FF: Marriage Lie: People Don’t Change

The Generous Husband

We’ve all heard people don’t change, only change in small ways, or only change when faced with extreme situations. All of these are lies, and double-edged lies at that. When we buy into these lies, we treat others as if they won’t change, giving them an excuse to not change. The truth is, people do change:

• We have a friend who tells me he was a Type A personality for much of his life. I didn’t know him then, and based on who he is now, I can’t imagine it. He had a job only a Type A could have held, and his wife assures us he was that person. He changed because he didn’t like who he was and what he was doing to his family. This man changed from the far side of Type A to very much Type B.
• I have gone from a neo-legalistic to who I am today; from being all about “law” to a balance of law and grace, with an emphasis on the grace.
• My wife, and many others we’ve talked to, went from “I could live just fine without sex” to “I can’t imagine a life without sex”.
• There are plenty of people who have gone from alcoholism to decades of sobriety, from chain-smoking to years without cigarettes, from daily porn use to not even wanting to look at porn, and from morbidly obesity to skinny (5′ 7” Richard Simmons weighed 268 pounds when he graduated from high school!)

Drastic changes may the exception, but they prove it is possible. Less drastic changes are common. The bottom line is people can and do change. You can change if you put your mind to it. Your wife can change if she chooses to do so. You can each do things to help or hinder the other changing, but ultimately it is a personal choice.

[This post first appeared Aug 22, 2012.]

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.

The post FF: Marriage Lie: People Don’t Change first appeared on The Generous Husband.