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Young Adulting in a Family
Manage episode 318413696 series 1443450
Topic: How does a family adjust to someone becoming an adult?
Developmental realities, independence and angst
The reality of Young Adulthood – How do I access independence?
A Story: getting your first cold and/or changing your major in college
Tip 1 – Celebrate small things of young adulthood
- baby steps
- reminds us we are capable
- telling each other you are capable = part of family life
Tip 2 – be mindful of the stages of parenting
parenting changes over time and with developmental levels of kids
- article from Berkley calls the last state a “guide” https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/three_ways_to_change_your_parenting_in_the_teenage_years
- making decisions for small children, to making decisions but offering choices, to making decisions with your child, supporting decisions alongside your child
Tip 3 – be interested in one another as people
- find some new rituals and traditions as well as new ways to connect spiritually
- 4 areas to grow as family members grow – emotions, routines, freedom, and conversations (licensed family therapist online)
Article: https://imperfectfamilies.com/grow-up-with-your-kids/
- Gottman “Creating Shared Meaning” and “Rituals of Connection”
https://www.gottman.com/blog/create-shared-meaning-rituals-for-the-family/
Dave’s bonus tip for parents of YAs – “take opportunities to be chill”
Heidi’s bonus tip – “believing in eternity means I don’t have to be worked up about this moment”
Tip 4 – transition takes effort and energy and is worth effort and energy
- relationship is made of vulnerability and boundaries
Family members of YAs –
consider what you want and what’s realistic
respect their voice and freedom
check ins with low expectations
YAs seek help, communicate needs
set boundaries, lead the way in defining your boundaries
love your family as people not what they do for you
Short answer: relationships need to transition as life transitions
100 episodes
Manage episode 318413696 series 1443450
Topic: How does a family adjust to someone becoming an adult?
Developmental realities, independence and angst
The reality of Young Adulthood – How do I access independence?
A Story: getting your first cold and/or changing your major in college
Tip 1 – Celebrate small things of young adulthood
- baby steps
- reminds us we are capable
- telling each other you are capable = part of family life
Tip 2 – be mindful of the stages of parenting
parenting changes over time and with developmental levels of kids
- article from Berkley calls the last state a “guide” https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/three_ways_to_change_your_parenting_in_the_teenage_years
- making decisions for small children, to making decisions but offering choices, to making decisions with your child, supporting decisions alongside your child
Tip 3 – be interested in one another as people
- find some new rituals and traditions as well as new ways to connect spiritually
- 4 areas to grow as family members grow – emotions, routines, freedom, and conversations (licensed family therapist online)
Article: https://imperfectfamilies.com/grow-up-with-your-kids/
- Gottman “Creating Shared Meaning” and “Rituals of Connection”
https://www.gottman.com/blog/create-shared-meaning-rituals-for-the-family/
Dave’s bonus tip for parents of YAs – “take opportunities to be chill”
Heidi’s bonus tip – “believing in eternity means I don’t have to be worked up about this moment”
Tip 4 – transition takes effort and energy and is worth effort and energy
- relationship is made of vulnerability and boundaries
Family members of YAs –
consider what you want and what’s realistic
respect their voice and freedom
check ins with low expectations
YAs seek help, communicate needs
set boundaries, lead the way in defining your boundaries
love your family as people not what they do for you
Short answer: relationships need to transition as life transitions
100 episodes
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