Relationship-smart women want to learn how to transform their intimate relationships. We feel frustrated, disconnected and lack-lustre, but we are done with blaming our partners. We are ready to do our bit to make things better so that we feel more connected, more alive and more truly ourselves. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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65. All the pressures on the female libido
38:05
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In this episode I explore a bunch of pressures on female libido that I see over an over and yet are not commonly thought of as desire stoppers. I am hoping that this episode feels hopeful and gives you lots of options for healing and exploration where you otherwise may have been feeling stuck. This episode does come with the trigger warning of the …
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64. Why we don't always love your solutions
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Solutions are good right? I am just trying to help. Yes, but we actually find it really frustrating when we are sharing an issue and our partner jumps straight to solutions. Why is that? What is going on here? And what do we want and need instead? Listen to this episode as we explore what is going on with not always loving solutions. About Nicole N…
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63. How to be who we truly are in relationship?
55:05
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In this episode, I talk to my beautiful, soulful friend Kris Franken. So many people ask me how they can find themselves, be true to themselves and still be in relationship. It can be tricky to navigate. We fear that if we change and become more true to ourselves that we will lose our partner. We fear that authenticity and integrity means loss of c…
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Does your partner have sex tantrums? How does it make you feel? How do they feel? What is going on and how do you get out of the downward spiral of need, guilt, obligation, and then less desire? Listen in as we unpack this very common dynamic, try not to generalise too much, and as I give you a few pointers to get back to sex without the guilt, anx…
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Intimacy (and I am not talking about sex), in my opinion is one of the hardest things in the whole world, but also, something that gives us the deepest most heart fulfilling satisfaction. Gah, what a dilemma! It would be so much easier if we could just get all operational and robotic and not have to have those hard conversations, get vulnerable and…
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Hello ,it's me Nicole Mathieson and I would like to introduce you to my brand new podcast; The Beauty Load, How to feel good enough in your body. This podcast is inspired by my book also called the Beauty Load in which I explore this exhausting pressure, anxiety and insecurity that many if not all women feel in regards to the way they look. In this…
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60: Slow living for better relationships with Rachelle Glendon
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In this episode we talk to Slow Living coach Rachelle Glendon about the benefits of concsiously slowing down on all of our relationships. In this chat we talk about; * implementing some matriachal ways, which sound so good * tips for slowing down * how slow living challenges your own unhealthy beliefs and invites healing * how slow living moves you…
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059: Why body image is a relationship issue
20:56
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Why is a relationship coach / therapist writing a book about body image I hear you ask? That's because the Beauty Load, body image, how we feel about ourselves and our confidence with fitting in in the world, are all relationship issues. I don't know about you but my body was front and centre as I stepped into relationship and sexual intimacy as a …
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058: Your man doesn't "get" your Beauty Load stress
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Sometimes we feel wrong for feeling the Beauty Load, especially when our males partner's or friends just don't get it. But the stress and concern of the Beauty Load is real and in this episode I share an example that demonstrates how differently the Load is experienced, generally speaking, by women and men. Buy the book The Beauty Load www.nicolema…
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057: The Beauty Load intro author reading
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In this special Beauty Load episode of the podcast, I am reading the first chapter (the introduction) of my new book The Beauty Load, how to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. The message of my book is basically that you feeling not "enough" about your looks is not personal, it is not about you and your looks but instead it is inevitable …
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056: What NOT to do with trauma and big emotions
17:19
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There is a lot going on in the world at the moment that can leave us feeling a bit or a lot traumatised. I am inspired to share this "what not to do" episode, because of what I see happening around me, and that is people who have been through a lot, not allowing themselves the space and nurture they need, because there are others struggling more th…
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055: How to recover from body image shame
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12:11
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If there is one thing the Beauty Load pressure leaves us women with, it is a sense of shame. We are shamed on so many fronts on all aspects of our body and appearance. In this episode I explore the shame, grandiosity loop and how we can get out of it to create a new culture, at least for ourselves. The Beauty Load book out April 2022 Instagram: @ni…
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054: A few reasons why I wrote another beauty book
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There are a lot of books out there about loving our body and the issues that come with it, so why have I written another book about it? In this episode I share with you my motivations for writing this book: -from my own struggles with feeling enough -to the impact the Beauty Load has on my clients and friends -seeing women in Cuba who didn't seem t…
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053: Managing stress in your relationship
18:50
18:50
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How do you manage stress in your relationship? How does it feel when your partner is stressed? How do you respond? How do they respond to you? Stress can be a really disconnecting force in a relationship if it goes unmanaged. In this episode I share with you, how I dealt with my husband's stress really badly and how I repaired on that occassion. I …
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In this episode, I speak to Emily, who with her partner Sean, created Yum cards for couples. We talk about how these cards help couples reconnect and why reconnecting feels so darn yum! You can check out the cards here playyum.com For more go to nicolemathieson.com @nicole_mathieson_coach Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…
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051: You are not going to get rid of your suffering
11:48
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You are not going to get rid of your suffering and that's okay. We do not need to be wrapped in cotton wool and protected from all the harshness to be okay, which is great, because it would probably be pretty isolating there. We are going to suffer, the trick is to not panic about it. Not to panic about the fear, the anxiety, the sadness, the pain,…
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050: Your libido needs you to find you a bit sexier
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How does the way you look or feel in your body influence your desire? Research shows that us women, in general, need to feel ourselves sexy in order to feel desire. We need to feel sexy in our bodies, our minds, our energies and our imaginations first before we can share ourselves. Does that resonate with you? Come with me on this podcast journey w…
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We want certainty in our relationships. We say..."I'll be happy when there is a ring on my finger or we buy that house or we have kids or whatever" Which makes sense, we are human and certainty feels secure. But the cementing in (the grasping for certainty) is also the very thing creating the stuckness that leads us to resentment and eventually a d…
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048: Navigating break ups with Mackenzie Eason
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Break ups can be devastating. They are without a doubt big events in our lives. Which is why we need Mackenzie, a break-up specialist. Mackenzie and I chat about the sometimes rough and tumultuous phase break-ups. She herself has navigated 2 very different break-ups; one toxic and one conscious and shares her wisdom with us. We chat about: -her bre…
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So much happens to your relationship and your sex life after you have kids. Everything changes. Your roles, your sex life, how you spend your time, how you see each other and that's not to mention your expectations of each other. It is big! How do you as a couple, cope with all this change and stress? It can be super hard. Catherine Topham Sly from…
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This episode comes back to the basics of how to get grounded and centred and calm ourselves down, because you know.....life. It is super important, especially in our relationships. What is in your calm-down toolkit? Connect with me via Instagram - www.instagram.com/nicole_mathieson_coach/ or drop me an email - hi@nicolemathieson.com Hosted on Acast…
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Following on from Self regulation part 1, this episode explores the "how" of self regulation. How do you calm and soothe yourself so that you can be more of a rocking partner in your intimate relationships? Listen in to find out. Drop me an email hi@nicolemathieson.com or find out more at www.nicolemathieson.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/priva…
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Self regulation is sexy. Learning to calm and soothe yourself in your relationship is a skill that will help bring all the things to your relationship life that you want more of. In this episode I talk about the consequences of not having the capacity to self regulate. Then in the next episode, part 2, I share the "how". To get in touch, drop me an…
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043: How to manage relationships under lockdown
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In this episode my colleague Ebony from Little Window counselling comes and interviews me. Ebony asks me lots of questions about how to manage our relationships in these strange times of Covid19 and lockdown. We talk about: -The types of problems that people are having in their relationships -How to get time to connect -What to do if you don't feel…
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042: Managing anxiety part 2 - connecting deeper within
24:25
24:25
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Managing anxiety part 2 - Connecting deeper within How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on? There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has become more important than ever to skill-up and find ways …
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041: Managing anxiety part 1 - Mindfulness
17:14
17:14
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Managing anxiety part 1 - Mindfulness. How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on? There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has become more important than ever to skill upand find ways to soothe our…
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The mental load is a thing and it can cause disconnection in your most important and intimate relationships. Just this last week, I have personally been struggling with the mental load; feeling resentful, tired and cranky. I wanted to share how I dealt with the load and what strategies I have put in place to minimise the future build up of resentme…
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039: Communicate better in your relationship
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Communication with my husband about anything that mattered used to make me want to run in the other direction. I would try to say stuff, but I would always say it in all the wrong ways and we would just end up: getting defensive and critical of each other feeling hurt & misunderstood saying things we wish we hadn't and needing some space to calm do…
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038: Permission to be messy with Katie Dean
1:05:23
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Katie Dean is a woman who gives us permission to be ourselves; human. imperfect and messy. Listen as we chat about; The pressure we put on ourselves Katie's journey with breast implants How to embrace life's messiness You can find out more about Katie and grab her new book Messy over at www.ktdean.com.au or on her favourite platform, Instagram @ktd…
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037: Aging gracefully with Sirgun Lindsay German
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I am back talking to my dear friend and kundalini yoga teacher Sirgun Lindsay German. Today we are talking about aging gracefully. What happens to us as women when we are no longer pretty young things? What is our value as an older woman? How do we handle aging, menopause and growing older with grace? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more…
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036: Why we are not having much sex - A letter to your husband
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A letter to your husband with the reason we are not being intimate aka: having (much) sex. Hello honey, I just wanted to write and let you know a few things that I have been pondering about our sex life. Firstly, I just wanted to acknowledge you. I know that our sex life is a frustrating area of our relationship for you. I acknowledge that for you,…
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Does he even care about me? When I ask for more, then he pulls away from me. As far as the dance of intimacy goes, this is a common relational pattern. It goes something like this; You feel like you need more from your partner. More reassurance, care, love & affection and you need this to be okay. In fact, your need has become a kind of anxiety. Yo…
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034: I need you to be different with Sandi Phillips-Meyler
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Whenever I am feeling stuck or like I am neck deep in the struggle, there is one thing that always helps - listening to some Abraham Hicks. There is something about the way they continually bring the message back to the simple laws of what you focus on you attract - that reminds me of my power and makes it feel that little bit better. Which is why …
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033: How numb are your lady parts? with Tamra Mercieca
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Are your lady parts numb? How much feeling is down there? Tamra Mercieca is all about self-love, and she means on every level. Which means that Tamra really encourages us to love, and care for our vaginas. Tamra is the founder of Getting Naked, and Yoga for the Vagina. She is a Relationship and Self-Love Therapist, and an author. If the idea of get…
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032: Get off the orgasm train to revive your sex life
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I had a revelation recently, it was that the western culture of sexuality really didn’t suit me. In fact, I am pretty sure it doesn’t suit a lot of us. What I am talking about is our sexual narrative that sex always has to have the aim of orgasm. I see it like a train on the tracks. Once we get on the sex train – which could be in the form of touch…
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031: Sex is like food with Jacqueline Hellyer
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Are you ready for my first interview in 2 years?! Yes? Good! If your partner were to feed you eggplant for dinner every night, and you didn't like eggplant, you would say something. Sadly, we don't feel as expressive in the realms of sex and intimacy. We put up with offerings we don't like, year in, year out, and then wonder why we have "lost" our …
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Babe, I want to talk to you, but I can’t find the words, so I am writing to you instead. I want you to know that I am thinking of you and us. I know that you may not know this, because there is a chasm between us. It worries me. We haven’t exactly been very connected lately, have we? This letter to your husband is generic. It is not a personal lett…
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029: My partner won't go to counselling, what should I do?
20:23
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He won’t go to counselling, what should I do? This is a common tale in the realms of hetero-sexual relationships. The wife wants to go to couple counselling, but the husband does not. Can it be the other way around? Absolutely it can, but the man not wanting to go, is so common it is worth exploring. If this is you, I feel for you. This is a horrib…
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Clear out your relationship negativity When we talk about clearing your relationship negativity, what we are really talking about is clearing your resentment. So I am going to share with you; The 3 places where resentment really comes from The 3 destructive effects of resentment build up on your relationship 3 ways for you to release resentment Hos…
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027: How to find YOU in your relationship
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"I feel lost in my marriage. I don't even know who I am anymore!" This is a common cry from women in my relationship coaching office. Do you feel like YOU in your relationship? Like, really who you are? It can be easy to lose yourself when you are in a long-term relationship. It can be hard to tell where you start and they begin. It can be hard to …
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026: Stop the anger. 3 ways to feel more love in your relationship now.
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Several years ago, I was stuck in a dark place in my marriage. This darkness seeped out as anger – I would storm and bang around the house in a passive aggressive fury, without saying anything to my husband. It seeped out in my avoidance of intimacy – my libido was non-existent. It seeped out in my energetic output – he could feel my anger and woul…
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It is easy to make sense of this when we are stressed out by life, work, kids and pressure from every direction. Of course, we are going to have moments when we blow our tops. Is it such a problem? Well no, from time to time this is not a huge problem, especially if you are practicing the art of repair. The problem is when we get stuck in angry, bi…
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024: Why am I such a bitch to the one I love?
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You thought you were the only one who was mean to their beloved. Sadly, or perhaps, reassuringly, that is not the case. You are in good company. Being a bitch to the ones we love is common amongst us women. It is strange isn’t it, that the ones we love the most, get our most bitchy behaviour. On some level it makes sense, and we can justify it all,…
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023: 10 ways you could be damaging your marriage
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Are you worried that you are damaging your marriage? You find yourself being mean and bitchy to the one you love. You feel stuck in negative thoughts about your partner. And you know it is not working for you. In fact it doesn't even feel like you. You partner may not be perfect, but the last thing you want is to damage the good feeling, love and c…
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Do you feel sexy? In the past I never felt that sexy. But now something has changed. In fact, at this point in my life I am sexier than I have ever been and it has nothing to do with how I look. Listen in to find out what changed for me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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What happens to your relationship when you are tired and depleted. When you feel like all you have done all day, all week, all year is look after other people at the expense of your own needs? Well, you feel resentful and cranky, don’t you? In this episode I discuss how to bring more joy into your relationship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privac…
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021: Attachment style - Understand your attachment style, understand your relationship
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Understand your attachment style Relationships can be baffling. But there is a way to understand why we react the way we do. In my client sessions, one of the first things we explore are attachment styles. These are learned reactions, behaviours and tendencies that we exhibit in our intimate relationships. When you understand your and your partner’…
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Learn to repair. If you’re feeling worried about the fights, arguments or tense moments between you and your partner. If they seem to sit there, looming like a big unspoken white elephant in the room, causing even more tension, don’t stress. All couples argue. Instead of focussing on avoiding it, focus on repair; the most important skill you can le…
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019: Attracting a more loving love with Marianne Buchanan
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My guest this week is my friend and client Marianne Buchanan. Over the past 3 years. I have watched Marianne move from attracting relationships that were manipulative and at times violent to a mutual attraction that is beautiful and nurturing. Her relationship attractor field has up-levelled so efficiently and effectively that I couldn’t wait to pi…
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018: All emotions are welcome with Bryan Reeves
1:09:27
1:09:27
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Bryan Reeves refers to himself as the relationship insight ninja and after our chat – I would have to agree with him. Bryan was raised predominantly by strong women, who infused his world with vision and service and left him with a deep reverence for the capacity of women and what they bring to the world. Yet this, for most of Bryan’s adult life di…
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