Huge news: I'm now offering natal chart readings! You can book one HERE. Listen for more details, including how you can win a free reading, + a fascinating interview with data scientist Alex Boxer, author of A Scheme of Heaven: The History of Astrology and the Search for Our Destiny in Data. Purchase his book HERE. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website / Ins…

More Taurus earthiness, immortality, Ashton Kutcher + Mila Kunis and their Quarantine Pinot Noir, and a discussion on wine with veteran sommelier Zoe Wilkins. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website / Instagram / Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan MagazineBy Jess Abbott

Taurus season, societal shifts, Chris Crocker, We Are The Union, and a discussion on the recent rise of OnlyFans sex work with OnlyFans content creator Blake. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website / Instagram / Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan MagazineBy Jess Abbott

Aries season, our personal and collective nemeses, Becky Lynch, Ratboys, and a discussion on the world of professional wrestling with wrestler, musician, and cohost of Grap Grrrlz podcast Shahnaz Zarif. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website / Instagram / Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine…

All bets are off. Join me for some quarantine stress relief. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website / Instagram / Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan MagazineBy Jess Abbott

Saturn moving into Aquarius, a mini forecast, and Mulan. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website / Instagram / Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan MagazineBy Jess Abbott

Mercury Retrograde, Pisces season, a mini forecast, Kaina, and a discussion on the names of the planets with etymological investigation enthusiast Helen Zaltzman. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website / Instagram / Twitter Become an Inkblot Astrology contributions at Hooligan MagazineBy Jess Abbott

Valentine's Day, Cupid, J. Lo + Shakira's halftime show, the Grammy's, the Iowa Caucus, the Impeachment Trial, and a sign compatibility segment with Jenny Owen Youngs. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website / Instagram / Twitter Become an Inkblot Read Jess' astrology contributions at Hooligan MagazineBy Jess Abbott

Uranus, the 2020 U.S. Primary election, Aquarius season, Slow Pulp, and an interview with Democratic strategist Ryan O'Donnell. Click here for the 2020 Primary election dates by state. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website / Instagram / Twitter Become an Inkblot Read Jess' astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine…

Mars, the New Year, astrology memes, Adam Sandler, Capricorn season, Big Thief, and an interview with Courtney Perkins of @notallgeminis. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. Website / Instagram / Twitter Become an Inkblot Read Jess' astrology contributions at Hooligan MagazineBy Jess Abbott

Happy New Year! This week we bid Chris adieu in his final episode, discuss Astrology Apps: which to take into the New Year and which to leave in dusty 2019, plus an Astro Probe with music journalist Dan Ozzi. Stay tuned for an all new show in 2020. Explore the dark, at InkblotAstrology.com This week's advice: 1. How do I stop being reclusive and st…

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! This week we celebrate with a special episode on the Harry Potter Houses. We sort the 4 elements, 12 signs, and ourselves, with guest host Hrishikesh Hirway of podcasts Song Exploder + West Wing Weekly and musical projects The One A.M. Radio + Moors. This week's advice: 1. My family is moving away, should I stay where I am or move w…

This week we bore Chris with the Aspects, wind down the educational content of the pod, talk wrestling, money spending, Chris vows to stop talking about s*x, plus an Astro Probe with musician Shamir. This week's advice: 1. What advice would you give to the WWE to be a more entertaining show? 2. What would you do with $100 mil and how does that rela…

This week we talk about the Lunar Nodes, the ecliptic, the Russian whale jail, several ninja turtles, + more, plus an Astro Probe with musician and cartoonist Tommy Siegel of bands Jukebox the Ghost and Narc Twain. This week's advice: 1. A lot of my chart is earth and air but lately I've been crying a lot, why is that? 2. I found out I was the side…

This week we talk about the 12 houses, Howard Sasportas, why the 13th sign is fake news, a barfing dog, dunk tanks, + more, plus an Astro Probe with Frankie of NY based band Macseal. This week's advice: 1. My crush shot me down and it hurts being friends, how do I let go? 2. How can I make my Cancer s/o feel loved and appreciated? 3. My s/o wants u…

HaPpY ThAnKsGiViNg!!! In this ep we all go to Hooters for Friendsgiving with Chris' beautiful wife Cassie Farren, where we examine Chris and Cassie's charts using what we've learned so far. This week's advice: 1. How can I remedy my blunt Capricorn lack of filter when I'm depressed? 2. How do twins work within astrology? 3. I've become so used to l…

This week we discuss Pluto and why it's no longer a planet, Disney freaks, A Goofy Movie, RIP Walter Mercado, the first bands Chris and Jess were in, that Calvin Klein lesbian poster, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with bbweems, the new solo project of Abby Weems from Potty Mouth. This week's advice: 1. Are astrology tattoos tacky? 2. My band ask…

This week we discuss Neptune, the current Mercury Retrograde, the unfortunate way in which bears hibernate, Chris' new 55" tv, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Kevin Devine. This week's advice: 1. How can I make my partner more comfortable with having sex more often? 2. My partner is usually earthy and grounded while I am watery and ungrounded…

Your astro hosts enjoy a candle lit dinner at the local Red Lobster. We review the 12 signs, compare them to Red Lobster menu items, and catch up w Chris on where he's at w astrology. This week's advice: 1. What are your craziest schemes on how to get my first kiss? 2. Does astrology apply to dogs? 3. What are your tips for getting over a bad break…

ITS A HALLOWEEN EP. We watched all 3 Screams and talked about the characters as sign/planet archetypes, our Halloween costumes, Pixar depression, 90s lesbian fashion, Mojo Jojo, astrology apps, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Mike Kinsella of American Football + Owen. This week's advice: 1. What's the $30 astrology app y'all talk about? 2. I …

In our sweet 16 ep we review Saturn, discuss the outer planets, get deep inside Uranus, Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, The Parent Trap, Jeff Foxworthy, Ben Franklin, the Purge, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Jaclyn O'Connell of Philly-based company Bittersweet Media. This week's advice: 1. Do people with conflicting signs in their chart tend to …

This week we talk about Saturn, Amanda Bynes' vagina, the college admissions scandal, Beauty & the Beast, 50 Shades of Chris, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Evan Weiss of Chicago-based band Into It. Over It. This week's advice: 1. How do I move past the feeling of being incapable and inferior? 2. How do I stop being jealous in relationships?…

CHRIS IS HOME FROM TOUR. This week we talk about the four Elements, pool jet orgasms, Rain-X, Jessica Rabbit, Chris' hypothetical murder podcast, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Hrishikesh Hirway of podcasts Song Exploder + West Wing Weekly and of musical projects The One A.M. Radio + Moors. This week's advice: 1. I'm 16 and stressed that I w…

Another advice marathon 4 u. Regular episodes return NEXT WEEK. This week's advice: 1. I was born early, does this impact my sun sign? 2. I'm frustrated with my own emotions, how can I nurture my moon? 3. My bf just moved away, how can I make my LDR work? 4. Does astrology influence your impressions of people? 5. How can I find balance in my work a…

Chris is still away on tour so Jess and Producer Jenny have a slumber party-style Girls Night, complete with face masks/pajamas/snacks, astrology review, gossip about hot people, + Jenny's List, featuring an Astro Probe with Leah Wellbaum of LA-based band Slothrust. This week's advice: 1. Should I move in w my partner or stay living w my parents? 2…

This week we SWAP ROLES. Chris teaches Jess about something he loves that she knows nothing about — Tom Cruise's Edge of Tomorrow (2014) — and this time we give Producer Jenny A MIC (despite her very tender sore throat), featuring an Astro Probe with Samira Winter of LA-based band Winter. This week's advice: 1. What is an N Node? And how do people …

This week we talk Jupiter, Jess' ghost story, cat invasions, Boston terriers, letting ppl touch your lemons, emo Magellan, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Steph Knipe of Adult Mom. This week's advice: 1. The U.S. sucks, should I move to Canada? 2. How do I make things less awkward with one of my co-workers? 3. Is it worth continuing my long d…

This week we talk Mars, candy bars, aphrodisiacs, Anchor Man, Winnie the Pooh, homeschool kids, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Sarah Tudzin of LA-based band Illuminati Hotties. This week's advice: 1. How many babies should I have? 2. I'm starting college, how do I survive and make friends? 3. Can Jess expand on how her brand of astrology isn…

This week with an audience of live spiders we discuss Venus, gravitational embraces, Oedipus, Banksy, prog rock, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Ally Einbinder, bassist of LA based band Potty Mouth. This week's advice: 1. How can my wife and I relight the flame? 2. I landed my dream job but my bosses always fight and make my environment bad, …

This week we take a break from teaching Chris astrology and launch our first advice marathon, featuring an Astro Probe with Conor Murphy, vocalist of St. Louis based bands Foxing and Smidley. This week's advice: 1. Does being born on the cusp of two signs bear much significance? 2. How do you stay hopeful about connecting with others? 3. My life fe…

This week we discuss Mercury (including retrograde), Gen Z, immortality, Deadpool, + more. This week's advice: 1. How do you ask someone for their natal chart without it being weird? 2. How would astrology work if you were born on another planet? 3. Is it crazy to purchase someone else's birth certificate online to make their natal chart? Website /…

This week writer/comedian/actor Brittany Ashley joins us to discuss The List, where we look at the sun/moon signs of all our romantic partners and dissect our love patterns. We also introduce a NEW SEGMENT HEHE called Astro Probe, where we lightning round guests with 3 personal questions. This week's advice: 1. How do I find love in a dating app ag…

This week we discuss the Moon, moms, the WB frog, Hooters, + more. This week's advice: 1. In new relationships, when is it necessary to bring up my ex-fiancé who left me for someone else? 2. I need a mattress for $400 or less, what should I get? 3. I recently discovered I am a Pisces-Aquarius cusp, what sort of changes should I make based on this i…

In our third episode we discuss the Rising Sign (with the assistance of a maraca), Snooki, The Sopranos, classic rock bass lines, + more. This week's advice: 1. Every time I hang out with the person I've been seeing she wants to get drunk, but I want to try hanging out sober. What do I do? 2. What has helped you keep going when you've felt stuck? 3…

In our second episode we discuss the 12 signs and their corresponding vehicles, the number of udders a cow has, seeking retribution from your dentist, + more. This week's advice: 1. How do I get my therapist to stop bringing astrology into my sessions? 2. Do certain signs attract or repel other signs? 3. I'm in a depressive episode and usually chop…

In our first episode we discuss the natal chart, the Big 3, why we don't trust moms, Long John Silver's, our therapists, + more. This week's advice: 1. My significant other is flirting with someone else and I only know about it because I secretly read their texts 2. I have a crush on a guy at work and someone told me he's into me, should I make a m…

Astro Blast is a new weekly podcast hosted by student of astrology Jess Abbott and hot guy Chris Farren. Each week Jess tries to get Chris into astrology, and together they give advice on life, love, and the stars above.

The Principality of Antioch outlasted the Norman Kingdom of Sicily by a century, and its founder by nearly two. This unlikely survivor was a testament to the restless Norman Spirit which had carried their arms triumphantly to the borders of the Medieval Christian world. Join Lars Brownworth as he concludes the history of the Normans and looks back …

The First Crusade fell like a present into Bohemond's lap. Italy wasn't big enough for his ambitions (especially with his uncle blocking him at every turn) and now here was an opportunity to win fame and wealth in the east, and to look pious while doing it. What better way to prove himself worthy of his father than by accomplishing Guiscard's glitt…

A great father can be both a blessing and a curse, and no one was more aware of that than Bohemond de Hauteville. The first-born son of the adventurer Robert Guiscard, Bohemond spent most of his formative years trying to both prove himself worthy and escape his father's formidable shadow. At every turn, however, fate seemed to conspire against him.…

Frederick II was the most polarizing figure to rule as king of Sicily. To some he was the antichrist - a heretical monster whose harem and open contempt of Christianity was the scandal of civilized Europe. To others, however, he was Stupor Mundi - the 'wonder of the world'. He was in many ways a walking contradiction. A German Emperor who was raise…

Tancred of Lecce came to the throne of Sicily in its darkest hour. Mocked by his critics as the 'Monkey King', he was weakened by civil and religious unrest, and faced invasion by the mighty German Empire. But he never gave up, and through a mixture of energy and courage he fought his enemies at every step. His struggle against impossible odds illu…

William II presided over a golden age of internal peace and prosperity, and when he died suddenly in the flower of his youth, he was mourned as no other king of Sicily. Yet, while he may have been outwardly splendid, he wasn't a good ruler. If there was peace it was accidental; he committed the kingdom to ruinous foreign adventures, and squandered …

If Roger II had been the 'baptized Sultan', his son William forgot the water. Despised by his legendary father and never intended for the throne, William the Bad dedicated his life to the comforts of the palace, stirring only to lead his armies on the battlefield, the one area in which he excelled. Though he could at times be energetic and even bri…

In the Spring of 1133 the new Norman Kingdom of Sicily seemed about to be shattered. Roger II, its creator and first king had backed the anti-Pope Anacletus II to gain his crown and in the process earned the hostility of most of Europe. Ranged against him were the emperors of both East and West, the most powerful cleric in Christendom - Bernard of …

Roger II was never supposed to inherit his father's possessions. He was the youngest of 18 children, and only five when the Great Count died. The nobility dutifully pledged their allegiance but there seemed little chance that his mother - an Italian foreigner in the Norman court - could hold the regency until he matured. And yet, against the odds R…

Roger de Hauteville was a strange conqueror. The youngest of twelve sons he was the last to come to Italy and treated as the least capable of the siblings by a jealous Guiscard. His first raid in Sicily was a disaster that seemed to confirm the worst suspicions about him. But Roger persevered and over three decades he managed to carve out a kingdom…

By 1071 Robert Guiscard had risen to the height of power in Italy. The grumbling Lombards had been forced to grovel before him, the proud Norman barons recognized him as their unquestioned lord, and one of the greatest medieval popes depended on him for protection. But Robert was still restless and his eyes turned across the seas to the greatest pr…

Robert Guiscard arrived in Italy as a simple knight, hoping to benefit from his brother's wealth and power. Instead he found his path blocked at every turn by petty jealousy and was sent off to rot in the most inhospitable place his sibling could think of. From these difficult beginnings, against the odds, Robert would build a base of power so form…

In Duke Richard II's Normandy an impoverished knight named Tancred de Hauteville struggled to provide for his twelve sons. The eldest of them - William - declined his inheritance and headed to southern Italy to seek his trade as a mercenary. He was the first of the Normans to set foot in Sicily and, under the service of a Byzantine general, he foun…