Are We Mad Or What? Featuring Pauline Carville

Jo & JJ Go Mental

This week, we are joined by Pauline Carville, TV presenter, theatre director, and highly regarded singing teacher in Belfast. Pauline talks about her commitment and passion towards mental health, her decision to get help for her own struggles, and how the process made her a better performer and artist overall. Pauline talks about meeting her husband Robert Elliot, who now joins her co-presenting The BIG Show on NVTV. She also talks about adapting her play, Am I Mad or What? into a book, and how that experience helped her process deep emotions and get through to the other side. All three women talk about how we can show up playing a role in our everyday lives, and how to recognize when that is happening so we can stop, get the help we need, and show up authentically for ourselves and others.

Takeaway:

[2:23] Pauline offers high-quality singing lessons in Belfast, she trained and graduated as a singer and singing teacher from the prestigious Royal Academy of Music under the mentorship of the renowned Vocal Specialist Mary Hammond and X Factors’ Vocal Coach Annemarie Speed. She also trained as an actor at the Royal Conservatoire Scotland.

[2:30] Pauline is very passionate about mental health and is an advocate for being open about emotional and mental health struggles. She opens up about how the sudden passing of her own father affected her at age 14. This was a very distressing experience, and she was frightened to fully talk about the depression and anxiety it caused her because she was afraid of the stigma and possible consequences. J.J. adds that gifted misfits that are very talented but feel tortured and tormented often hide their sadness and try to bury it. For Pauline, she thought she could tuck it away and try to use the emotion as an actress, but she found that risking her own mental health was not worth the brilliant performances.

[8:02] While on holiday in Belgium, Pauline also witnessed the attempted rape of a member of the family she was staying with. This pain already added to the depression she was feeling, and a protective wall went up in order to survive. This wall can only serve us for so long until it becomes a cage in our adult years.

[14:38] The best actors and actresses need to have the emotional intelligence to know the difference between performing on and off stage. Pauline speaks with Jo and J.J. about the theatre classes she gives and points out that it’s often difficult to get adults to delineate between the two, but the youth are less challenging because they are more open and adaptable. J.J. also needed to take a break from acting because she found that actors and actresses were just living a mirage of life rather than really being in the moment as a regular human and not a performer. For Pauline, singers are really spectacular because they have a lot of depth and it’s the type of thing one can’t fake.

[20:06] Becoming a TV presenter was a new exciting experience for Pauline and found it a great way to learn about others, inspire them with the way she shows up in the world, and let down her barriers for the world to see.

[21:48] We don’t have to just be actors to play a role in our lives. Jo played the role of a super self-confident tax consultant that could make everything interesting.

[24:25] Pauline speaks about the process of writing her book, Am I Mad or What? and getting through a few of the more painful chapters. She had moments of depression, pain, and heartache, but it was good for her to feel the emotions and get them out in her conversational and open style.

[34:16] The more we can accept the weirdness and flaws in ourselves and others, the less suffering we would have overall in our society.

[34:50] Pauline talks about the evolution from her play to the book, and how she benefitted from having her husband Robin beside her. Robin listens to her and hears her for what she really has to say, and this gives her a safe space to create and share her work while getting feedback from someone she deeply respects. The two work together brilliantly, minus the occasional row about lapel microphones.

[38:02] Pauline speaks openly about her first marriage, and the different strategy she took when getting back on the market.

[43:48] Everything Pauline does is under the umbrella of being good for her overall mental health. She has learned to not overschedule herself, take breaks, and put herself first. After years of fighting it, she has now learned to listen to her gut and let it guide her through life.

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Pauline Carville

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