Ep31 Let Them Struggle: Enabling & Overfunctioning

This Whole Life

"We should strive to keep our hearts open to the sufferings and wretchedness of other people, and pray continually that God may grant us that spirit of compassion which is truly the spirit of God."
~ St. Vincent de Paul

➡️"Snowplow" parenting, friendship, or marriage
➡️Trying to fix other people's problems
➡️Over-functioning
We care so deeply for our loved ones, and it pains us to watch them struggle and suffer. Sometimes it is good and necessary to help alleviate their suffering. But all of us are tempted to cross the line into interfering in others' lives in order to assuage our own discomfort. But where is the line, and how is over-functioning harmful to people and relationships?
Using real-life examples and their unique perspectives as therapist, minister, and parents, Kenna and Pat discuss the dangers of "snowplowing" and the impact it can have on personal growth and relationships. They also reflect on the profound suffering endured by Jesus and his mother, and how their example can guide us in supporting our loved ones in the midst of their own struggles. Join us as we explore together the beautiful opportunity to sit with our loved ones in their hardship and, at the same time, offer them the gift of growth and resilience.
Chapters:
0:00: Intro & Highs and Hards
12:26: Introduction to overfunctioning
18:02: Overfunctioning is about MY discomfort, not my loved one’s
23:15: Examples of overfunctioning in film & Scripture
31:08: Mary as a witness of sitting with someone in the struggle
40:31: Challenge By Choice
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Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration
Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

Chapters

1. Introduction and Highs & Hards (00:00:00)

2. Introduction to overfunctioning & sitting in the struggle (00:12:26)

3. Overfunctioning is about MY discomfort, not my loved one's (00:18:02)

4. Examples of overfunctioning in film & in Scripture (00:23:15)

5. Mary as a witness of sitting with someone in their struggles (00:31:08)

6. Challenge By Choice (00:40:31)