In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we STILL haven't learned to be careful what we wish for, and for our infernal transgressions, we're thrown into the slammer! Wait, who's our cellmate? THE DJINN!? Wow, this is awkward. Guess they finally got your ass for tax evasion. But, hey, as long as we have this ancient demonic genie here, we might as well w…

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, the pen truly is mightier than the sword! Mostly due to a Satan infestation. Once again, on this holiday of torment and MURDER, we take in the questionable franchising of an already existing franchise, by visiting everyone's favorite antique shop that has no right being in business. The tradition bleeds o…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we learn to be careful what we wish for. What did we wish for, you may ask? Pizza. Mostly pizza. But the demonic Djinn did us dirty by instead turning US into pizza, aaaaaaaaah. So, we ate ourselves to DEATH. And that was a long winded way to a Spaceballs reference in this description for a WISHMASTER commentary.…

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, our usual machete laden tradition is eschewed temporarily into an excursion into some franchise expansion! Gone are horny teens, buckets of blood, and an undead momma's boy wearing a hockey mask. Instead, we got ourselves... an antique shop! Oh, yes, may GOD have mercy on all your souls, as we check out t…

In this special-ish edition of Pulp Commentary, it's been seven installments since the night HE came home... and the eighth is easily the one night HE would rather forget, along with the rest of us. While everyone's entitled to one good scare, the particular horror of sitting through this movie takes things a step too far with Mike, MB, and Hero as…

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys return to the beginning. You see, there's all the usual suspects: sack heads, hockey masks, Mrs. Voorhees', copious amounts of machete action, and... America Olivo's boobs? Waitaminute, that's different! Appreciated, but different. It's remake time, folks! So, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE THIS JASON AIN'T S…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we're not the vindicators, or the victimizers, or the vaporizers, or the vibrators, we're the... COMMENTATORS! So, slip on your slinky suits of necro-goo, Pulpers, and wrap that not at all real cape around you, because Martin Sheen sent us to HELL, and we're here to return the favor by watching what I dub thee a …

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys unfreeze themselves in the far flung spaced out future of 2002 -- which looks suspiciously like the late 90s aesthetically, but neither here nor there. In this STRANGE future time, we know not what terrifying cheapness awaits us around the same corner being re-used over and over! But the most alarming as…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, it 'twas the night before Pulpmas, and all Mike could think was how David Cronenberg's The Fly nearly drove him to drink! It's that special time of year again, as the boys audibly roast chestnuts on an open fire and talk about the true spirit of the season: discussing both the heartwarming and horrific Christmas …

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, it's been 20 years since the night HE came home (and I'm pretty sure since our first commentary). But the twilight of Samhain is once again falling, and a new player has entered the game that conjures the EVIL back from it's slumber: Josh Hartnett. We're disappointed that Michael didn't just want LL Cool …

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we are IN the Deadlights now! 30 years later, the boys of Pulp Nightmare are returning to their childhood town to finish what they started when they were but children of the 90s! Carrying a bucket of battery acid and a belief in the tooth fairy (and some trusty anti-clown gear they had laying around), they head i…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys celebrate the entirely too talked about death of Jason Voorhees by taking a nice trip down to ole' Camp Crystal Lake for some nice wholesome skinny-dipping fun. But just when they thought it was safe to go back in the pussy... they hear the sound they've been dreading all this time. The oncoming footstep…

"Get in the car... or I'll tell 'em you're Jewish." - Nathan Lane to John Travolta The Juice is finally loose! But can that really be considered a spoiler? Regardless, it's curtain call for PULPWATCH 1994, as the boys of Pulp Nightmare bid goodbye to a television show that they're somewhat confused even existed - American Crime Story: The People V …

"PRESSURE?!" - Robert Shapiro The trial of the century mercifully, thankfully starts winding down as the boys of Pulp Nightmare are brought to their absolute limit of endurance in the penultimate installment of PULPWATCH 1994. Your honor, we'd like the Nazi to take the stand. What's that? He said something about Judge Ito's wife? Stop the damn tria…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys decide that they've had enough of civilization for one weekend and go off to the woods in celebration of the life of a dear friend who's no longer with us - that friend being Stephen King's sanity. But once they settle in, they discover that something's quite amiss; Worm eggs sit precariously across the …

"Next question!" - Cuba Gooding Jr. as OJ Simpson You know, George, we've been thinking. Maybe it's time to do this PULPWATCH 1994 thing right. On a very special eighth installment of the ten-part series, FX's AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V. OJ SIMPSON, the boys of Pulp Nightmare sub out a usual guest for a very special guest who gives them the…

"Why you be half-steppin'?" Objection! Your honor, we'd like to call American Crime Story: The People v OJ Simpson to the stand. That's right, it's another edition of PULPWATCH 1994, and the boys of Pulp Nightmare discover that this episode may be the most factually inaccurate to date! From Marcia Clark's lust for a sexy black co-worker to the subs…

In which the boys unexpectedly break from the norm and read aloud the tales of the unaccountable... of another! Following a headline making arrest of a certified crazy man, who we should remind you is one hundred percent certifiably crazy, Mike delves deep into the psyche of a conspiracy that spans even deeper than he himself initially thought - mu…

"'Cause I'm for real! Hear me? I'm The Juice!" Know what this is? This is The FX's tombstone, because we've already planned it's funeral. In yet another edition of outrage, madness, and inexplicable confusion, the boys of Pulp Nightmare engage the medium of television for the sixth installment PULPWATCH 1994, trying to decipher the incoherent messa…

"JUDAS!" - Robert Shapiro We're not trying to be respectful about this podcast, we're trying to win! It's that time again, as an acclaimed director steps into the seat of FX's AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V OJ SIMPSON. Listen in as the boys of Pulp Nightmare discover what happens as betrayal rocks the trial of the century from both sides and te…

"Lesbian sex, 197!" The Trial of the Century begins - slowly and shallowly - as Pulp Nightmare sits through yet another trying chapter of America's sleaziest show currently on television, AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V OJ SIMPSON. And this one's full of everything the boys have grown to hate, from camera work that induces outright nausea to the…

"He'll never stop being The Juice!" Uncle Juice is not black, he's OJ! And with one of their own enjoying a fresh glass of OJ, the boys of Pulp Nightmare continue their live trek through the long, drawn-out true life story fictionalized in continually tasteless fashion that is the FX's AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V. OJ SIMPSON. And Episode 3, …

"Everything Is Terrible!" - A.C. Cowlings The Juice Is Loose! And going about 20 miles per hour. For the second installment of the critically acclaimed drama (seriously?) that details the fall of one of the bit players from the Naked Gun movies, the boys of Pulp Nightmare are digging deep and searching for answers where the early 1990's Los Angeles…

If the glove doesn't fit, Pulp Nightmare must acquit! Listen in as Mike, MB, and Hero travel back in time to the early 1990's, a world of seedy pizza endorsements, celebrity making schlock, and a real life murder mystery that captivated the nation. But was The Juice really a murderer all along? Well yes, but that's beside the point. What is the REA…

In which Hero gives the boys The Gift of The Zombi... Download this Tale Of The Unreturnable here, if you dareBy Mike Napier & MB

A Long Time Ago On a Podcast Far, Far, Away... Everything has transpired as they have foreseen it. Having harnessed their podcasting skills through the power of the Force, Mike, MB, and Hero have become Jedi Knights like their fathers before them, launching Pulp Commentary on one final adventure; at first bringing them face-to-face with the most vi…

A Long Time Ago On a Podcast Far, Far, Away... It is a dark time for Pulp Commentary. Like something out of a dream, the Pulp Podcasters make their return to that galaxy torn asunder by civil war and Interplanetary Nazis! While huffing the warm organ steam of a dead cosmic camel, they trip out and start taking orders from a weird apparition, settin…

A Long Time Ago On a Podcast Far, Far, Away... Three humanoids (Mike, MB, and Hero) are under fire aboard a Rebel ship carrying the long-lost data plans for the theatrical cuts of the original STAR WARS trilogy. Narrowly escaping the clutches of a dark lord who found their lack of faith disturbing, the ragtag group find themselves up to their necks…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys climb aboard a cruise ship, their destination: The Big Apple. But something is amiss... something is wrong. To the left of them... 80s stereotypes. To the right... more 80s stereotypes. With a drop in their gut, they rush to a nearby calendar. Yes, it's what they feared. Once again, the evilest of dates …

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys don their cult robes, and grab a butcher's knife, because it's that time of the year again, and they're about to take their most incomprehensible trip to Haddonfield yet! Black magic! Genetic engineering! Paul Rudd! Not the first time these three ingredients have been put together, and this won't…

DESCRIPTION: Anthology episode of the podcast designate "Pulp Nightmare", in which the humans relinquish their hosting duties to an artificial arbiter of puzzles and their inevitable solutions. QUESTIONS: What is the terrible, secular secret of "The Devil's Night"? How will one host survive the festive depravity of "The Wicker Schnitzel"? Can an or…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, WE HAVE THE POWERRRR... but not a lot of money. So, half of this commentary takes place on earth, inexplicably. But, utilizing our Casio keyboard to assist Dolph Lundgren as He-Man in battling Frank Langella as Skeletor (a credit that never ceases to be fun to say) we still manage to save the cosmos from evil! So…

In which the boys kick back and take it easy, discussing life, location, and racism involving ninjas. But their laid back approach is interrupted by a mysterious hooded figure from another dimension whose sole existence subsists of tormenting one man who made the mistake of summoning the evil spirit years prior! It's bloody, it's horrible, and noth…

On a strange and enlightening journey through an island of sugary treated horrors, the boys respond to a real life tragedy by waxing poetically about the human condition, the true morality of man, where we lie on the food chain, and what lengths one government will go to in order to stifle the robot menace once and for all. God damn you, you amazin…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, it's X-Mas in July! And the boys... you know what, no. We're not even going to do it this time. This movie has taken things too far. Santa Claus has claimed too many lives for these injustices to go on! Kids, don't enable this... this red suited MONSTER to keep annually invading your lives with promises of toys! …

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we enter a seedy underground world, where the competition is fierce, and those who lose have their lives ripped away from them, drifting into shameful obscurity like embers flaking in wind. A coin slides into a slot, a machine flickers to life, 8-bit sounds jingle in a cacophony of whimsy. An ape stands tall at t…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we take an uncomfortably close look at the depraved depths a pure evil soul reaches -- an evil the likes of which humanity has never seen before, and GOD WILLING WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN. Not outside of the 80s, at least. Her domain. Her CELESTIAL TIME PRISON. And if we have anything to say about it, it'll stay that …

In which the boys take things in a slightly different direction - a direction involving the non-stop winding fury of GAMES! Listen in as Mike, MB, and Hero enjoy themselves for once by playing a not-at-all-new spin on the popular Cards Against Humanity, which leads them into finding out just what you'd trade a pack of cigarettes for, where you don'…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, our brains melt out our ears and we experience offensive B.S. the likes of which we've never seen before, as we enter a magical realm that exists only in the minds of these insane filmmakers. So, join us -- we guess -- because we're watching the bizarre propaganda film: GOD'S NOT DEAD. He totally is though, don't…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, flesh crawls, blood curdles... and Phibes LIVES. Just when you thought the horrendous and complicated acts of murder/revenge were over... the coffin is open, and more shall pay! Join us as we go somewhere over the rainbow to watch: DR. PHIBES RISES AGAIN!By Mike Napier & MB

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, you gotta look out for flying TVs just as much as slashing machete's, because not only is everyone's favorite hockey mask wearing killer back from the grave(again) but HE HAS MET HIS MATCH. Well, sorta. He does get a couch thrown at him. It's Supernatural Entity of Pure Anti-Sex Evil vs Teenage Girl Who Can Hurl …

A loose-cannon cop with nothing to lose (Christopher Lambert, Highlander) finds himself on the outskirts of a crime-ridden Detroit ruled by magical fairy-people and vile orcs, under the dominion of a power-mad crime boss known as The Mage. Can he cope with his post-traumatic stress of losing both his partner, and his wife and child in separate inci…

In which the boys and Hero really regret this episode. "Listen" as the "trio" are "disturbed" to the point of "insanity" by events that unfold in the dark recesses of the mind of a man made of beans, childhood icons are taken to task for their debauched behavior, and a fetishism is taken to such an extreme that even Swamp Thing is horrified. Kakaro…

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, just when we thought it was safe to crank-up 80s rock and skinny dip... the series gets a defibrillator shock from HELL. One convenient lightning strike reminds us that nothing this evil (or marketable) ever dies -- and this time, Mrs. Voorhees' baby boy is DONE screwing around. Will a sexy hero be able to triump…

In which the boys find themselves betrayed at every corner and fall victim to an unrelenting curse! Listen as alliances are forged and then immediately broken in a mad quest for power; witness the fall of the House of Pulp, one-by-one, at the hands of a cash-suited psychopath who can't stop doing calculations. Bring the Gold Helicopters lower! Brin…

In this special x-mas edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys now have a machine gun, ho ho ho. So, start knowing what a TV dinner feels like, bubby! We're your commentating white knights! Not even shards of glass in our feet can stop us from soldiering on through Nakatomi Plaza, and all forty stories of adventure it holds; because despite losing 25% …

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys make the most important decision of their collective lives -- they get their asses to MARS. So, hop into a Johnny Cab and unleash the Kuato within you, because we're not only giving them air, but we're watching Paul Verhoeven's sci-fi classic... TOTAL RECALL. We can commentate it for you wholesale.…

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB hit somebody with their car, throw somebody down an elevator shaft, and find Bob's severed leg. Also, Beth dies. But don't worry about that. After carrying the song bird's lifeless corpse out to be set ablaze like she's Darth Vader, they watch Maggie roast marshmallows over it and discuss "Coda," the mid-seas…

In which the boys, once again joined by Hero, return to an old classic - MB's Newsdesk! And unfortunately so, because it details a real life tragedy that is mocked relentlessly and without class. Which mysterious foe of Pulp Days Past returns to taunt the trio? Only the Equestrians know, and they're too busy playing poor to care. He was sober that …

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB hail Hydra! But despite continuing to swear their allegiance to The Red Skull, even in the zombie apocalypse, they still manage to discuss "Crossed," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.By Mike Napier & MB