show episodes
 
"Living Fully with Dr. Kathy McCoy" is for Baby Boomers and Generation Xers who are seeking to balance their busy lives, enhance their relationships and understand their feelings. In these weekly podcasts, psychotherapist Dr. Kathy McCoy discusses issues such as how to improve relationships with adult children, deal with depression, anxiety and "emotional clutter", how to make marriage work in retirement, come to terms with troubling feelings about aging parents and the aging process itself.
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show series
 
Making the decision to stay or go can be one of the hardest you face -- even with a deeply unhappy, dysfunctional relationship. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses some reasons that people choose to stay in unhappy relationships and the reasons some leave -- and how to make a decision that feels right for you.…
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Do you need an electronic reminder to prompt you to be kind and thoughtful to loved ones? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses our increased dependance on electronics to see if we're sleeping well, moving enough or to find our favorite music. Why not an app for kindness? She suggests that, in addition to relying on our devices, we can tap into our …
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Why would anyone get therapy? This is still a frequent question many ask even though attitudes towards psychotherapy have evolved over the years from disapproval to more acceptance of professional help. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses instances where someone might benefit from therapy, how to find a therapist and how to make sure a particular …
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Feeling alone in a relationship can be uniquely painful. Sometimes it happens when our fantasies of constant, intense love and happiness clash with reality. Sometimes it happens as the result of life transitions and busy schedules. And sometimes it signals serious problems. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses relationship loneliness, why it happen…
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It's not easy, especially for women, to say "No" when they want or need to. Social expectations are that a woman will always say "Yes" to a request. Refusing to go along with another's agenda and living authentically can be a challenge. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the power and importance of saying "No" and how to express your feelings in …
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You may be blindsided or it may not be a surprise at all when your child comes out to you as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or non-binary. You may feel a confusing array of emotions -- from fear of their being hurt or marginalized to grief that his, her or their life may be quite different from the one you dreamed or you may feel mostly love a…
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Coming to terms with the invisibility of aging can be a challenge, especially if you've been noted in your youth for your physical beauty. But there are advantages to evolving into another phase of your life -- and being noticed for other things -- such as kindness, wisdom or strength of character. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the challenge…
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We have very special bonds with our pets, often considering them important members of the family. But many people who don't have the experience of loving a companion animal may show little understanding or empathy when we're dealing with the loss of a beloved pet and that can complicate our grief. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the psychology…
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There may come a time in our lives when our possessions cease to be a comfort and start to become an obstacle to growth, to relationships, to happiness and even to health. Compulsive hoarding is not uncommon and, of course, it occurs on a continuum -- from a bit of unsightly clutter to an uninhabitable home. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses hoa…
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What lessons in love can we learn from the college admissions scandal that has been grabbing headlines in recent months? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the importance of allowing our children to experience the consequences of their choices and actions, to get experience in facing disappointment and going on. Helicopter and steamroller parents…
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What do we do when dreams don't come true? When we do the best we can and still it isn't enough to achieve a treasured goal? In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about the importance of embracing failure as part of the fabric of our lives. Fear of failure can immobile us and make success impossible. Learning to live with failures and imperfections can …
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Women's lives are busier than ever today. In these frantic and divisive times, kindness, caring and building a healthy lifestyle are especially important for our well-being. In this episode, Dr. McCoy interviews Susan Spencer, the editor in chief of Woman's Day Magazine, about how women can bring more kindness, better self care and heart healthy ha…
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What is it like to be childless -- whether by choice or circumstance? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the assumptions we make about childless people -- about their reasons, their motives, their character and their lives -- and why these assumptions often may not to be true. She looks at the reasons some of us are childless and how, nevertheles…
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What's the one worst thing you can do while in conflict with your spouse? Silent withdrawal. It can be an aggressive, angry silence or a conflict adverse retreat from discussion. Either way, it can preclude a resolution and drive you apart. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses how to overcome your disinclination to engage in difficult discussions i…
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There comes a time in life when mortality ceases to become an abstraction and is a daily reality -- as friends pass away, as we reach ages our parents never lived to see. Our health in later life is often a matter of genetic luck and, increasingly of personal responsibility as we seek healthy lifestyles to prolong the healthy years of our lives. In…
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Today, this minute, you can bring light to another's darkness, warmth to their isolation, making a loving connection across the years and the miles. In this episode, Dr. McCoy suggests some of the people you might choose to remember and contact, even if they're not reachable by social media or email. These contacts, these sweet remembrances, don't …
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Celebrities rule, sometimes quite literally, in our society and for those of us who are not famous, an encounter with a celebrity can be a memorable experience. It can be a fun story to tell, a meh moment or a less than pleasant experience one hopes to forget. In some rare instances, an encounter with a celebrity can be a life-changing event. In th…
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Estrangement from an adult child can be a uniquely painful and lonely experience. In researching her recent book "We Don't Talk Anymore", Dr. McCoy discovered some surprising facts about such estrangements that she shares with listeners in this episode. She emphasizes that reconnecting with an estranged loved one can mean understanding why this is …
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In moments of loneliness or nostalgia for the sweetness and passion of youth, do you find yourself thinking of a long-ago love and wondering what it might be like to have a second chance together? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the fantasy versus the reality of rediscovering a long-ago love and what it might take to give your love story a new…
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Have you tried to show your love for your adult child by unasked for advice or motherly truth-telling? And your son or daughter reacts with anger or quiet distancing? In this episode, Dr. McCoy suggests ways to be helpful without hurting, supportive without smothering. She talks about how to say difficult things in a way your adult child can hear t…
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Too many times, as Emily lamented in Thorton WIlder's "Our Town", we don't see family and friends fully, truly, with love and appreciation, every, every minute. But when we do truly see and know each other in new ways, it can be a joy. In this episode, Dr. McCoy shares such an experience from her own life, hoping that this will inspire the listener…
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Gray divorce has doubled in the past 30 years with most happening in the wake of a life transition like an empty nest. Waiting until the kids are grown helps them feel less upset about the divorce and mostly affluent people risk a divorce in their later years. These are some things everyone "knows" about gray divorce. But recent studies have found …
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What can you do when you and a loved one differ on politics or religion? Despite the fact that so many in our country are divided on these and other aspects of our lives, disagreement doesn't have to be hateful, demeaning or dismissive. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses five ways you can disagree and still be united in your love and devotion to …
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What makes the difference between a love relationship that lasts and one that falters? There are many factors, of course, but tender loving care in maintaining a relationship can be a key to its thriving through the years. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses specific steps you can take to make your love relationship or a loving friendship grow str…
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What do you do when you love your partner but aren't feeling quite so "in love" anymore. Does this mean that it's time to move on or that you're reaching a new level of intimacy? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the differences between feeling in love and loving your partner as is day after day. While some lament the passing of that relationshi…
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Why are so many people in tears as they watch the Fred Rogers documentary "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" Perhaps some of the tears come from the realization of how much we need to learn in this age of divisiveness and distractions. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the essential life lessons we can learn from examining the life of this gentle, lovi…
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The joy of finding new love after being widowed or divorced can be tempered by conflict with adult children. They may resent the newcomer, be fearful of how they will fit into your new life, have a strong attachment to the way things were. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses what to do when your new happiness puts you at odds with your adult child…
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It's a natural cycle of life, but sometimes catches us by surprise: the time when we turn to the babies of our youth for advice, comfort and support as we feel an autumn chill. As we reach midlife and beyond, we begin to pass the torch to the next generation. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the emotional aspects of this transition, the challen…
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Experiencing the loss of peers is a particularly poignant part of midlife and beyond. With some of these special people, we lose not only a treasured friend but also a part of our own history. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses this difficult aspect of aging and pays a special tribute to Susan Ann Protter, her long-time literary agent and a singu…
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This episode is a review of the book "Prayer Wasn't Enough: A Convent Memoir" by Dee Ready. While obviously Catholic in nature, this book may be of interest to a larger audience as a coming of age story. It is a story with which so many of us can identify: dreaming a youthful dream that doesn't turn out quite the way one had hoped. We've all experi…
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These days, whenever one of you says "I love you!" does it sound a little rote, a little stale? Are there other things you can say that will give renewed emphasis to your feelings of love and help your partner, life companion or dear friend feel even more cherished? In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about five alternatives to "I love you" that can b…
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Want to improve your relationship? Start feeling closer to your spouse? Many people think that making things better means the other person changing or hammering out agreements together. Sometimes, though, quiet, subtle changes you make in your own behavior without big announcements can make a significant difference. In this episode, Dr. McCoy descr…
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We all live with ghosts of the past -- whether from childhood experiences, trauma or abuse or from the impact of unhappy relationships later on in life. These can impact our lives in many ways from our self-image to our ability to connect and commit to others. In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about how to overcome or learn to live with these ghosts…
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Love and intimacy are not constant but recurring between times of distance or the busyness of everyday life. And too many couples panic when their ardor seems to cool and wonder if this means they don't belong together. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the natural cycles and rhythms of an intimate relationship, how not to panic during times of …
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As we age, some of us develop the habit of checking out the obituary page in the local newspaper. At first, we might look primarily at the ages and, when noted, cause of death. As the ages become uncomfortably close to our own, we may find ourselves reading about another's life and, in some instances, finding unexpected inspiration. In this episode…
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Most people crunch numbers and seek out financial advisors in their pre-retirement years. Many dream of relocating to a warmer climate and closer community where living might be less expensive. But what about the emotional aspects of your new life? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the realities of retirement and how important it is to examine y…
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What do you do when an adult child makes an unreasonable demand for your money, your time or other resources and threatens estrangement, no contact with grandchildren or even suicide if you don't comply? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses how to deal with such emotional blackmail in ways that can benefit your children, grandchildren and your own …
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Do you have the blended/extended family holiday blues that are most common when those you love most may not love each other? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses what to do when holiday celebrations of family togetherness are minefields for discord, disrespect, conflict and rejection. She discusses ways you can help to make more enjoyable family ga…
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