Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
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A smart & sweary podcast for women in midlife that teaches the skills to get more joy & love in your day. Every day. Join me weekly, as I teach science-based, smarty-farty topics and break them down in to bite-sized lessons you can apply to your life. All while sharing my own shit show life & love stories that you can learn from. Topics I discuss: Getting more joy on a daily basis, thriving in midlife, figuring out perimenopause, healthy dating & relationships, building self-worth, body posi ...
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Say More - Miranda July and Esther Perel on The Rebirth of Desire
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This week, Esther is in a borrowed bedroom in Los Angeles, the perfect place to talk about desire and the novel on every bedside table, All Fours. The writer, director, and artist, Miranda July, joins Esther to examine the erotic and to explore how love and desire relate and how they conflict in modern relationships. They discuss the tension betwee…
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Esther Calling - Why Can't I Find Someone? Is it Me?
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Esther speaks to a woman who feels frustrated and stuck in her dating patterns. She loves going on dates, regularly meets people out and about, and feels open to having multiple forms of a relationship. And still…she gets to one or two or three dates before the relationship fizzles out. Esther gives her a new way to think about it and reframes her …
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Joy Journey: Three types of Overthinking (and how they steal your joy)
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To watch all the videos, and join me on the Joy Journey, visit me on the Joy Journey Substack Welcome to my Joy Journey. A 30 day journey to find more mini moments on joy in my life and encourage others to do the same. After a break for the flu, I'm on day 10 of my Joy Journey and I talk about something that I have noticed coming up...the curse of …
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We Had Boundaries and He Crossed Them
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They were in a consensual, non-monogamous relationship and happily growing their family. But he broke the first rule of their relationship, and it resulted in a major crisis—an unplanned pregnancy involving another woman. They are committed to each other, but this unforeseen transformation of their family has many unexpected consequences that invol…
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Joy Journey: The Fixed vs Growth Mindset Breakdown
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To watch all the videos, and join me on the Joy Journey, visit me on the Joy Journey Substack Welcome to my Joy Journey. A 30 day journey to find more mini moments on joy in my life and encourage others to do the same. I'm on day 8 of my Joy Journey. I check in on how it's going and some of the surprises so far. But more importantly, today I breakd…
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They're amicably divorced divorce lawyers, carving out a new kind of relationship after the end of their marriage. Esther reframes their situation and proposes a radical solution. What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and agg…
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The Arc of Love - All The Things We Never Said
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Often when a relationship ends, we're left with regrets, questions, and conversations we wish we could have had. Esther helps a woman process the things she left unsaid including the sexual grief and loss she feels after her husband unexpectedly died. What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a…
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Happiness Basics: Welcome to My Joy Journey
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Join me on the Joy Journey at my Joy Journey Substack. Watch the video version here. Here is the truth. Things have gotten really rough for me. Between midlife/aging perimenopause, and just THE 🌎 in general, I feel like I am just pushing through and getting by…and it’s not working anymore. I’m not sure that has ever worked. But man that’s what I wa…
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This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening. The suicide of his first wife left four traumatized children in its wake; she's spent six years putting the pieces back together. They're both ready to experience joy in their marriage, but can't quite figure out how. Esther coaches them through the difference betw…
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Ten years and two kids later, a wife comes to Esther looking for answers: does she want to explore her attraction to women because she's bisexual, or because she no longer wants to be married to her husband? What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trus…
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Happiness Basics: Are you making decisions from love or fear?
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I'm talking about one of my favorite topics today that personally kicked off my self-help journey. Love vs Fear. Today is a bit fancy because I break the episode down to 3 parts. The basics behind the concept and the quote that changed my life. A personal story of how I have made decisions out of fear but thought it was love. Four places to spot fe…
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Join Esther for a dinner table conversation on the topic of polyamory. The dinner was held to mark the anniversary of a panel discussion Esther was part of on the same topic ten years earlier. Together the original panel and a few new friends explore what has changed in the last decade as consensual non-monogamy has become more mainstream, why some…
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Happiness Basics: How to Actually Raise your Happiness Set Point
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You know all those things you were taught were going to make you happy? Perfect job, relationship, house, body, etc...that once you had them, you were THEN going to be happy? Turns out, all BS. Today on the pod I go to my Happiness Basics and talk about the super interesting theory called the happiness set point. I talk about: What it is and why it…
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It began as a passionate affair and ended two marriages. Now, they're struggling as they try to build trust. Esther encourages them to be brutally honest--with themselves. What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression,…
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Happiness Basics: How to find Happiness in our current world - With Happiness Expert, Rob Mack
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BIG NEWS! The THRIVE in midlife program has moved to January! Check out all the new details here. Second big news...I have a guest! Author, Happiness Expert and Good Friend, Rob Mack joined me on and we are talking about why our society is so unhappy now. It goes deep, but it is GOOD!By Kira Sabin
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They met in college; he's a U.S. citizen and she's trapped in a cross-border limbo. Their young love complicated by immigration status and politics, Esther helps them appreciate each other's sacrifices as they contemplate marriage. What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whe…
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Midlife Conversations: Are You in Perimenopause? Let's find out.
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Ready to jump on a no-pressure call with me to check out Thrive? My new happiness program for women in midlife. Grab a call here. PERIMENOPAUSE!!! I mean, what is this fresh hell that is perimenopause? I didn't even know it was a thing until I was smack dab feeling the bullshit symptoms of it. AND IT CAN LAST UP TO 12 YEARS! So, I decided to kick o…
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Midlife Conversations: Are You Living In Survival Mode? Let's find out. Part 2
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Have you checked out Thrive yet? Apply now. This is a part 2. Listen to part 1 first to get the most of this episode. Everybody has stress. It's part of the human experience. But sometimes, that stress seems to NEVER go away and we become chronically stressed or go into "survival mode". Which can bring on a bunch of bullshit that can affect our liv…
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The Arc of Love - I Don't Think I Want Kids? But My Partner Might?
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The Arc of Love is my gift to you as your summer beach listen of 2024. A curated collection of stories about trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, attraction and disgust, rupture and repair. As the stories mirror and amplify our own experiences, they help us grapple with the parts of ourselves that hold the same emotions,…
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Midlife Conversations: Are You Living In Survival Mode? Let's find out. Part 1
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"Trauma makes assholes out of all of us." - Dr. Stephanie Attwater Everybody has stress. It's part of the human experience. But sometimes, that stress seems to NEVER go away and we become chronically stressed or go into "survival mode". Which can bring on a bunch of bullshit that can affect our lives, jobs, relationships, friendships, and even heal…
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This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A husband hasn’t had an erection in 12 years and struggles with acknowledging it openly. His wife, in despair over her feelings of hopelessness in the bedroom, seeks relief from her sexual frustration and feelings of resentment. Esther reinforces to both of them that definin…
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Midlife Conversations: Meet the New Thrive Program for More Joy in Midlife
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Cause you and I both know it is rough. I know not everyone learns best from reading. I don't. So I did a short podcast to tell you all about my brand new program called Thrive that I launched on Friday. A brand new positive psychology program w/retreats for women over 40 to learn the knowledge, skills, and mindsets to thrive in midlife. Unlearn the…
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Midlife Conversations: Can we actually change anything we aren't happy with? Part 2
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I'm back with part 2 with Can we actually change? New Thrive Program Maybe we are at midlife and not too proud of the person we have become, can we actually change it? Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Yup. If you know how to change and as it turns out...we never learned it! In this 2 part episode about changing in midlife (when we are a bit gru…
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Midlife Conversations: Can we actually change anything we aren't happy with? Part 1
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Maybe we are at midlife and not too proud of the person we have become, can we actually change it? Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Yup. If you know how to change and as it turns out...we never learned it! In this 2 part episode about changing in midlife (when we are a bit grumpier and stuck in our ways) I'm going to breakdown why we DON'T chan…
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They met as community organizers in their neighborhood. She had just gotten out of a multi-year marriage to her ex-wife and began to forge new friendships. After about a year, something shifted for her and she began to develop feelings for him, sending her seemingly solid identity into a tailspin. After 15 years of identifying as a lesbian, she was…
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Midlife Conversations: Is this really all there fucking is? Really?
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I think the toughest thing about midlife is that at one point we are forced to look at where we are at, what we have created, and think...is this it? Is this life? Is this all there fucking is? Part 2 of my midlife conversation digs into when we wake up and realize we aren't happy: What we can focus on that isn't helpful in our lives How our "stron…
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Midlife Conversations: How the Fuck Did We Get Here?
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I'm doing a new series over the next few days because I want to talk the absolute mindfuck that is midlife. Today I talk about: The generational trauma that most of us over 40 are now dealing with with personal examples and stories How it is showing up and effecting our lives, happiness, and relationships now and why it matters And a lot of other s…
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Esther Calling - Four Affairs, Four Divorces. Why Do I Keep Doing This?
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Four affairs and four divorces later, she is searching for answers as to why she can’t stop leaving in such an abrupt way. Despite longing for a life partner, she questions her ability to maintain a healthy and stable relationship. Esther seeks to uncover the root of these issues and help her forge a new path forward as she embarks on what she hope…
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This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A newly married couple comes to Esther for guidance on how to create a space of safety and physical intimacy while also giving voice to past trauma. One partner is working to overcome an aversion to physical touch due to abuse from his past while the other is learning to ask…
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Esther Calling - What If I Break Up With My Dad?
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Esther takes a question from a young woman struggling with her relationship with her father. A recent divorce and the slow reveal of an affair on the part of her father has ruptured the family- and leaves her questioning whether or not her father should continue to have a role in her life. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional…
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We all know about red flags, but what about green flags? What we should be looking for while dating. That's what I'm sharing today! SUSCRIBE, LEAVE A REVIEW & SHARE EVERYWHERE! Like this? Take a workshop, do an intensive, & change your life! Follow Kira & the show on Instagram: Questions? Email the show at kira@reinventingdating.com Instagram: @kir…
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Why you should watch Bridgerton Season 3 (and it's not just because of the carriage scene)
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But it's not NOT about the carriage scene. 😂 Listen to the Bridgerton episodes breakdown on Rom-Com Rescue. SUSCRIBE, LEAVE A REVIEW & SHARE EVERYWHERE! Like this? Take a workshop, do an intensive, & change your life! Follow Kira & the show on Instagram: Questions? Email the show at kira@reinventingdating.com Instagram: @kirasabin Facebook: @reinve…
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Esther Calling - It Feels Like My Siblings Abandoned Me
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In this Esther Calling, Esther speaks to a young woman grappling with the burden of caring for her ailing parents and the feelings of resentment she feels towards her older siblings. But the true cause of this family conflict goes much deeper than who is showing up and who is not. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone ca…
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