Trauma bonding WITHOUT the abuse?!

Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab

Today, I want to talk about a question I've been asked multiple times: Can you experience a trauma bond without overt abuse? I've heard variations of this question from various people over time, clients included. The core issue is feeling the signs of a trauma bond without clearly labeling your partner's behavior as abusive.

I've dealt with this in my own life, and I get it. The thing is, abuse isn't always blatant; it can be subtle, like manipulation and gaslighting. Growing up, we often learned to recognize abuse as something clear and physical. But the truth is, the more insidious forms of abuse, like manipulation, can be even more damaging because they're less obvious.

Let me share a client's story. She was in a relationship for years, feeling miserable but hesitant to call it abusive because her partner never physically hurt her. In one session, she said she wished he had hit her because then she'd have clear justification to leave. This revealed a common misconception: abuse doesn't always have to be physical.

It depends on factors like personality and attachment style. If you're highly empathic or conscientious, you might internalize blame and responsibility unnecessarily. I've seen it happen – partners being short or aggressive, and instead of addressing it, you take on the responsibility to fix things, leading to self-blame.

Let me be real; abuse comes in various forms: gaslighting, manipulation, criticism, even subtle threats. Emotional abuse activates the same brain responses as physical abuse. So, yes, you can experience a trauma bond without physical violence.

I want to share a resource with you – a free video on healing from trauma bonding. It's crucial to recognize abuse early to minimize the time spent in pain and self-doubt. Check out the link in the show notes or visit healtraumabonding.com. I hope this episode helps you on your journey.
Video training is here: www.healtraumabonding.com/sign-up
You can find me on Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy or www.healtraumabonding.com

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LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
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