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Evil Engineer

E&T Magazine

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Dear Villains, I, the Evil Engineer, have received your letters and although I am incredibly busy with my Evil Engineering obligations, I have recognised the importance of sharing my Evil expertise with the villainous community. Whether your questions pertain to incendiary seagulls or plunging the earth into eternal darkness, I, The Evil Engineer, will deliver informed advice on your most evil ambitions.Yours,The Evil Engineer
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Confessions

editaudio, Cosmopolitan

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At Cosmopolitan, we’re famous for keeping your secrets and for getting to the bottom of your most burning questions. From toxic in-laws to friends with messy finances to having a crush on your coworker — Confessions is a safe space to talk out all the gory-but-helpful details of getting through life's weirdest stuff.
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Do you have the next big idea, but not sure how to launch it? Or do you have a small business and want to take it to the next level? Welcome to the Surf Goggles Chronicles - a bipolar business roller coaster. From concept to market, through horror and success learn how Kurtis and Jon launched Kurtis Eyewear from their garage to 65 countries worldwide. From a prototype of tin foil and rubber bands, learn how these 2 guys navigated, patents, trademarks, sourcing, manufacturing, marketing, e-co ...
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It's no secret that sex changes as you age, but this listener, who is single in her sixties, is having trouble escaping the ideals of sex that shaped her in her formative years. Girls were taught that sex was meant for after marriage and that it wasn't something to be discussed. It was not something empowering, let alone playful. As she stands with…
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This confession gets into a topic that carries a lot of stigma: couples therapy. Most people think, “If you’re in counseling, your marriage, relationship, whatever, is about to be kaput.” Not so! People seek out therapy together for a number of reasons other than hating each other’s guts, like our listener on this episode, who wants to go to couple…
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A friendship breakup can hurt more than a romantic breakup, especially when you don’t see it coming. This listener's friend of over a decade suddenly lost her dad by suicide. She supported her through this grieving process—her friend even shared sensitive details about her dad's death that she likely didn't tell anyone else. One day, our listener's…
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Our listener had a sex dream about her best friend's boyfriend. 😟 She's never really been into him, so now she feels super awkward. What does this kind of dream mean? Does she secretly like her best friend's boo?? Our guest Layne Dalfen founded The Dream Interpretation Center in Montreal in 1997. She has been a lecturer at Concordia University in M…
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The world sucks. Your imagination is probably a nicer, safer place. The listener in this episode is writing in to ask if it's irresponsible to give herself permission to be delusional. If everyone else on TikTok can be delulu, why can't she? Our guest Antoni Bumba is a transgender content creator dominating multiple niches with her notorious pop cu…
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Sometimes, telling your best friend the truth means that feelings might get hurt. In these situations, you have to ask yourself, “Am I willing to risk a friendship to do what I believe is the right thing?” Our listener is not a fan of her best friend’s girlfriend and things are moving quickly—like, moving in together after six months quickly. Shoul…
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It's just nature that we want what we can't have. In this confession, our listener is struggling with an office crush that's been haunting her for 18 months. "It's so painful as nothing will ever happen between us but the infatuation is so persistent," she says. Oh, and she's married, which makes matters worse. How can she get this man out of her h…
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Our listener caught the travel bug from influencers on Instagram, but she's afraid that she will have a different experience than them in the same beautiful, dazzling locations across the globe because she's Black. Her family members and friends have shared their tales of racism while traveling abroad—being mistaken for a sex worker in Italy or bei…
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We're switching up the format in this episode and hear confessions from SEVERAL listeners related to a topic that we probably (unfortunately) all know something about—bad, weird, and awkward sex. At Cosmo, we’re all about having good sex, but sometimes, things just go awry. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You live and you learn from those experiences, but you sure never…
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There are bad exes...and then there are harmful exes. Unfortunately, this discussion is focused on the latter. Our listener was stuck in a relationship with a person who, along with his family, went out of their way to rob her of her self-worth. Now that she’s single and free, she’s having trouble picking up the pieces from her time with this man. …
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Building your life after college is an emotional game of "choose your own adventure." Our listener is just about to graduate, and while her dream has been to live in New York City and pursue a career in fashion journalism, her family just bought a home far away from Manhattan. She's faced with a choice: Stay with her family and find a remote job or…
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​​Opening up a relationship can be a very fulfilling and exciting choice for a couple. In this instance, our listener and their partner opened up their marriage sexually but agreed to draw a boundary: no catching feelings. Still, her spouse fell in love with someone else and it nearly ended in a divorce. How should they build their relationship bac…
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Is it helpful or nosy to give your friends unsolicited financial advice? In this episode, our listener is sick of their friend borrowing money to pay their electric bill when Miu Miu shoes are sitting in their closet and their credit card is maxed out. All we know is that setting boundaries with your bestie gets sticky when money is involved. Our g…
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Becoming a parent is a daunting adventure for many, and social media often magnifies its challenges. Our listener shares that after witnessing the primal scream of under-resourced parents (read: mostly mothers) on Instagram during the pandemic, she is more afraid than ever about becoming a mom. The stats validate her concerns: As of 2016, women spe…
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Here’s a word that might send a shiver down your spine depending on your luck in this lifetime: in-laws. Yeeeah. I’ll give you a minute to unclench. While your in-laws might make Thanksgiving a royal headache or send you unsolicited articles about your parenting choices, they probably haven’t launched a full-blown smear campaign against you…to your…
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At Cosmopolitan, we’re famous for keeping your secrets and for getting to the bottom of your most burning questions. From toxic in-laws to friends with messy finances to having a crush on your coworker — Confessions is a safe space to talk out all the gory-but-helpful details of getting through life's weirdest stuff. See Privacy Policy at https://a…
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This polar bear has had it with global warming ruining its habitat, Can it flip the tables on humanity? Dear Evil Engineer, I am a resentful and wealthy polar bear. You can only imagine the trauma my species has experienced; it wasn’t long after the hunting stopped that our habitat started melting away into the ocean. We’re sick to the (very large)…
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A lovestruck villain would like to engineer the ideal romantic gift. Dear Evil Engineer, For 35 years, I have considered myself a strong, independent villain who doesn’t need a partner in crime, but I have recently become smitten with someone I met at my local farmers’ market. She is gorgeous, funny, has a fluffy white cat, and makes the best beetr…
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This month, the Evil Engineer breaks some bad news to a villain who wants to live out their retirement like El Dorado. Dear Evil Engineer, After a long and lucrative career in real estate, I am ready to put my wealth to good use. I would like to build myself a castle from gold, à la El Dorado. When I say gold, I should specify that I mean solid gol…
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A directed-energy weapon could deter dawdling tourists, but your energy would be better spent throwing stuff. Dear Evil Engineer, Five years ago, I hung up the white cat and retired to a pleasant village in the Cotswolds. Unfortunately, this village has been flung to unwanted prominence as the location used for filming a hit period drama series. Li…
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This month’s correspondent is determined not to return to the office, even if that necessitates using hundreds of gulls to burn it to the ground. Dear Evil Engineer, If I were in senior management, I’d insist office-based working is essential for employee productivity and company culture. However, I am not, and I refuse to tolerate the proposed ret…
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This episode, a lonesome correspondent seeks advice on how to force the rest of the world to join them in the dark. Dear Evil Engineer, I am a creature of darkness, by which I mean that I am nocturnal. I suffer from extraordinary light sensitivity, which forces me to restrict my waking hours to between dusk and dawn. This is of great inconvenience …
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Exploding skulls are beyond the realm of practical possibility, but there is plenty of mischief to be done through the medium of sound. Dear Evil Engineer, On account of a particularly contrived origin story involving a marching band, an unrequited love and traumatic public humiliation, I emerged as a villain who commits crimes using music. I have …
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The Evil Engineer weighs up the environmental credentials of carnivorous domestic heating systems. Dear Evil Engineer, I am frustrated by the lack of leadership on climate action, particularly regarding low-hanging fruit such as boosting the energy efficiency of housing stock. I ask myself: what can I do to prevent the Earth becoming uninhabitable …
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The Evil Engineer turns their attention to a booming area of villainy: water theft. Dear Evil Engineer, Earlier this year I bought a derelict castle. I’ve been busy with upkeep, dealing with a bat infestation (the previous owner had chased them out) and fixing the dungeon (it had been converted into a yoga and wellness studio). The final addition w…
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Dear Villains, I have received your letters and although I am incredibly busy with my Evil Engineering obligations, I have recognised the importance of sharing my Evil expertise with the villainous community. Whether your questions pertain to incendiary seagulls or plunging the earth into eternal darkness, I, The Evil Engineer, will deliver informe…
  continue reading
 
From Concept to 1 Billion in Sales with Brian Smith Ugg Australia. Jon Berezay and Kurtis Shipcott dive deep and ask about growing pains, raising money, corporate structure, the need for partners, etc. “You Can’t Give Birth to Adults!” Follow Brian Smith at www.UggFounder.com @BrianSmithUgg on Instagram BUY HIS BOOK “Birth of a Brand” Launching You…
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Traditional Retail is Dying, but E-Commerce is thriving. Jon Berezay and Kurtis Shipcott discuss the top 5 opportunities in E-Commerce as recently suggested in Entrepreneur Magazine on this episode of the Surf Goggles Chronicles. Where to start? - Sell your Knowledge: Webinar, Videos Series, E-book - ETSY - Will do over 700 Million in Sales This Ye…
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Why is traditional brick and mortar retail failing? The worst year on record for retail store closures in the USA was 2008, but early into 2017 we have surpassed that. Did consumers stop buying? Consumer buying habits have changed and physical stores have been eclipsed by e-commerce. Nordstroms, Sears, Staples and K-mart - 2008 was the worst year o…
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In this episode of The Surf Goggles Chronicles, Kurtis Shipcott reminds us, building your brand is not just kiteboarding with Sir Richard Branson and surfing with world champions. “It’s not often talked about, but being an entrepreneur is lonely.” Jayson Demers. Accountability - If your brand fails it’s your fault! - The Financial Stress & Uncertai…
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Why are you doing it? What’s your goal? Jon Berezay talks Goggle and their Objective / Key Results. We discuss Smart Goals and Kurtis talks how to eat an elephant… one bit at a time on this edition of the www.SurfGogglesChronicles.com Jon discusses Co-Hosting a Social Media Event for Multi-Million Dollar E-Commerce Companies. - Does your company, b…
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What is a funnel and how do you use them? Is Your Product Over $100? In this episode Kurtis and Jon share how they use lead magnets, funnels and marketing automation to offer value up front. How do you go from 4% conversions to 8% and beyond? What is a Funnel? - How does Kurtis Eyewear use funnels - What is Marketing Automation? - Campaign Basics -…
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Do You want to Increase Conversions? Do you have a product that Costs $100, $500 or More? You will need to have at least 7 touches with your customer prior to them making a purchases. How do you do this? Give value up front and build the relationship with lead magnets. What is a lead magnet? - How do they work? - PDF’s, Video Series and E-books - H…
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Based on the feedback from “Virtual Employees - SGC 18” Jon and Kurtis dive deep into Inbound vs Outbound Marketing. When, how and why they use both for Kurtis Eyewear marketing efforts. Inbound marketing defined - Outbound Marketing defined - Facebook, Youtube and Adwords Marketing - Content creation and how it works - Creating articles - Interrup…
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Which tools do we use to save time and money? How does Kurtis make his instagram, facebook and tumblr feeds pop? Implement the Five, Five, One approach or save time and money with these killer apps, hacks and tools used by these two surfing entrepreneurs. The Over App - Using video and creating killer collages - Pic, Play, Post - Effort vs Efficien…
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Are You Working In Your Business or On Your Business? As an Entrepreneur you will be wearing many hats. Some hats are $10 an hour and others will be worth $200 per hour. Where are you spending your time? Hiring Help - Outsourcing - Independent Contractor and Virtual Assistants - Be Clear and Specific - Kurtis says don’t hire them to be creative - $…
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Where to begin? Kurtis and Jon tell you how to start a business today. Legal structure can always be improved. Are you fully committed or do you just want to dabble and learn? Either way learning is easier while doing. Go for it! www.SurfGogglesChrnocles.com #iTunes Sole Proprietorship - County Clerk Filing - Fictitious Business Name - Smith Automo…
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Got Fear? Sure you do, but 90% of it won’t come true! Jon and Kurtis respond to questions from listeners involving how to build and manage your first employees or independent contractors. If an Introvert and a surfer can do it so can you - No Fear! www.SurfGogglesChrnoicles.com It’s All Just Fear! - Jon is an Introvert & a Manager - Getting Comfort…
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Once you dive into events and immerse your company in the industry you will get immediate feedback. How did Kurtis and Jon @SurfGogglesChronicles go from their garage to being invited to exclusive events? If you want to get noticed help others achieve their goals. In this episode of the Surf Goggles Chronicles: Selecting Events & Which Venue is Wor…
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Are your ready to find out if your baby is ugly? You have walked an industry trade show, but now it’s your turn to debut your company, brand or product idea. Kurtis & Jon @SurfGogglesChronicles discuss where they’ve succeeded and failed. In this episode of The Surf Goggles Chronicles: Is Your Goal Feedback, Sales, Networking or Media Coverage - Loc…
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So how do you go from a tinfoil and rubber band prototype to kick ass world wide production? Jon Berezay talks story with Kurtis Eyewear founder Kurtis Shipcott. How did you source for quality and consistency? Kurtis discusses many failures and successes. -Where do you find materials?- -Show everyone and your network will expand- -Find 3 sources fo…
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How do you show your concept / idea to others ? The Story of Kurtis Eyewear @KurtisEyewear began in a garage just like Apple, IBM, Disney and Punk Rock. Jon picks the brain of Kurtis on the early days. Building prototypes made of tin foil and rubber bands to heating plastic in his mom’s kitchen. -Clay, napkins and other materials- -Keep it simple- …
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Kristen Prinz of the Prinz Law Firm @PrinzLawFirm and Kurtis discuss image releases. Do you own the rights to the photos? Building your visual portfolio via images and video. Are you creating an asset or a liability if you sell your company? In this minisode of the Surf Goggles Chronicles Image Releases and Talent Releases What about photographer a…
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In this minisode Kurtis talks contracts with Kristen Prinz @PrinzLawFirm . How to create clear expectations for both parties. How to avoid a legal battle through contracts and save money through mediation. In this episode of the Surf Goggles Chronicles Basic Contracts One page with bullet points for clarity and agreement How Kurtis lost $3600 with …
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In this minisode entrepreneur and attorney Kristen Prinz with the Prinz Law Firm @Prinzlawfirm warns us of google searching non-disclosure generic forms. What is really covered? IP? Key Employees? Information? In this episode of the Surf Goggles Chronicles How Kurtis Eyewear uses Non-disclosure What do you need protected? Contracting with manufactu…
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Archies Ice Cream @ArchiesIceCream has been rocking Ice Cream at VIP events for 21 years. From Tony Hawk and Chuck Liddell to Steven Spielberg and the Beastie Boys they’ve got an A+ list of celebrity endorsements. How did Shant, Troy & Raffi go from concept to market of the coolest ice cream brand on the planet? We dig deep into their marketing / b…
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Kurtis Shipcott discusses how he wrote his first Utility Patent and why he filed for design patents in this minisode of the Surf Goggles Chronicles. Do you need a patent? What are you protecting? Claims? How to patent on a shoestring and why you should hire an expert. In this minisode of the Surf Goggles Chronicles Utility vs Design Patents Surf Go…
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Josh Beckett of Chronic Cellars @ChronicCellars gets studio time with Kurtis and Jon in this episode of Surf Goggles Chronicles. How did Josh and Jake do it? Another bipolar adventure from concept to market that is sure to leave you inspired, but scared. Would you mortgage your house and bet the farm to pursue your idea? Growing up on a wallet farm…
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In this minisode attorney and entrepreneur Kristen Prinz of the Prinz Law Firm @prinzLawFirm adds valuable expert consult on the importance of protecting a name. Kurtis shares how he saved $3,000.00 on his first ™ and lost an estimated $20,000.00 in value through not protecting Surf Goggles. Which Category to protect for your ™ When does ™ become ®…
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Kristen Prinz of The Prinz Law Firm joins Kurtis and Jon on this episode of the Surf Goggles Chronicles. When should you hire an attorney? When should you implement contracts? Best practices moving forward. www.Prinz-Lawfirm.com . The Surf Goggles Chronicles was inspired by The Mouse Driver Chronicles - read this book by John Lusk and Kyle Harrison…
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