Rise From Ashes: The Beginning

Rise From Ashes with Carol Gockel

Key Points

• Childhood message of my worth
• Different from my peers, the misconstrued idea of beauty
• Lack of Confidence from the skin condition
• Bad choices in boys, ended up losing myself after my divorce.
• Why I started coaching and why the podcast is called Rise From Ashes

Book a clarity call with Carol at http://bit.ly/BookCallCG

Ep. 1 Rise From Ashes with Carol Gockel

Burned, crashed, reduced to dust then rise from the ashes. In this episode, we have a very special guest whose dream is to inspire and empower people around the World.

She is a confidence coach, speaker, and author of the book Breakthrough with the legendary Les Brown. She is a mom of two, a loving daughter and a devoted wife. She believes that a model woman can juggle life, work and have it all, and any woman can have it all, too.

The danger of stereotyping

Stereotyping can be dangerous. Once fed to the mind of a young girl it will shape her future and will lead her to be in a box thinking there is no other way to be loved and accepted as she is. This was what Carol shared heard growing up:

(00:45 - 1:21) Now have you heard this, go to school, study hard, meet someone nice, get married, have kids than live happily ever after? Does it all sound familiar to you? That was what was taught to me since young, find my happily ever after. My own fairy tale. You see I was told to study hard, but don’t be too smart or I will not be attracting the attention
of the opposite sex. Take care of your looks or at least, you will look decent next to a man. Basically the message that I’ve got was “My worth is how well I look and how well I can marry”.
(1:22 - 1:50) I was told to stay away from the sun, tan skin is unattractive, for this girl who enjoys being in the
outdoors, I had to stay in the shade. But the disadvantage is I have yellow undertones, so I’ll look extremely sickly If I was fair. Behave like a girl, sit still, cross your legs, eat with your mouth closed, brush your hair, brush your teeth
properly, and dress properly. All common etiquettes parents throw to young kids became like a chore to me.

Living Up To Society

Society’s standards vary depending on time, culture, gender and preference. Beauty and self-worth become so intertwined that most women would just decide to conform, even at a young age. Every girl thinks she’s pretty until society starts telling her she’s not. Carol was not exempt from this, she recounted her experience:

2:32-55 You know what’s funny thinking back I thought I was beautiful when I was a young child. As far as I can remember before the age of 5 or 6, I didn’t think there was any different from the girls around me. When did people start telling me why are you so tan? You’re not Chinese? And then they give me the look of disapproval of my skin tone after they found out that I am.

2:56-3:29 My grandmother would say, you should eat more, you’re too thin, thin girls are ugly my friends call me bugs bunny because my front teeth were sticking out so much I couldn’t close my mouth properly. I was so conscious of myself I started to shy away from people in order not to stand out. At the age of 15, my parents got me braces to fix my teeth. It was at the time when my friends are getting attention from boys and there I was during the awkward teenage time walking around with wires in my mouth.

Gaining Power

Unless you find a way to conquer what makes you insecure it will haunt you and pull you down. We do our best to protect our self, to survive without being hurt by others, this is what Carol did:

5:10 Because I wasn’t really a girly girl so I didn’t try to become like a girly girl and I behaved more like a boy to make myself tougher so that mean girls won’t get to me.

5:24-6:00 I tried to
talk tough behave like a no-nonsense straight-talking authority figure. To me having the power means I was somebody I would rather people fear me than to have them bully me. So I sort out boys with authority that boys so I can get protected from those who are mean to me.

5:45 If I was someone’s girl I would be the queen you see bad boys don’t negotiate they don’t listen and they certainly don’t respect the opinions of others they take and take and when they don’t get what they want resort to bullying.

6:01-14 Being young I have at least some kind of self-worth since when they start becoming mean I would really walk away from the relationship. But to be frank I was still a child what do I know about relationship right?

7:28-35 To be better I have to change everything that I am that statement was effect I need to change to be better.

Turning point

Not all who seem to want to empower us, mean well. Sometimes this backfires and will lead us in a place worse than we started. But in Carol’s case after her marriage ended, she used it as an eye-opener, to build herself up and other women as well.

9:16-10:14 After this experience, I told myself there must be many women who are going through these experiences. Divorce, someone who has lived under the shadows of their partners being under their thumbs, women who reduced to little to nothing, demeaned and lost. They need someone who have been through something similar to walk with them on the journey to self-discovery, rediscover their light and confidence within. That’s why I got into coaching to help women uncover their inner power to be the shining star they are meant to be the shining being that they want to be. I have been beaten, trashed and burned, reduced to ashes and have risen from the ashes like a Phoenix. And I want other females who have been through similar situation in order to do so.

Key Takeaways:

1. Focus on creating an overall positive image of yourself.

2. Your worth is not defined by society.

3. Realize that you can shine as you are and you will be powerful.

4. Have the confidence to face and overcome your fears.

5. Always decide to change for the better.

Key Resources:

Visit Carol’s site:https://www.carolgockel.com/

Connect Carol’s LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolgockel/

Follow Carol on Instagram: @carolgockel

Check Carol on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/carolgockel

Check out Carol’s Podcast site: https://shor.by/carolgockel