Deploying Tactical Empathy with Chris Voss

The Evolving Leader

In this episode of The Evolving Leader, co-hosts Jean Gomes and Sara Deschamps are in conversation with former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss. During his 24 years in the FBI Chris changed the game in negotiation from one of stoicism to one of tactical empathy, persuading kidnappers, terrorists, and bank robbers to see things his way, saving countless lives in the process. Chris has translated his high-profile experience and synergy of collaboration and empathy into his negotiation consultancy The Black Swan Group, where he and his team of expert hostage negotiators apply negotiation skills in business contexts to help their clients make better deals, develop new relationships, and uncover valuable pieces of information the other side is hiding.

Chris is a household name on the Masterclass platform where he’s garnered a following for his accessible courses that teach everyone how to better communicate using behavioural science and human nature. He is also a successful author - his book Never Split the Difference explores how everything is a negotiation, and how anyone can use FBI negotiation tactics to solve problems, get what they want and resolve conflicts in all aspects of their life.

Referenced during this episode:
The Edge negotiation newsletter: https://www.blackswanltd.com/the-edge
The Black Swan Group: Blackswanltd.com

Other reading from Jean Gomes and Scott Allender:
Leading In A Non-Linear World (J Gomes, 2023)
The Enneagram of Emotional Intelligence (S Allender, 2023)
Social:
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LinkedIn The Evolving Leader Podcast
Twitter @Evolving_Leader
YouTube @evolvingleader

The Evolving Leader is researched, written and presented by Jean Gomes and Scott Allender with production by Phil Kerby. It is an Outside production.

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Chapters

1. Introduction (00:00:00)

2. What’s the origin of your fascination with negotiation? (00:04:36)

3. How does tactical empathy differ from the conventional approach to negotiation? (00:05:36)

4. In terms of your understanding of empathy, how did you come to understand yourself and your ability to be empathetic towards others? (00:07:34)

5. You talk a lot about connecting with authenticity and trust based influence. Can you talk a little about how you create this? (00:09:14)

6. Have you seen a situation where the outcome is completely different because you adopted that? (00:11:13)

7. Is there ever a situation where the stakes are so high that you would consider that the safest route to be telling the hostage taker a lie? (00:15:51)

8. During a complex negotiation, how do you negotiate the added pressures that come from facing a diverse mix of cultures, backgrounds and motivations? (00:17:16)

9. What’s the mix between the process that you have mapped out and the necessary improvisation? (00:20:13)

10. How are you listening to your physical body during these high pressure moments? (00:21:51)

11. Can we talk about the role of fear when you’re in a negotiation? (00:24:40)

12. How do you do this in the most difficult situations where fear might be overwhelming? (00:30:06)

13. How does your work help leaders get better in their jobs? (00:32:26)

14. What have you discovered in terms of accelerating trust and how can leaders increase trust in relationships and within teams? (00:35:49)

15. Are there any situations that leaders might find themselves in where they could start to flex their negotiation muscle? (00:39:01)

16. Where in the world is there the greatest need for tactical empathy? (00:42:29)

17. Is Black Swan Group being brought in by leadership teams to help them understand competitors and customers using this lens? (00:45:03)

18. ’ve mentioned before when a counterpart asks for win-win, this is actually a red flag. Can you expand on that? (00:48:10)

19. So when somebody makes you that offer, what do you do to keep the process moving forwards or do you just shut them down? (00:51:00)

20. What have you learnt about your capacity to listen? (00:54:22)

21. What next for you? (00:56:46)