Best Human Tortoise Podcasts (2024)

1
Golems, Bees, and Chimeras: Unraveling Dan's Enigmatic Past 1:22:14

1h ago1:22:14

1:22:14

Have something to say? Send us a Text! What happens when you mix a charming stone golem, a swarm of angry bees, and a fire-breathing chimera? Pure chaos! Join us in this wild episode of "Three Guys Dungeons and Fries" as we navigate technical difficulties and creative problem-solving during one of our craziest encounters yet. From charming golems t…

1
Gooey Companions and Pocket-sized Hang Gliders: Treasure Hunts Go Sideways in Land of Eem 1:37:44

40m ago1:37:44

1:37:44

Have something to say? Send us a Text! What if the key to escaping a collapsing cave lies in a pocket-sized hang glider? Join us on an adrenaline-fueled journey through the Land of Eem as we navigate toxic wastelands, celebrate our victory over Volnar, and grapple with bizarre mutations—from defensive ridges to donkey ears. Meet our quirky new comr…

1
A Fond Farewell: Episode 17 8:48

33m ago8:48

8:48

Instead of the usual conversation between Brooke and Ben, today's episode is simply a reading of the final ever edition of The Tortoise newsletter. Take a listen, and please know that it has been an absolute pleasure to be heard by you over the years. https://brookemcalary.substack.com/p/sometimes-life-surprises-us Much love and thanks for listenin…

1
Epic Escapes and Monstrous Mayhem: Surviving Volnar’s Wrath 2:14:45

14d ago2:14:45

2:14:45

Have something to say? Send us a Text! What happens when our heroes Ryleea nd Galen decide to brave the perilous Spill, only to encounter a bugbear in distress? In this rollercoaster of an episode, we find our adventurers making a life-or-death decision to enter a toxic wasteland to evade the River Watch. Listen to the chaos that ensues as they stu…

1
Covert Caper and Goblin Gaffes: Navigating Bandits, Bounties, and Industrial Escapes in the Land of Eem 1:26:14

1M ago1:26:14

1:26:14

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Can our heroes outsmart both River Watch and bandits with a clever disguise? Join us as we recount the thrilling escapades of Riley and Galen, as they navigate the treacherous Blackrill River, having "liberated" lumber from Log Jam. With a surprise wanted poster for Kade Kaderan hinting at new adventures in Bo…

1
Myrmeconema : Gliding Ants and Red Berries 30:46

26d ago30:46

30:46

Ants that can glide and Myrmeconema, a parasitic nematode that can change the appearance and behaviour of its host. What happens when the two of them meet? Show notes, with photos, video and links to lots more information, are available at thewildepisode.com Subscribe to the show to make sure you don't miss any future Wild Episodes, and e-mail your…

1
Balance: Episode 16 54:05

27d ago54:05

54:05

A more accurate title for this episode might have been: The Myth of Work-Life Balance, because both Ben and Brooke think it’s fundamentally BS, but that was too long a title, so Balance it is. In this episode, they look at the idea of balance through a post-lockdown, new-workplace lens, in an effort to make sense of why it feels harder to achieve n…

1
Robo Rescues and Lumberjack Legends: Confronting Corporate Evils and Environmental Battles 1:28:16

2M ago1:28:16

1:28:16

Have something to say? Send us a Text! What's more chaotic: an automated goblin lumber mill gone haywire or managing an inventory untouched for nearly a decade? Join us as we navigate the dungeon rescue mission packed with tension and humor. With George reluctantly hauling the rations and Riley dangling unconscious on a perilous conveyor belt, we j…

1
Sumatran Rhino : Sunset Song 34:32

2M ago34:32

34:32

The Sumatran Rhino, the closest living relative of the extinct Woolly Rhinoceros, is the most vocal of all rhinos. This is the story of its extraordinary voice, and its journey through the twilight of the natural world ... Show notes, with photos, video and links to lots more information, are available at thewildepisode.com Subscribe to the show to…

1
High-Stakes Hijinks: Outwitting Engines and Escaping Grinders 1:34:48

2M ago1:34:48

1:34:48

Have something to say? Send us a Text! What happens when Riley and Galen face off against a colossal, malfunctioning lumber mill teeming with deadly sputterjacks? Join us for an action-packed journey as our heroes navigate the perilous Gretchomaticus factory, uncover hidden secrets, and use their wits to outmaneuver mechanical adversaries. You'll b…

1
Body Image: Episode 15 55:15

3M ago55:15

55:15

In this month's episode, Brooke and Ben dig into the topic of body image. How do we see ourselves in the world? How does that inform our choices and beliefs? What inputs have the most impact on our self-image? What began as a conversation about "hot rodent men" became an exploration of how we take up space in the world, the comments, trends, belief…

1
From Swamps to Saloons: Roguish Romps and Lumberjack Shenanigans 1:17:27

3M ago1:17:27

1:17:27

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Are you ready to experience the Land of Eem like never before? Join us as we celebrate the 12th episode of Season 2 with an exhilarating trip down memory lane, revisiting our hilarious escapades in Rascleton and gearing up for our next big mission in Logjam. We reminisce about fulfilling our oath to Mindy, com…

1
Cookiecutter Shark : A Bright Shark in a Dark Ocean 30:29

2M ago30:29

30:29

The Cookiecutter Shark is famous for its gruesomely efficient parasitic attacks on whales, seals and big fish. But that is only a part of the story when it comes to this extraordinary, and extraordinarily bright, shark ... Show notes, with photos, video and links to lots more information, are available at thewildepisode.com Subscribe to the show to…

1
Goosebumps and Guffaws: Ghostly Gaggles and Tortoise Troubles in the Land of Eem 1:46:33

3M ago1:46:33

1:46:33

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Buckle up for a rollicking ride through the fantastical world of tabletop roleplaying as we recount the latest twists and turns of our ongoing saga! Our Land of Eem misadventures are seasoned with a hint of humor as we adventure with Riley and Galen! This episode weaves a tapestry of storytelling. You'll find …

1
Enchanted Expeditions and Culinary Quests: Braving Eem's Battles, Creatures, and Breakfast Treats 2:25:31

3M ago2:25:31

2:25:31

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Our latest escapade in "Wally's Waffles and Wargs" is a rollercoaster of emotions and hilarity, where the strategic minds of tabletop enthusiasts meet the unpredictability of the Land of Eem's Mucklands Sandbox Campaigns Setting. We grapple with the complexities of combating deforestation, and we also find our…

1
Giant Barrel Sponge : Methuselah on the Reef 30:57

3M ago30:57

30:57

The Giant Barrel Sponge: one of the simpler animals on Earth yet grows to enormous size over a crazily long life, exerts a big influence on reef ecosystems and, unlike a great many animals in our oceans, seems to be thriving ... Show notes, with photos, video and links to lots more information, are available at thewildepisode.com Subscribe to the s…

1
Waffles, Wealth, and Wandering Oddities: Chronicles of Camaraderie in a Quest for Treasure and Trouble 1:30:18

4M ago1:30:18

1:30:18

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Will the rumors of a bandit's treasure lead our band of merry misfits astray, or will the call of duty reign supreme? Join Rylan and Galen as we stand beneath the last tree, caught in a web of decisions, from treasure hunts to tactical retreats. Embark on a rollicking adventure where campfire stories spark mor…

1
Pleasure: Episode 14 59:15

4M ago59:15

59:15

Pleasure. Just the word brings a little shiver to the spine, doesn't it? Defined as “a feeling or experience that involves enjoyment or satisfaction,” in today’s episode, Brooke and Ben dig a little deeper into what pleasure is in real terms, what it means to them personally and why expanding our individual definitions might be the key to unlocking…

1
Aldabra Giant Tortoise : The One and Only 33:15

4M ago33:15

33:15

The Aldabra Giant Tortoise is an amazing survivor of a lost time - very recently lost - when giant tortoises dominated many of the islands in the Indian Ocean. Aldabra Atoll is the only place in the world you can still see great herds of tens of thousands of these huge reptiles. Show notes, with photos, video and links to lots more information, are…

1
The Great Slog Saga with Misadventures, Magic, and Mindy's Potions 1:39:18

4M ago1:39:18

1:39:18

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Ever found yourself chuckling at a countdown gone awry or whooping with joy as your Kickstarter crosses the finish line? That's how our latest adventure began before we plunged into the whimsical world of Eem, strategizing our next moves through Ettinhorn and towards the Great Slog. Alongside Zona Imbok, Crazy…

1
Golden Wyverns and Chatty Spiders: A Tale of Wits, Wonders, and Chance 1:25:06

4M ago1:25:06

1:25:06

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Ever wondered if you could tame a golden wyvern or reminisce about that time Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh weren't just games but a way of life for us? Pack your dice and join our merry band, including newcomer Riley, the barbarian, as we take on the Land of Eee RPG. This session is crammed with the thrill of the chase…

1
Phrynus longipes : The Whip Spider in the Cave 32:06

4M ago32:06

32:06

The Whip Spider Phrynus longipes is not a spider but one of the craziest-looking arachnids on Earth. They're also territorial and cannibalistic, so how do they manage to survive at super high densities in Caribbean caves without eating each other? Subscribe to the show to make sure you don't miss any future Wild Episodes, and e-mail your comments, …

1
Soft Life: Episode 13 57:36

5M ago57:36

57:36

If you spend any time on TikTok, you've probably seen the #softlife trend pop up over the past couple of years. Brooke and Ben aren't on TikTok, so are late to the party as usual, but wanted to dive into the sister movement of slow living anyway. In today's episode, they look at what soft living is, where it began, how it relates to slow living, an…

1
Strategic Escapes and Pun-Laden Quests: Surviving The Forgotten City, Wyvern Hunts, and The Punderlord's Challenge in the Land of Eem 1:47:32

5M ago1:47:32

1:47:32

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Embark on a rollercoaster of strategy and humor as we recount the spine-tingling trials within the forgotten city, where our party's wit and camaraderie are the keys to survival. Trapped, wounded, but never out of hope, we recount our infiltration mission, whisper tales of hard-fought battles against serpents,…

1
Glacier Lanternfish : The Scatterers 33:03

4M ago33:03

33:03

The Glacier Lanternfish is one of the most important fish in the world - part of arguably the greatest, and most under-appreciated, concentration of animal life on the planet. Which we can only really 'see', and understand, using sound. Subscribe to the show to make sure you don't miss any future Wild Episodes, and e-mail your comments, corrections…

1
Daring Dungeons and Dramatic Escapes: Recounting the Snake Shrine Saga, Prison Break Thrills, and the Quest for Camaraderie in the Land of Eem 1:42:02

5M ago1:42:02

1:42:02

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Have you ever encountered a riddle that left your mind spinning with possibilities? Join the Punderlord, as we recount the wild and whimsical tales from our latest foray into the Land of Eem RPG during the Pungent Quest Kickstarter livestream. Prepare for laughter, gasps, and the occasional tear as we reminisc…

1
Curveballs: Episode 12 55:35

6M ago55:35

55:35

You know the feeling. Life is motoring on in much the way you expected it to, you’ve got plans, you’ve got goals and then — BAM — a curveball gets whacked your way. Suddenly the plans, the goals, the vague idea of what we thought life would look like are shaken. In this month's episode of The Tortoise, Brooke and Ben are talking curveballs, trying …

1
Epic Sagas and Strategic Struggles: Journeying Through the Land of Eem RPG with Heroic Companions, Mythical Creatures, and Fate-Forging Decisions 2:20:01

6M ago2:20:01

2:20:01

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Step into the fantastical Land of Eem with us as we embark on a journey through treacherous terrain and encounter creatures both majestic and monstrous. Our latest RPG adventure actual play doesn't just pit us against formidable foes like a giant hydra and the mighty sargog, but challenges us to make strategic…

1
Matabele Ant : The Raid 29:50

5M ago29:50

29:50

The Matabele Ant conducts large-scale raids against its only prey: termites. And the way it does it is amazing, with elements that might remind us of reconnaissance, generals, signalling, tactics, even battlefield medical services. Subscribe to the show to make sure you don't miss any future Wild Episodes, and e-mail your comments, corrections, sug…

1
Impish Antics and Goose Gambits: Mischievous Trades, Sneaky Strategies, and the Wild Wonders in the Land of Eem 1:31:27

6M ago1:31:27

1:31:27

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Ever wondered what happens when you throw an imp, a goose, and a bunch of dweorgs into an adventure? Spoiler alert: it leads to one of the most bizarre and entertaining podcast episodes yet! Join us as we recount our latest exploits in the Land of Eem, where our characters, fresh from the forest's edge, find t…

1
Tales of Tension and Triumph: Bureaucratic Battles, Marauder Ambushes in the Land of Eem RPG 1:52:26

7M ago1:52:26

1:52:26

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Who would've thought that paperwork could feel like a boss battle? That's right, in our latest foray into the Land of Eem RPG, we endured a mind-bending marathon to shuffle Sven, the Yodeling Troll's bridge documents, to the top of the pile. But our ventures stretch far beyond the confines of bureaucracy; the …

1
Joyful Living: Episode 11 58:05

7M ago58:05

58:05

Today’s episode is all about joyful living. What it is, what it isn’t, how to get more of it and how it differs from happiness. Stemming from Brooke's intention to try and find more joy in 2024, this conversation is delightfully and unexpectedly wide-ranging, and in it Ben and Brooke explore: the definition of joy, and why it means so many differen…

1
Perils, Politics, Amusement Parks Antics, and Delving into Dunk's Darkest Dungeons 2:08:10

7M ago2:08:10

2:08:10

Have something to say? Send us a Text! As we ushered in the year with our motley crew of adventurers in the Land of Eem, we couldn't help but chuckle at the memory of Sven, the yodeling troll from our inaugural quest, and the mind-boggling 20 sessions it took to construct just one bridge! This episode takes you on a roller coaster through Krogland'…

1
Yellow-Footed Antechinus : Paying the Hormonal Price 31:26

7M ago31:26

31:26

The Yellow-footed Antechinus is a tiny marsupial predator in Australia that has a life history, and in particular a breeding system, that makes it one of the most unusual mammals in the entire world ... Subscribe to the show to make sure you don't miss any future Wild Episodes, and e-mail your comments, corrections, suggestions or feedback to help …

1
Celebratory Cheers and Perilous Quests: Riverboat Rescues, Ethical Debates, and Whimsical Escapades in the Land of Eem 1:39:14

8M ago1:39:14

1:39:14

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Ever wondered what it would be like to raise a glass to 20 shared adventures and still crave for more escapades with sword-wielding sell-swords, enigmatic companions, and the occasional chicken with a heart of gold? Well, that's precisely where we find ourselves as we wrap up in our holiday sweaters for a joyo…

1
Train Millipede : The Eight Year Itch 31:48

8M ago31:48

31:48

The Japanese Train Millipede has a surprising history of interactions with the country's railway system, and the pattern of those interactions reveals it to be almost unique in the way its life is governed by a ticking clock ... Subscribe to the show to make sure you don't miss any future Wild Episodes, and e-mail your comments, corrections, sugges…

1
Heroic Feats and Pirate Plots: The Adventures in Land of Eem RPG with Paladin Sacrifices, Strategic Triumphs, and Quests for Riches 1:27:34

8M ago1:27:34

1:27:34

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Embark on a voyage through the tumultuous seas and treacherous terrains of the Land of Eem RPG with our band of brave adventurers! This episode is a whirlwind recount of our daring exploits, from the noble sacrifice of Paladin Ponderwald to the strategic delights of new abilities gained upon leveling up. We re…

1
Epic Adventures in the Land of Eem RPG: Bandit Encounters, Pirate Battles, and A Journey of Friendship and Loss 1:42:02

9M ago1:42:02

1:42:02

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Ever wondered what it feels like to disrupt a Vice Punisher's plan, negotiate with Mov Wozinski, and handle a surprising twist of love in an epic RPG adventure? Well, you're about to find out! In our 18th session of Land of Eem RPG, we took some daring steps, including a venture to bring Crazy Urny to SPL and …

1
2023 Top Ten: Episode 10 1:04:54

9M ago1:04:54

1:04:54

Welcome to Episode 10 of The Tortoise - the p(l)odcast all about the possibilities of slow. In today's show — the final one for 2023 — Brooke and Ben look back over the year that was and walk through their personal Top Ten list. That is, their favourite: TV show Small detail Movie New destination Book (you know I failed to limit this one) Discovery…

1
Leopard : The Cat in the City 32:09

9M ago32:09

32:09

The leopard is the most flexible, adaptable big cat in the world, with a surprisingly long history of visiting urban areas. Today, as in the past, sharing your city with a large predator brings problems, but maybe there's an upside, because of how, and what, urban leopards are hunting ... Subscribe to the show to make sure you don't miss any future…

1
Bold Bluffs and Brave Bargains: Tree Rescues, Corporate Shakedowns, and Heroic Heists in the Land of Eem 1:24:45

9M ago1:24:45

1:24:45

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Ever felt like you’re a part of an epic adventure, saving endangered trees, outsmarting guards, and negotiating business deals? That’s exactly what we did in this episode of our Land of Eem RPG Adventure, peppered with humor and dramatic confrontations. We infiltrated the headquarters of SPL, wrestling with th…

1
Paragordius tricuspidatus : The Phantom Thread 34:06

9M ago34:06

34:06

What connects feasting Japanese fish, a swimming pool in southern France and Alexander the Great's encounter with the Gordian Knot? The extraordinary horsehair worm Paragordius tricuspidatus, a simple animal capable of astonishing things ... Subscribe to the show to make sure you don't miss any future Wild Episodes, and e-mail your comments, correc…

1
Uncovering Enigmas in the Land of Eem RPG: Yodeling Trolls, Abandoned Carnivals, and a Battle Against Werewolves 1:21:27

10M ago1:21:27

1:21:27

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Are you ready for an epic adventure filled with mysterious creatures, yodeling trolls, and an abandoned carnival filled with intact games and prizes but devoid of any workers? We've got that and a whole lot more in this electrifying episode as we continue our incredible quest in the Land of Eem RPG. On this jo…

1
Northern Gannet : Deep Impact 31:15

10M ago31:15

31:15

Northern Gannets are famous for one thing above all else: plunge diving after fish. So, an episode that's a bit of a deep dive into ... diving! How high, how deep, how dangerous, and how individually distinctive is a gannet's dive? Subscribe to the show to make sure you don't miss any future Wild Episodes, and e-mail your comments, corrections, sug…

1
Addiction: Episode 9 52:50

10M ago52:50

52:50

This month's episode digs into the topic of addiction (and more broadly, obsessive behaviour) for things like tech-use, busyness, food and consumption. If you need help with addiction or mental health, there's a list of resources over at The Tortoise. In today's show, Ben shares his experience with tech over-use and the links he sees between it and…

1
Navigating a Haunted Mine: Unveiling Dark Secrets, Encountering Skeletons, and Seeking Justice in the Land of Eam 1:02:27

10M ago1:02:27

1:02:27

Have something to say? Send us a Text! You're in for a ride of a lifetime, as we unearth dark secrets lurking within the haunted Helgroathe Mine in Land of Eem RPG. Are you willing to risk it all to uncover the truth? Leveling up our characters, we take on new abilities and dive deep into mysterious rumors. Old Noggin, a homeless man, brings us a t…

1
Antarctic Krill : Maximum Swarm 32:32

10M ago32:32

32:32

The Antarctic Krill is one of the most numerous animals on Earth, probably responsible for the biggest single species aggregations you can find nowadays. So numerous, in fact, that its surprising connection to Antarctic sea ice is just one of the ways it's bound into global climatic systems, carbon cycling and flows of energy and matter ... Subscri…

1
Unravelling Mysteries in the Land of Eem: Cunning Crafts, Heroic Rescues and a Quest to Unearth Truths 1:40:38

11M ago1:40:38

1:40:38

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Ready for an adventure of a lifetime? Buckle up as Galen and Riley, our unstoppable duo, embark on a distinctive expedition from Marshgate to save the Last Tree. Pack your bags, grab your folding canoe, and immerse yourself in a world of perilous snake people, Sarpathi, who have left our heroes' homeland in ru…

1
Hard Times: Episode 8 59:40

11M ago59:40

59:40

Today Brooke and Ben are talking about hard times. Or more specifically, how to deal with the emotional heaviness that comes from living through really difficult things. Digging into this feeling of heaviness, they discuss how they're trying to acknowledge and accept the challenges, as well as the tools they use to help them move forward. They also…

1
Marshgate Manor Mysteries: The Quest for the Eccentric Ernie 1:17:35

11M ago1:17:35

1:17:35

Have something to say? Send us a Text! Ever wonder what it's like to face Liger Sharks and Teapot spiders? Join us in the suspense-filled world of Marshgate Manor as we use the Land of Eem sandbox dungeon generator to find Crazy Urny. With unpredictable traps, riddles and obstacles at every turn, we're pulling out all the stops. From surviving batt…

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Human Tortoise Podcasts

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