Will they abuse anyone, or are we just incompatible? A trauma bond story.
Manage episode 385857934 series 3491184
In today's discussion, I want to explore a question I've been asked recently—an important one that has recurred throughout my experiences. The question essentially boils down to whether the issues in a traumatic bond stem from the dynamics between the individuals involved, the abuser's inherent nature, or personal factors within oneself.
The answer, succinctly put, lies in all these components. Typically, in a trauma bond, one person exhibits narcissistic traits, presenting themselves as superior and prone to critical or threatening behavior. This individual is categorized as the "abusive party." On the other side is the person with empathic traits, high on the anxiety scale, is categorized as the "anxious empath."
The compatibility in this toxic dynamic arises from the anxiously attached person's vulnerabilities. When the abusive partner criticizes and manipulates, it aligns with the anxiously attached person's fears of inadequacy and abandonment. Similarly, the avoidant traits of the abuser, pulling away when things get too close, match the anxiously attached person's fear of rejection.
The key to breaking this cycle isn't changing the abuser but cultivating security and strength within oneself. The path to healing involves understanding that one cannot change others and focusing on personal growth and resilience. I encourage you to take steps toward your own healing, and for further guidance, check out a free video training on trauma bonding linked on my video here:
www.healtraumabonding.com/sign-up
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LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
info@healtraumabonding.com
88 episodes