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Cryptopedia is an exploration of the myths and legends that haunt the human mind. Each week Brandon and John will take you on a journey exploring the mysteries of the world, tackling the tales with a dash of skepticism and an extra helping of humor.
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Every Outfit

Chelsea Fairless & Lauren Garroni

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After spending years dispensing bitchy fashion commentary on their viral Instagram account Every Outfit on Sex and the City, hosts Chelsea Fairless and Lauren Garroni realized that they have highly specific opinions about other things, too. Every Outfit is a weekly show born from our deeply unhealthy, lifelong obsession with fashion and popular culture. It’s like The View (but less geriatric) meets Fashion Police from two best friends who have spoken at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, but ha ...
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On this season of Lipstick Economy, co-hosts Jamie Dunham, founder of Brand Wise, and Melinda Hudgins Noblitt, Brand Marketing Manager at Asurion, will dive deep into the misconceptions of marketing to women and highlight stories of marketing leaders who are making a difference.
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Martine, a 23-year-old artist from New York, arrives in Los Angeles to stay in the pool house of a family living in the hip and hilly community of Silver Lake. Peter, the father, has agreed to help Martine complete sound design on her art film as a favor to his wife. Martine innocently enters the seemingly idyllic life of this open-minded family with two kids and a relaxed Southern California vibe. Like a bolt of lightning, her arrival sparks a surge of energy that awakens suppressed impulse ...
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Big news this week! We finally released merch and John Corbett hates being an actor. We also discuss the Devil Wears Prada sequel, Glenn Close and Halle Berry’s maiden voyage into the Ryan Murphyverse, Julia Fox’s sexuality, Lena Dunham’s New Yorker interview, the Fabulous Four trailer, the extremely major Diane von Fürstenberg documentary, Becomin…
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What's worse than a pigman in the woods? Pretty much anything, if I'm being honest. Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpen8aYQG Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14015340 YouTube (Videos have [questionable] captions!): http://youtube.cryptopediacast.com/ --- Green Mountains, Dark Tales - Joeseph Ci…
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Our little girl is married! We’re back to discuss Lauren’s wedding, an absolutely momentous occasion that the bride barely remembers. Thankfully, Chelsea is here to fill in the blanks. We also discuss Donald Trump’s recent brush with death, this incredibly major photo of the aftermath, his new running mate J.D. Vance, Glenn Close’s iconic makeunder…
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This week we are talking about bears, I mean sloths. Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpen8aYQG Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14015340 YouTube (Videos have [questionable] captions!): http://youtube.cryptopediacast.com/ --- Ground sloth | Encyclopaedia of Cryptozoology Gorp | Encyclopaedia of C…
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Today we’re revisiting a high note of season two “The Chicken Dance,” a.k.a the one where Carrie has to make a speech at a virtual stranger's wedding. Topics discussed include whirlwind romances, unhinged ceramic frog tables, Samantha’s déjà fuck, the illustrious career of guest star Carrie Preston, Charlotte’s “slutty” bridesmaid dress, Donna Kare…
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Today, we are joined by John Willding, an American patriot, devoted husband, and connector of people. As a trusted M&A attorney, John brings a wealth of expertise and experience. He discusses his guiding principles of "Faith, Family, Service, and Leadership" and how these values drive his success and shape his approach in the competitive legal land…
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On today’s episode, we discuss the musical event of the year: The Girl, So Confusing Version with Lorde. We also get into Justin Timberlake’s DUI, the Practical Magic sequel, Lauren’s scandalous new skirt, Kathleen Hanna’s new memoir Rebel Girl, and Andrew McCarthy’s new documentary Brats, and the time that Reese Witherspoon drunkenly fell down the…
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This week Brandon invents a new month-based band (The Novemberists), and John gets buried in the minutia of 4chan. Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpen8aYQG Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14015340 YouTube (Videos have [questionable] captions!): http://youtube.cryptopediacast.com/ --- Horror Th…
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Today we’re revisiting the season five finale “I Love A Charade”, a.k.a. the episode where the ladies head to the Hamptons to celebrate the nuptials of Bobby Fine and Bitsy Von Muffling. Topics discussed include Samantha’s cantaloupe breakdown, the return of Berger, Miranda and Brady’s couples look, the perils of waxing, the pink suede elephant in …
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Hello brats! We’re back to discuss the new Charli xcx album, Sabrina Carpenter and Chappell Roan’s swift ascent, the possibility that Ariana Grande is a furry, the critically panned Amy Winehouse biopic, and John Galliano’s rumored exit from Margiela. Plus: Fiona Duncan joins us to discuss her new Interview article “Normcore: The Oral History No On…
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We're back again, this time with a good old-fashioned hoax grab bag! Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpen8aYQG Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14015340 YouTube (Videos have [questionable] captions!): http://youtube.cryptopediacast.com/ 100 Miles (Skinbone) - https://youtu.be/tesr1OyymXo John's …
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On today’s episode, we discuss Chloë Sevigny and Kim Kardashian’s controversial “Actors on Actors” conversation, Lady Gaga’s Chromatica Ball concert film, and Virgine Viard’s shocking exit from Chanel. We also answer a bunch of hotline calls on topics ranging from Simone Rocha’s Crocs collab to SNL’s 2004 Sex and the City spoof starring Christina A…
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Welcome to the "Best of the Best" show, brought to you by Biles Wilson. Here, we have insightful discussions, expert interviews, and top legal tips from the finest minds in the field. In our debut episode, we interview Ransom Jones, who has extensive experience as a CFO for multiple publicly traded companies and as a director at prestigious financi…
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This week we’re recovering from Lauren’s semi-depraved Bachelorette weekend in Las Vegas, where we soaked up the local culture including the all-male strip revue Thunder From Down Under and Dita Von Teese’s Dita Las Vegas. We also get into Chelsea’s tabi-related foot deformity, this year’s Cannes winners, Bella Hadid’s keffiyeh dress and its ties t…
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After a bit of a scheduling nightmare, Brandon and John are back! This time, they talk about a cherished Manhattan urban legend. Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpen8aYQG Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14015340 YouTube (Videos have [questionable] captions!): http://youtube.cryptopediacast.com/…
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On this week’s jam-packed episode we discuss the latest season of And Just Like That, the insane New York Times article about Rosie O’Donnell and Michael Cohen’s friendship, Charli XCX’s latest music video, Chloe Sevigny’s Dilara Findikouglu Met Gala look, our outfits from our recent show in New York, Sofia Coppola for Augustinus Bader, Sofia’s dau…
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Today we’re discussing Sex and the City’s most perverted episode La Douleur Exquise, which begins in an S&M-themed restaurant and ends with Carrie and Mr. Big’s second breakup. It’s also the episode where Charlotte gets free designer shoes in exchange for PG foot fetish stuff (goals), Miranda dates a public sex fetishest played by Will Arnett, and …
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The Met Gala was this week, have you heard? We’ve officially OD’d on florals, but we’re doing our best to process the staggering amount of outfits that we’ve seen. Topics discussed include Galliano domination, merkin erasure, Zendaya’s double whammy, Sean McGirr’s revenge dress, Isabelle Huppert majorness, a rundown of the various designer cliques,…
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On the plus side, Rosie O’Donnell is appearing on at least one episode of And Just Like That. On the minus side, your girls forgot to rabbit rabbit this month and are probably doomed. Anyhoo, on today’s cursed episode we discuss a bunch of depraved stuff including Barbra Streisand’s Ozempic controversy, the John Galliano documentary, Milo Yiannopou…
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This time, we're talking about paintings and Britain's obsession with crying boys. Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpen8aYQG Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14015340 YouTube (Videos have [questionable] captions!): http://youtube.cryptopediacast.com/ --- List of reportedly haunted paintings - Wi…
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We're still on tour, so we're unlocking a recent V.I.P. episode for your enjoyment! Today we revisit the sordid tale of the Upper East Side’s kinkiest step-siblings and the poor innocent schoolgirls that they lure into their twisted sex games. Topics discussed include Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar’s iconic kiss, the astoundingly good soundt…
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The time has come. Today we’re discussing one of the greatest Sex and the City episodes of all time: The Post-It Always Sticks Twice. This much-memed season six standout truly has it all: Samantha in head-to-toe House of Field, Smith Jerrod on TRL, Michael Showalter as Berger’s douchey friend, Carrie getting arrested, Miranda’s skinny jeans, Charlo…
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This time, John follows the story of the Sykesville Monster through the reporting of the Baltimore AFRO. Meanwhile, Brandon torments his mom. Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpen8aYQG Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14015340 YouTube (Videos have [questionable] captions!): http://youtube.cryptop…
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Karma’s a bitch! And so are we. Yes, your girls are back to discuss Jojo Siwa’s controversial rebranding, the overrated eclipse, J.Lo’s bot farm, the terrifying Amy Winehouse biopic, the sad state of Francis Ford Coppola and John Waters latest films, Rihanna’s Interview magazine cover, Laura Dern’s fucked wig on Palm Royale, and more! Come see us o…
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Giddy up f**kettes! We’re diving into Beyonce’s most high-concept album yet. Is it country? Sort of, but we’re here for the sample of Underworld’s “Born Slippy”. Also discussed: Sex and the City’s shocking arrival on Netflix, Chelsea’s recent excursion to the PornHub awards, Shakira’s piping hot take about Barbie, the new Matrix film, Isabelle Hupp…
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The Aswang is back, and this time, we have CIA sources that tell us the events actually happened. Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpen8aYQG Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14015340 YouTube (Videos have [questionable] captions!): http://youtube.cryptopediacast.com/ False Fang: When the CIA Stage…
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We’re back to discuss some truly shocking fashion news: Dries Van Noten’s retirement, Pierpaolo Piccioli’s departure from Valentino, Alessandro Michele’s return, and Phoebe Philo’s decision to speak to a journalist! We also discuss some new movies: Love Lies Bleeding, Dune 2, and Problemista. Oh, and Euphoria is probably never coming back, R.I.P. T…
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All aboard! Today we’re discussing one of Sex and the City’s rare non-New York episodes “The Big Journey”. Topics discussed include Carrie’s sassy bob, Harry’s back hair, Samantha’s fishbone earrings, Anthony’s love of ugly sex, the pioneering internet celebrity Mr. Winkle, SJP’s vanishing mole (R.I.P.), Erewhon dependency, and more! Come see us on…
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This week, the madness has spread to Cryptopedia as we pit some of our favorite cryptids against one another in a single-elimination tournament. Brandon and John debate over the finer points of blood-draining and soul-sucking in this weird installment of the podcast. Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpe…
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On today’s episode, the ladies reconvene at Lauren’s fire Airbnb to discuss all of the biggest cultural happenings: the Oscars, Carey Mulligan’s incredible outfit, Kate Middleton’s disappearance, Rolling Stone’s Queer Eye expose (Team Bobby!), the feminine urge to buy JVN haircare, Sean McGirr’s universally panned McQueen collection, Chemena Kamali…
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This week, we're unlocking one of our favorite V.I.P episodes. It’s time for part deux of our American Girl in Paris recap! On the series finale, we meet Petrovsky’s enchanting ex Juliet, Anthony coins the term “Chanelo,” Charlotte and Harry get swindled by an opportunistic couple, Samantha and Smith’s sex life grinds to a halt, Miranda gives Ma a …
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The saga of Varginha comes to a close this week. Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpen8aYQG Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14015340 YouTube (Videos have [questionable] captions!): http://youtube.cryptopediacast.com/ --- A história oficial do ET de Varginha - ISTOÉ Independente Varginha UFO inci…
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Today on the pod, things get VERY dark and sinister. Because we watched J.Lo’s This is Me… Now, Where is Wendy Williams?, and The New Look within the span of a single week. Other depressing news includes Claude Montana’s death, The Willy Wonka Experience, Trump’s sneakers, and recent collections from Gucci and Dior. Also discussed: Moschino, Saint …
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The ladies are back to break down a very male forward episode from Season Four, Belles of the Balls. As such, they've invited the caption of the Every Outfit Straight Man Auxiliary (and Lauren's fiancé) Paul Glover to help. Topics discussed include: Carrie's tighty-whities, Aidan's DC lore dump, who is the real Willow Summers, Steve's Warped Tour c…
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This week, John tried to do a short episode, but three hours in Blender had other plans. Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpen8aYQG Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14015340 YouTube (Videos have [questionable] captions!): http://youtube.cryptopediacast.com/ --- The mystery of the Solway Spaceman …
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On today’s jam-packed episode, we discuss everything that went down at the Super Bowl including Beyonce’s shock announcement, the deceptive Wicked trailer, Taylor Swift’s continued domination and her new album The Tortured Poets Department, the AI-generated ad for Jesus, the confusing Kris Jenner Oreo commercial, and Usher’s bachelorette party-adja…
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