The 4 Stages of Self-Awareness

Everyday EQ

In this episode of the Everyday EQ podcast, Julia walks you through the four stages you'll go through as you develop your self-awareness. Self-awareness is *the* cornerstone of emotional intelligence, so this is a must-listen if you're serious about this whole 'mastering yourself and living your best life' thing. Follow along and take copious notes, as Julia packs in lots of lessons, revealing self-awareness exercises, and juicy examples, like what to do when that coworker fires off yet another nasty email.
:40 - Why self-awareness is the first place to start with developing your emotional intelligence
1:43 - A quick personal anecdote about how Julia started developing EQ by understanding others' emotions and how that tripped her up, getting her into unhealthy relationship dynamics

3:18 - To all the empaths/codependents/people-pleasers in the house (aka, anyone who focuses on others' emotions/needs at the risk of ignoring their own): It's your time.

5:26 - To everyone else: Self-awareness loves you, too.

6:14 - In other words, self-awareness is for anyone who wants to become the best version of themselves.

6:28 - On with the show... Introducing the four stages of self-awareness as outlined by Julia

7:03 - Stage 1: See all emotions as data

8:14 - No such thing as "negative" or "positive" emotions. All are valid and useful.

9:36 - Uncomfortable emotions and where they originate

10:26 - The difference between a surface emotion and a true emotion

11:34 - And now on to our comfortable emotions and where they come from

12:25 - The type of data our comfortable/uncomfortable emotions are telling us

12:53 - The irony of looking at emotions as data, but ALSO, it helps you externalize your emotions, which is key to developing self-awareness

15:49 - A simple exercise to kick-start your self-awareness training

17:08 - Stage 2: Know your desired feelings

17:20 - Sidebar: If you want to rearrange these stages in a way that works for you, absolutely do it. EQ is a tool that works because it's unique to YOU.

17:48 - Back to Stage 2... Why it's important to have awareness of your DESIRED emotional state

19:34 - Knowing your desired feelings gives you back command

21:21 - So how can you figure out your desired feelings? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE DISCOVER YOUR TOP 5 NEEDS WORKSHEET

22:35 - The benefits of doing this exercise: Clarity, awareness around your internal motivators, and understanding why you've *really* been doing what you've been doing

23:54 - Sometimes we try to satisfy our emotional needs via unhealthy dynamics. Whomp, whomp. No sweat, EQ will help you learn to shift to healthier ones.

24:49 - Breakthrough, anyone?

26:21 - Stage 3: Be emotionally prepared

35:25 - The life audit exercise: Knowing where you AREN'T getting your needs met in your life

28:19 - This new information will inform what steps you will need to take to align these areas of life and have them satisfy your top 5 needs

28:41 - What it means to be emotionally prepared

29:44 - [Host's note: Love me some Scorpios]

32:14 - Stage 4: Identifying real-time emotions

33:20 - What is an emotional trigger and what's going on when it happens to you (the dance between the ego and the true/emotional self)

36:22 - How you're gonna handle triggers from now on since you listened to this podcast, went through Stages 1-3, and developed your self-awareness like a boss

37:01 - Three options for how to process a triggering situation without losing your ish

40:20 - Recapping these three options

40:55 - One more exercise to do if you need to quickly diffuse a trigger and label your true emotions in real time

43:35 - That's it! The four stages of self-awareness recap