Forgiveness

Curious Cat

I hope you and your people are well. It's been a helluva month, hasn't it? I'm glad to see the end of it. Like a Clint Eastwood movie, my August was good, bad and ugly. It's consisted of some serious physical and emotional work and in order to not hide in a hole, but face the work, I painted my toenails purple. It's not a color I'd normally pick, but the wild shade helped me to focus only on the present moment, not let my brain drift ahead. I wanted to be present and purple toes were my gentle reminder to do that.

The good? We celebrated my mother's 80th birthday at a Seattle Mariners game. It was lovely and I don't think I've laughed as hard as I did while razzing my mom with my big brother Garth during the game. We all laughed. Mom said later that night, it'd been therapeutic. It was her first birthday without her partner of over four decades. After she boarded the plane for a baseball tour of the west coast, my priorities shifted to helping my youngest move across the country.

Part of the work I was doing is to help my youngest relocate across the country, and in the process earned my IKEA master builder's PhD. I wish that was a real thing, but it's not. What's very real are my emotions during this process. I've been an empty nester technically for two years but moving to a place I can't get to in a matter of two hours is different.

There's been something about the process of moving out for good that has helped my youngest assess her growing up times. I dont' want to speak her story, but I've been doing the same and as she shares something I did that hurt her or caused her pain, we've worked through it. That's a helluva lot of crow that I've eaten, and a whole lot more forgiveness on her part. I've had a similar process with my older one, too.

When past traumas were shared with me, it was my egoic self that made fists, fighting to remember my side, recollect my state of mind at the time, my justification of those actions or inactions. You can't see, but I'm shaking my head right now. I was pathetic. What a waste of energy.

Show Sources and Materials:

How Forgiveness Rewires the Brain with Vishen Lakhiani: (audio)

https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/forgiveness

CAT Scan Study of Forgiveness

https://tricycle.org/magazine/power-forgiveness/

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-power-of-forgiveness

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it

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