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DEAR NINA features honest conversations about the ups and downs of friendship. Why didn't your friend text you back? Why didn't your friend include you in her birthday dinner? It's because she's mad at you. Kidding, she's probably not. But maybe she is? See what I mean! Friendship is tricky, even for grownups. I'm your host, Nina Badzin. Since 2014 I've been fostering discussions about the nitty gritty of adult friendships with sensitivity and practicality in my advice column. The podcast ha ...
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Episode #110: "Neurodivergent friending" Thrilled to welcome James F. Richardson, author of Our Worst Strength: American Individualism and Its Hidden Discontents, who explains how his neurodivergent friend difficulties inspired a deeper exploration of, "how our American value of self-reliant individualism encourages us to be way too independent, un…
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Episode #109: Let's say you know that a friendship has run its course, but the friend has done nothing wrong. How do we go about distancing from a friend or ending a friendship? How do we process it when we feel a friend withdrawing? How do we negotiate conflict or transitions that are going to come up in many friendships? "Quiet quitting" is the l…
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Episode #108: Talking to friends about money has always been a taboo topic. What if, instead, discussing money with friends could deepen a friendship? Money can be an enormous issue between friends, which is why I'm revisiting my conversation with Shondaland.com staff writer, Mia Brabham Nolan. We discussed ways to make talking about finances with …
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Episode #107: I rarely cover family relationships on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, but I consistently receive letters about sisters-in-law so I realized it was time to broach the topic. Let me first say, I have a wonderful relationship with my sisters-in-law. I'm lucky! I was still able to take what I know about getting along (or not) …
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Episode #106: Welcome to Dear Nina, Conversations About Friendship. Today is a tough topic, and I'm not going to promise you that we come to an easy solution at the end. The fallout from losing the friendship of an entire group is a heartache that takes tremendous time to heal. Today's guest, is still in that healing process. I spoke to writer and …
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Episode #105: After a trip to Chicago to say goodbye to my childhood house, I appreciated how even one meal with your long distance friends means so much. You need time with your long distance friends, but not as much time as you think. You don't need full weekends away, though of course those are nice. You don't need long retreats in fancy resorts…
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Episode #104: Jill Smokler is the creator of Scary Mommy, one of the most original and successful mom blogs ever. She was also the first mom blogger to sell her site to a major media company. But Dear Nina is not a business podcast, and this is not a discussion about business regrets or rebranding. Jill was recently diagnosed with brain cancer. And…
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Episode #103: Friendship meet-cutes, the perfect jacket or blazer, fashion emergencies solved by our friends, making the first friendship move, and more. I'm talking to Rachel Levy Lesser of Life's Accessories: The Podcast for a fun crossover episode. We covered: Some personal friendship "meet-cutes" that mean more to us than our former romantic me…
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Episode #102: Shasta Nelson, friendship expert extraordinaire, joins me to discuss how and why to be honest with friends when we're upset with them. Our friendships CAN survive tough conversations, hurt feelings, and conflict. AND, our overall social health will improve when we learn to get through the hard stuff with our friends. Meet Shasta Nelso…
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Episode #101: It's the first official "ask me anything" episode in honor of 100 episodes! The questions came from my anonymous inbox, my Facebook group (Dear Nina: The Group), or through Instagram and TikTok-- both @dearninafriendship. I had a great time answering questions and I couldn't even get to everything so I will keep doing these every so o…
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Episode #100: They say camp friends are the best friends. Why? At camp there are no screens, you take risks, parents aren't breathing down your back, and the magic ingredients of endless hours + constant proximity make it possible to create intense, close bonds with kids your age. In this special episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship…
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Episode #99: Welcome to the 14-day friendship (mindset) cleanse, brainchild of previous Dear Nina guest, Anna Goldfarb, whose book Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, is finally out in the world. Don't feel put off by the word, "cleanse." This discussion is about reconsidering how you're approaching friendships and how yo…
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Episode #98: There are five questions I want us to be asking ourselves to get a sense of where our friendships stand. Even if you're not a student or a parent, thinking in school months is a helpful measure of time. Maybe you got some grades. Maybe your kids got grades. Maybe at work you got an evaluation. It's also worth your time to evaluate your…
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Episode #97: Invisible disabilities can turn into a source of shame and unknowingly get in the way of friendships. What is an invisible disability? It's any condition that is not obvious, perhaps even to the closest of friends. Some examples are depression, anxiety, other mental health diagnoses, as well as physical conditions such as chronic pain,…
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Episode #96: I have been a Gretchen Rubin fan since 2009 when I read The Happiness Project the week it came out. Who could resist that cover and concept? And I cannot believe this, but I got to discuss my favorite topic, friendship, with Gretchen Rubin on Dear Nina. In celebration of Gretchen's paperback release of Life in Five Senses: How Explorin…
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Episode #95: Oversharing, overtalking, undertalking, undersharing, small talk, deep talks, mismatches in vulnerability, and the art of listening---these are the tricky friendship topics we are dealing with today. I'm joined by Micaela Blei, a GrandSLAM-winning storyteller and former founding Director of Education at The Moth. Topics we covered: The…
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Episode #94: Everyone runs into bumps in their friendships. Trust me, I have a decade's worth of writing material from readers and listeners to prove that point. But when are friendship issues getting to the point where addressing them with a therapist is highly recommended? I'm joined by award-winning psychotherapist, Roxanne Francis, who responde…
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Episode #93: A quick conversation about the subtle hurts that can make friendship difficult. It's the small slights I cover on Dear Nina in general, not the giant betrayals. Why? The big "stuff" is much more black and white, and we don't need much conversation around whether to stay friends. Today I also have a big instagram tip if you're looking t…
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Episode #92: For anyone who has been hurt by a friend--or a group of friends--recently or in the past, this 14-minute episode is for you. It's a solo episode that came from my reaction to a TikTok video I saw by a woman who was left out of a group trip years ago and has decided she will never trust anyone with her friendship again. Other titles I c…
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Episode #91: Dr. Lisa Damour's latest book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers , is out in paperback. On this episode we revisit the best nuggets of my previous conversation with Dr. Lisa, focusing on teen and tween friend groups and all of the anxiety that goes along with parenting a teen who is dealing with not being in a group. We cover teens not …
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Episode #90: Many of us say we would be there for our friends in an emergency, but that's often theory until it's tested. Not everyone can rise to the occasion. And crisis is a time when the friends you want around you and the ones you may need to leave behind (even for just a while) becomes very clear. Kelly Lang, co-author with her husband, Mike,…
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Episode #89: Do you ever feel like you or someone you know is just not “good at” friendship? It's never too late to address negative patterns in our friendships or any relationship. Today's guest, author Christie Tate, author of B.F.F.: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found, set out to break decades of unhealthy cycles in her friendships. Do you th…
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Episode #88: Managing differences of opinion with friends can get tricky. An obvious area is politics, but smaller differences also get between friends, like parenting decisions. Examples: parents who give their kids a phone and social media years before the other friend; public vs. private school; where you live; how you vacation---those are not a…
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Episode #87: Shows like The Golden Girls and Grace & Frankie are beloved by so many, but also treated as a fantasy. What if platonic life partnerships didn't have to be merely a dream? What if you didn't have to wait until retirement age to consider centering your life around friendship? Today's guest, Rhaina Cohen, author of The Other Significant …
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Episode #86: Making friends and deepening existing friendships starts with some basic truths. "Every friendship starts with an act of bravery. And every friendship goes to the next level because of someone's act of bravery. " "Do not wait for the other person to make the first move. It's always your turn." These are just two of many wise and though…
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Episode #85: "The more the merrier" is a common expression for good reason. Most of us don't want to be considered exclusive. We want others to feel welcomed and comfortable around us. But there are times when the more the merrier is not the case-- when the group dynamics for a particular event won't work if everyone comes along. In episode 85, I h…
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Episode #84: Debra Arbit and I tell our real-life friendship story, which is a great example of going from barely acquaintances to close friends in our 40s. Well, when we met Debra was still in her 30s, but I was in my 40s. We share the emails and texts that move us from office-mates to friends. Debra and I don't agree on everything, but we do agre…
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Episode #83: Have you ever befriended your ex's ex? Today's episode focuses on the potential friendship that comes from a shared hurt and a shared healing. I was intrigued when Lara Starr emailed me about her "sister exes." Lara has written extensively in her Substack, It's Kind of a Long Story, about the friendships that came from bonding with the…
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Episode #82: The friendships formed during difficult, even dark, periods of our lives create a lasting impact unlike any other bond. These friendships "in the trenches" can come in many forms---a health crisis, a traumatic experience, or even experiencing an especially intense work environment with a harsh boss and terrible hours. This week's guest…
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Episode #81: Have you ever held back sharing good news because you sensed a friend wasn't truly celebrating with you? Do you have friends who show up in bad times, but are slow to show support in good times? This episode is for you! I share some thoughts on identifying the friends who want to hear your good news, how to develop more friendships lik…
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Episode #80: "Neediness" has come up in plenty of episodes, but this is the first one dedicated to that loaded word. The episode was inspired by a letter from a listener--author, Sally Vardaman, who found herself reacting to my mom's story in episode #72 about her decision to end a friendship over what she called, "neediness." Sally's letter was so…
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Episode #79: Bri McKoy is a cookbook author and military wife who has moved seven times in 12 years. She went from burning everything in the kitchen to learning to cook as a way to create community. Have you ever wondered how to make good friends in a new city? Bri has repeatedly accomplished this task with some towns proving harder than others. Br…
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Episode #78: You feel good potential friendship chemistry with someone, but then what to do next? This is an episode about pursuing a new friend. (We also get into some texting etiquette.) How do you pursue the friendship in a way that lets the other person know you're interested, but doesn't scare them off? And if you're someone who already has a …
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Episode #77: If there's one thing we need these days, it's some joy and laughter. It's dark times. And while today's story of a heartbreak from a friendship breakup isn't exactly what we think of as funny on its own, I am thrilled to tell you that there is a fantastic comedian out there who has made humor and art out of a painful friendship breakup…
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Episode 76: This episode of Dear Nina focuses on reaching out amidst turmoil (this time in particular, in the Middle East), navigating conversations when you’re not sure what to say, and the profound impact of letting someone know you’re thinking of them. Questions discussed include: Can a simple message of love and support make a difference to a f…
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Episode #75: If you're struggling with managing your friendships or looking for innovative ways to make new friends, this episode is your roadmap to a richer, more fulfilling social life. What you might be missing if you're not spending time with friends is a container for those friendships. My guests have tons of ideas for you! Jeff Waldman and Da…
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Episode #74 with Kristin Nilsen: Have you ever stopped to acknowledge the profound impact of your childhood friendships, even the most casual and fleeting ones, on your adult identity? This episode is dedicated to the friends who touched our lives, even if they are no longer an active part of it. Walk down memory lane with Kristin Nilsen, a middle-…
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Episode #73 with Ruchi Koval: Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you simply can't connect with someone trying to become better friends with you? Or, have you ever needed to "downgrade" a friendship? Letting down another person is never easy! Join me as I sit down with Ruchi Koval, a renowned author, motivational speaker, and relation…
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Episode #72: Sometimes we hurt a friend unintentionally, but an apology is still in order. Is there a friend out there who might be waiting for you to say, "I'm sorry?" Are you ready to forgive the friend who comes to you with an apology? This is the episode where we encourage you to think about forgiveness---asking for it and granting it. Who is w…
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Episode #71: Diamonde Williamson, found a way to make art from a painful friendship breakup and help others process their breakups, too. Just like romantic breakups, friendship breakups can lead to feelings of grief, loss, and loneliness. Yet, these feelings are often dismissed or minimized, making it hard to heal and move forward. Learn more about…
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Episode #70: Ever feel like your social life is a waiting game, stuck in the perpetual hope for an invitation to hang out? It’s time to flip the script! This episode is about empowering you to take control of your social time and friendships. Don't wait around hoping to be invited--reach out, take the lead, and discover the joy that comes with bein…
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Episode #69: with Jennifer Cramer-Miller You know those articles and memes that are everywhere reprimanding us about what NOT to say to a friend who is going through a hard time of any kind? Jennifer is here today to say THE OPPOSITE of that. She's urging us to stop being afraid of saying the wrong things to friends with chronic illness, or friends…
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Episode #68: Today we're discussing a harder topic than usual--what to do when your friend is in a very unhealthy or even an abusive relationship. It can be extremely difficult as a friend, as opposed to a family member, to know when you can step in to help, or how you can help. I'm grateful to Rachel Katz for sharing her story. She's been on both …
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Episode #67: In this episode, I encourage listeners to reach out to some long distance friends and plan a trip! Why? I finally put my money where my mouth is and spent time with out of town friends, and in this solo episode, I'm telling you all about it. Visiting long distance friends requires time and usually a financial commitment, but the reward…
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Episode #66 with Heidi Shertok Today we’re talking about a topic that people have written to me about consistently over the years--friendships between introverts and extroverts. Here to help me is Heidi Shertok, who told me that being an introvert in an extrovert’s world has presented some problems for her in her friendships. PLUS, I was so excited…
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Episode #65: Dr. Lisa Damour is the NYT bestselling author of Untangled, Under Pressure, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, and the co-host of the Ask Lisa Podcast. On Dear Nina, I focus on adult friendships, but sometimes I touch on teen friendships because teen friend strife is slipping into adult friendships. While it was once expected that teens…
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Episode #64 with Jill Smokler (Scary Mommy) What happens when two longtime, old school bloggers reminisce about the good old days of blogging? You get laughs, reflections, and a deep dive into the intricate dynamics of the blogging community from the early days to today. I'm joined by my friend and star blogger, Jill Smokler, founder of Scary Mommy…
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Episode #63 with Dr. Marisa G. Franco Conflicts in friendships can feel so daunting, but sometimes we have to tell friends they've let us down rather than distancing ourselves and ignoring calls and texts. (A tactic too many of us use.) Here to help is Dr. Marissa G Franco, author of the instant NYT bestseller, Platonic: How the Science of Attachme…
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Episode #62. "Monday is Nan. Tuesday is Maryanne. Wednesday is Leslie. Thursday is Lisa. And Friday is Susan. It was an act of love, an act of friendship. . . " Many of us enjoy walking with friends. But the power of walking and friendship is extra inspiring in today's episode. Leslie Hooton, author of three novels and a true inspiration, had to le…
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Episode #61: Award-winning journalist, best-selling author, and podcast creator, Jo Piazza, joins me to answer the question---Is texting ruining the art of friendship communication? Together we make the case for old-school phone calls and low-key hangs. We referenced two of Jo's Substack pieces: In Praise of the Low-keyHang I Don't Want to Text Any…
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