Newcomers Are The Smartest People in the Room

Real Sobriety Podcast

I hope I never get to the point where I think I'm the smartest person in recovery and I can't learn from a newcomer or someone with less time than me.

It is a fairly well known practice for oldtimers around 12 step meetings to tell newcomers to “shut their mouths and open their ears.” That’s what my first sponsor told me all those years ago. I can’t think of anything more disrespectful and potentially damaging to say to someone who is brand new in recovery. The newcomer is fresh off the playing field, maybe better described as fresh off the battlefield of addiction. Their perspective is raw and their need for connection and acceptance from the group is acute.

We can’t proclaim that we are praying for the alcoholic or addict who still suffers and then, when they show up in our rooms, tell them to sit down and shut up.