in our relationships as law enforcement and first responder couples. The time away from each other can cause our insecurities to arise and create negative stories about why your spouse really isn't answering the phone, what they're doing with their time away from you, or why that connection just doesn't feel as str…

1
Ep 110: The Spartan Relationship 1:02:47

1+ y ago1:02:47

1:02:47

In the first responder world, the spouse is most often the one left at home to pick up the pieces while the officer is on shift. The impact of the career can force a spouse to become fiercely independent in unexpected areas of a relationship. Between shift work, extra duty jobs, and on call shifts, there isn’t much of a choice, BUT independence doe…

1
Ep 109: Spillover from Conditioned Communication 59:23

1+ y ago59:23

59:23

In our everyday interactions, communication plays a vital role in how we connect with others. It shapes our relationships, influences our understanding, and defines our experiences. At times, we can find ourselves in situations where we struggle to convey our thoughts, emotions, and needs effectively to others. Add in the conditioning from the job …

1
Encore: Eggshells and Living BIG 34:55

1+ y ago34:55

34:55

Do you ever feel like you are walking on eggshells at home to avoid conflict in your first responder relationship? Your eggshells may grow and layer on top of each other until both people address the conflict AND the eggshells. We need to learn how to get past those eggshells and what your role and responsibility in creating that for your relations…

1
Ep 108: Rebranding the Mindset of Self-Care 58:27

1+ y ago58:27

58:27

A couple of episodes ago, I introduced you to wellness coach and law enforcement wife Katie Ouzounian with Episode 106: Are Values Driving Your Relationship? During one of our chats, she mentioned words to me that made me cringe. Self-care. Try telling an LEO spouse who is managing two to three kids, working full-time, has a spouse working undercov…

1
Ep 107: Legacies Are Built at Home, Not at Work 48:27

1+ y ago48:27

48:27

As a law enforcement officer or spouse, you know that trauma has the potential to impact you as a parent. When raising a child in this lifestyle you are aware that they will be impacted as well. However, when children are impacted, they can't always communicate or understand what's going on. Situations that may not impact us as adults with adult br…

1
Ep 106: Are Values Driving your Relationship? 49:53

1+ y ago49:53

49:53

You may have heard me talk about how if we don't pay attention, we can wind up off course in this lifestyle. The sacrifices that you make as an officer or as a spouse are more than just your time. We wind up slipping away from our values. Family is number one, yet there is so much time away from the family and when we are together, the impact from …

1
Ep 105: Surviving and Thriving through Retirement 42:15

1+ y ago42:15

42:15

For years, my hubby and I thought and talked about what it would be like when we finally crossed the finish line into retirement. In fact, I had a countdown app on my phone that I started long ago that would tell me when the date would be when he would be eligible for retirement. We leaned on that a lot when we were tired, frustrated, or irritated …

1
Ep 104: Let's talk treatment: Different approaches to PTSD 46:39

1+ y ago46:39

46:39

Law enforcement and first responders are not destined to walk away with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). They are, however, more likely to struggle with PTSD than the general population. As a spouse, you may be impacted by a situation or an incident and struggle with trauma yourself. Or maybe you're concerned or worried about your officer as …

1
Ep 103: National Advocacy in Law Enforcement 1:18:12

1+ y ago1:18:12

1:18:12

A couple of episodes ago, I gave you the first part of my interview with Kelli Lowe. We talked about how Kelli showed up as an advocate in her local community and department after the events of Ferguson occurred. She is also a national advocate for policing and goes to Washington DC with other wives to lobby for benefits and legislation to protect …

1
Ep 102: The Impact of a Critical Incident on Spouses 39:54

1+ y ago39:54

39:54

Being a new law enforcement spouse can be difficult. There can be feelings of apprehension and fear every time your partner walks out the door. Many times, it can leave spouses feeling like this wasn’t what they signed up for. Jen Gudat felt this exact way as her husband transitioned from being a reserve police officer for free on the weekends to a…

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