880: The Patriarchal Lie of Work/Life Balance

The Shameless Mom Academy: Motherhood, Motivation, and Mindset Tips for Busy Moms

Work-life balance is not a thing. Not only is it not a thing, but the idea of it is founded on a lie. It is an idea and philosophy that the Patriarchy feeds to women as something to be desired, something to be attained, something to aspire to.

As feminism has evolved over the last few decades, many of us have been told that, “This is your time! Finally, women can have it all.” Sounds great in theory. But we have been given no resources and no support. But without resources, support, and systemic restructuring (philosophical and logistical) there is no way for this to be lived. It’s an idea and a lie that allows the Patriarchy to look like they care. Cute, huh?

We have been conditioned that because we can have it all, we should go after it all. And then once we go after it all and fill every millimeter and pore of our metaphorical plates, we should also keep it all balanced in some picture-perfect mathematical ratio - as if our lives are as simple as some sort of formula or squeaky clean quadratic equation.

We are told if we have better balance, we wouldn’t be so stressed out all the time.

We are told if we have better balance, we will be better moms and our kids will be more likely to thrive.

We are told we are lucky to live in an era where we can work full time (if not more) and also parent full time - cramming 48 hours of work into every 24-hour day.

Because we are told this lie is true and possible, we are left to feel inadequate, guilty, and resentful when we cannot figure out how to make it work.

When we are working, we feel guilty that we aren’t parenting. When we are parenting, we feel guilty that we aren’t working.

If you feel like you don’t have a work-life balance, it’s because there is no such thing. You are not the only one who feels inadequate in your constant journey toward this farce. Millions of us are standing beside you. And, we are tired too.

This Greatest Hits episode is an invitation to exhale, see a new truth, and give yourself permission to start living in a reality that allows you to release all feelings of failure and inadequacy because they were never yours to own.

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