A New Way to Look at Perfectionism

Season of Stuck

In this episode of Season of Stuck, Deanna and today’s guest, therapist and author Katherine Morgan Schafler, take a deep dive into all things perfectionism. During their conversation, they explore how perfectionism can lead to feelings of being stuck and differentiate between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism. Katherine also introduces five types of perfectionists and emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and seeking help for perfectionists. They also discuss the power of reframing negative narratives, embracing perfectionism as a strength, and fostering emotional understanding and support for personal growth.

Tune in to learn about:

• Perfectionism as a complex personality trait rather than a simple flaw
• How perfectionism—when unchecked—can lead to a desire for control and create barriers to happiness
• Healthy and unhealthy perfectionism
• The emotional gaps perfectionists can feel between their current reality and their perceived potential
• Self-compassion as a crucial tool for overcoming the negative impacts of perfectionism
• The five types of perfectionists,—and the strengths and weaknesses of each
• How perfectionists can reframe the narrative around asking for help
• How changing your internal dialogue can help you change your feelings and perceptions around perfectionism
• Maintaining connections with yourself ( and others!) as a way to combat feelings of being stuck
• How to reframe perfectionism as a strength

Thoughts from the episode:

“Perfectionism is not the problem. The problem is how you respond to your perfectionism.” –Katherine Morgan Schafler

About Katherine Morgan Schafler:

Katherine Morgan Schafler is a psychotherapist and the author of The Perfectionist Guide to Losing Control, a book that challenges the way we look at perfectionism—and how perfectionists look at themselves —by redefining what it means to be a perfectionist and embracing it as the strength it can be. Schafler’s work helps people identify, understand, and work with their perfectionism in a way that works for them, not against them.

Connect with Katherine Morgan Schafler:

On the web:

Katherine’s website

On social media:

Instagram: @katherinemorganschafler

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Chapters

1. Introduction to Perfectionism (00:00:00)

2. Poll on Perfectionism (00:01:34)

3. Manifestations of Perfectionism (00:01:58)

4. Perfectionism as a Roadblock (00:03:41)

5. Reframing Perfectionism (00:04:55)

6. Katherine's Background (00:05:29)

7. Universal Nature of Perfectionism (00:06:09)

8. Curiosity About Perfectionism (00:07:37)

9. Emotional Aspects of Perfectionism (00:09:00)

10. Personal Experience with Control (00:10:12)

11. The Gap of Potential (00:12:37)

12. Control and Safety (00:14:47)

13. Ambition and Perfectionism (00:16:32)

14. Individualized Perfectionism (00:17:45)

15. Self-Compassion vs. Shame (00:20:31)

16. Redefining Perfectionism (00:22:43)

17. Self-Compassion Framework (00:24:01)

18. Perfectionism as a Strength (00:25:10)

19. Understanding Perfectionism (00:26:00)

20. The Five Types of Perfectionists (00:28:48)

21. Classic Perfectionist (00:31:07)

22. Procrastinator Perfectionist (00:32:09)

23. Messy Perfectionist (00:33:22)

24. Intense Perfectionist (00:35:24)

25. Parisian Perfectionist (00:36:30)

26. Contextual Perfectionism (00:37:38)

27. The Need for Help (00:41:21)

28. Types of Support (00:44:04)

29. Reframing Asking for Help (00:47:02)

30. The Impact of Language on Feelings (00:48:41)

31. Advice from Future Self (00:49:06)

32. The Importance of Connection (00:49:37)

33. Finding Support in Future Self (00:50:14)