There are people in our lives who, because of biology or proximity, we would expect to show up for us in our times of need, and it can be especially painful when they don’t. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about the grief and disappointment when people close to us don’t show up, but also the beauty when other, less expected connections, do…

Caregivers regularly put the needs of their loved ones far above their own, even when that comes at a cost to their own wellbeing. In this episode, Allison shares how, after 14 years of accompanying her husband to a procedure he has regularly, she has made the decision to not attend for the sake of her own mental health. Listen in as she and Justin…

Some caregivers feel there is an unspoken expectation that we only share the positive aspects of our role; that we appear to be brave and strong and grateful. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about where that misperception may stem from, the damage it can cause, and how supporters can help.

With local and national elections just weeks away, we spoke with Nicole Jorwic, Chief of Campaigns and Advocacy for Caring Across Generations, a nonpartisan nonprofit working to build real, helpful, thoughtful care systems by transforming cultural norms and narratives about aging, disability and care, fighting for policy change at every level, and …

Two-thirds of family caregivers work full or part time in addition to their caregiving role. In this episode, we speak with Jessica C. Guthrie, caregiver for mother, about what it looks like when careers and caregiving collide. --- https://www.jessicacguthrie.com/ https://www.instagram.com/careercaregivingcollide/…

Aging, illness, and injuries can cause people to lose some of their freedom and autonomy. As caregivers, how do we help our loved ones maintain that autonomy and what does that look like when their decisions or actions impact us or may not be taking the whole picture into consideration? In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about ways to approac…

We will all experience grief in our lives, but there are unique and extra layers of emotions often felt by the person who had been the caregiver for the one who has passed. In this episode, we talk with Aisha Adkins, caregiver for her parents, about the loss of her mother and Eric Schlueter, caregiver for his wife, about his experience with grief s…

Advocacy is an enormous part of the role of the caregiver. We advocate on behalf of our loved ones in medical spaces, with friends and family, in the community, and even directly with our person. In this episode, Allison and Justin discuss these aspects of advocacy, how personality traits impact our comfort with these tasks, and how supporters can …

Caregivers and their loved ones frequently have to revisit the same buildings and rooms in which they previously experienced traumatizing procedures, treatments, or news. In this episode, Justin and Allison share what this has been like for them and how they handle going back time after time.

All of the tasks of being a caregiver can take a toll, causing physical, emotional, and mental fatigue. In an unfortunate bit of irony, that fatigue can make the role even more challenging. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about how it feels to be in an intense season of caregiving, the toll it takes, and the guilt they experience when they…

Justin’s wife received unexpected test results that led down the path of scans, an appointment with an oncologist and a plan for surgery. In this episode, Justin shares what they’ve been through and what lies ahead.

Caregivers can experience frequent moments of disappointment, from plans that need to be canceled to treatments that don’t work to people not showing up when we need them most. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about the types of disappointment they have faced, ways disappointment can be processed, and what we can do to manage our expectatio…

Caregivers and their families frequently find that well-meaning friends, family, and medical staff show up in ways that do not line up with the needs, wishes, and values of the patient. In these cases, it’s important for the caregiver to establish and enforce boundaries, both for their loved one and for themself, which can be challenging on a numbe…

Caregiving can have an enormous impact on the mental and emotional health of a caregiver and therapy is one important tool that can help. However, there are barriers that may cause caregivers to hesitate, despite the benefits. In this episode, Allison and Justin share their own experiences with therapy, describe what may stand in the way of a careg…

Some caregivers go through phases in which their loved one's health is a bit more stable. These seasons can leave caregivers wondering if they can still claim that title and can allow some space for reflection. In this episode, Justin talks about what it's been like to be in a quieter season these past few months.…

Making plans can feel risky and complex for caregivers, as they find themselves creating contingency plans for all that might go awry before, during, and after the event. All this can lead caregivers to play it safe, deciding that staying home is easier - but at what cost? In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about which way they tend to tip, a…

For people living with an illness or injury, appointments with medical professionals can feel like important moments to learn more about the prognosis, get access to new treatments, and share concerns about new symptoms. But what happens when those appointments don’t go well? How does that impact caregivers and what, if anything, is their role in f…

Most caregivers come into the role without any medical background and yet find themselves performing high stakes tasks and making countless decisions. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about times they did receive training, if it was effective, and where the gaps are in the system. --- https://www.embracingcarers.com/…

For a caregiver, the experience of a loved one being hospitalized can involve countless moments of decision-making, symptom tracking, and advocating all while being away from home and while bearing witness to our person’s suffering. Allison recently experienced all of this and more when her husband spent multiple days in the Emergency Room and hosp…

Stories of caregiving are becoming more prevalent in both the news and in the entertainment industry. In this episode, Justin and Allison weigh in about how accurately they feel it’s being portrayed and the impact of this type of representation for both caregivers and their supporters. --- NYTimes: "I Wish I Had Known That No One Was Going To Help …

When one member of a family has an accident or receives a diagnosis, every person feels the impact. In this episode, Allison and Justin interview Dr. Vaida Kazlauskaite, a medical family therapist, about how we can recognize and care for the needs of every family member.

The hustle and bustle of the holiday season can be especially challenging for caregivers who are already stretched thin and short on time, energy, and finances. In this episode, Allison and Justin discuss the factors that can make this time of year feel particularly hard, what we can do to make it through, and how supporters can help. --- In Sickne…

When we become caregivers, any illusion we had of being in control in our lives can be lost. We are often unable to control disease progression, our loved one’s pain, and broken systems, just to name a few. This lack of control can make some people cling more tightly to what they have left and can make others let go altogether. In this episode, Jus…

Treatment side effects, exhaustion, and role changes are just a few of the many reasons that a couple may struggle with or shy away from physical intimacy when dealing with a recovery from a serious illness. In this episode, Allison speaks with marriage and family therapist from Memorial Sloan Kettering, Dr. Talia Zaider, about how common this is a…

Medical appointments are often a huge component of a caregiver’s life, the impact spanning far beyond the time spent with the provider. In this episode, Justin and Allison discuss all that goes into preparing for, living through, and recovering from appointments from a caregiver perspective.

Susan Silk created "The Ring Theory" as a way to guide people who are supporting someone in a crisis. In this episode, Allison and Justin discuss how this model of "Comfort In, Dump Out" applies to caregiving. --- Ring Theory: How not to say the wrong thing

As caregivers, we have a front row seat to the suffering of our loved ones. We are often the only people who see them in their hardest moments. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about what that’s like, the impact it has on them, and how supporters can help.

When our loved one's days are numbered or their good days are few and far between, we can feel like we need to complete bucket lists or that we must make the most of every moment. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about how that pressure shows up in their lives and what they do about it.

Caregivers, like any of us, can fall into the trap of comparing themselves to others. Whether it’s comparing the severity, length, or type of caregiving they are doing with someone else, comparing their own struggles with that of the person for whom they are caring, or comparing their lives to their non-caregiving peers, these thoughts can creep in…

Each of us is wired differently and that wiring can lead us to choose our careers, our partners, our hobbies. But caregiving is a role into which we are thrust, so how do our personality traits help or hinder our caregiving lives? In this episode, Allison and Justin interview certified Enneagram Coach Jenna Law to learn more. --- https://www.enneag…

Caregivers are often told they are “saints” or that people can’t imagine how they do what they do. While well-meaning, language like this can have a variety of negative effects. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about how phrases like this land and what supporters can say instead.

There are things that we may grieve even before they happen. The death of a loved one is one such event, but it's certainly not the only. In this episode, Justin and Allison discuss the role this type of grief plays in their lives and how supporters can help.

Of all the emotions caregivers experience, anger isn’t one that is spoken of very often. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about why it is that caregivers feel they aren’t able to speak about their anger, triggers that may cause anger to occur, and strategies that may support caregivers as they process these feelings.…

Caregivers are weary. In this episode, Justin and Allison discuss some of the reasons, including extra responsibilities, lack of sleep, hypervigilance, and the emotional toll this role takes, as well as some realistic ways to find moments of rest.

There is often confusion around what palliative care is, who it is meant for, and at what stage of life. In this episode, Allison and Justin interview Dr. Drew Rosielle, who provides the history, describes the model, and outlines the goals and benefits of palliative care. --- https://getpalliativecare.org/…

Caregiving can impact our friendships in a variety of ways. Some friends disappear. Others stick around, but disappoint. Others we find and connect with because of our caregiving role. Listen in as Allison and Justin dig into these different types of relationships.

One of the few things we can count on in this life is death and yet our culture is not good at talking about or preparing us for it. In this episode, Justin and Allison speak with Jane Whitlock, an end of life doula and former spousal caregiver, about her role, the stages of death, and the questions we can start asking and conversations we can star…

There’s no question that the life of a caregiver is hard and that feelings of disappointment, comparison, and unfairness can be pervasive. So how do caregivers move through their days as they deal with the weight of it all? In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about how to keep going even when everything is terrible.…

When someone in our life has an acute injury or medical situation, it makes sense for us to focus solely on their needs. But when an illness becomes longer-lasting or chronic, caregivers need to find ways to balance the needs of their loved ones with their own. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about why that can be challenging, ways that ca…

In January, Allison was with her mother-in-law through her final days on earth. In this episode, she talks about what that was like and shares how the experience of being present during the days of hospice and in the moment of her death has changed her perspective as a caregiver.

Aisha Adkins, who cares for both her parents, joins Allison and Justin to talk about her caregiving journey, as well as her work with Caring Across Generations supporting other caregivers. aishaadkins.com Caring Across Generations

There are many reasons people may hesitate to claim or use the caregiver title. In this episode, Justin and Allison dig into why that may be as well as talk about the benefits and challenges of doing so.

Some caregiving roles are brief, but many, like the ones Justin and Allison are in, end up being long-term. In this episode, they talk about what part acceptance plays in being a caregiver. They discuss questions such as: At what point do we need to accept that our lives are forever changed? What is the benefit of acceptance? How can supporters hel…

Caregivers experience multiple kinds of grief on a regular day, but at the holidays these feelings can be exacerbated. In this episode, Allison and Justin discuss the various forms of grief that may emerge this time of year, what caregivers can do to get through this season, and how supporters can help.…

Caregivers often say that they aren’t seen. But what would it look like to be seen? What is it that they wish for? In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about times and ways that they have felt either unseen or seen in their caregiving roles and the implications of each. In addition, they provide a number of simple strategies that supporters can…

Justin and Allison both have good news in their caregiving lives to share, but that news came at a cost. In this episode, they talk about how it's often after the event or the test results are in that the caregiver has a chance to process all they've just been through, but it's at that same moment that the world wants to celebrate and then move on.…

Life is full for everyone, especially caregivers. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about ways to eliminate, delegate, or simplify daily tasks.

Everyone experiences feelings of resentment, but caregivers have extra reasons these emotions might creep up. In addition, they have the layer of feeling as if they shouldn't feel this way and that they definitely shouldn't talk about it. Listen in as Justin and Allison discuss how resentment shows up in their lives, what it might be telling them, …

We often equate rest with sleep, but as caregivers and humans, there are other ways we can and need to find rest throughout our days. Listen in as Allison and Justin talk about how they've seen this play out in their own lives and how supporters can help.

Comments made to caregivers can range from insensitive and hurtful to validating and supportive. In this episode, Allison and Justin highlight quotes shared by listeners while talking about how powerful words, or the lack thereof, can be.