Disasters Resulting From Not Communicating

The XY Code

I recently read a story about a woman who went on a social network like Reditt to seek confirmation she had acted reasonably. She had been married six months. Before the wedding, she was on the pill, but went off right after they married. They were using condoms, and hubby didn’t like it. So he talked her into an IUD. She did the research and went to a consultation with her Ob/Gyn. The doctor said if she could go home and fall asleep, she could sleep through the worst of the cramping. So she had a place all set up on the couch with everything she would need. But when she got home it was all put up. Her husband had, as she put it, “Gone home during the procedure just to mess with my stuff”. He dumped the water and put the glass away. He put up the snack. He folded the blanket, and put her PJs in the dirty clothes.

As she screamed at him, he said he thought those things were left from before. She crashed, then he woke her to ask what she wanted for dinner. He was not asking her to make dinner, he was asking what he could get for her. And she yelled about how she just wanted to sleep, and he had messes that up.

There’s a lot there, but what I see front and centre is a total lack of communication. He had no idea what her plan was. I’m not putting that all on her. She didn’t tell him, so he should have asked.

If you share a home and don’t communicate, you will have problems. If you share both a home and a life, failure to communicate is even worse.

By the way, this husband twice tried to do something helpful and got anger in return. I would expect he will stop trying to be helpful.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and communication avoids problems.

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
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