In Episode 99 of Beyond the High Road Podcast, Shelby delivers significant insights on how cognitive distortions magnify the fears surrounding parental alienation. Shelby provides an update on her upcoming course aimed for early October, inviting listeners to contribute their preferences for either self-study or group coaching. She emphasizes the l…

In episode 98 of Beyond the High Road with Shelby Milford, Shelby explores the cognitive distortions that can unwittingly drive a wedge between parents and their children. She discusses key distortions such as excessive positivity, emotional reasoning, and micromanaging, and their impact on alienated parents. Shelby also shares strategies for overc…

In Episode 97 of Beyond the High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford delves deep into the challenges and emotional struggle that come with parental alienation. She reflects on past experiences, including court battles and the stresses of proving her worth as a mother. Shelby shares insights from Mark Manson on finding purpose by understanding what you are…

IT’LL ALL COME TOGETHER BY THE END OF THE EPISODE & THE TITLE WILL MAKE SENSE Having said that, the topics covered to get you there are: Understanding Procrastination & Embracing The Struggle to Create Purpose In episode 96 of the Beyond the High Road podcast, Shelby Milford explores the intertwined topics of procrastination and creating a PURPOSE …

Story Alchemy: Transforming Our Inner NarrativesIn episode 95 of the Beyond The High Road podcast, Shelby Milford discusses the impact of the stories we tell ourselves and how they influence our happiness. She emphasizes the importance of re-evaluating and reframing these narratives to improve our interactions and mental well-being. Shelby shares e…

In episode 94 of the Beyond the High Road podcast, host Shelby Milford discusses her insights and lessons learned from a tumultuous weekend and delves into the common traits among alienated parents and their potential links to childhood trauma stemming from the roles played by their own parent(s). She explores the possibility that many alienated pa…

In episode 93 of the Beyond the High Road podcast, Shelby Milford celebrates approaching the 100-episode milestone while working on a 'best of' collection. Shelby discusses the importance of physical exercise and nutrition in managing the prolonged freeze response and nervous system dysregulation experienced by many alienated parents. She shares pe…

From Freeze to Freedom: From The Journal of an Alienated ParentIn Episode 92 of the Beyond the High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford takes a deep dive into her personal struggles and triumphs during a bleak period of parental alienation. Sharing raw excerpts from her journal, Shelby revisits moments of heartache, confusion, and eventual self-realizatio…

Break Free from Stagnancy: Activate Purpose and Overcome FearIn episode 91 of 'Beyond the High Road' with Shelby Milford, Shelby discusses the importance of overcoming the feeling of being stuck and finding purpose. She emphasizes the necessity of breaking out of survival mode by taking proactive steps, even when it feels uncomfortable or uncertain…

Coping with Functional Freeze as an Alienated ParentIn episode 90 of Beyond the High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford shares her personal experiences and insights about functional freeze, especially in the context of being an alienated parent. She discusses the symptoms of functional freeze, how the condition can often be mistaken for depression, and t…

In episode 89 of Beyond the High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford addresses the emotional turmoil faced by parents experiencing alienation from their children. Shelby discusses common feelings of exhaustion, rejection, and the desire to 'cut ties,' urging listeners to reframe these emotions and view their situation with a more objective and compassiona…

⚡️Zing, Zing, ZING, yall. This one may be long, but I barely came up for air. If you’re ready for a 50 minute episode that’s chock full of tips, tricks — and yes, ZINGERS — to move you from a place of lack to a place of abundance THIS IS IT⚡️ . ………..In this episode of the 'Beyond the High Road' podcast, host Shelby Milford focuses on breaking free …

In episode 87 of Beyond the High Road Podcast, host Shelby Milford discusses overcoming mental barriers and focusing on solutions rather than problems, inspired by a recent challenge she faced while shopping for her daughter's birthday card. Shelby emphasizes the importance of personal perspective in addressing adversity, particularly in the contex…

In episode 86 of the Beyond the High Road podcast, Shelby Milford delves into an unexplored yet ubiquitous topic: handling shitty days and the difficult choices they present, especially while living apart from your beloved children. She opens up about her own experiences, including the complexities of her relationship with her daughter and father, …

In episode 85 of the Beyond the High Road podcast, host Shelby Milford discusses the challenges of feeling scrutinized and misunderstood, a topic inspired by her personal experiences and conversations with fellow alienated moms. She reflects on her own journey, starting from a point of feeling misunderstood to focusing on personal resilience in the…

This is a recording from the Facebook Live on Friday when we had a little story time! I thought y'all would benefit from it too. In the episode, I share a memory from a dark period of time for me (Mother's Day 2017), and then tie it together with this week's theme. I hope you love it. ♥️ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/…

In episode 84 of the Beyond the High Road podcast, host Shelby Milford discusses the challenges and emotions surrounding family-oriented holidays like Mother's Day and Father's Day, especially for target parents of alienation. Shelby shares personal anecdotes about the significance of these holidays and the memories associated with them, reflecting…

The dreaded deed of forgiveness: the original ”F” word, to an alienated parent. In this episode, Shelby shares insights on the pivotal role of forgiveness in healing from the pain parental alienation. She discusses the efficacy of family systems therapy over reunification therapy, drawing from advice received from a former attorney. The episode del…

I remember the first time I heard about reunification therapy... I thought, "OMG, FINALLY! There is a reasonable action to counter to all the damage that has been done! " . I was thrilled by the notion that maybe, just maybe, my case would begin to turn around. After a little research (and a lot of legwork), I was able to have a judge order the the…

Do you feel chained to the painful memories of your custody situation? Like youre obligated to tell and re-tell the same old stories about the same old incidents in order to make sense of WHY this has all happened? Even if you made a deciosjojn to drop it and move on, do you find yourself feeling blocked or stuck as a result of the power your ex ho…

Do You Self-Erase? I believe that the people and experiences we attract into our lives are a direct reflection of how we think & feel about ourselves on the inside… We can only connect with the same level of energy that we are putting out… you know? Continuing on from last week, I truly believe that.. due to our individual histories, we already lea…

Ever notice that, when caught in the clutches of a stressful moment, how you freak out and do exactly the opposite of: what you really want to do what is in your best interest, and/or what supports your goals and dreams? Like, in the moment, you know what you want longterm, but you just can't seem to stop yourself from choosing the unhealthy option…

If you've been down the research rabbit hole of alienation's long-term effects on children, you're well aware of the toll it could take on their cognitive development. Similarly (tho your brain may have been fully developed when your children were born), parents like us also experience a dulling of our critical thinking and deductive reasoning skil…

We spend our lives running, trying to circumnavigate situations that seem scary. It starts in school... we don't want to feel rejection. Hurt. We shudder at the idea of being made a fool or taken advantage of. Instead, we hide ourselves away, build up all these walls in effort to avoid emotional pain. Then, when the alienation begins... seemingly o…

We, as parents experiencing alienation, know isolation. We know lonely. Heck... it's right there in the two word term! When alienation begins, it doesn't only affect your role in your child's life -- in fact, the predicament we've found ourselves in affects so many other relationships. Until recently, your children were intertwined with your entire…

It seemed IMPOSSIBLE not to be consumed by it all.. The injustices were everywhere I turned. I was being followed, harassed, bullied, slandered, intimidated, threatened, and of course, grossly criticized of my ability of mother my child. The network of judges, custody evaluators, crooked "family" attorneys (not all of them were/are, but..); the str…

Part One: What We KNOW: When we've practiced believing the things we "know" for so long, we rarely question their validity. Even less often do we think to assess whether these "truths" work for us.. for who we are becoming. We go around thinking certain traits we've adopted are just "who we are"... but are they representing the you that you want to…

Guilt is an extremely common emotion during (any kind of ) grief. So if youre experiencing it, nothing has gone wrong in your healing. AND... as alienated parents, I think we can all agree that we guilt ourselves probably far more often than necessary. Before doing this work, I had no idea why. In this episode: Why guilt is a go-to for us Why we fe…

So... I received some news last week... News that even just two short years ago would’ve had me in a tailspin. I would’ve been so worked up, stomach on a roller coaster while working full speed to put reference to & defend the outrageous claims he was making against me. I think it's safe to say that, when youre cradling your darling, sweet smelling…

In this episode, we'll delve into the crucial distinction between giving up and acceptance for us, as parents experiencing alienation. Only you can decide what's right for you (and there is no "right" answer, anyway), but thru a couple personal stories, along with my own experience, this content will provide you with the clarity you've been searchi…

We can learn to "get by" after alienation happens; ducking behind a shield of indifference, while experiencing an ever-present undertone of victimhood... head on a swivel, while the subconscious brain scans the environment for any sign of danger (in the form of the alienating parent)... Is it obvious that I speak from experience on this one? 😆 ...o…

Should talk. Do you ever get tired of the pressure that comes with "should" & "shouldn't"? "Life shouldn't be like this." "My ex shouldn't be alienating my kid from me." "People shouldn't be so rude." "I should be further along than I am" "I should look forward to my parenting time" "I should look forward to my scheduled call with my kid" "I should…

Are you an unintentional hater? Chances are, if you've gone thru the tragic situation of alienation, you probably also had your "fair" share of heartbreaking experiences before the custody battle even began. It would make perfect sense if you picked up a few protective/coping mechanisms without even noticing. Here are just a couple of reasons why t…

Hope sounds like such a great thing. It sounds so affirmative, supportive, and well... HOPEFUL! Nearly every parent I've ever spoken with (hundreds of you) has used the word at least once during our conversations. Here's the thing about it: It SUCKS. Stay with me here. Think back to the last time you used it. How did it make you feel? ...On the ins…

Your ability to succeed is directly related to your default beliefs. In other words, if deep down, you don't believe you can accomplish amazing things, you will never try. You will live a mediocre life. You'll dumb yourself down. I know you are more than that. I believe that -- no matter the obstacles -- you can do and be anything you decide on. So…

Being in relationships with people you love - or even like -- disappointment is bound to happen every now and then. It's just part of being human. After alienation happens, we often clutch tightly to those who stuck around; we tend to expect more from them (after all, they're aware of the hell we've been through). Oftentimes, we develop a ruleset f…

I should be further along by now. It's too late. I'm too old. I missed my window. It's not happening fast enough. After alienation happened, each of those phrases played on a daily rotation in the jukebox of my brain. I never understood how people could get so much accomplished with such (seemingly) little effort. To me, it seemed like all I did wa…

What would change in your life if you weren’t afraid to have difficult conversations? Getting along with someone in your life when they're not acting as they "should" is one of the most challenging issues we face around the holidays. Then, when we add alienation into the mix, the opportunities for conflict to arise seem to multiply. One of the main…

In last week's episode I made a mistake. I referred to one of my thought choices as an "old resentment", suggesting that it's somewhat out of my control that I still lug it around with me today. But that's not how it actually is. And Than GOD for that. If we all had to reckon with the pain from our pasts by continuing to repeat the same old painful…

Change is inevitable. Right now, as you read this, the world around you is evolving. YOU are evolving. We all know this from an intellectual standpoint; but emotionally, we fight it tooth & nail. Change occurs when something makes it impossible for you to remain the same. Just as the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, YOU, as an alienated par…

I think one of my top pet peeves has to be when some person I dont know tells me:"smile! It can't be that bad!" You know what I'm talking about, right? I think the reason it annoys me so much is because that person is implying that a.) they know what's going on in my head and b.) that the absence of smile on my face is actually affecting them so mu…

As alienated parents, the emotions we experience are INTENSE. Over time, anger can be sewn into -- BAKED into -- the fabric of your being. It can begin to affect how you think, feel, and interact on default... down to your posture, facial expressions, and subconscious interpretations of your world around you. I used to think that when I had an inte…

I was thinking the other day about us (target parents), and about our children, for whom most of us would pledge both arms to have home again. Then it occurred to me.. "but I wonder how many parents feel ready to have them home?" ... "and I wonder how many of those parents have taken the steps necessary?" ... "or even know the steps to take?" Becau…

Those of us who've experienced alienation are all pretty well-versed in both pain & suffering. The combination of the two is AGONY. The good news is, only ONE of these is necessary. IN this episode: - my thoughts on getting to "happy" - how we perpetuate our pain - dirty pain on top of clean pain - why it's so important to allow your base pain - 4 …

This week makes ONE WHOLE YEAR for us! I say "us", because I really feel like you are part my team -- an integral part. This week's episode is dedicated to my top 10 favorite insights and most valuable lessons I've learned on this road to recovery. It's on the lengthier side, but as you'll hear, I had a lot going on for me personally this week. Enj…

Social Anxiety... it cripples many target parents of alienation. Throughout the year, I believe we kind of "manage" ourselves around it; however, once the holiday season rolls around, the influx of reminders can cause some of us to feel overwhelmed. The feelings show up in subtle ways at first, causing behaviors such as avoiding eye contact or limi…

Decisions... they seem so damn difficult to make (after alienation happens). Especially when you're in an active state of worry about what might happen as a result of your choice. Your brain will keep you in a state of paralysis if you've been telling yourself things like: "last time I made a decision, it cost me....." "Any choice I make is going t…

I used to think that the activation of my stress response meant I was DOOMED. You hear about it on the news, on social media... Heck, even my therapist harped on me about the insidious effects prolonged stress can have on the brain and body - early onset cognitive decline, cancers High BP, premature aging, depression, blah blah.. 😵‍💫SHEESH. I mean,…

Did you know that you were MADE for THIS CHALLENGE of alienation? Believe it or not, you already came equipped with everything you need to move through this (AND THEN SOME!!). Not everybody can boast this. And ya... you may chuckle -- even scoff -- at my glass-half-full perspective on the otherwise grim, depleting, and ugly predicament you've found…

Negative thought loops. Ohhh the time that we spend here. It’s a predicament that we, as parents experiencing alienation, seem to be especially prone to. The psychological environment almost seems to set up for it. Target parents can feel singled out — isolated, persecuted, unsafe. Our hyper vigilance causes our survival brain to run and RErun poss…