Rachel is, amongst many other things, a Third Culture Kid therapist specialising in Life Story Interview and Accompaniment, an approach she developed from her Sociological doctorial research into TCK identity, belonging and relationship to place. This podcast is a place she comes to contribute her ponderings on personal growth, working with pain, and the transformative change that comes from a better understanding of our own stories. For more information about Rachel’s therapeutic work, plea ...
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I'm noticing how many of us TCKs are struggling to set boundaries without feeling the need to build a case of moral justification - our own feelings and needs don't seem to be 'enough' to allow us to say, "No". Here I'm exploring what might be going on, the potential impact of this, and how important it is to listen out for this in our narratives. …
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I'm in a season of decluttering... and my TCK self is happily familiar with how soothing it feels to streamline. So many of us get anxious at the accumulation of stuff (however will it all fit in my suitcase?!) but I'm a lover of things. What I'm seeing through is how important it is for my material surroundings to remind me of WHO I am. This episo…
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"I saw the signs... and I went there anyway!" I hear this so often, and it's such a familiar cry of my own heart too. We are often admonished to 'watch out for the red flags' but I'm wondering how much this is the relevant issue. Here I'm exploring what can lead TCKs to be especially vulnerable to seeing the warning signs of incompatible behaviours…
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In this episode, I'm pondering associations between changes and endings. In my story recently, I realised my needs had changed and the impact this was having around my book club involvement. I quickly assumed that acknowledging this change would initiate an ending, a quitting and loss around community. But what if changes could be integrated into a…
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What are the implications of a life lived in adaptation? One of them seems to be a familiarity with discomfort! This can impact different TCKs different ways - some of us get super sensitive to challenge, over-saturated as we have been in early chapters. Some of us identify so much with challenge that we continue to seek it out in our adult lives. …
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Today I'm reflecting on coming home. As TCKs, we can often develop sensitivities and strategies for managing the leaving experiences of our lives, but I'm noticing an area I want to work on - returning. I know leaving, do I know how to return? Turns out I didn't handle my most recent return brilliantly, so this episode is walking through that exper…
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So I messed up the timing of this one! Got all organised, and recorded before going away last week on holiday - then never scheduled it to post! So it's going out this week instead :) In this episode I ponder something that comes up a lot - with TCKs and in general discourse - the Selfie! I'm always fascinated when we have a resistance against some…
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After some creative scribbling, I feel like I've cracked something I want to now share with you - how I've seen myself privilege one version of my identity over others! This is something I hear us especially prone to doing if managing fluctuating energy levels, sometimes due to chronic conditions or illnesses. As TCKs, the pressure is often on to d…
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What do our TCK stories tell us about aging? And how does this impact our identities? This episode throws open this question and explores how we can use our stories as a resource to help us understand where our own (perhaps multiple) constructs of aging come from, and how we can navigate this with mindfulness and gentleness. Hosted on Acast. See ac…
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This last week I hit a familiar feeling - low motivation, a sense of 'what's the point anyway?' and general resistance to the elements and rhythms of my daily life. As with all of my confusing feelings, I tried to look at the context around it - and realised I was coming up to my three year mark: It's nearly three years I've been in this new house …
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So birthdays can bring up a lot for people, and for TCKs, these were often affected by mobility: Who do you invite to a party when you are the new kid? How do people celebrate here? And mine tends to make me pensive around identity also - who have I been this year, and where am I at now? And so in this podcast, I invite you to ponder with me those …
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I've just read Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist" and now I know the secret of happiness... and it's reminiscent of what I see Third Culture Kids doing every day in the tension they work to hold - between the "here" in my hand and the "there" out in the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…
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Am I bad at communicating my needs, or did I just learn how to communicate in an indirect, obligation-based culture? Am I over-bearing, or did I just learn that high-volume enthusiasm is how one communicates love? The places of our stories have so much to offer in helping us understand why our way of being may not fit easily in the here and now, bu…
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As with so many mainstream concepts, I find that Third Culture Kids often have a complicated and nuanced experience of "self-esteem", so it's definitely worth talking about! Some of us absolutely struggle with feelings of worthlessness, a grim and exhausting experience. Others of us, find that we have a strong sense of our own worth, and yet find o…
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111 - Social Mistakes and Emotional Flashbacks
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So many Third Culture Kids tell me how they can feel suddenly triggered or 'tugged' back into a previous chapter by the "smallest thing". This can be an amazing moment of nostalgic joy but often it's a moment of pain - a flooding feeling that dislocates us from the present moment. If we are to avoid self-shaming for "over-reacting" or being "too se…
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110 - Rest, Productivity and Growing Pains
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I've been wrestling with rest this week, and contemplating how my TCK story complicates my relationship with rest. Also explored, how hard and awful it can feel to change our narratives! Even when that change itself feels good... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Whether via health trauma or everyday cultural stories around body and wellness, health is a huge chapter in the Third Culture Kid story. Growing up with the classic, "Where There is no Doctor" book as a staple in my home in Niger, I explore here the role of health experiences on my own story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informa…
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When staying in place, seasonal change becomes a helpful access point to change and novelty for Third Culture Kids. Join me in this episode as I contemplate how we can review and renew our multifaceted selves at the the season's change. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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There are so many elements to our selves as Third Culture Kids it can feel stifling to feel stuck in one iteration of self for long. Moving to places that invite a different self forward is one solution, but today I'm reflecting on how setting internal boundaries can spin the dial and allow different selves to take space alongside one another. In a…
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Boundaries... we can have a very heavy relationship with this word. Fear of crossing them, of faux pas, and fear of setting them - this is the story for many Third Culture Kids. In this episode I'm exploring what it is about our experiences of mobility that can complicate boundaries for us, and how we can rebuild relationship with them. Hosted on A…
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So many of us are struggling to learn how to overcome challenges, change thought patterns and achieve our goals. So why, just as we start to see ourselves make these hard won changes, do we sometimes hit a whole new level of discomfort - that of feeling good!? Many Third Culture Kids find that the struggle and change is more familiar to us than the…
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TCKs often grow up accustomed to the need to learn new skills quickly (with varying degrees of felt success!) and this can complicate our relationship to our identities as 'learners'. In some ways we receive feedback we are ahead of our passport peers, and in other ways we can feel very behind. In this episode I explore something that has recently …
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I hear this a lot, "but I don't want to need to take care of me". It's often in recognition of how much you've been through, how much taking care of yourself has already cost you... and the pain of realising how much time and energy your body, mind and heart are still asking of you... and today I'm sitting with you here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.…
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How does being a TCK impact how we approach reciprocity in relationships? In my experience, it often leads us to want to heavily weight the experience towards us being givers, rather than takers... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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101 - New Year's Resolutions - abandoned already?
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It's the new year, and how are those resolutions coming along? Are you feeling motivated? Accomplished? Or, like me, are you wondering why your goals are now making you feel so judged? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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100 - Audiobook playtime and a big thank you
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Today Rachel started recording the audiobook for her book, "Incredible Lives and the Courage to Live Them" (print copies currently available at https://amzn.eu/d/hd88atF), and shares her experience, as well as her gratitude. Audiobooks played a huge part in her TCK childhood, and she reflects on the significance of auditory communication. Hosted on…
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129 clients in, and nearly 8000 downloads in the last year of this podcast, and it's time to reflect before the year turns to 2024! In this episode I invite you to review your year too - with gratitude for the you that travelled with you these last 12 months. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…
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At a season where so many of us are wrapped up (see what I did there?!) in finding the perfect gifts, I want to take a moment to explore how the idea of being a gift to the world may have touched our story as Third Culture Kids, and how I'd like to offer a reframe. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…
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The familiar (and repetitive) scripts of Christmas Hallmark movies remind me of how we can find safety in the predictable stories we hold this season. However, it's worth exploring if these familiar stories are ones we are choosing, or if we even feel good about the characters we are playing! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informat…
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How comfortable are we when other people's stories of us don't align with how we want to be perceived? In my experience, it's a common human experience to feel the need to have some control over the story of who we are. For many TCKs, it's aligned to our very social survival... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…
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In this episode, I'm exploring the expectations that form around leadership for Third Culture Kids... what are your experiences? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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94 - Let's break a social rule... on purpose!
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Ok, this is a fun one... What do we feel about breaking social rules? For me there is a shiver of dread around this, a reaction that remembers the cost of cultural faux pas. But what about if we are breaking rules intentionally? What rule would you break? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…
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This is such a common question I hear from Third Culture Kids trying to work out their relationship stories... and in this episode I want to explore what could be going on here for us. Why do we need to be so sure? And what could this focus on the other be denying ourselves? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…
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Now that I have an established space, I'm feeling a whole new set of feelings around inviting people into that space - my weird is showing on the walls! In this episode I explore more about the vulnerability of letting ourselves show up in our homes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…
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Change has been the constant for so many Third Culture Kids, for so long. If there is one thing we can count on, it's change. Yet what is our relationship with change - and how much power do we feel we have in it? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This title, "I Belong Where I Want To" feels so subversive... I'm so acutely aware of the pain I and so many other TCKs have felt around belonging that this phrase feels almost ridiculous. And yet I've come to believe it - utterly. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Rachel explored discovering a new way to connect to her body, moving from self-consciousness into joy, and reflects on the ways our bodies hold different chapters of our stories. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Rachel explores how many TCKs have learnt to minimize needs, to such an extent that the things we need to thrive start to feel like luxuries we shouldn't want. She offers another way in to discovering what our needs may be and how to acknowledge them. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…
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In this episode, Rachel goes head to head with here pet peeve - her own habit of living by old rules she don't want anymore... So many Third Culture Kids picked up rules throughout their lives, are they serving us anymore? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Journaling comes up a lot as a tool to help us process our stories. In this episode Rachel explores why journaling can be useful to us, what blocks we may face and some options to open up journaling as an option for us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Rachel came across the idea of social capital in her sociology studies, but sees it come up a lot for Third Culture Kids. If social capital is the idea of the social networks that make us feel connected and embedded in our communities, do TCKs feel they have enough? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…
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Rachel's getting her loft boarded... and it's bringing up some Third Culture Kid stuff. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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"What's your favourite...?" This is not a fun question for me. For what occasion? In which country? In what language? Defining our preferences can be tough as TCKs, and this episode explores why and how we can approach this differently. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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82 Indicators Transition is Going Well (or Not)
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Here again, Kristi Steele of www.kc360.co is asking questions many of us do about how TCKs may experience transition but this one is especially for those caregivers who want to be active participants in this challenging chapter of life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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81 Talking TCKs on BBC Radio Lincolnshire
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On May 19th I spoke to Melvyn Prior on BBC Radio Lincolnshire about TCKs and my book "Incredible Lives and the Courage to Live Them: Thoughts of a Third Culture Kid therapist". If you are an adult TCK, you probably sense that the multicultural, high mobility experiences of your childhood continue to impact your life in some way now. Making sense of…
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This episode comes to you thanks to Kristi Steele of www.kc360.co whose dedication to aiding college students transition well has extended to reaching out to me! Kristi asks me in this episode about what TCKs need to be considering (and what their parents should be aware of!) around the particular challenges they may face around romantic relationsh…
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79 Now or never, the impact of the truncated timeline
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Many TCKs struggle with a sense of a shortened timeline - leading to a sense of 'now or never'. Rachel ponders how this impacts us and how her garden is stretching her ability to 'wait and see'. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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We often carry a sense of how a "good" TCK life should look - and the burden of this can be crushing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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The "Fun" Self Do we know who we are if we don't know what our personal preferences and pleasures are? How does "fun" get complicated when we are Third Culture Kids? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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76 My cat passed away. And so much remains
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Trigger warning: pet loss This last week has been full of grief, transition, joy and (as always with me) reflections on how my story informs how I'm experiencing this current chapter of life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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