Best Tami R Atman Podcasts (2024)

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TSSH 66 - Karma Delivers and it Sucks 11:15

2+ y ago11:15

11:15

When narcissistic parents starts ageing, people eventually see through the false charm and see the person for who they really are. Their behavior tends to get worse with the passage of time. As time takes its toll on their looks and their health they painfully realize that admiration is a thing of the past. Time has taken its toll. Narcissistic par…

1
TSSH 65 - Bigger! Better! Faster! More! Now! 11:45

2+ y ago11:45

11:45

All-or-nothing thinking is a a cognitive distortion. Cognitive meaning the way you understand, think, and perceive. And Distortion meaning misleading or irrational. All-or-nothing thinking and fear of failure paved a perfect path to perfectionism. I was raised with impossibly high expectations that I could never meet and as miserable as that made m…

1
TSSH 64 - Now You See Me. Now You Don't. 12:26

2+ y ago12:26

12:26

Object Constancy is a cognitive skill we acquire at around 2 years old and is defined as the ability to maintain an emotional bond with others, even where there is distance and conflict. In adulthood, Object Constancy allows us to trust that our bond with those who are close to us remains whole even when they are not physically present. We understa…

1
TSSH 63 - Be Silent and Obey the System 🤫 12:57

2+ y ago12:57

12:57

Toxic family rules live at the center of a dysfunctional family system and are designed to keep secrets hidden, enable abuse, keep children in line and avoid responsibility while also preventing safety, growth and connection. Toxic family dynamics can have far-reaching impact on our lives as adults. Children of toxic parents are emotionally starved…

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TSSH 62 - 3 Miserable Musts and 8 Destructive Beliefs (Dr. Albert Ellis) 11:31

2+ y ago11:31

11:31

Albert Ellis, who is considered the 2nd most influential psychotherapist in history died in 2007 and believed psychological problems are due to pervasive patterns of irrational thought. It is not events that create emotional states, but the way we interpret them. Chronic unhappiness is not caused directly by adversity but by us, it is our irrationa…

1
TSSH 61 - Codependency Defined-Redefined-Explained-Renamed 13:07

2+ y ago13:07

13:07

“Something happened to us a long time ago. It happened more than once. It hurt us. We protected ourselves the only way we knew how. We are still protecting ourselves. It isn’t working anymore.” ― John C. Friel, Adult Children Secrets of Dysfunctional Families: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families “recovery is a process rather than an event.” ― Joh…

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TSSH 60 - You Stay There. I Will Go Here. 9:25

2+ y ago9:25

9:25

Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. It means verbalizing what impacts your comfort levels. It means learning how and when to say "no." When we set boundaries, we’re less angry and resentful because our needs are getting met and our space is respected. Boundaries make our expectations clear, so others know what to expect from us and how …

1
TSSH 59 - 10 painfully good things and 10 uncomfortable great things 10:52

2+ y ago10:52

10:52

The healing journey was and is not easy for me. It is a continuous and rigorous cycle of aha moments followed by grief followed by acceptance. If your parents were narcissistic, controlling, smothering, unavailable, overly critical, manipulative, angry and emotionally immature...you may feel as lonely and disconnected as I have felt and battled the…

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TSSH 58 - I'm Back. Less Bitter. Better. 9:40

2+ y ago9:40

9:40

In March of 2021, my youngest daughter and her teammates experienced horrific emotional abuse from the coach of a Division 1 collegiate athletic team. It was a sickening combination of narcissism, toxic leadership, and verbal abuse and I was crushed by it as there was nothing I could do. I witnessed my daughter getting the exact same treatment that…

1
TSSH 57 - Seeing the light with Gina Defa🕯️ 34:27

3+ y ago34:27

34:27

Coming from a home filled with alcoholism and abuse, Gina knows the grit & grace it takes to not just survive, but to move into a life filled with peace. She trusts that her immediate instinct to follow her intuition (which she calls her light) has been the catalyst to every success she has been blessed to experience. Her greatest passion is to hel…

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TSSH 56 - Psychological resilience with Dr. Lise Deguire ❤️‍🩹 38:14

3+ y ago38:14

38:14

"I am four years old in that photo, half-naked and burned all over. I am propped up into a sitting position. My hair, which had been honey blonde and bouncy with waves, sprawls in a dark, stringy mess. My chest is completely covered with tight, raw bands of scars. My right arm, also constricted by scars, is attached to my torso by contractures. My …

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TSSH 55 - Healing the physical effects from parental emotional abuse with Special Guest - Vera Wilhelmsen🤒 43:36

3+ y ago43:36

43:36

Vera Wilhelmsen was once ill with "incurable" chronic illness as a result from narcissistic abuse from her parents and grandparents. She fought her way out on her own, realized the root causes, cut contact with her entire family and all toxic people in her life and went deep into her own trauma to heal. She states on her web site “I was severely il…

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TSSH 54 - STEPpin' It Up - A Surprising Reconciliation 🔑🔓 1:06:58

3+ y ago1:06:58

1:06:58

There is significant truth behind the statement "everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about". A conversation with my stepsister reveals how toxic parenting, favoritism, manipulation and emotional immaturity can fracture family ties - usually beyond repair. My stepsister was the scapegoat and I bounced back and forth from golden to lost ch…

1
TSSH 53 - Creating space for The Conversation with Colleen Perry 🔊👂 32:14

4y ago32:14

32:14

"It is my goal to help other who grew up in homes with Alcoholics. I tell my story in hopes of bringing awareness to Alcoholism. I want to help other children of alcoholics, find community, develop their voices and heal. My work is dedicated to help create community, promote healing and change the attitude around Alcohol." - Colleen Perry Instagram…

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TSSH 52 - Counter-dependency (Radical Self Reliance)🤐🤫 14:22

4y ago14:22

14:22

Codependency, the habit of gaining your self worth from pleasing others, is something most people know of nowadays. But it’s lesser known opposite, called counterdependency, can be just as much of a problem and is often related to codependency. Those who suffer counterdependency have a dread of ever depending on or needing anyone, at heart of which…

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TSSH 51 - A Poem and an Unsent Letter🖊️✍️ 14:26

4y ago14:26

14:26

On my healing journey, I wrote (but never sent) a letter to my toxic parents. Journal therapy originated in the 1960s with psychologist Dr. Ira Progoff's Intensive Journal method. With his developments, the therapeutic potential of journal writing moved into public view. One of the ways to deal with any overwhelming emotion is to find a healthy way…

1
TSSH 50 - Subtle Abuse With Not So Subtle Results 🔨🧰 33:45

4y ago33:45

33:45

Emotional abuse is a way to control another person by using emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise manipulate another person. In general, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviors that wear down a person's self-esteem and undermine their mental health. Chil…

1
TSSH 49 - Guilt and Shame are NOT the Same 😲 34:56

4y ago34:56

34:56

Shame is often referred to as “the toxic cousin of guilt. Guilt says “I’ve done something bad”. Shame says “I am bad”. Shame may show up in some of these ways: feeling inferior, defective, flawed, worthless, phony, and unlovable. For codependents, shame can lead to control, caretaking, and dysfunctional, nonassertive communication. Shame creates ma…

1
TSSH 48 - Pain of Thrones, Comparisons, Pedestals and Death of Joy. < > 32:30

4y ago32:30

32:30

Comparing ourselves to others allows them to drive our behavior. I often worked too hard to determine what others expected so I can make sure I fit in. I was constantly feeling less than, wanting to be greater than – leading to an ultra-competitive and unhealthy mindset. You can be anything but you can’t be everything. When we compare ourselves to …

1
TSSH 47 - Passion For Or Addiction To ???? 🤷‍♀️🧠 31:42

4y ago31:42

31:42

When parents emotionally ignore children, they feel invisible, invalidated, worthless, and disconnected from their true self. Parents with unhealed emotional wounds are unable to authentically connect with their children and this lack of connection makes children chronically question their value. They then turn to OUTSIDE forms of validation in an …

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TSSH 46 - Little Bent Not Broken 💔 Featured Guest: Marisa 39:51

4y ago39:51

39:51

Marisa shares her story of surviving and healing from childhood emotional, mental, and physical abuse through Instagram (@littlebent_notbroken) to help others in a similar situation or with a similar background feel seen and heard, and to validate their experiences and emotions. Covert abuse in the form of narcissism or gaslighting can disconnect t…

1
TSSH 45 - Musical Affirmation and Lyrical Validation 🎹🎭 49:51

4y ago49:51

49:51

The problem with negative thoughts is that they can become self-fulfilling prophecies. We talk ourselves into believing that we're not good enough. And, as a result, these thoughts drag down our personal lives, our relationships, and our careers. Affirmations are positive statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and ne…

1
TSSH 44 - Hail to the Gail - Founder of The Buttrfly Effect 🦋 28:38

4y ago28:38

28:38

Gail Ferguson Jones is an award-winning journalist, speaker, podcaster and family recovery coach. She is a recovering codependent who survived the trauma and chaos of three generations of alcoholism in her family: maternal grandmother, father and husband, all of whom died of the disease. After hitting a personal rock bottom about eight years ago, s…

1
TSSH 43 - 1 single revelation every BIG STEP she takes 🎩👢 43:04

4y ago43:04

43:04

Toxic Family Dynamics Splitting: Planting seeds where jealousy resentment, and anger will flourish. Pitting: Setting family members against each other, usually through dishonesty. Smear Campaigns: Premediated efforts to ruin another person's reputation and character usually by lying and deceit. Chronic disrespect and contempt. Becomes angry and enr…

1
TSSH 42 - Dis-ease + Unmet Needs = Theraplease 🙏 47:51

4y ago47:51

47:51

Definition of dis-ease - a particular quality, habit, or disposition regarded as adversely affecting a person or group of people. Early experiences of stress and trauma require soothing by caring, consistent parental figures. When that care isn’t available early in life or when stressors are chronic, it can wreak havoc with our worldview, making us…

1
TSSH 41 - Come On Baby, Gaslight My Fire 🔥 34:26

4y ago34:26

34:26

Gaslighting — any sort of statement that makes someone doubt their own feelings or perceptions — is a common tactic used in abusive relationships. But it's also present in many kinds of relationships; not limited to romantic relationships, it may occur in parent-child ones, as well. Once you can spot the signs your parents are gaslighting you, you …

1
TSSH 40 - Grey Rock n' Roll 🎸 30:49

4+ y ago30:49

30:49

The phrase “Gray Rock Method” was first coined by blogger Skylar in this article on her website: https://180rule.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/ after a fateful conversation she had with a complete stranger. You should definitely go and read that article after you’ve finished here. Whether you play a big role such as a partner…

1
TSSH 39 - Come Heal With Highwater 💧(Featured Guest: Annie Highwater) 45:46

4+ y ago45:46

45:46

Annie Highwater is a Writer, Speaker, Podcast Host and Family Advocate. She has a particular interest in family pathology and concepts of dysfunction, addiction, alcoholism and conflict. Annie published her memoir, Unhooked: A Mother's Story of Unhitching from the Roller Coaster of Her Son's Addiction, in 2016. Annie's Mission: There are more peopl…

1
TSSH 38 - Healing Breadcrumbs To Nibble On 🍞🦜 (Featured Guest: Carol Campos) 40:50

4+ y ago40:50

40:50

For years (actually decades!) Carol didn’t know what she wanted to do. She had been working in the corporate world for over 20 years, most recently in a leadership role at a Fortune 5 company. Although she worked hard and was consistently recognized and promoted, she somehow knew that she was meant to do something different. she felt stuck in a lif…

1
TSSH 37 - REAL - actually existing in fact; not imagined - True Self & False Self 12:46

4+ y ago12:46

12:46

A false self is created as an adaptation to emotionally ignorant and immature parents who selfishly wallowed in self-unawareness and project their needs and misery onto an infant rather than reflecting the infant's actual moods. Simply put, the false self is not real. It is the disconnected self. You do not naturally belong here or anywhere and you…

1
TSSH 36 - Comfortably Miserable 14:23

4+ y ago14:23

14:23

Season 3 Episode 3 Our brains overreact when facing uncertainty because they’re wired to react to it with fear. Research has shown that as the uncertainty of scenarios increase, the subjects’ brains shifted control over to the limbic system, the place where emotions, such as anxiety and fear, are generated. This brain quirk worked great eons ago, w…

1
TSSH 35 - human DOings & human BEings 12:59

4+ y ago12:59

12:59

Season 3 Episode 2 - human DOings & human BEings Doing more, constantly putting myself out there, saying yes to every opportunity, cradling every tangible and intangible experience like a an Olympic medal…I believed these things will get me exposure, accolades, recognition and sales…but in reality they brought on stress, depression, frustration, mo…

1
TSSH 34 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic: anger) 10:20

4+ y ago10:20

10:20

Heal in Place. Fill your Still. Anger. I used to be angry…most of the time. I have a mother, father and stepfather with various personality disorders who erratically switch back and forth from being overly demanding or callously indifferent. I was set up for a life of no confidence, perpetual sadness masked by raged and an addiction to results and …

1
TSSH 33 - The ART of Healing Creatively 🎨🖌(Featured Guest: Jennifer Pazienza) 38:08

4+ y ago38:08

38:08

Season 3 | Episode 1. This is an AMAZING STORY. Jennifer Pazienza lives on Keswick Ridge in New Brunswick, Atlantic Canada and creates poetic and contemplative paintings. "Since I was young, the natural world has been my haven for refuge and renewal. A compelling feature in my work is what’s not there - most especially humans. I want people to visu…

1
TSSH 32 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic: Triggers) 11:06

4+ y ago11:06

11:06

Heal in Place. Fill your Still. Triggers. What are emotional triggers? They are those super-reactive places inside you that become activated by someone else’s behaviors or comments. When triggered, you may either withdraw emotionally and simply feel hurt or angry or respond in an aggressive way that you will probably regret later. Your reaction is …

1
TSSH 31 - Nothing good comes from SHOULD 👍👎👈 35:01

4+ y ago35:01

35:01

Season 2 Episode 10. Should statements give you two options: you pass or you fail–when in reality, life is much more complex than that. And when we don’t meet the expectations that these “should demands” set up for us, we feel guilty, we feel shame, and we feel like we aren’t living up to our potential. As I’ve become more interested in healing and…

1
TSSH 30 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic: setting boundaries) 13:45

4+ y ago13:45

13:45

Heal in Place. Fill your Still. Setting boundaries. Most people who have weak personal boundaries had no role models when they were young. Witnessing narcissistic and codependent dynamics that probably goes back generations contributes to us believing that love = what we did, not who we were. Boundaries are like an invisible shield or fence around …

1
TSSH 29 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic: emotional neglect) 10:01

4+ y ago10:01

10:01

Emotional neglect is different from emotional abuse because it is often unintentional. Parents, due to their own misery and preoccupation with unhealed wounds from their childhood, may have emotionally neglected you. This omission played a huge part in shaping you into the adult you are today and may dictate how much emotional regulation and relati…

1
TSSH 28 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic: Family Systems) 14:38

4+ y ago14:38

14:38

Part of my healing journey is fulfilling a recently discovered life purpose by reaching out to those in need of healing from emotional abuse by toxic parents and transgenerational dysfunction. If you are sheltering in place, perhaps some of you would like to use this time of no distractions to acquire new healing strategies. If you are like how I u…

1
TSSH 27 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic: Respond vs React) 13:15

4+ y ago13:15

13:15

Heal in Place. Fill your Still. Respond vs React. When you react, your emotions are in control, with no thought of consequences. Feelings are not facts and so your amygdala is running the show. I deluded myself for years believing that when I was screaming and throwing temper tantrums that I was taking control of a situation that I didn’t like. Loo…

1
TSSH 26 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic: perfectionism) 10:28

4+ y ago10:28

10:28

Heal in Place. Fill your Still. Perfectionism. This is Tami Atman with the Stuck stops here. We are alone together experiencing fear and anxiety over what is happening in the world today. I am using this time of reflection to nurture my recently discovered life purpose of sharing the resources I used on my healing journey which began in 2014. Many …

1
TSSH 25 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic: toxic shame) 13:50

4+ y ago13:50

13:50

Heal in Place. Fill your Still. Toxic Shame. Toxic shame eats away at your spirit and soul, crushing positive energy out of us and allowing negative life forces like self-hate to take over. We shrink. We feel like we mean nothing. We feel we are nothing. As a result of toxic shame passed down through generations in my family, I believed that I was …

1
TSSH 24 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic-Dissociation | Emotional detachment) 11:41

4+ y ago11:41

11:41

Heal in Place. Fill your Still. Dissociation | Emotional detachment. Dissociation, or emotional detachment, is a defense mechanism used to cope with highly stressful or overwhelming emotions. It is a disconnection between your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. I avoided dealing with traumatic memories and negative emotions which was caused by my t…

1
TSSH 23 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic-spirituality) 12:30

4+ y ago12:30

12:30

Heal in place. Fill your still. Spirituality. During these unusual and uncertain times, I created mini-podcasts to share the resources I used on my healing journey. Many of you cannot attend your place of religious worship so I thought spirituality might be a helpful topic to cover. In 2014, I hit rock bottom – hard. During my recovery from severe …

1
TSSH 22 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic-emotionally immature parents) 9:59

4+ y ago9:59

9:59

Heal in Place. Fill your Still. Emotionally Immature Parents. During these uncertain and anxious times, I have created mini-podcasts to share the resources I used on my healing journey. If you are sheltering in place, perhaps use this time of no distractions to acquire new healing strategies. If you are like how I used to be…a chaotic emotional fir…

1
TSSH 21 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic-codependency) 10:58

4+ y ago10:58

10:58

Heal in place. Fill your still. Codependency. During these very scary times, I am creating mini-podcasts to share the resources I used on my healing journey in a more direct way. Most of us may be sheltering in place –with no distractions and also no escape. If you are like the old erratically busy me…this “stillness” may be torture. If you have wo…

1
TSSH 20 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic-abandonment) 12:08

4+ y ago12:08

12:08

Heal in place. Fill your still. Abandonment. During these unusual and uncertain times, I thought it would help to create mini-podcasts to share the resources I used on my healing journey in a more direct way. Most of us may be sheltering in place –with no distractions and also no escape. If you are like the old erratically busy me…this “stillness” …

1
TSSH 19 - Minding Your Fulfillness-business is Prophetable 26:44

4+ y ago26:44

26:44

"Uncertainty is one of the most difficult human experiences. Uncertainty means not having control over what might happen to us. We don’t do so well when we don’t have a sense of control – we may feel more anxious and more depressed and be more susceptible to pain and physical illnesses. Because a sense of control is so vital to our health and well-…

1
TSSH 18 - overly responsiBULLoney 🐃+💩 48:10

4+ y ago48:10

48:10

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been over-responsible. I was overly connected to vibes and energy, I was hypervigilant and hyper attuned to my surroundings and was expected to read minds (particularly my deaf mother) by the time from birth and I learned that I must try to be as pleasing as possible even if it hurt. I’m not alone. I was raised t…

1
TSSH 17 - LegGO of my EGgO 👉 🧇 👈 41:40

4+ y ago41:40

41:40

The English word "ego" is the Latin word for “I.” Literally translated, ego means “I.” It is the ego sense of self that identifies and neutralizes perceived threats. It is the ego that often views life as a competition for the limited resources. All experiences of fear and resentment are directly related to perceived threats. Referred to as the ‘mo…

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Tami R Atman Podcasts

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