Sausage, Relish, Banana Pepper, Tomato, Onion, Mustard, Sauerkraut, Cole Slaw, Bun, Beef, Hamburger, CHICAGO Come enjoy some poetry with Fancy Octopus and the prisoners of "Lost In narration" Matthew and Erik as they read "Chicago For Carl Sandberg" by James Bradley Macullum. Go listen to the hilarious "Lost In Narration" cast here: https://pod.lin…

WE FINALLY GO CAMPING. Come pitch some tents with FancyOctopus, ToxicGold, and Jake as we read some more "Of Yokai and Hopeless Romantics" by Pewternatural. Want to know more? Check out our website buriedgems.podbean.com Any suggestions or comments? Feel free to email us at buriedgemspodcast@gmail.com BuiredGems.podbean.com…

The paint cracks on my baby blue wall. Chips fall upon me as I frown. "Babe hows the room coming along?" I here my wife call to me. "Going great, just need to grab some paint" I holler back across the fixer upper. "Well you better hurry... the Johnsons are coming over and I don't want to look a fool." Grimacing, I began my trek to the garage. About…

I wobble up the hill, stumbling every few steps from the shackles around my ankles. Legionnaires surround me but none of them are willing to look me in the eyes. Upon reaching the top of the hill I'm forced to my knees and my neck is placed upon a stump. A stunning horse, with the torso of a woman with hair of gold atop, trots upon the hill up to t…

I trip over bramble wires and gash open my good knee. "Crap" I mutter to myself as I get up to limp through the abandoned IKEA. I had to keep moving. Behind every turn there was more of... them. My only advantage was my speed and I couldn't afford to lose it. The moon shone brightly through the sun roof leaving behind stark shadows. Stepping quickl…

A Golden Transgression has stepped forth into the sacrificial pit. He removes his hood and looks up at us. We understand his loss and he understands its importance. I wipe tears collecting at the bridge of my nose as the incantation begins. A rhythmic chant " Muzzarella...Ricottaaa" starts off as a whisper. Slowly we all join in and it begins to cr…

The robotic eye stares me down coldly. Its pupil an unwavering void reminding me that I am being watched. I will never escape my prison of city blocks and 7-11s and it is here to remind me. My hot dog grows cold in my hands as an orange citizen sweeps up the trash on the corner a gold dumped from the back of their lambo. I sigh and look down at the…

Mommy always brings me my chicken nuggies. I need them to grow big and strong so I can become the ultimate gamer! Call of Duty, Halo, HAH mere child's play for an elite such as myself. I have stopped going to school or talking to friends. I NEED THE TIME TO GAME. Even walking spends extra gaming juices on my legs so I have mastered lizard crawling.…

I awake in the plane of darkness. I attempt to speak but I have no voice. My mouth begins patching over leaving a smooth flesh patch where my lips once were. I turn behind me and see my mortal enemies....Thomas, Charlie, and Proper Gent! "Did you think you could get away from us?" laughed Thomas. "Oh you're gonna pay for what you did" Charlie says …

Who doesn't love a good prank? Oh when I replace my partners contact solution with vinegar it was quite a laugh HAH. Sure they won't talk to me and their doctor is furious, but they are just overly sensitive. Besides, I'll never get my come uppance because I am violently against learning. Join the pranky bois: Fancy Octopus, Stave, Hyena, and Prope…

To the surprise of no one, touching rocks is not a healthy life style. But you'll never stop me! Why I will touch this stones and place them where ever I darn please for it is my RIGHT. Everyone thinks they can just stop me from rubbing my stones in public....why they say its unnatural or disturbing....well I think they are disturbing and honestly …

Love is truly in the air, or actually we want it to be but we can never truly grasp it. Instead we must carefully weigh our options and make an algorithm to determine if we should "love". We know a good love life is necessary part of school admission and we don't want to be expelled. We could never let something like emotions and spontaneity take h…

Sierra was made in the eyes of her creator, Dr. Samuel. However she must strike out on her own as the government quickly kills her creator. She learns quickly that she must hide who she is from this world as sentient robots are outlawed. Luckily she finds she can confide with Jesus to help her ride out the troubled times. Join Fancy Octopus, Proper…

Warning: Due to how we recorded this episode we recommend listening through speakers or over ear headphones. Whats going to happen to Sierra next? Will Dave take her back? Will she be able to raise her alien baby? Join Fancy Octopus, Hyena, Proper gent and Seth in the next installment of "Sierra the Robot" by Typhon Omega 1138. Want to know more? C…

Warning: Due to how we recorded this episode we recommend listening through speakers or over ear headphones. Whats going to happen to Sierra next? Everything seems fine and dandy, but what new adventures will life throw her way. Join Fancy Octopus, Hyena, Proper gent and Seth in the next installment of "Sierra the Robot" by Typhon Omega 1138. Want …

Warning: Due to how we recorded this episode we recommend listening through speakers or over ear headphones. Whats going to happen to Sierra next? She has shown her true self to the entire galaxy and societal change sometimes comes slows. Join Fancy Octopus, Hyena, Proper gent and Seth in the next installment of "Sierra the Robot" by Typhon Omega 1…

Garfield enraptures everyone that he approaches. It is merely the way of life that we have become accustomed to. Sadly, not everyone can be chosen by his orange. His glowing warmth filling your soul as he passes but you never truly get to sleep and envelope your soul in his aurora. For me that was the truth, until recently. I was eating my lonely l…

The well packaged fox scurried away from me. I, seeing a path towards redemption, a path towards fulfillment, a path towards food, hopped up and began to sprint. Each step was a step closer to my destiny, and I was going to reach the end! Upon turning a tree I saw the ..... well not Fox per se.... laying there exhausted among the brush. She laid th…

Its been a while since our last post. I have a good excuse though. You see... I went on a magical adventure through the deep forests of Michigan. Tasked on finding dinner for my family on the frontier of human civilization I dove into the upper peninsula. Multiple days pass and I can only assume my entire family has perished due to my incompetence …

Story at ~9:40 Guests: Hyena, fanatic of black t-shit. Thomas, a scholar of the hair gel. We have gathered here today to discuss the most powerful being we have ever known. We willingly submit to their charms for he surely knows the way. No one in this pious flock would ever deny his strategy. The women may strike him down, but it is merely because…

Heads or Tails? If you chose heads then you need to get a better one on your shoulder cause we talking TAILS today! What kind of tails? Not ox tails or pork tails or any other fantastic cuisine from the orient. Instead we are talking SONIC. Now we can all agree the best thing sonic ever did was the chili cheese coney, but how does tails factor in? …

Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark in"Wolve's and Bullets" by RebelMaster1000. Check out our website buriedgems.podbean.com Any suggestions or comments? Feel free to email us …

How many werewolves is too many werewolves to handle? Our boy Kyle can take em all! And we need him too. Our goats have been got and man I need that milk! I crave for that mountain milk. Until we stop those werewolves my milk will not be returned! My bones can only handle so much more stress. They are near pencil thin as I have lacked milk for so l…

Werewolves man. They really get my goat. And I need him for milk! With no milk my bones will stay brittle and who will fight the werewolves? Luckily there is a chosen one. One who can save us all. He has enough firepower and fortitude to strangle all of Manhattan twice over and he is pissed. KYLE will read the history books as we finally remove the…

Guests: Charlie was once a superhero, but those days are far behind him. Now he sits alone looking at the laundry machine tumble about throwing his socks to and fro. Slowly he looks up at the asbestos lined ceiling and says to himself, "If only I could get my powers back". He sighs and turns back to laundry. Suddenly a loud explosion occurs outside…

Its been a year since we went on our journey to find the next Harry Potter and we have had quite the motley crew along with us. In this special year anniversary episode we get a ton of our favorite guests together to see who done did read good for the reading part of the good!!! Guests: Thomas, Johnny Bravo Phd, Jacob, Johnny Bravo Evangelist, Seth…

Hyena called in quite the emergency. A level 2 message is usually unnecessary but I wasn't gonna slack just in case. I ran into Seth on the bus into town. He was just as confused as I about the message. We pondered and figured it must have to do with the lion theocracy back in Africa. Once we reached the safe house, and decrepit projects that's lac…

Guests: Jacob: He wants you to know that you should really clean your gun. Don't have a gun? THEN GET ONE AND CLEAN IT! Proper gun safety is necessary from all of us to maintain the Dawn! Thomas: I'm pretty sure he is a green citizen who "became" a red citizen. I tried to call him out on it at his dinner party but he was so offended that he cancele…

Guests: Charlie: The spirit of Christmas came to me in a dream. I was a foul wretched man who had committed many sins. My past had come to haunt me and I feared it was going to roost! Early the next morning I went to Charlie's son and asked what troubles them. Why he said they didn't have a goose for Christmas they didn't! Immediately I grab that b…

Guests: Hyena: He has sworn that he will regain his kingdom. He fought valiantly but Scar ended up just another despot. Upon Scar's death Simba has ousted Hyena and his peoples to the deserts of Sahara. Justice my yet come to the hyenas, but only if they can find the Topo Chico sponsorship to refresh their spirits. Seth: Cashville sure has seen bet…

Guests: Toxic Gold: He once laid eyes upon his true soul mate. She was in line at Dunkin' donuts. His knees began to shake as his stomach curled into a thick knot. He then realized he only had one shot. One deep breath... then he willed up his courage and cut the line up to her. Visibly confused, the cashier and woman look at him waiting for some r…

Guest: Matt Hocker - He called me at roughly 3:45 AM on a Saturday. Said I was needed down at the station. I wasn't sure for what but I wasn't one to argue with a PI. I slipped on a suit and caught a quick cab downtown. He was tense in his office. Synthesizers blaring and looping filled the air like sirens. And much like sirens they only drew me in…

Guests: Toxic Gold: He has succeeded in finding his children. But another problem beset him, they were in love! Toxic was not ready to marry off his 23 year old twin daughters, so he sent them a mysterious boarding school in upstate NY. Little did he know it was a boarding school..... of romance! What's the most important part of school? Exactly fi…

Guests: Toxic Gold: He nearly flew into the sun when rising to fame as a soundcloud rapper. But fame changed him and he did not like the look. So he escaped to the simple farm life and felt content. However, a cephalopod (identity withheld for their safety) kidnapped his children. Now Toxic Gold must search every nook and cranny of Fort Gary Indian…

Guests: Seth: Was really excited about spoken word until he found out the bars are not made of chocolate. Sometimes life gives you lemons, and those lemons are overripe and essentially inedible. It's those days where you want to distract your hunger with some edgy poetry. So bring you lemon-less belly over here and dive into some internet poetry wi…

Guests: Thomas: After almost burning up in the atmosphere upon re-entry, Thomas came to the revelation he might be coming in too hot. In an attempt to mediate the problem he has taken love as a philosophy to try and cool down. He has also tried wearing leather jackets and sunglasses inside. Charlie: I am so close to proving this guy is just a bunch…

Guests: Charlie: Charlie decided he wanted to be a teacher, but he had never gotten a degree (probably because he still hasn't proven he isn't squirrels in a trench coat) and so had trouble securing a position. Then he found Prager University. They hired him without even checking under his trench coat! He began teaching the masses until he realized…

Guests: Thomas: We found him inside an Igloo brand Igloo. It was quite cozy and cold and we had a fun party. However it was very unsustainable and costly since we were it was situated in a Walmart parking lot in the middle of a summer heat wave. The EPA had to shut us down but those 2 weeks were pretty cool. Jacob: Says he is a good old american bo…

Warning: This episode does contain a fairly graphic sex scene. Guests: Thomas: Likes spending his Sunday afternoons at the airport. He edges on the pure misery of late travelers. Connor: Mount Saint Flustration is about to blow up and we will all run far away. But Connor is feeling quite curious so he just might stay! Will we finally be able to rel…

Guests: Thomas: Popularized the term "flame war" because his burns were so savage monks would self-immolate in protest. Connor: Was a secret member of Muse, but his comments were to amusing for Mr.Bellamy and he was quickly exported from the UK. Fred and Burbour are finally lovers, but how will they handle their new found emotions. Find out in the …

Guests Thomas: If you change one letter in his name and rearrange it you will get somebody who only likes half of Taco Bell's menu. Jacob: Used to maul drug addicts in Russia to make a living. He still does but it's just for fun now. Brett: I found him in a bamboo cage behind the abandoned Hasting's. I trained and fixed him up and he finally passed…

Vampires! They are everywhere! They surround me and they get all the cool girls. Why do good girls like bad vampires? Wells its because they are immortal but can die when they want to be dramatic. God please let me be a vampire, a southern one at that. My life is pathetic and pale compared to the taut and tan vampire life of Talon Lumbus. Thats how…

Guests: Stave, was bitten by a vamp kid and we just can bring ourselves to tell him that's just weird, and Hyena, such a shill for Topo Chico he is merely a cloud lightly carbonated mist. We try to parse the complicated relationship of vampire brothers. What's even more complicated is the Vampire Canon provided in the "Lumbus Brothers" by Talon. Wa…

Guests: Stave, a brother to only himself he is desperately looking to adopt (must be able to backflip), and Hyena, the long forgotten brother of Stave (became estranged when he revealed he thought Wendy's was better than McDonald's (the SAVAGE)). This episode is all about Brothers. Brothers are everywhere, hell even sisters can be brothers. So in h…

Guests: Seth, unsure if existence is dictated by Nixon or if Nixon dictates existence, and Hyena, has been wearing a Nixon mask for the last month in an attempt to steal Seth industries. Sierra is trying to make it big as a singer on this episode of "Sierra The Robot" by Typon Omega-1138 Want to know more? Check out our website buriedgems.podbean.c…

Guests: Seth, essentially Nixon reborn, and Hyena, a man whose not a man. It was pretty clear in his name that he is not a man. Sierra meets her new siblings Kara and Bob. They are quite the handful and hijinks ensue in "Sierra The Robot" by Typhon-Omega 1138. Want to know more? Check out our website buriedgems.podbean.com Any suggestions or commen…

Guests: Charlie, was once a horse but stopped being one due to ethical conflicts with bullying, Seth, whose name rhymes with beth, preth, leth, and heth, and Thomas, who has assured me that transitive rhyming is merely witchcraft. Today we dive into the sphere of Roommate fiction. Our roommate experts provide analysis on the accuracy of roommate po…

Fair warning - Lots of male genitalia jokes. (Does iTunes need this to be clean?) Guests: Seth, a man who has the strength of a robot, too bad its a Roomba, and Hyena, currently infiltrating the KGB so he can steal their recipe for Borscht. Sierra settles into her new life at the orphanage and discovers something dwelling deep inside her. See Sierr…

Guests: Seth, who doesn't believe that robots can fully understand love and therefore cheese, and Hyena, who told us that he was the Hyena drawn into the Lion King but decided to get reconstructive surgery so he wouldn't be tied to an indie movie. We take a look at the creation of a Pinnochio style AI who wants to be a real girl in "Sierra The Robo…

Episode Notes Fancy Octopus is a mathematics and computer science student who hosts a podcast called Buried Gems. Buried Gems is a podcast where Fancy Octopus and his team search the internet for the next hidden great author. We go into detail on why he started the podcast, we discuss learning music and playing music, and he takes the time to expla…