Zombie My Baby Tonight

Tonic Pop

Shaun of the Dead.

How to become a romantic lead in your own life as shown by the unlikeliest of romantic leads.
Director: Edgar Wright

Writers: Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright
Budget:

GBP4,000,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend USA:

$3,300,000, 26 September 2004

Gross USA:

$13,542,874

Cumulative Worldwide Gross:

$30,076,102

Summary: Shaun is dumped by Liz, his girlfriend because he is a slacker and lacks motivation. He doesn't put a lot of effort into their relationship. Shaun loves her and wants to win her back. His plans, however, are interrupted by the Zombie Apocalypse. So he and his even more deadbeat, slacker friend, Ed, embark on a courageous journey to rescue Shaun's mum, his stepfather, Liz and Liz's flatmates and take them to the safety of the local pub, The Winchester.
It has all the hallmarks of satire. Irony, commentary on current social issues. But is it Romantic comedy satire? Action film satire? It plays with a bunch of the usual tropes found in these genres. It really is a multi-genre weave. The portmanteau ‘RomZomCom’ has been coined to describe it. In simplicity it is a romantic comedy wrapped in a zombie flick. The zombies are representing the challenges that are often faced in a relationship story. Shaun of the Dead is like a video game where the hero character must battle through different levels to win – in this case win back – the heart of his love. Edgar Wright used a similar game play concept in Scott Pilgrim Vs the World.
I think the Brits do the “everyman” romantic lead well and Simon Pegg is evidence of that.

So what are some lessons that we can draw from Shaun’s character arc that lead him back to his being with his love.
1. The influence of toxic friendships. Not FRIENDS per se but friendSHIPS.

Ed, played by Nick Frost, is Shaun’s bestie. The writers establish their relationship and backstory early and show how their relationship affects other relationships.

So, what began as a triangle, with Shaun, Liz and Ed at its points has turned into something much more complicated. It’s a Gordian knot which never becomes untangled but becomes more manageable and balanced as we’ll see later in the story.
In remaining tight with Ed, Shaun seems to be clinging to his childhood and the avoidance of responsibilities that come with maturity. As horrible as it is the zombie outbreak provides a coerced opportunity to step up and take on a hero’s obligation.

We are all guilty of being on the wrong side of this – of at times letting a digital 3rd wheel into our relationships. Maybe we’ve been the victims of it.

An unhealthy relationship with a virtual third wheel leads to phone snubbing or “phubbing,”.

We can list thousands of advantages to the tech in our hands but do we seriously consider the downsides particularly the effect on our interpersonal relationships?

Just as Shaun could be in the same space as Liz but not truly present, do we find ourselves sharing space with someone but because of a device in our hands, we are detached from the moment?
It used to be that the big 3 disputes for couples' were sex, money, and kids but now smartphones are joining that club.

In a study from Baylor University's researchers surveyed 453 adults to find out the real effects of phubbing. Phubbing is defined in the study as “the extent to which people use or are distracted by their cellphones while in the company of their relationship partners."

It was found that those who were phubbed by their partners felt conflict that led to lower relationship satisfaction. “These lower levels of relationship satisfaction, in turn, led to lower levels of life satisfaction and, ultimately, higher levels of depression," explained one of the study's authors, Dr. James A. Roberts.

Another study from Brigham Young University examined the same issue and the researchers concluded that phubbing, or what the researchers coined ‘technoference’ (but mouth – I prefer phubbing,) can be damaging not just to a relationship but to a person’s psychological health as well.

Overall, participants who rated more technoference in their relationships also reported more conflict over the use of tech – particularly smartphones and consequent lower relationship satisfaction, more depressive symptoms, and lower life satisfaction. By allowing technology to interfere with or interrupt conversations, activities, and time with romantic partners—even when unintentional or for brief moments—individuals may be sending implicit messages about what they value most, leading to conflict and negative outcomes in personal life and relationships.
So while it’s probably no surprise to anybody but the most dense among us that technology can be a catalyst for annoyance and conflict what this study is showing is that a person’s engagement with technology can actually send their partner into depression.

Another study done on young adult relationships, which was published in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture showed a significant link between higher levels of dependency on smartphones and higher levels of relationship uncertainty. Not only that but participants who observed that their partners seemed highly dependent on their smartphone were significantly less satisfied in their relationships than those that didn’t note dependency.

Why? What is it about smartphones?
Because often it feels, that you are having an emotional affair right in front of the very person you are supposed to be truly engaged with.

The mentioned studies and many more that have been conducted conclude that phubbing feels like rejection – and maybe it feels like that because that’s what it is and it hurts.
“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.”
― Albus Dumbledore

When you are mid conversation, mid-meal, enjoying a show together, having any romantic moment and your virtual third wheel interrupts and you give it your attention what is that saying to the other person in the room?
“My phone is more important than you right now,”
We create a rubbish mountain of repeated rejections, many are just mini-rejections but they add to the pile that that eventually consumes the home and under the weight of that mountain peace and joy are crushed to death.

All of these studies have shown that it is not smartphone use, in general, that affects relational health. There is no need Rather it is the “psychological reliance on these devices, and one’s need to constantly be connected with his or her smartphone, that potentially affects relationships and not actual use.”
Some questions we could ask t thao determine whether a phone has become a negative 3rd wheel include:
Is my phone causing emotional infidelity?
Do I unwittingly or unthinkingly ignore your partner or kids etc. when you’re gazing at the phone?

Is it so noticeable and blatant tha...