#399 Removing Anxiety in Real Life

Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast

Removing Anxiety in Real Life Overcoming Fear

In this enlightening episode, we dive deep into the realm of anxiety and fear, sharing a personal story of how overwhelming anxiety can be and how it can be managed effectively. This episode is designed to provide you with practical tools to combat anxiety and regain control of your emotions.

In this episode I'll discuss:

• A real-life story of dealing with anxiety and fear.

• Two powerful processes to remove anxiety and feel good.

You'll learn:

• How to push away negative thoughts and visualize a successful outcome.

• How to prepare mentally for upcoming anxiety-inducing situations.

Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, you'll discover:

• The importance of acknowledging your anxiety and finding a better way to handle it.

• How to use visualization techniques to see yourself succeeding in stressful situations.

Join me as I share these valuable insights and techniques to help you overcome anxiety and live a more confident life.

And...... After maybe you will want to share this episode with others:

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/399-removing-anxiety-in-real-life/

Shine brightly

Paul

Shine brightly

Paul

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And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, my friend, we're back. We're back. And I promised you, I promised you from last, the last longer podcast, having had my little. Not a rant, but just a little thing about what anxiety is trying to do for us. And maybe we're just telling you and hopefully, supporting you in knowing that it's going to go really easily. It can do. So here's, I've got a couple of processes here, because knowing that anxiety hasn't happened, it's not real. But the thing is, I want to go back into a real life story, because anxiety is weird, isn't it? So weird. And we've all suffered from it, and we all suffer in different ways, I guess. Sometimes with panic attacks, sometimes with our heart just starting to race just a little bit, maybe our breath gets a little bit. I don't know. It just. And we get. I don't know. Well, you do know. We do know. It just overwhelms us sometimes, doesn't it? And there's nothing else that we can think of other than that bloody thing. Here's a story, and it's true, by the way. It is a true one. Happened a little while ago. See, I remember this time when I was thinking about this processes, when I was really worried about something. And it's quite weird, because I wasn't even in the bloody same country as this thing was supposed to happen in. It was like a sort of confrontation with somebody, or someone was threatening to confrontation with me about something, and I wasn't even there, so it couldn't happen at all. I was in a different bloody country. But, and there was a but it made no bloody difference. It didn't make any difference at all. And, even knowing what I know, I still felt, I still fell for it. In other words, what the fuck comes to mind. But, at that time, it didn't and as I thought about it, miles away from the scene, was it ever going to happen? I made that picture, that movie, in my head so bad. And I couldn't stop thinking about it. It spawned my every day, because as I'd be walking around thinking about other things, it would come into my mind if I stopped and paused to see the beauty came into my bloody mind. And it worried me. I could see it so clearly in my mind what was going to happen. I could hear the words. I could feel that feeling in my stomach getting tighter and tighter, feeling even a little bit sick, even smell it, taste it. And it was going over and over like a reel that wouldn't bloody stop. But the thing is, that reel got worse and, worse. That's really weird when you look at it back now, that's really weird because I wasn't anywhere near it. Have you had something like that too? Maybe you're a bit closer. But, you know, it is something that just happens in our mind. And we do, don't we? We make up the very worst scenarios that will never, ever, ever, ever, ever happen in the world. But they're so clear, so real in our mind, because our imagination is absolutely bloody brilliant. We have the most wonderful skill of imagination, imagineering, yet we tend to use it in the wrong bloody way, don't we? To scare the shit out of ourselves. And, I had to do something. I knew I had to do something. There's one thing I did have to do. First of all, I wanted. Well, we all know. Well, do we all know, Paul, we can surmise the positive intention, because behind every behaviour and a behaviour is a thought, an emotion behind that positive intention, or the positive behaviour behind that behaviour is to be prepared if something's going to happen. My unconscious mind, my best friend, was going to prepare me like hell. It was going to give me so much preparation, so many different scenarios, so many different things to do. So, And, it span out of control. And I couldn't be prepared because I was in overwhelm, because I was just now worried, anxious, thinking of every. When I think about it now, stupid thing that could have happened. But here's the first process I knew. I knew. I knew from all my experiences, all my learners, I had to get some respite. And I could, you see, it was in my face, literally in my head. The movie in my head was actually right out in front of me, right suffocating me as it was. I couldn't see anything. So what do I have to do? Well, I'm too close to it. So I decided with all my skills, and you didn't need any, really, to push it away, to push that picture away, push it away from me. And you can, when you think about it, and all you have to do is go push it away. And as you push it away, guess what happens when things go to the distance? They get smaller. They begin to shrink. And if they don't shrink it fast enough, you can actually, in your mind, I'm gonna shrink that even smaller and smaller. And as it gets smaller and darker and further away, it actually gets darker. Jumped in there. As you push it further away, it gets smaller, and you shrink it, and it gets darker, it gets out of focus, the sound. You can turn it off if you want to. And this is what I did occasionally, when it kept coming, I changed the voices into, like, a sexy voice. So this, person had this sexy voice who was confrontational. And it just gave me time to breathe because I knew now it was over there. And, when you push it over there, out of your vision or, out to the side of your vision, way out there, smaller and darker, even with the sound off or just weird, it gave me time to think.

The next time anything starts to give you anxiety, acknowledge it

And, one of the thoughts I had was what, in reality was the worst that could happen. And I thought about it and I thought, well, I wouldn't let everything I've thought about happen. I just wouldn't let it happen. I'd keep a distance. I decided how I'd wanted to feel, to act. So I'd act calm. I might have to match and mirror a little bit, but bring it back to calmness and just notice what happened. And I noticed when I did that I could see a successful ending. I could see it just petering out because really, it wasn't going to happen anyway. And if it did, I knew in my heart, really, that I'd blown it out of all proportion. And there might have been a few words, but in the end of the day, there were just going to be words. Nothing more than that. Especially if I stayed calm, aware, and just that's it, really standing my ground, being confident in myself. That's all I needed to be me. And as I did that, I'm, seeing that successful ending of it just disappearing. And it was just, well, it gave me that respite. And so whenever I was walking along or doing something and that picture came along, I just pushed it away, saw that successful ending again, how I wanted to feel. And I got, on it gave me that time. It was like a pattern interrupt. Because every time it came, I pushed it away, and it interrupted that blooming pattern, turned it off, interrupted that pattern. Great thing to do. And in the end, your unconscious mind goes, actually, he's thinking of a better thing. He's actually safer over there so that he's prepared. I'm trying to get him prepared, but he's actually prepared, and it will disappear. And guess what? Guess what? And yours most probably will be the same as mine. It never happened. It really never happened. That situation never happened. It didn't come anywhere. It just never, never, never happened. Actually, right in my nose. Ff's you can m make that. You know what that means, if you know what it means, because it just never happened. And that when you do, that gives you more confidence. The next time. The next time anything starts to give you the anxiety, maybe starts to give you panic, fear, you can acknowledge, just acknowledge it saying, okay, I know what you're trying to do for me, but let's just get a bit of space, because this overwhelm isn't protecting me. Let's find a better way and, push it away. Turn the sound off. Make it dark, small over there. And just how would you like it to be? What's, in reality, the worst that could happen? And how would you like it to be? Because then you can mitigate, because don't make it any worse than it is, because this is now you've got space, the likelihood, and then mitigate m it by how you'd like to be, how you're going to change it. See the successful ending. You do that enough times, and you don't have to do it many, your unconscious mind will choose to say, well, actually, this is better for me. This is better for him or you. Her, she, your best friend, will help you. Now, that's amazing, because that's all I did for that particular thing. Didn't do anything else. I felt better. It didn't bother me anymore. And, when I returned to, to my home, as I said, it didn't even happen. So what a waste of worry that could have been. I could have been worrying for weeks, because it was about two or three weeks before I got back. I could have been worrying and anxious and making it worse and worse. And what would that do? It would just make everything, it wouldn't be good for me. It wouldn't be good for the people around me, and probably wouldn't be good for little old planet Earth, pushing out all that anxiety. But the change was so good, so good for me. Therefore it was so good for other people around me because we got to enjoy each other and little old planet Earth got to have those vibrations. But that's only one way. That's only one way.

Abe: Having social anxiety can lead to anxiety in social settings

And I know I pack a lot in and I want to pack a lot in, but I want to show you one more way, share with you one other way. Because that was like a fictitious one. It wasn't fictitious in my mind at the time. It was, it could have been a reality, but it didn't. I prepared for it. But there are some things that you know are going to happen. You know, you might have in your diary that at a certain period in the day next week, this week sometime, you're going to have a meeting. It's in the schedule, it's in your diary. Or you could have an interview maybe, or you're going to meet somebody. It doesn't have to be confrontational, by the way. This could be slight social anxiety. Haven't heard that word for a long time, have we? a few years ago, that was the buzzword. Hey, I've got social anxiety. But it might be social anxiety. Having anxiety in social settings. Now you know it's going to happen. You're going to meet those people this evening, you're going to have that interview, you're going to meet that person, you're going to have whatever, it's a meeting. You gotta stand up and prepare something or present something you prepared. And guess what? We can end up doing the same thing, can't we do the same thing in our bloody head, make it as worse than it could ever be and then double that, Cause that's what we do. And then we scare the shit out of ourselves. All in that wonderful intention, positive intention to prepare. But because of all that anxiety, that fear, now we can't prepare properly, can we? Because if we prepared properly for that situation, it wouldn't be a problem, would there? Because we would be prepared. We'd able to know all the resources we wanted, we'd able to access them, we'd know what's going to happen. Maybe a little practice, but sometimes practice, You could just get to see the bullet points, the final things. That doesn't happen or it may not happen. So if it did happen, not the worst scenario, but if you did have this thing to do, you know it's going to happen. It's a definite, the only way it's not going to happen is if you go sick. You call a sickie, you swerve it, and we're not going to do that because we don't need to do that because we're better than that. I, know you're better than that if you have this type of thing. So again, let's just acknowledge and thank our unconscious mind, our best friend, not for scaring the shit out of us, but for trying to protect us, trying to prepare us for the worst. But let's just acknowledge that this feeling we have, this maybe overwhelm, this worry, this anxiety, this panic, maybe the sleepless nights, just acknowledge to your unconscious mind, I know you're trying to do something for me, to help me, to protect me, but it's not working. This is not appropriate. So let's change that. Just ask your unconscious mind, you could do if you want to, Abe, do you want to look for something better that would help me better, that would say that keep me safe, better, maybe produce a really good outcome. And, if you've got a best friend like that, it's going to say, yeah, I'm going to listen. Because if something I'm doing for you is not working, and I'm your best friend, and I really got to keep you safe, I've got to listen, haven't I? So this is what we do. So first of all, and if you could write this out, it does help, but you don't have to, you could do it on the fly if you haven't got time. But if you're thinking about it and it's something that's going to happen in the next day or two or a week or so, write it down, because it will get, once you get it out on paper, you're getting that dissociation, you're getting it out there. It's out of you into onto that paper. So how do you want to feel in that situation? How do you really want to feel? Just think about it. You know what would be the most appropriate emotion for some people? It might be just, I want to be calm. I want to be aware of what's happening. Awareness is a great thing to have, because if you're aware, then you can access the skills that you need. Because you're aware. You're not jumping here, there. I'm just aware. Maybe you just, well, those times when I've been really in control of myself and I have been able to access all that I need, say there's some information there, I want to communicate something with somebody. Maybe there's times when I just want to be able to communicate, find that connection. And you see, when you start to do that you write it down, you will think of times in the past when you've been maybe calm. You've been, you've had that awareness, you've had that control in yourself. You've been able to connect and you see as you do that and you just remember it visually or become aware of that. Memory doesn't have to be visual sometimes it generally is. But if it doesn't, it's just an awareness. Your unconscious mind has to connect to that feeling too, doesn't it? Can't not. And it's going to start comparing, well, calmness, awareness, control, connection, and compare that to overwhelm, worry, anxiety, panic. Well, it's now going to say, well, I can actually see which one's going to work, isn't it? But I say on the fly, you could just go through that and feel it.

Some of it is just, uh, breathing. Because breathing always helps

How would you like to behave now when I say that, what behaviors would you like? Some of it is just, breathing. Because breathing always helps. So I'd like to breathe easily, effortlessly, just be there. Because when we panic, we breathe up high, don't we? And everything gets faster. The pitches in our mind go faster. We can't. And that's sometimes why we can't explain ourselves to people, because we're trying to, to explain the pictures in our mind, but they're going so bloody quickly that we can't. But when we just relax and become, we can then become aware. So we breathe just a little bit, just a little bit more deeply. And you can practice that sometimes. But just think about it now. How would you like to breathe? Now, some people say, I want to be relaxed, but sometimes relaxed is too much. So maybe you just want to be relaxed and alert, which is that awareness, I guess, as well. Now, the other behavior I want is that access to all that I need to know. Because I know you have a myriad of experiences, a myriad of skills, a myriad of everything you need. Maybe you just want to behave in the way that how you talk, talk easily, comfortably, eloquently, accessing all the words you need to have so it's smooth. You're not stumbling over your words. So we're not going to talk about what we don't want, though. We're going to say, I don't want to stumble, I don't want to do this. No, I want to talk easily. I want to talk smoothly, eloquently. I want to talk at a pitch. I want to change my pitch, my tone, so it gives it life, gives it a melody. I've been listening to, I can't remember the guy's name now, but he talks about speaking with a melody, and it sounds brilliant. So you start to think about those. And as you think about those, if you think about just thinking about how you would talk with a memo, with a melody, automatically you start to think of your voice moving and creating wonderful resonance. You can't help but do it. You have to do it. And your unconscious mind is going, bloody hell. These are all skills that are going to make things so much better. And then you think, well, what belief, I don't know why I said it like that. What belief would be best to support you? Things like, I've got this, I'm good enough. I'm good enough to be here. I deserve to be here. I'm going to share what I've got because it's good. So you can think about that. You might want to write those down, too, because they're great. Now, here's the thing. You may have been doing that with me right now. Maybe you've got something you're thinking of in, it's going to happen in the next day or so. So you've probably been thinking about this scenario and these type of things. So here's the thing. If it's okay with you and you've got nothing else to do, nothing's gonna, you know, nothing needs your attention. Because basically, I want you to close your eyes in a minute because I want to go through this with you just gently. So if you weren't thinking of a situation, well, think of a situation now, and it could be one in the past that you want to change. Okay? So, so we can learn from it. Because if there's a situation, say, well, I haven't got a situation right now, but if this situation that happened in the past was to happen again, I'd, like it to be different because I know I was doing it again. I'd start to worry because it didn't work well. Don't know why I whispered then, either. So here's what I want you to do again. If nothing needs your attention, I'm gonna ask you to close your eyes. It's just visualization of a sort. Visualization is either 2020 vision or just an awareness and everything in between. So you can't, you can't not visualize. So here's the thing. Think of that situation you're, you want to be able to be successful at, or a situation in the past where you'd like to change it. So for if it happens in the future. It'll be perfect. Not perfect, it'll be great. Bring it to mind. And close your eyes. And as you close your eyes, take a nice breath. Let's think about that breathing. Let it out. And gently. Just breathe. And I want you to see that scene, the scene that's either going to happen or the scene that did happen, but I want you to see it dissociated, which means it's over there. You're seeing yourself over there in that scene through your own eyes now. So it's like you're watching a movie of yourself, of that thing that happened or you imagined to happen, how you want it to be. And I, want you to see it exactly how you want it to be. Remember if you wrote it down, but how. See yourself feeling the way you want to feel. Calm, aware, controlled, connected. See yourself over there behaving the way you want to behave. Breathing, relaxed and alert. Having access to all you need to know to be able to talk easily, effortlessly, eloquently, and having that wonderful just way of talking. Now just remember. And that belief, see yourself over that being just the way. Because that belief that you've got this, this is yours, you have a right to be here, to do this. See yourself with all those skills, all those resources, being just the way you want it to be. And maybe as you do that, you can be able to feel those inside yourself. Now, as you look at yourself over there and notice how those, if there's other people involved, notice how they act to react in accordance with the way you want it to be. Because of the way you are over there. And when you think it's about right, it doesn't have to take a long time. We're probably nearly there already because it's the essence that we want for your unconscious, mind.

Imagineering that you could flow out of your body right now into that

So now I want you to imagine another imagineering on top of this. Imagineering that you could flow out of your body right now into that. You over there, you're in that city, looking through your own eyes. Being there, you're fully associated. You're associated to those emotions, that calmness, that awareness, being control, connecting, or whatever you, you want to have. Remember those behaviors. You're now feeling them. Now you're breathing. Feel that breathing. Feeling how relaxed you feel, how you are alerted, accessing all you need to know, being able to talk so easily, eloquently, changing your tone. Notice that belief you have. Feel that belief right now. So you'll see what you'll see, hear what you'll hear, feel everything about that you might even have the spell and taste of success. And, as you're there, say, with your inner voice as you float back to yourself, this or something better, because we always float back into ourselves because this is where we live in ourselves. And imagine that scene floating off into the multiverse of universe exactly the way you want it, maybe just dropping itself into the future just when it's about to happen and it just dissolves into your future timeline. And notice if you do that, you could probably feel the time of your future realigning itself with all these wonderful changes. And literally, you can look forward to it now, forward to your future. And if there's any preparation you need to do to make sure you've got everything you need, you can now prepare, prepare with that belief. I deserve this. I'm going to do this. And then open your eyes and think of what you need to do. What are the few steps? Because there will only be a few steps because you've got this. You wouldn't be going to do it if you didn't have this. Maybe there's nothing other than to do then maybe just imagine it again or just feel those feelings again. Maybe think of times in the past when you've had those skills, those resources. And guess what? The whole point of this is. It's not complicated, it's simple. Doesn't mean to say it's always really, really easy, but it's as difficult as you want to make it, and it's as easy as you want to make it. And, then there, you say to your unconscious mind, the choice is made, we're going to do this and we're going to do it well. Allow, them to be so, and you might even just think, and here's a real good kicker, just come to my mind. You might just want to think when I go through that event in the future, when I actually go through it and it becomes the now and it's that successful, just wonder what new opportunities will come my way. What new opportunities could you, my unconscious mind, notice for me so they become the focus of my attention there. Was that good? I hope it was good. I hope you enjoyed that. You never know. Might do a hypnosis one of this, I hope hypnosis track. Where do you get them from? Paulcloughonline.com podcast. There you go. We've got loads of them. Might add to the list with something like this. Have to let me know. Let me know if you, if that would be appropriate. Not appropriate if, that was something you you'd like to have. Now, you see, this is, as I say, following on from a little bit from the last podcast, because this is in some ways the antidote to fear and anxiety. It's not the only two. There's more, there's so many more things we can do, but these two just work really well. And that was a true story, by the way. It's exactly what I did. And now you can just go, well, now I'm ready to act. I did think that you might feel relieved, but I didn't want you to feel relieved. I just want you to feel confidence, confidence, your competence. We'll always learn more. And the most important thing about this, and I had to think about this, what is important about these two processes? What is important about the things I wanted to share with you? And the most important thing is it just simply works. Because it just works. They work, and it doesn't take years. You don't have to go back to the root cause of all your anxiety. You do sometimes if it keeps coming up, and we all do, you know, you do therapy on this stuff and it doesn't have to be long therapy, by the way. We can do therapy and, we do more processes, get our unconscious mind to learn, learn from the root cause of it. But on these things, what come up and just blindside you sometimes? Well, you've now got, another set of resources. So bookmark this, listen to it again, get it in there, make a few notes. Not many notes to make, really, is there? So you can remove anxiety, fear, all that blooming stuff, overwhelm, panic. Because m the thing is, everything we've talked about, the things you were thinking about were not real because they haven't happened. And now, because if you do this, it won't, it'll happen in a different way. There you go. I hope you enjoyed that. I really do. I enjoyed saying it or saying it. Sharing it made me relive a few things, and I didn't relive the, the panic because it's no longer there. I relived what I did and how it, how it felt to be able to do that. And that's a good feeling too, by the way, knowing that you've just learned another skill. But, the thing is, let's go back to skills. You might even say, some people might even say, oh, I know all about this, Cloughie. I know it. Okay, if you know it a bit like me, I knew it, but I didn't always apply it. And mastery is the application of what you know, and, knowing what you're applying, that's a weird way of saying it. Clavy is knowing what you do and doing what you know so you don't have to know a lot, but do what you know and then know you're doing what you know and then learn a bit more. And as you learn a bit more, do what you know and know what you do and keep it going. Increase that skill set. Life gets so much better that way. And it's a great adventure to keep learning, keep finding these new ways. I love it. I love it. I'll keep sharing with you. I'd love your feedback on this or any, of the other episodes. Just please, just please email me m [e-mail].

let me know your thoughts. Can I improve it? I'd love to improve everything I do

let me know your thoughts. Can I improve it? I'd love to improve everything I do. Hopefully, if you go back to the very first one, you'll notice a huge difference. But if there's anything I can improve or anything you'd like to like me to share, find a process, explore with you ways to change, because we're going to do it easily, effortlessly and comfortably quickly, because that's what we do and making it permanent. So there you go. If you see anybody who you know has talked about being anxious about things, worrying about things, hey, share this episode with them if you can. Share it verbally. When I say share it verbally, share what you know, because if you can explain this, you'll realize that how ah much you've learned. If there's a gap in your learning and you can't quite explain it well, then you can come back and learn that a little bit more to get it in the muscle. But also share them the episode, if you would. And if you're new here, you enjoyed it. I'd love you to subscribe if you want to leave a little feedback, but I found out lately it's very hard giving reviews. I think sometimes you can put like a star and a five star, but finding places to write the review is quite difficult. I tried it on a couple of podcasts and I couldn't find the bloody thing. So if you tell me where that is, that would be great. But just subscribe and share and, we'll make this world a little bit better day by day. And one way you could do that is having more fun than you can stand, as we say. So go fly, my friend, and enjoy. Bye bye.

Warner, leave Paul Clough behind and focus on personal development

Now.

Warner, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

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