992-Finding Freedom: How to End a Relationship with Anxious Attachment

Counselor Toolbox Podcast with DocSnipes

**Summary: Ending a Relationship When You’re Anxiously Attached by Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes**

[Watch the video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS53N-Evz4Q)

**Outline Summary:**

1. **Introduction**

- Presenter: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes

- Topic: Ending a relationship when you’re anxiously attached

- Definition of anxious attachment

2. **Characteristics of Anxious Attachment**

- Need for relationships to feel safe

- Fear of rejection and abandonment

- Fight or Fawn response to stress

- Dependence on others for validation

- Difficulty setting and maintaining boundaries

3. **Causes of Anxious Attachment**

- Poor child-caregiver relationships

- Trauma and unpredictability in early life

- Experiences in significant relationships

4. **Challenges in Ending Unhealthy Relationships**

- Feeling like a failure

- Opening old wounds from past relationships

- Confusing self-worth with relationship success

5. **Steps to Begin Healing**

- Motivational interviewing and decisional balance

- Identifying benefits and drawbacks of the relationship

- Exploring alternative ways to meet needs

6. **Addressing Unhelpful Thoughts**

- Cognitive distortions: All-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, minimizing, personalizing, mind reading

- Listing needs the relationship is supposed to fulfill

- Identifying and challenging beliefs about the relationship

7. **Creating a Safety Net and Relapse Prevention**

- Establishing boundaries and support systems

- Practicing mindfulness

- Focusing on progress rather than perfection

8. **Emotional Responses and Coping Mechanisms**

- Recognizing and addressing feelings of grief and loss

- Having self-compassion

- Engaging with support systems to prevent relapse

**Time Codes for Major Points:**

0:00 Introduction by Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes

2:15 Characteristics of Anxious Attachment

9:45 Causes of Anxious Attachment

15:30 Challenges in Ending Unhealthy Relationships

20:50 Steps to Begin Healing

28:10 Addressing Unhelpful Thoughts

35:40 Creating a Safety Net and Relapse Prevention

Feel free to ask if you need further details or a more in-depth explanation on any part of the video!

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