Best Smokescreen Podcasts (2024)

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Episode 23: What are 5 Smokescreens the Unfaithful Use to Deflect? 30:55

14d ago30:55

30:55

Have you ever considered the possibility that we, the unfaithful, massively deflect? If you're a betrayed partner, we're quite positive you've seen us utilize a smokescreen time and time again. You may have even laughed or rolled your eyes at the mere question. It's as though we launch smokescreens to deflect, diminish and even disrupt the conversa…

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The Dog Whisper of Death 26:38

3d ago26:38

26:38

No toxic masculinity here! Only good old fashioned, non-confrontational, reward-based dog training. In this episode, The Amys are joined by world-renowned dog trainer and advocate, Zak George, to discuss the current state of affairs in the dog training industry. They tackle tough topics like why people are drawn to punitive methods and tools, wheth…

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Episode 27: What Are the Two Most Overlooked Keys to Recovery? 49:18

5d ago49:18

49:18

Anyone who has spent a significant amount of time in recovery work, whether unfaithful or betrayed, will tell you that recovery work is simply put, "not for the faint of heart." There's something unique about talking to someone who has 'been there' if you will and lived through either their own self-betrayal or the betrayal of their partner or spou…

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Episode 26: 5 Signs of Emotional Intelligence 44:57

14d ago44:57

44:57

How emotionally intelligent are you? What about your partner or spouse, how emotionally intelligent are they? What even is emotional intelligence and why do we need it and how does it help us? Before we can assess either ourselves or our partner, we must have a reference point for what emotional intelligence is, what it looks like and even what it …

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Episode 25: 6 Signs of an Emotional Affair 46:41

14d ago46:41

46:41

"Was it actually an emotional affair?" "Was I really sharing too much with them?" "I didn't know I was crossing lines with them, how was I supposed to know....maybe you're just overreacting?" These statements and more continue to permeate session after session with therapists, infidelity coaches and even clergy members trying to help couples decide…

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Episode 24: What are 4 Damaging Ways the Unfaithful Seek Attention? 52:22

14d ago52:22

52:22

If you're an unfaithful, have you ever considered that perhaps your affair was about seeking attention, affirmation and/or escape? Maybe you're a betrayed and you can see how your unfaithful was seeking out nonstop validation and affirmation, not to mention looking for escape from pain filled or pressure filled reality? Unfortunately, we unfaithful…

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Episode 22: What are the 5 Stages of Change for The Unfaithful? 55:25

14d ago55:25

55:25

Did you know there are actual stages of change we as human beings go through before we arrive at true change? Did you also know there are stages we unfaithful partners go through both before, during and after our affair or problematic sexual behaviors? As both an unfaithful and a betrayed, it's imperative we have a knowledge of and understand these…

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Episode 21: 5 Communication Mistakes the Unfaithful Make 45:23

14d ago45:23

45:23

Any couple trying to heal from the devastation of infidelity or addiction will attest to the difficulty they have had trying to communicate with their partner. From misunderstanding, to defensiveness, to outright anger and rage, this journey of communicating is not for the faint of heart. It's enough pain to make a betrayed partner feel like they a…

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Episode 20: 10 Reasons Why the Unfaithful Self Sabotage 44:17

14d ago44:17

44:17

Have you ever wondered, as an unfaithful, "Why do I keep doing this?" "Why do I keep getting in my own way?" "Why is it that no matter what I do, I eventually just make decisions that sabotage my life?" If you've ever struggled with these thoughts and more just like it, you're in luck as today we dive deep into why we unfaithful self-sabotage. Mayb…

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Episode 19: What are the Signs of Denial in the Life of the Unfaithful? 38:38

14d ago38:38

38:38

Has your partner ever accused you of being in denial about your choices or the impact of your affair? Maybe your mate continues to communicate to you in a way that makes you feel they are in absolute denial about the impact of their choices or that they have hurt you at all? It can seem as though their use of denial is conscious and even weaponized…

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Episode 18: What are the Consequences of Betrayal for the Unfaithful? 52:23

14d ago52:23

52:23

Often times a betrayed partner will wonder if the unfaithful actually suffers any consequences due to their choice(s) to go outside the marriage. Betrayeds will ask us "Are the unfaithful, actually suffering at all? Do you think they've become aware of what they've done to me, to us, to our family?" Our answer is "We're not sure yet....it depends o…

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Episode 17: What is Parental Enmeshment and How Does it Affect Affair Recovery? 45:03

14d ago45:03

45:03

Have you ever heard of 'Parental Enmeshment?' Adult parental enmeshment is a psychological and relational condition where an adult has an excessively close and dependent relationship with their parent, to the extent that it interferes with their ability to develop a separate and autonomous identity. This 'enmeshment' involves blurred boundaries, wh…

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Episode 16: How Do the Unfaithful Invalidate the Betrayed's Feelings? 46:28

15d ago46:28

46:28

Maybe you've said this before or had it said to you, but it's a common yet problematic statement for couples trying to heal from the devastation of infidelity or addiction: "I feel like I'm never heard OR that my feelings are always minimized or just plain invalidated." We unfaithful have this masterful ability to quite often minimize or completely…

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Episode 15: 5 Ways the Unfaithful are Defensive and Reactive 51:23

15d ago51:23

51:23

Have you ever felt like your partner or spouse was consistently defensive and/or overly reactive every time their actions were called into question? It can feel like having a normal conversation with them is impossible as every time their actions are brought up, their reactions are over the top and somehow they find a way to blame everyone else but…

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Episode 14: Why are the Unfaithful Dishonest with Themselves? 39:11

15d ago39:11

39:11

Have you ever wondered why the unfaithful just isn't getting it? It's like they live in this bubble of self deception, seemingly impenetrable, almost as if it's self soothing mechanism. Eventually a betrayed partner will come to the necessary conclusion that many unfaithful have to be dishonest with themselves to justify their actions. Often times,…

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Episode 13: 6 Ways the Unfaithful Retraumatize the Betrayed Partner 40:47

15d ago40:47

40:47

In this week's episode James and Sam discuss 6 ways the unfaithful party continues to retraumatize the betrayed partner both knowingly and unknowingly. We'll also discuss how the unfaithful can become more aware of these mistakes as well as stop them and rework your recovery altogether. Contrary to what some days may feel like, It doesn't always ha…

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Episode 12: How Can the Unfaithful Stop Draining the Betrayed's Energy? 35:55

15d ago35:55

35:55

Despite being well into a couple's recovery journey, the Unfaithful can drain the Betrayed's energy in a myriad of ways - from asking the betrayed to affirm, encourage, buoy, support and, in many ways, be responsible for the unfaithful's recovery. This approach ends up draining the Betrayed of most if not all of their energy, resilience and overall…

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Episode 11: Why is Perfectionism so Dangerous for the Unfaithful? 33:18

15d ago33:18

33:18

In this episode, Sam and I talk about Perfectionism as it applies in every day life as one of the top reasons for relapse. Where does it come from and why is it so common and dangerous in the life of a recovering Unfaithful? What can the Unfaithful do to change the negative power of this unattainable value that leaves us feeling like we aren't good…

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Episode 10 - How does the Unfaithful Make Amends Early on in Recovery 30:58

15d ago30:58

30:58

The Unfaithful can live in such a way that our life is an amends for the damage we've done. Every day, we can say things and do things that continue to trigger and hurt our Betrayed and those need to be handled immediately to reduce the hurt and pain they cause. This is done by making amends. And there is a process for that. While this video is not…

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Episode 9: What Are the Biggest Red Flags in the Unfaithful's Early Relational Recovery? 37:31

15d ago37:31

37:31

"What are the red flags I should be looking for?" is a question James and I receive quite often. It's not only a common question but it's a necessary and understandable question. What are the biggest red flags in the unfaithful's early relational recovery? Today James and I will share some of the most pertinent red flags that both the unfaithful an…

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Episode 8: How Can the Unfaithful Begin to Rebuild Trust in Early Recovery 37:45

15d ago37:45

37:45

If there was a word that was both polarizing as well as unsettling for both sides of infidelity, it would be the word trust. How does one win back trust when they have shattered their wedding vows? Is it even possible to restore trust after infidelity or addiction? If so, what could it look like and is it even worth it? "It feels impossible Sam" is…

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Episode 7 - Are All Unfaithfuls Intimacy Avoidant? 40:34

15d ago40:34

40:34

What does it mean to be Intimacy Avoidant? What even is intimacy avoidance and am I that? Or, is my partner that? If so, what do we do and how do we heal from it? Can we even heal from it? Today James and I tackle not only these questions but a whole host of questions that surround the idea of an unfaithful partner being intimacy avoidant. The good…

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Episode 6 - How is the Unfaithful's Progress in Recovery Measured? 40:00

15d ago40:00

40:00

If there was a question I've heard both partners ask time and time again out of desperation, it would be this such question. How do we manage our recovery? How do we know if we're doing enough? How do I know if I'm doing enough and what is actually true progress? Today you're not just in luck but you're in the presence of true expert insight as I p…

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Episode 5: Why is Resentment so Destructive in the Life of the Unfaithful? 35:22

15d ago35:22

35:22

Resentment in the life of an Unfaithful is not only toxic but can also be paralyzing. Trying to heal themselves as well as their relationship is hard enough without the roadblock of resentment and bitterness. In order for the Unfaithful to gain traction with both their betrayed spouse as well as their own healing, recovery work has to focus on iden…

1
Episode 4: Is Relapse a Part of Recovery? 36:32

19d ago36:32

36:32

It's a normal question for the Betrayed as well as the Unfaithful: Is relapse a part of recovery? If so, why would that ever be necessary and why would the Betrayed ever have to live through that type of horror ever again? If the answer is no, well then, what are those who relapse supposed to think about themselves and their own recovery? What is t…

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Episode 3: What Does Being "All-In" in Recovery Work After Infidelity Look Like? 34:25

19d ago34:25

34:25

"Are you 'all in' in your recovery work Sam?" I'll never forget the day my therapist asked me that question so point blank while on his couch. It was a day that changed my outlook on repair work entirely. Until that moment, no one had asked me that question with such great authority and confidence. Now, (graciously I might add) let James and I ask …

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Episode 2: Why Do the Unfaithful Disparage the Betrayed to their Affair Partner? 35:33

20d ago35:33

35:33

Have you, as an Unfaithful, disparaged your spouse or partner to your affair partner? Maybe you've shared intimate details about your marriage to your affair partner? Perhaps you complained to your affair partner about your spouse? If you're an Unfaithful and trying to face the reality of this scenario, there is hope and there is a way you can help…

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Episode 1: Why are the Unfaithful so Angry? 32:54

20d ago32:54

32:54

Have you ever wondered why, if the Unfaithful was the partner who cheated, they are angry? If you're a Betrayed Partner, it can be hurtful, painful, confusing, and downright maddening that the Unfaithful acted out sexually and/or emotionally outside of your coupleship, yet become angry when asked questions or are confronted or even mildly approache…

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Never Say Goodbye - Separation Related Behavior 50:00

28d ago50:00

50:00

There are so many misconceptions about separation related behavior out there! Did you know that Beagles are NOT the only breed affected? And (surprise!), you can’t just leave your dog alone with a stuffed human decoy of yourself, and expect them to be ok! Join the Amys and their passionate guest, world-renowned educator and trainer, Malena DeMartin…

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The Moralist Corruption 36:18

2M ago36:18

36:18

If there's one thing that we seem to be insatiable about, it's trying to make ourselves the heroes of our own narratives. Some of our egotistical methods are painfully obvious. Others however are fairly subtle, especially when we employ gaslighting. I believe moralism is one of these methods. Today we will be discussing the various flaws, corruptio…

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Smokescreen of the Conscience 23:12

2M ago23:12

23:12

The topic of bafflegab and needlessly controversial Christian conversations has been brought up a few times before. Today I bring them both up again, but in a new light. These can also be used as a distraction and a smokescreen. "To what, and for whom?" you may ask. Find out in today's episode!By Adam Poelstra

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Keep Calm and Buzzzzzz On! 39:21

2M ago39:21

39:21

"How will they remember me?" Join the Amys and their enchanting guest Dr. Sarah Kuhlo, Veterinary Services Manager at Ceva Animal Health, as they discuss pheromones and their role in creating the ultimate Calm Clinic experience for pets and their people. Chemical communication is the oldest, most common, and most important form of intra-species com…

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What Is Joy? 28:45

2M ago28:45

28:45

Among the many deep words that we have rather weak definitions of, joy certainly is. I've been thinking about and answering questions (my own and others') about what joy really is. Recently I've had a few more revelations about it, and today would like to share these thoughts with you.By Adam Poelstra

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From Belief to Knowing 22:48

3M ago22:48

22:48

What really is belief? Is it what makes us confident and sure? Should it be? Is there anything beyond and greater than belief? I think that knowledge is what lies beyond belief, and not only is it reasonable to pursue, it is what Christians are invited to. In today's episode, we'll be discussing what that transition looks like.…

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Orthodoxies of American History 44:54

3M ago44:54

44:54

There is a difference between what people believe and what a culture accepts as its collective belief or orthodoxy. America has gone through a couple pendulum swings at least in its cultural orthodoxy, all of which have been authoritarian and oppressive as they always are. Today we'll be taking a theoretical journey through those swings. I hope you…

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Where Anxiety Comes From 25:05

4M ago25:05

25:05

Anxiety can be quite crippling to us in life. Preventing us from everything from potential relationships to entire career paths. So where does it come from? Is it a good thing or bad? What can we learn from anxiety itself? Today we'll be exploring some deep human psychology and connecting some subjective feelings to objective realities.…

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My Opposition to Pessimism 31:18

4M ago31:18

31:18

How many people have you known who seem to have a skill to take the energy out of almost any idea, or plan, or whatever? Don't they seem rather proud of themselves? In my opinion however, such people, pessimists, are among those most to be pitied. In today's episode, we'll be going through why I think pessimism is an ominous trait.…

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The Two Kinds of Fear 22:14

4M ago22:14

22:14

Have you ever noticed that people can often use the word "fear" in one of at least two ways, but we are rarely given a definition? The more obvious definition would have to do with being afraid, but what is the other? Today, we'll be exploring two primary ways that fear is expressed by human beings, and what that means.…

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The 420 - Clearing the CBD Smokescreen 42:03

4M ago42:03

42:03

Do you know what costs A LOT more than a bottle of CBD oil? A trip to the ER. Join the Amys and their mentor, Dr. Lisa Radosta, as they clear the smokescreen and hash out the science regarding the use of cannabis products in veterinary medicine. The market is flooded with so-called quick-fix solutions to common pet behavior problems. And, when pet …

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A Lesson from a Dream 38:07

4M ago38:07

38:07

Have you ever encountered a very giving person, and felt that there was something deeply wrong about their supposed generosity? Did you get the feeling that what they were doing was more about them than it was about whoever they were being charitable towards? Having had a dream recently which addressed this topic, I thought I'd share some thoughts …

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Holy Irresponsible 25:42

5M ago25:42

25:42

Anyone who has made a point in life to pull their own weight has experienced the vexation of those who habitually try to get away with as little as possible. It is a whole other level however when these same people not only justify their sloth, but consider themselves good for their laziness. On today's episode, we'll be exploring how some say with…

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The Road Ahead 1:07:41

5M ago1:07:41

1:07:41

On this week's episode Pete and Doug discuss the Canucks season as a whole, their playoff run and the outlook for next season. Doug also explains why he's been absent the last few episodes.By Pete, Brendan & Doug

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Running From Guilt 37:23

5M ago37:23

37:23

Today we'll be running through a somewhat niche area where Christians consider merely feeling bad to in itself be evil. While also opening this up to the general concept as such, we'll also be talking about the deep dangers of such avoidance and moralizing.By Adam Poelstra

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Culture of Noise 53:19

5M ago53:19

53:19

It's time to celebrate the Canucks series win over Nashville and look ahead to their second round series against Edmonton.

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Judgement Blind Spot 30:37

5M ago30:37

30:37

Recently I was inspired to notice a hypocrisy within the typical church view on judgement. Not only are such paradigms and practices often nonsense in themselves, sometimes when you look at two such examples in tandem, you'll notice that they so contradict each other that only cognitive dissonance could allow for both to exist in the same supposed …

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Successful Systems & Processes for Growth with Michael Mezheritskiy 22:31

5M ago22:31

22:31

We’re excited to return with a new series featuring advisors around the country. We’ll spend time discussing their business and processes, and learn from their successes and failures. Today we welcome on Michael Mezheritskiy of Milestone Asset Management Group in Connecticut to learn more about what’s behind his growth from a solo shop to now havin…

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Sleeping with the Fishes 43:35

5M ago43:35

43:35

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a dolphin trainer? Join the Amys for a deep dive into the world of aquatic and exotic animal training with Ashley Conlin, IAABC CDBC, IAABC ADT, and owner of Pets Behave Dog Training in sunny Niceville, Florida, as they discuss the most important element in every training relationship - TRUST. Before shif…

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Thoughts on Immaturity 22:02

5M ago22:02

22:02

We use the word "immature" on a fairly regular basis, especially with a negative connotation. Do we really understand its meaning? Is it even an insult or negative as such? Today, we'll not only be exploring this question, but also some areas where immaturity hides under the guise of graveness.By Adam Poelstra

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Defend Productivity! 40:29

6M ago40:29

40:29

Perhaps one among the saddest trends of modern day is that our own sense of what it means to be good and generous often leads people into positions where they become drained and taken advantage of. Persecution is one thing, if you are a Christian, but almost seeking to be abused and making that your lifestyle is something else entirely, and very da…