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#52 All or Nothing Mentality
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One of the twelve disciples, Thomas (nicknamed the Twin), was not with the others when Jesus came. They told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he replied, “I won’t believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side.” – John 20:24-25 (NLT)
He’s come to be known as “Doubting Thomas” down through the ages. Though his fellow disciples said they saw the resurrected Jesus, Thomas wasn’t buying it. Unless he saw and felt Jesus for himself, his friends were liars as far as he was concerned.
Thomas had what we might call an “all or nothing” mentality. He needed to see “all” of Jesus or there would be “nothing” in terms of belief.
Can you relate to this all or nothing mentality? I (CJ) know I can. As a runner, I’ve found myself saying things like, “If I’m not 100% fit, I won’t show up on race day.” Or “If the weather isn’t perfect, what’s the use of going out for this long run.”
Here are some other “all or nothing” scenarios we might identify with:
“If I can’t fit into these jeans, I won’t go to the party”
“If I have any doubt that I’ll lose this game, I simply won’t play”
“If I can’t eat just one cookie, I might as well eat the whole bag”
“If I can’t do my workout today, the whole plan will fall apart”
“If I don’t have time to cook, the only choice is fast food”
Another word we might use to describe an all or nothing mentality is perfectionism. If things aren’t perfect in our eyes, what’s the use in continuing? It can be a very self-defeating trap that prevents any growth or meaningful progress.
By making a decision to skip the race because I’m not 100% fit, I’m discounting other good things that could happen like interacting with others, volunteering at the race, or perhaps setting aside my own goals in order to support someone else.
A growth mindset is a healthier approach as we pursue our goals. No matter how messy or imperfect things may get, there’s room for grace and learning from mistakes. If we miss a workout, we can stay flexible and reschedule. If we overindulge on that sweet treat, we can still resume our nutrition plan.
How have you experienced an all or nothing mentality?
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