Tax consultants don’t wear pink with Marie Louise Ashworth

Jo & JJ Go Mental

This week, Jo and J.J. are joined by Marie Louise Ashworth, President of The Network, a network of female entrepreneurs and professionals in Luxembourg. The Network is devoted to developing a supportive community of women and helping them build resilience, avoid burnout, and thrive as they meet their personal and professional goals. Marie Louise is also a committed mentor for young women and startups. She talks with Jo and J.J. about how to maintain our individual character while working in a corporate setting, the importance of community, and how she got on the other side of her own burnout.

Takeaway:

[3:44] Marie Louise had her own experience of feeling burnt out, lost, lonely and isolated. Like both Jo and J.J., she believes that the more we talk about it, the better.

[5:36] Like Jo, it took a life-changing experience for Marie Louise to decide to change her life and get support for her burnout. She shares a harrowing plane experience that made her face her own mortality and realise that she needed to get help. We often ignore the signs our bodies are giving us, and part of mindfulness is taking care of yourself before it becomes a crisis. The more we can give ourselves permission to take a break and a rest when we need it, the more energy we can have to be better in our personal and professional lives, as well as to help others.

[11:54] J.J. believes we should get rid of the word “lazy” altogether, and instead not have so much shame and stigma around just taking a much-needed pause. For example, when you are training with weights or in the gym, it is encouraged to have rest days to let the muscles regroup. The same is true for our brains and stress levels as we work long hours and lead a busy life. The challenge comes when we start to equate taking a rest to being lazy.

[13:00] Noticing and naming emotions is a large part of mindfulness, and catching ourselves before it becomes a crisis. Society may tell us that the only good days are the productive ones, but it’s only once we unpack our beliefs and emotions that we can tell the truth and start to implement healthier patterns that create sustainable and positive change.

[18:29] Yes, menopause can certainly affect our hormones and how we feel, but we also must track and observe our thoughts and patterns. J.J. discusses how clients are often reluctant to give up certain behaviours, even if they have identified them as destructive because they have gotten them through a crisis. The more they make space to implement new Emotional Intelligence skills, and push through the awkwardness, the more they can start to choose behaviours that work in their favour.

[21:08] Through The Network, Marie Louise and her team help women learn some of the interpersonal skills to help them survive and thrive in the workplace, such as emotional regulation. The Network also provides monthly sessions and events, mentorship, and accountability partners. The focus is very much on personal growth, equality, and inclusion.

[31:39] How can we accept our true nature in a corporate environment, and is that even possible? J.J. and Jo discuss each of their experiences with trying to embrace their individuality but running into expectations and limitations at their workplace. For Jo, when she got told she wore too much pink, her mentor explained there was a certain expectation of a tax accountant and how they should look — and it was more ‘grey suit than pink coat’. While we all need to be accepted for who we are and what we are capable of doing, sometimes you have to play the game and show your worth first; when you have done that, no one will care about the pink coat.

[38:06] There is still a game to be played, but it’s how we play it and with what intention we play it with. We can start with the grey suit and show how good we are, but it is important to keep our self-esteem intact. There is a better way to get around in the world, but you have to have resilience which takes mindfulness of validating your own experience so you can be honest with yourself.

[45:53] It is common for an individual to have a crisis each decade, but no one talks about it and people tend to blame their environment. The anger that comes with stuffing down their emotions can lead to anxiety and panic attacks.

[48:57] Has going virtual during the pandemic helped dispel the notion that we have to wear boring gray suits to be good at work? Time will tell, but leaders showing up to work with pets, pyjamas, and children, may have been a good start.

Connect With Us:

Joanna Denton | Dr. J.J. Kelly

Marie Louise Ashworth - LinkedIn | The Network