Episode 11: Wesley Hamilton, Disabled But Not Really (https://disabledbutnotreally.org/)

The Just A Mom Podcast

Introduction: In this episode of the Just a Mom podcast, host Susie welcomes Wesley Hamilton, a Kansas City native known for his personal struggles, foundation work, and TV stardom. Wesley reflects on his upbringing as a product of his challenging environment, growing up without his father, and battling low self-esteem and negative thinking. He shares how he once believed he wouldn't live past 21 due to societal expectations for young black men. Becoming a father marked a turning point, but an altercation led to a life-altering shooting incident, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down. The episode explores Wesley's journey from hopelessness to resilience.

Background and Upbringing

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  Wesley describes his upbringing as a product of his environment.
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  Grew up in a single-parent home without a father figure during crucial adolescent stages.
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  Struggled with self-esteem, lacked positive role models, and felt the impact of the inner city environment.
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  Admits to being influenced by older figures in the streets and developing a negative mindset.
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  Believed he wouldn't live past 21 due to societal expectations for young black men.
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  Highlights the challenges of growing up in an environment that limited his perspective.

Living Recklessly and Seeking Change

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  Discusses the allure of the streets, drug dealers, and the desire for a better life.
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  Emphasizes the lack of positive influences and role models, leading to a misguided pursuit of success.
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  Reflects on his disregard for education despite having potential and smart capabilities.
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  Talks about dropping out of school, attempting to change his life through Job Corps, and facing challenges.
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  Expresses the impact of poverty and the absence of exposure to life outside his community.
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  Discusses the negative mindset, feeling trapped, and the influence of media representations.

Becoming a Father and Pivotal Moment

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  Becoming a father at 22 and gaining full custody of his daughter at 23.
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  Highlights the unexpected shift in responsibility and the desire to be a better father.
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  Recounts a verbal altercation at 24 that resulted in a life-changing event.
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  Describes being shot twice, instantly paralyzed from the waist down.
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  Shares the immediate realization of the severity of the situation and the surreal experience.
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  Recalls the moments after being shot, the lack of hope, and the acceptance of impending death.

Living with Depression and Hopelessness

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  Reflects on the possibility of living a life in depression and hopelessness.
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  Acknowledges the lack of hope and role models contributing to a sense of resignation.

Mental Struggles

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  Wesley reflects on his mental state before the shooting, feeling hopeless and battling low self-esteem, influenced by societal judgment and a lack of empowerment.

Facing Reality

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  Wesley discusses the early days of realizing he was paralyzed, the initial hope of a miraculous recovery, and the emotional toll of the uncertainty during the recovery process.
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  Exploration of Wesley's loss of hope and faith after learning about the permanence of his condition, the absence of positive representations of people with disabilities in society, and his struggle with self-love and acceptance amid societal judgments.

Suicidal Thoughts and Lack of Mental Health Support

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  Wesley opens up about contemplating suicide, the struggle of feeling like a victim after surviving a violent incident, and the lack of mental health support for individuals with disabilities, particularly in the black community.
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  Surprising revelation: Wesley did not receive counseling or therapy during his recovery. Discussion on the systemic issue of mental health support for black individuals with disabilities and the layers of challenges in addressing mental health in marginalized communities.

Self-Healing Journey

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  Wesley's self-healing journey the role of food in his mental recovery, overcoming depression through dietary changes, and the challenges faced during bed rest and their impact on mental health.
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  The importance of protein and nutrition in Wesley's recovery, the lack of awareness about proper nutrition in marginalized communities, and Wesley's decision to pursue education in dietetics to transform his life.
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  Wesley's eagerness to learn and change his perspective on life, the revelation of the value of food and its impact on well-being, and applying newfound knowledge to his diet and seeing positive results.

Coming Up:

In the next part of the series, we will explore Wesley's continued transformation, his advocacy work, and the valuable lessons he has learned from his remarkable journey.