Episode 23 - Your Mindset Matters! - Betsy Clark

Let‘s Talk HR - Humanizing the Conversation

Speaker, coach, artist and all-around amazing inspiration. Betsy is also a seasoned business owner and understands business and life. If you are looking for tips on self-discovery this may be the person to take a listen to. She focuses on Mindset and accessing your brilliance.

Leighann Lovely 00:15

Let's Talk HR is a place for HR professionals, business owners and employees to come together and share experiences and talk about what's working and what's not. How we can improve best practices so that companies can better attract, train and retain all generations of workers. We all know that there has been a huge shift in what people want. generations are coming together more than ever, on what's important. Mental health has been brought to the forefront of everyone's mind. Let's humanize these conversations. Let's talk about how the economy has been impacted and what needs to happen to find a balance. I'm your host Leighann Lovely. So let's get this conversation started. And remember, if you enjoyed this episode, follow us like us and share us.

Leighann Lovely 01:05

I've been so excited to have this conversation with Betsy Clark. She's just an amazing woman. Betsy has been a successful entrepreneur for 43 years her mission is to help women let go of feelings less than or who are tired with struggling you have done the work yet you cannot identify or access your brilliance Betsy breathes life into women's businesses and helps them leverage or monetize what's right with them supporting women to live more fully focusing on what they need to quiet their mind chatter. So they can hear the whispers of their heart living out her tagline your mindset matters. Her current business as a mindset Chaplin transformation partner parallels her work in interior design, it just expresses itself differently. Previously, she created beauty with paint. Now she uses words, Betsy supports women to find their voice communicate their value, and stop doubting themselves so that they can flourish in both life and business. She encourages, empowers and equips women to step into their brilliance, and be a leader worth following. Betsy has lived in Colorado Springs for the past 30 years, with her husband and dogs. She and Archie are truly happy campers. They travel frequently in their truck camper to play with their kids and grandkids to soak up the beauty of Colorado and the Wild West.

Leighann Lovely 02:42

Betsy I am so excited to have this conversation with you today. I've had the opportunity to talk with you previously. And wow, I'm just very excited. So thank you for coming on and talking with me today.

Betsy Clark 02:53

Thank you, I am so excited. I've just been out of town and I I really rearranged it so that I could be here with you. And I'm really looking forward to our time together.

Leighann Lovely 03:04

Yeah, and you travel quite a bit.

Betsy Clark 03:07

I do I do COVID sort of cramp my style. But I have been traveling a bit, I am bound to go out and get this message out about how you can show up as your best self and show up authentically and really understand what's right with you. Instead of that, ah, what's wrong with me. Yeah, how can we shift that?

Leighann Lovely 03:27

Yeah. So tell me a little bit more about yourself, you know, where, where? Where is this message developed? And, you know, tell me, you know, a little bit more about your passions. So,

Betsy Clark 03:38

I've been an entrepreneur for over 43 years, I started when I was four. And I bought a business when I was 23 years old, I bought a franchise in an industry that didn't really exist at the time. And it was called weight loss. And so you can tell I'm older than dirt, and this was in the 70s. And so I was a diet coach. And then I left that business because I sold my business because I got pregnant realized I couldn't work at the level I was working at with little infants. And then my husband and I went into interior design. We did specialty wall finishes and wood finishes. So I became a color coach. So you're starting to hear that there are some commonalities, and I've been an athlete and an athletic coach. So I had an accident, and I realized I couldn't do Interior Design anymore and be on scaffold that was two storeys high. And I walked away from the family business and I didn't know what I was going to do. I thought, wow, I have to reinvent myself. Well, I have learned since then we don't reinvent ourselves. We reinvest in ourselves, and it's just another chapter in a way that's authentic to who we are and So my friend and I were walking and I said, you know, I don't really know what I want to do. I'm not sure what this next chapter is. And she said, Okay, and this is the power of a powerful question. She said, Betsy, what's your favorite nickname? Well, I got the Rolodex going, Okay, it's sugar blossom. It's honey, pot pie. It's all but no, it's none of those words, what's my favorite nickname? My favorite nickname is coach. And she said, well, then yeah, you're gonna be a coach. And it was that simple. It was that simple. So my whole life, I've been a coach, and I needed a community and someone to reflect back to me, this is how you show up, this is who you be. And that's why I'm so passionate about what I do. We were never designed to do life alone. We need each other. And so that's what I am, I am a support to women in business. And I'm the queen of perspective giving. And so that's who I am and what I do.

Leighann Lovely 06:01

That's awesome. And, know it's, you know, I've talked to so many people throughout this, you know, this journey of podcasting. And the one thing that is consistent through every time I've, you know, talked with somebody on, you know, what was the a pivotal moment, or what was the, you know, this or that, how did you decide, and it's, it's never Oh, I was sitting alone, and I was staring at this, it's always, I had a conversation with something, somebody, and they made a suggestion, or they had a comment, or they it's, it's never, I was, you know, alone. It's always, nope, it is never, and it's, it's consistent through every single person I have spoken with. And it is 100% true to exactly what you just said, we don't go it alone. And even when you decided what you wanted to do, yes, it was your decision. You know, we it's everything is ultimately comes down to your, you know, your choice in the directions that you go in this and that, but it always comes from a conversation, or a suggestion, or a simple, you know, communication. And often it comes from, you know, an organic conversation over coffee, or over a glass of wine or over food or. And that's, that is just, it's so amazing, amazing. And that's the reason that coaches are so powerful for so many of us, because being able to sit down with somebody and say, Okay, I have all of these ideas swirling through my head, or I want to do something, but I just can't figure it out. Somebody like you, who is now what I think it's for 12 years now you have been that what the the founder, the coach of coach to strengths. Yes. And that is what you, you help you help people do that you help them love a lot. So tell me a little bit more about specifically as to how that all started in the world when of when it began.

Betsy Clark 08:13

And it began. So to go back to your point about we've never done it alone. It is Brene Brown has this great quote, We are hard wired for connection. And I love that I think that speaks to what you're talking about. We have to do life in community and coming out of this pandemic and being isolated, has really gotten people. I think some of us have lost our social chops and our community chops. And we are so anxious to get back into community and to be meeting belly to belly face to face. And so I think that's an important piece that speaks to why I do what I do. I I am the youngest of four. I come from a very close knit family and all that sort of stuff. And I guess I was the youngest everybody else was so much more advanced. And I was always comparing myself to everybody else, which is a setup. Because they were older, they were more mature, they had more skills. But I really held myself back because I was subjected to the mind monkeys that were telling me I wasn't enough. I never measure up. You're just like all that negative self talk. And so when you see someone who is a coach and you see them pick their modality, they're really telling you a lot about themselves because the journey I have been on has been since I was 16 years old. You know who in their right mind. Read Psycho Cybernetics at age 16. Well, I did because I knew that it all began with my mind you So I pitched myself as a mindset chaplain to thinking, What the heck is a mindset chaplain? What? What is that? Right? Did that poke? Did that go through your head? Like, what you talking about?

Leighann Lovely 10:13

Yes, yes, absolutely. And in your in your bio, you know, I kind of introduced you as, mindset chaplain, I believe. And it's, yes, I want to dive into what what is that?

Betsy Clark 10:28

Okay, so here's what I love is marrying the head to the heart, so that you're integrated so that you follow your heart and use your head. And you trust your gut. Because that's integrated, that's you showing up in an integrated fashion not divided, you have clarity, because you understand what your strengths are, what your values are, what your purpose is, what your mission is, you know, those kinds of things. So how do we marry all those things? Because some of us, you know, all we do is we live in our head. Or we're all heart. And we can't think or self out of a paper or wet paper bag, right? And other people wearing debt. What's that? Isn't that just below my stomach? Any mic? We're disconnected, but think about can you imagine if you had all three of those playing well together?

Leighann Lovely 11:28

Right? I mean, you're absolutely. If you're only leading with your heart, you're, not going to be able to logically put things together. If you're only leading with your head, you're going to lose the empathy, you're going to lose the. And I think that a lot of businesses, that's what they're lacking, right? Right, the empathy piece, it's, it's becomes too logical. And everybody in the business then becomes a number. Right? You have to have you have to have a mix of of, I'm sorry, the third one. They've got the guts. And I guess that's the one that's that's the one that I struggle a little bit with here. So

Betsy Clark 12:19

yeah, well, okay, so here, here's the thing is I lost my thought about that. Why have you had me? Well, what are you struggling with? You know, here's the thing is that God is your intuition. Right. One of the reasons I became a Gallup certified strengths coach was, I was afraid that I was going to be too squishy. Because when I started as a coach 15 years ago, took me a couple of years to get my chops up to start a business. Everything was so squishy, and there wasn't the certification. There weren't any guidelines that we had to follow. And it's like, what are you doing? You're just selling air? And so yeah, that would be great. I get all these people that follow their heart, but how do you get it actionable? How do you how do you deliver on that? And so I wanted something that was backed by science. And so this assessment looks at what your strengths are, what's right with you? Because because I came from a place of living in comparison, I could tell you there is a list this one of what was wrong with me, because I never measured up to anybody else. But no one ever sat me down and said Pat's you know, you know, you're really strong in in strategic you. You've got this Rolodex going in your head, you come up with options, with your hands tied behind your back. But here's the dilemma. Again, here's the thing is, because I think this way, I make a huge assumption that you think that way to where we are right? Yes. Yes, we all think everybody thinks the way we do. That's why we have goat rodeos when we miscommunicate because we think we don't you think that way? What do you mean, you don't understand me?

Leighann Lovely 14:14

This is every fight that I've ever had with my husband. I'm like, wait, what do you what do you mean, you weren't thinking the same way? I was thinking and he's going, What are you talking about? And I'm like, Oh, right. This is human nature.

Betsy Clark 14:26

Right! Bingo.

Leighann Lovely 14:28

But we're all wired completely different.

Betsy Clark 14:31

I mean, like one in 11 million has the same strengths. lineup that I do, like one in 11 million. Are you kidding me? No wondering miscommunicate all the time. I'm making assumptions. There's something called a suicide. Ca with that, right? When we make assumptions and we kill communication, we kill community. We kill connection because I guess You know what I mean? And then I continue the conversation. And I think what's wrong with Leanne? Which she Oh, well, you know, all that stuff. I'm assuming things that aren't accurate.

Leighann Lovely 15:10

And how do you fix this? How do you go into a conference? So you and I are sitting down and we're talking about something and I am making this as... What did you call it?

Betsy Clark 15:20

Assumicide? Assumicide kills intimacy? It kills intimacy.

Leighann Lovely 15:24

Right. So you and I are sitting down, we're having a conversation, I am assuming this assumicide, I'm creating a assumicide. Am I using that properly? Okay.

Betsy Clark 15:33

Yep. Yep.

Leighann Lovely 15:35

How do you at what point do you sit back and go, Wait a second. I need to clarify. I mean, is how do you how do you fix it? Because, again, at what point in my brain Am I gonna go wait a second? I don't think she's getting it.

Betsy Clark 15:52

It's a perfect time to say, Wait a second. That's trusting your gut, my friend. Yes. That's trusting your gut. Okay. What are you discerning what? What is your gut telling you? Something's not not jiving here, right. And so then you stop and ask, wait, am I communicating when I think I'm communicating? Tell me what you heard me say. Because I have a sense that we're not, we're not on the same wavelength here. See, that's why I love strengths. Because if I got 10 backs for every time, one of my clients over the last 1214 years is said, that's a wait, doesn't everybody think that way? And I, I get to be the one that says no, they don't see, here's, here's an example. My I'm high in strategic, my husband is high in context, or I'm high in activator. So I'm like an action girl. I jumped in, I think, then I, then I Oh, huh. How do I get here? My husband? I'm like, I'm a I'm a jack rabbit. Right? My husband is high in context. And he is he has to look at the history of the past, he has to check in where he is in the future. And right now, and what does that mean for the future? Right. So he does this timeline. So we slow as molasses. So we're in the midst of getting wood floors in our living room? Well, I had this great idea four years ago, let's put wood floors in the living room. Well, he had to think about it. And his first reaction was no baths, we can't do that. So I finally, you know, after I'd gone through my strength training became a certified coach. I said, Why are you always saying no to me? Do you not trust me? And he said, Wait, what? Why would you ask me that? And I said, because every time I ask you something, your first reaction is no. So I went through the Gallup training, I understood what context meant versus activator. Here's the way we changed it. Now I say, you know, I'm considering this, I'm considering getting wood floors in our living room. And it's going to probably cost X amount of dollars. And I think the reason we should do this, because we have grandbabies, and we don't want them to be on gross carpet, right? Why don't you consider that and then get back to me. Interesting. I gotta tell you, now, that's the way I get anything to move a little bit faster, and have his buy in, I'm not manipulating its buy in. And I shared this story from stage and this woman came up and she said, that's the most offensive thing I've ever heard. Oh, boy, what did you said you manipulated your husband? I said, No. Well, maybe I did. Let me ask him. So I called I, I just worked with them. I worked with his context and how he thinks, and I said, Archie, did you feel manipulated? He said, No, I felt known.

Leighann Lovely 19:12

And I've I've heard so I believe that everybody needs to one way or another be managed. My whole life. My Dad has figured out how do I manage my daughter, right? My daughter has bipolar disorder. She understands and sees the world different. Now, I knowingly at this point in my life. I'm 41 years old, I was diagnosed at 20 years old. I knowingly understand that there are certain situations in my past that I remember wrong. I don't remember that. I don't remember them right now. I remember them. And I submit to the fact that I was a healthy brain experience. mincing situation. And now I have an unhealthy memory of that situation. Correct. So my dad and I have openly had conversations with Leanne, I've, I figured out how to manage you appropriately to get you to do what needed to be done while you were still in a very unhealthy situation. Correct. That was that there was not manipulation happening. There was not, it was a management of how can I get her to a place of health, right? So let's suggest things that she needs to do knowing that if I tell her she has to do it, she'll have a negative reaction. People manage people all the time. I think in the same situation, you've you figured out your husband's style, and you're not manipulating you're in a way of managing his personality type. And in turn, I'm sure that he manages yours because my husband, I'm a jackrabbit, my husband says, Hey, I think that we need to do this. And I go, okay, and I go do it. And he goes, I didn't mean that you needed to do it now. And I'm like, oh, oh, why not do it. Now I have time. Like, if it needs to be done, I'm an action orientated person. That's period. And I know, it is a great thing to be when you are a salesperson that needs to get, you know, sales happening, right? It is a very bad thing to be when you are a wife, to a husband, who is the opposite. Because it drives him insane. And I and I love him to death. But I know that I drive him crazy in certain aspects. Now, on the flip side of that, I'll say to him, the fan in the bathroom is broken. And it takes a couple of weeks for that fan to be replaced. For me, I'm like, Oh, the fan is broken. Okay, let me run to Menards I'll get a new one and replace it. That's not how he works. Because it's just it's just not his brain. You know, if I, when I hear something, I go, okay, needs to be done needs to be read. But sometimes it's to the detriment, right? Right. My daughter needs attention right now she wants to play and I'm, I'm on the mission of, oh, I need to go fix this. I need to go fix this. And my husband is going, what do you do? Go play with your daughter? Oh, right. Yeah, of course, I'm in the middle of doing something else. So he manages me where he won't tell me that something needs to be done. He'll tell me when he knows that I have time to do it. Because he knows that the minute I know. I go do it. Now. Is that manipulation?

Betsy Clark 22:56

I don't think so.

Leighann Lovely 22:58

No, I don't I do not think that it is manipulation. Anyway, manipulation would be when I think of manipulation, I think that it's something that you're doing, get someone to do something that they otherwise would not do.

Betsy Clark 23:12

Right? Right, for your gain

Leighann Lovely 23:15

For your gain, Correct. But when you understand the strengths and other people's personality, or the weaknesses, and other people's personalities, it's okay to help them either plan those strengths, or be better at those weaknesses, right?

Betsy Clark 23:35

Or, to delegate. What is not in their strong suit. See that, to me is where teamwork, and we're getting back to how we started this conversation. So if you look at your top five strengths, and they're like a star right here, your top five strengths, and I got mine, instead of trying to be a well rounded individual, because we've been told we need to be a well rounded individual. What happens is we, you know, like we're always defensive, and we're kind of like in this posture, because we're not doing stuff Well, right. But what happens if you're five strengths, and my five strings really work in concert, we come like this, like cogs of a wheel, and we move a bigger thing, and you're shining in your brilliance and I'm shining in my brilliance, we can move a much bigger thing than trying to squeeze the life out of something and squeeze a flow out of it because we should be able to do this. And I'm so sick and tired of women shitting all over themselves. I should do this. I should do that. You know what? Delegate it, right? Delegate it. Use your strengths and what your area of genius and brilliance is. And make the money and make the end pack that you can there because when I start, you know, squeezing down the life force of everything I do, I'm blocking a blessing. Because there's someone like I, my assistant, she loves doing my books, she loves my numbers, she loves the little, you know, dotting the I's and crossing the t's. I say, God love you go do it, girl. Good. Anya, I need that because I need to be coaching, I need to be writing, I need to be out speaking, not doing those things that I'm not fashion for. I understand my business, I understand what my numbers are. I haven't abdicated understanding or control of those things. But I don't focus on them. Because my strengths are very different than her strengths. Does that make sense to you?

Leighann Lovely 25:55

Absolutely. And it's something went off in my head, something that my dad said to me, and I refer to my debt, my dad was my greatest is my greatest mentor that I have ever had my hero really, and will forever be brilliant businessman ran an office of 60 agents in the real estate industry for 6040, you know, went up and down for for many, you know, 40 years. And one of the things that he said to me was you don't have to be great at everything, you just have to be smart enough to hire somebody who could or can be great at doing what you're not good at. And I'm like, oh, okay, well, if I ever own my own business, or I ever get to a point where I need somebody, you know, and that's something that I think a lot of business owners, or a lot of small business owners don't realize that once you get to that thresholds, you know, you can delegate it out, you don't have to hold it all close to the chest that if you want to be able to level up, there's that point at which you have to let go. Or you're never going to grow. Right. Right. So It completely makes sense. You know, play to your strengths. And again, this also comes back to if you are really strong at something, do we do we should we be out there working on our weaknesses? Or should we just play to our strengths?

Betsy Clark 27:20

Oh I got an answer for that, when so. So here's the thing. When we are working on our strengths, it's counterintuitive. I feel like we manage our strengths to go back and use your word. But when we try and fix our weaknesses, we get into that fixing mentality. And the truth of the matter is, in my humble opinion, the only thing that needs to be fixed are stray cats and dogs, people do not need to be fixed.

Leighann Lovely 27:50

And that really goes and falls in line with what I've grown up thinking which is play to your strengths.

Betsy Clark 27:58

Right and, and so here's the thing is there's there's a continuum of your strengths, you can be immature in your strengths, and you can be very mature. And so I show my clients what that can look like. So if you use a scale of one to 10, and the tipping point would be 5.6. If you use that, that measure, you check in and you say okay, I'm high and strategic, am I so over strategic that I'm getting into, you know, paralysis, analysis, paralysis, and I'm strategizing too much I'm not acting, that would be strategic. That's probably immature and you know, not disciplined. So, teaching my clients what that spectrum looks like, you can check in and say, Oh, on a scale of one to 10 strategic is running the show, and she's running it at about a 3.5. How do I take it from a 3.5 and move that to a 5.6. So I get to the tipping point. So strategic is really a beautiful strength and I can leverage the credit out of it to get the results that we longed for. So I'm not saying that your strengths are going to be the end all there's going to be a variation in that but what I do is I teach people to look at their top five strengths like an amplifier, you know, I don't know if you remember stereos and amplifiers and turntables and all that sort of stuff. I'm dating myself that shows you how old I am.

Leighann Lovely 29:38

No, no, you right now in the other room in my house. I have all of that equipment, my husbands a DJ.

Betsy Clark 29:48

okay, but you get it. Okay. So think about that. There are five knobs on that amplifier. If you think about that as being your strengths, amplifier. It amplifies your strengths, right? So that it's juicy goodness coming out of you, right. But your your husband being a DJ doesn't just blast everything up to a tan. It's nuanced. You have to, you know, you have to adjust for the song for the environment for the occasion for whatever mean, it's not everything like Spinal Tap the movie that mockumentary everything's in 11. But it's dialing. So if I'm going in, and I'm going to make a report to board members, I'm going to nuance my strengths differently than if I'm going out to a happy hour with my girlfriends. Right? Right. So we're not just a one trick pony that just comes with everything to attend. It's learning the nuances and how to leverage yourself and be to be effective, and to be integrated. That makes sense to you.

Leighann Lovely 31:02

Absolutely. Absolutely. It's wild. I was having a conversation with somebody, actually, earlier today. And he asked me, he said to me, what do you think about people being promoted? And then failing? So somebody, for instance, and the conversation kind of went like this, a sales professional or a producer, who is just outstanding in their role, and then being promoted and failing? And why is that happening? And you know, my answer was, well, often we find our greatest strengths, and we enter into that field. And people see, you know, and I'm speaking from a salespersons point of view, and people see that, wow, they are so great at selling awesome at selling. But then somebody assumes that because they're so great at it, they would have the ability to train or teach or lead. But that's an assumption, based on the fact that they're capable of doing it doesn't necessarily mean that they're capable of leading or training or showing others. Right. Right. So I guess, you know, my follow up to that is how, how do we identify the strengths in those individuals? How do you identify the leaders?

Betsy Clark 32:31

So So I think that there are two separate things going on here, you there's the Strengths Assessment, and I would advocate that you work with a coach because it just it's a report on a piece of paper, how many times I've heard people say, Oh, I took that StrengthsFinder thing. And if they got it all wrong? Well, it's because you don't understand the meaning of the words and the training that goes with it to excavate the, the juicy goodness within the report. But there's another thing and and I'm reading a great book, it's called trust and inspire by Stephen Covey. And he supports what gallops training is on being a leader worth following. And that's really what I teach in my inner circle is I teach women how to be a leader worth following. Because here's the deal. Just because you self proclaim yourself a leader doesn't mean you're a leader. And it doesn't mean you're a good leader. Because in order to be a leader, you need to have followers, right. And most of us don't have followers. So here's the way I look at this as if it's you, our understanding of ourselves and how we think impacts every aspect of our life. So if you don't really understand what your superpowers are, and what your strengths are, you're just kind of grabbing it saying, Oh, well, that, that sounds good. We don't internalize it and saying, Hmm, how's that going to impact me? And can I be effective in that? So I worked with clients and I have them just sort of that that inner itch of inadequacy and not enoughness. We just settle that and we talk about, you know, when access your inner swagger all what you bring to the table and understand what you need in order for you to be sustainable, and to be effective going forward. So we kind of get that your your itchiness about, am I or am I not out of the equation that settled? But then we talk about what are the things your followers need? Because, you know, here's the deal. Our leaders have been in control and command and they intimidate they yell, they tell us what to do all that sort of stuff. And we need a new kind of leader now And research shows that we need to have four pillars when we lead and it's about our Our followers, we need trust. We need compassion, we need hope. And we need stability. And this is research way before the pandemic. And if we ever needed those four attributes and characteristics, we need them now. And, and to inspire people to step into their potential trust is so necessary for us to innovate. Because how we do business now is very different from how we did business even three years ago. And so I am on a mission to help women step up into leadership, and to be authentic, really good leader just gonna say something else. Really good leaders and all their leadership. I mean, here's the thing is I, I have these Grace cards, which I will make available if anybody wants them. But it's how to leave power with grace, or leaves with grace. I mean, grace is a very big thing. It is so winsome and compelling. And it lets people we know, know that they are seen, they are known and they are heard, we need grace. More than anything business, we need grace and leadership. And the time is now and can you tell I'm starting to sweat over here, I'm getting excited.

Leighann Lovely 36:29

Oh, it's hands down, absolutely, we need, it's never been more important for people to feel like they've been heard, feel like they've been seen. And for people to actually go into a company and feel like they are not a number feel like they are appreciated. I don't understand how companies don't get that if you could create an environment in which you go to work, employees feel empowered, they feel like they are part of something greater than just walking in and creating a widget, it doesn't have to be glamorous, if you more than ever, people want a purpose. And it doesn't. For some, it doesn't matter what that purpose looks like, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if their purpose is making. Like I said, widgets, if they feel like that purpose is making that company great. And making you know, the organization do well. And they feel that love coming from the top down. And they see the actual managers and they see the higher ups walking around and telling them thank you for doing a great job, that company is going to be the one that actually flourishes, they're not going to have the turnover rate that, you know, some of these organizations out there, and they're not going to be coming to me going man, why can't we keep people on the floor? Um, you know, and I feel sometimes like, like, I want to hit him over the head and be like, Why do you think you have? There are some companies out there where I will mention it to a candidate and they'll go, oh, I don't want to work there. And I'm like, why? Well, in our industry that is known as being the worst place to work, I would never go and work there. And I want to go to that company and be like, Do you Do you know what your reputation is? I mean, do you have any idea what your reputation is. And as a as a company, if you get that reputation, and everybody who is in your industry knows you as the shittiest place to work, you're done. You're never going to be able to employ great people, you're going to get the bottom of the barrel, and it's going to take forever for you to dig out of that. You at that point become you're at risk of, of never bouncing back. It What do they say? It takes one bad review, to spread like wildfire. You know, everybody loves to like the bad reviews. You could you could destroy your reputation and not have enough employees working at your organization. If you continue to treat your people like shit. Yes, but if you go when you start treating your people great, and everybody's talking about oh, yeah, I love working there. It's it's an awesome place. Does it spread as fast? No, it does not. Because again, like I said, everybody loves to spread crappy news for some reason. Yeah. But you become the place that everybody wants to work at. And you continue to keep that reputation going because you're treating your people great. You're you're going to have a happy, healthy workforce that doesn't want to go anywhere. And you're going to do great in this marketplace. I just as somebody who has been in the industry as long as I have been in the industry, in staffing and in HR, I don't understand why, you know, companies don't get that, especially the smaller, you know, midsize organizations, it's like, Come on, get your shit together, and start treating them like and I know paying the highest wages, and I'm going on a complete and total rant. But this is this is where my passion is, start treating your people, you may not be able to pay the highest wages, but start paying your your people the best you can offer some, you know, insurance, and if you can't afford insurance, then offer them you know, a little stipend, there are new plans out there where you can put you know, it's like an HSA. Except it's not I can't remember what it's called. But I learned about it just recently, where they you know, you can give them money towards an insurance plan, have outings, again, get togethers, have the upper management, and this is extremely important. Upper management needs to be there, they need to walk the floor, they need to talk to their employees, they need to show their face. Because those employees who are working floor who are doing the most important thing for your company, which is making your products, right, they pretty much look at you as the guy who's driving the you know, the really expensive car in the parking lot, that doesn't give a shit about you. Right. And if you're not present, that's what they think about you.

Betsy Clark 41:21

Well, and so I think that goes back to the four pillars they need, your employees need to trust you. They need to know that you have compassion. You know what? My kid got COVID in I can't come to work for a week. Okay, let we're going to work around this. I mean, I know that there are boundaries and their policies and procedures and all that stuff. There has to be compassion, you know, maybe you create a meal train for that employee for a week. I mean, what does it cost you? Not much, and what it returns the return on that investment is priceless. What about, you know, stability, you know that you're gonna have a job when you come back? What about hope it's painting, things are gonna get better in the future. And you can trust that. I mean, at the end of the day, we're talking about culture. And we're talking about how to inspire, okay, the Latin root of that means to breathe life into. So walking the floor, and knowing the people on the floors name that breathes life into them, and it gives them hope it gives them purpose, it gets to Hey, I know why I'm doing this. Because the head guy knows that my kid just had COVID. And he was the one that or he was the one who okayed the meal train. I mean, like, I know, this sounds really stupid. And, and that's what you're missing the point. But these are the kinds of things that change the culture that bring people to work every day with a benefit mindset, instead of a negative mindset that, that one bad apple can ruin a whole department. When you have a benefit mindset. It's a win win. mindset. Everybody wins. Right? And that's how you make any impact.

Leighann Lovely 43:23

Yeah, absolutely. And I have, I've walked into amazing companies that I mean, you walk in, and they have state of the art that they have a professional chef that cooks lunch every single day for their employees. And that's included, it's free. You walk into an org, and this was a small company, I'm not talking about like a monster company I'm talking about this is not a really large and I'm like, seriously, I'm gonna come work here. It was like professionally made meal fresh every day. And it's in it's paid for and the employees can come in, they get their meal, they but there are different ways that you can show your appreciation, investing back in your business in small ways investing actually, in your people. Again, I don't know how many times I can say it, and how many times you can say it, I can say until I'm blue in the face. The greatest asset in any company is your people, your people. And time and time again, I see companies who are cutting every corner, cutting every expense when it comes to their employees. I'm like what do you what are you doing? You're shooting yourself in the foot that wheeling you or you're making it so that your your company cannot produce or cannot get the the product out the door, which means that you're going to have to have people working overtime, you're going to burn out your current staff and they're gonna leave

Betsy Clark 44:49

87% of the people who leave their job, leave because they can't work with their manager.

Leighann Lovely 44:57

Right. And that's it Leadership Training, put your employees through leadership training, put your son into a coach. So this is all circling back to what you do and what more companies absolutely need. Because you're right, you're absolutely right. And you know what there I have left companies, not because I did not adore the company, the upper management, I've had great relationships that. But when it came to my direct manager, I had no choice I had to go. And and even though I stayed beyond my time, and I tried to work and I tried to make it work, it came down to, there was one bad apple, one bad manager that just made made my life miserable, or made the lives of other people miserable. And the fact that a lot of companies don't even do exit interviews anymore. You're not even attempting to fix it.

Betsy Clark 46:01

Right? You're so but here, this, this whole thing, what we're talking about is trust. It's trust, right? You know, Stephen Covey did another book, The Speed of Trust, and when trust is high, costs go down, and efficiency goes up, when trust is low, costs go up and production goes down. And the truth of the matter is, the teams that have to always be talking about trust, are the teams that don't have trust, if you're on a team that, that they you trust each other, and you have open communication without a suicide. They don't talk about trust, because they got it. They they flow in it. And it's juicy, and it's great. But trust, trust changes everything, everything,

Leighann Lovely 46:55

Absolutely human connection, trust, comfort. If you have an environment where somebody can walk in and say, you know, I need to talk to you I'm, and again, you're not going to have this conversation with a manager you don't trust, I'm struggling, I, you know, have this going on at home, my daughter needs this or my husband needs or I need this, you trust your manager, you're gonna be able to have an open honest conversation about what's going on with you. And you're not going to you're not going to be ashamed about that. Otherwise, if you don't, you're just going to call in and say I'm sick. I mean,

Betsy Clark 47:30

and and if, if I can, you know if you can help me work remotely, while my kid has COVID, right, you trust me to get my stuff done in a timely fashion. But if you're micromanaging, and you're controlling, and you're commanding people leave, but how can we do the trust and inspire? How can we create an environment where we can have that connection, and we can breathe life into one another? Because it's a two way street. You inspire me when you meet our quotas? Thank you, you make me look good. I'm so grateful. We're meeting our quota and beyond. Right. And the employee is going Thanks for trusting me and knowing that I can work remotely with my kid who's got COVID Thank you, that inspires me, I will work harder for you, in the days, the months, the years ahead. Because I know you've got my back,

Leighann Lovely 48:29

you know, and it's interesting that you say that, because I I've talked to many people who are like, well, you know, I don't I want to have a remote. I want to offer remote. But I don't think that people are working as many hours. I don't think that, you know, I want them to be on site so that I can monitor the hours that they're working.

Betsy Clark 48:48

Micromanage.

Leighann Lovely 48:50

RIght, Right! But statistically, and I don't have the statistics, and it's been a long time since I read them. And statistics showed that people were working more hours and harder from a remote role than they were on site. And the reason the reasoning behind that was they eliminated their commute time. They eliminated you know, all of that stuff in the middle. So they were able to get to their desk earlier because now they're not sitting in the car for you know, at what I would say that the average commute time is anywhere from 20 minutes to 45 minutes. So now they're not sitting in the car, they've got that much less time away from their family, because you're not really working an eight hour day if you're adding in all the commute time. Right? I mean, you're actually away from your family for a minimum of of nine to 10 hours, or I should say away from your home. Because you commuting

Betsy Clark 49:50

Well, and the other piece is you know, I am unemployable. Let's just face it, I really am. And you know when I worked in a large organization I had to keep my door closed because I was in a leadership position. A good part of the time, people would just come by, you know, and they'd go to the coffee and they'd have a cup of coffee. And they weren't even on my team. And they just stand in the doorway and kvetch, and I'm going, Oh, please, are you kidding me. And it isn't that I don't want to be friendly. But when I have a deadline, I want to be able to get her done. And so what's happening is when you're working remotely, you don't have as many distractions and meetings and the minutia that, you know, being on site can in and there's the flip side, we do need connection, I get that, right. But how do we marry those two things so that it supports efficiency and effectiveness? And so I think that there's, there's a place for both and how do we weave those things together? So that we're accomplishing what we set out to

Leighann Lovely 50:57

Right, my partner in my day job works in California, I talked to her constantly, we have teams, when I have a question for her, I can either message her on teams, or I can just video call her and be like, hey, it's, it's like she has an office next to me. Right? It's there is a constant line of communication. Is it the same as being in person? Absolutely not. Do we need in person connection and communication? Absolutely. Yeah. But we have we have discovered over the pandemic, that communication does not necessarily have to happen in person, you can be you can work from anywhere and be just as productive. Now, I know that people like the and again, I when we started going back into person and having in person meetings again, I was thrilled because I am a extrovert through and through. And Betsy, I know that when you started being able to go out and do speaking engagements and all that I'm sure that you were probably over the moon right away, get back out there. I was, but again, I am I am 100% An advocate of the remote or hybrid, you know, environment because it has opened the door for so many people to have the ability to be or have a work life balance. Now I also I don't know. Have you ever heard of the show alone? No. Okay. So it's this show a new reality TV my husband and I watched for I think he still watches that they drop these like, major like rip like survivalist people like hardcore survivalists in the middle of nowhere. And they're by themselves, they have basically nothing, they have to make shelter for themselves. And these are harsh territories. They have to make shelter for themselves. They have to find food for themselves and blah, blah, blah. But that's not even the hard part for them. They are dropped in complete isolation. Oh, complete isolation from the human world. And the majority of these people. It's it's not so much the hard work because they're all hardcore survivalists. Many of them, the first thing that happens is, they go practically crazy because they can't talk to anybody. Yeah, there are we as humans, going back to how we started this, we thrive. We need human connection. Yeah. It is. It is the way that we were designed. It is a trait it is a it's in our DNA. Yeah. But there are so many different ways that we can have that human connection.

Betsy Clark 53:52

Right. So what was your takeaway on this call? Wow.

Leighann Lovely 53:56

So much.

Betsy Clark 53:58

Sorry, I'm a coach. I just I know,

Leighann Lovely 54:00

I don't even know where to begin. You know, there's a lot that we talked about that is really reconfirmed many of the things that my Dad who obviously I mentioned earlier is, you know, had said to me over and over, but there are a lot of things that that just kind of blew my mind. I would love to see you speak I I'm very interested in the modality

Betsy Clark 54:29

of strength Strength Finders,

Leighann Lovely 54:30

Yes, that is widely in the four pillars that you had talked about. But I'm also really interested in the kaleidoscope in your headshots.

Betsy Clark 54:40

Can I Can Can I take a few minutes to just explain that? Yes, please. Okay, so here's the kaleidoscope. So being a mindset chaplain, it all begins and ends in our mindset, right? So I want you to play with me and I want you to pretend you're looking Through the kaleidoscope, and I want you to take a snapshot of the image of the color and the light and the symmetry and all of that, this beautiful design. And then I want you to take the N piece and turn it a quarter turn to the left. So what happens?

Leighann Lovely 55:18

It changes

Betsy Clark 55:21

The picture changes right? Okay, so I want you to play with me. So now, I want you to go back a quarter turn in the opposite direction and get that same picture.

Leighann Lovely 55:33

It's not going to happen.

Betsy Clark 55:35

Well you can't do it. So here's what's so fun is when you have a shift, the whole picture changes. And you can't go back. And that's the power of working with someone who will guide you in shifting your mindset so that you change your beliefs. Because here's the deal. You would never what year were you born?

Leighann Lovely 56:02

1981.

Betsy Clark 56:04

Okay, you would never use a computer from 1989, would you?

Leighann Lovely 56:13

NO

Betsy Clark 56:15

It's laughable. But you know what, Leighann? That's exactly what we're doing. We're using an outdated operating system. Because we're going back to how we were conditioned. And all of those things about comparison, I talked about that with you. It takes with like, we're wet cement, right? They ever seen the sidewalk of wet cement? Yeah. And something comes in makes a deep impression. And that's what our mindset is when we're between five and eight or nine. And it can take a lifetime to fill those deep impressions that are lasting that former worldview. And we fill them with the right things. And so if I were using an operating system from when I was five or six, I would think I was the dumbest person on the face of the planet. Because that's all I ever heard is pecha. You're so stupid. And boy, are you ever sensitive? Well, the truth of the matter is, those are my strengths, I'm really high in empathy. And that's one of my superpowers into I upgraded the operating system. And I'm using a paradigm that serves me that's accurate, that's updated, so that I can go out and do what only I was designed to do. So that you can go out in the fullness of your Lian Ness, and go out and make an impact because you've upgraded your operating system by a very simple process of shifting your perspective. Now, once you've done that, you can't go back. And that, my friend, is why your mindset matters.

Leighann Lovely 57:58

That's awesome. And we all we all need to do that. Yes, especially now, especially now. And that in that plays truly into the reason that I have started. The reason I originally started this podcast, so many people out there have had to hide their true identity in fear. So many people, and I'm not just talking about people, some, many of my longtime listeners are gonna go, Oh, she's talking about mental health. I'm not just talking about the mental health aspect. No, I'm talking about people who have children, people who have, you know, things going on at home who were taking care of loved ones. For so long. They, you know, people thought that they had to walk into work and leave all of that crap at the door in order to keep their job. That should not be that way. We shouldn't have to become a different person. When we walk into our jobs. We all have baggage, we all have a life outside of work. And we should be able to work with people who understand that because they have it to you maybe the 20 year old or the 23 year old who's free, you know, right now live in in the free world didn't, doesn't have to deal with all of the stuff. Of course, right now, unfortunately, half the world is suffering from social anxiety because we all shut down for a million years. So they probably understand just as well as the rest of us that we all have it. We have to stop, we have to stop expecting the employees to leave it all at the door. We should all be able to be our authentic selves. And we have to have a mind reset, we have to have a shift and the way that we think of people. We are not just numbers. We are human with a lot of human emotions and all of the mumble jumble and baggage and emotions and stuff that comes with it and I'll stop there because I like to go On rants

Betsy Clark 1:00:00

well, it I think that's why those four pillars matter, right trust, compassion, stability and hope. We need to bring that here. So here's something that I would I, you haven't asked me, but I'm just going to offer this and you can edit it out if you don't want me to say this. But I have these Grace cards. And I would love to offer this as a free gift to your listeners. And because grace is, this card is about giving yourself permission to love, accept, and forgive yourself. And to have these in your bathroom or on your computer. It's just so powerful, because here's video forgiveness. And the best definition I know about forgiveness is letting go of the past you wish you'd had. So how can we forgive ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves? It's by showing ourselves grace. And when we come from that solid, grounded Place of Grace, we can extend it to others. And I think that's one of the aspects that makes us a leader worth following.

Leighann Lovely 1:01:10

That's awesome. And how would somebody go about reaching out to you to get one of those,

Betsy Clark 1:01:15

I am going to give you the link, so they can go to my website. And they can order them and give me their snail mail address that old thing. And I will put these in an envelope myself, and send a little note of encouragement and send you these as a gift. Because I know that sometimes it can be really hard. And we all need grace.

Leighann Lovely 1:01:41

Excellent. Now we're coming to time, but I want to ask you the question of the season before I release you. So the question of the season is if you could pinpoint a time period in your career that made a huge difference in your life or your career path. When would that be and why?

Betsy Clark 1:02:02

Well, I worked with my husband and my family for 35 years. And I really enjoyed that. I told you I had an accident and had to leave working with as an artist. I went, I told you I got certified as a Gallup strength coach, and the guy that trained me, saw me. And he reflected back to me how my strengths would have shown up as we explored and excavated, what strength meant. And as I walked out of there, I said Kurt, that was better than $20,000 worth of psychotherapy. Because I see me the way I was designed. And it's authentic. It's true. It gives me permission to grow and to learn, so that I can make the impact that it's it's my it's it's my spiritual DNA that I am to be an encourager, I am to be a purveyor of active hope. An act of hope isn't sitting on your couch, twiddling your thumbs waiting for your ship to come in. Hope is saying, You know what, I know, there's a future that's out there. That's good. It's juicy. And it's mine for the taking. I just need to get up off the couch and go get her done. Because the acronym for hope for me is having an optimistic perspective, every day, having an optimistic perspective, every day, because you see, the picture changed. And I see that I am capable of a lot. Because someone breathed life into me, they inspired me to be my best. And that's what I want for my clients. For the women who don't know what the next step is. I'd love to have that conversation with them. And I think that having grace is one of the things that will make a difference.

Leighann Lovely 1:04:09

That's amazing. And, wow, that's amazing.

Betsy Clark 1:04:13

So I would invite people to go to my website, it's Coach, two strengths.com. And it's coach with the number two and strengths, plural, make sure you spell strengths the right way. And you can go and you can see all the different things that you can get as free opt ins or if you feel like you would like to have a conversation with me complimentary just, you know, ask questions and see if if you're primed to take the step to leverage your brilliance and to be that leader worth following.

Leighann Lovely 1:04:50

I mean, I'm going to have your you'll be able to find how to reach out to you on the show notes. So if anybody wants to, you know, find you there there'll be able to click a link to you directly to your website. Betsy thank you. Thank you so much for having this conversation. It has been awesome. Just like the first conversation that we had, and I'm sure other conversations will come in the future because you're just, you are just a bright shining star and I just really enjoyed. Really enjoyed this. So thank you.

Betsy Clark 1:05:22

Thank you so much. It's been a joy. I told you we'd have fun.

Leighann Lovely 1:05:25

Absolutely. Thank you again for listening to Let's Talk HR. I appreciate your time and support without you the audience this would not be possible. So don't forget that if you enjoyed this episode, to follow us, like us or share us. Have a wonderful day.

Website - www.coach2strengths.com

LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/betsyclark55

Grace Cards - https://www.coach2strengths.com/grace-card/

Complimentary Connection Call -coach2strengths.com/connectcallwithbetsy

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