376: Listen for the Whispers of Abuse

From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Episode Overview: In this episode, we dive into the sensitive topic of abuse with Dr. Jennifer Gardella. Jennifer shares her personal journey through abusive relationships, highlighting the subtle and often overlooked signs of abuse. This episode serves as a guide to recognizing, understanding, and healing from abuse. Key Points: Jennifer’s Story: Jennifer explains how abuse can start subtly, often with a belief system instilled from a young age that one is not worthy and must depend on others. She shares her experience of unknowingly attaching herself to an abuser who initially seemed perfect, a process known as love bombing. Understanding Love Bombing: Love bombing involves excessive compliments, gifts, and attention early in the relationship, creating a trauma bond. Examples include lavish gifts and expensive vacations within weeks of meeting. The Cycle of Abuse: Abusers slowly pull their victims deeper into the relationship, gaining control and manipulating them. Jennifer discusses how her abuser encouraged her to move in with him and gradually isolated her from her own life and career. Impact on Family: Jennifer’s children played a significant role in her realization and escape from the abusive relationship. Her children saw the abuse and were instrumental in encouraging her to leave. The Role of COVID-19: The pandemic acted as a catalyst for Jennifer to leave her abusive situation. She shares how she and her daughters used the opportunity to move out and start anew. Recognizing Domestic Violence: Domestic violence is a systematic pattern of power and control, not just physical abuse. It includes emotional, psychological, and financial manipulation. Healing Journey: Jennifer emphasizes the importance of doing the work to heal, including therapy, support groups, and programs. She highlights the effectiveness of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) in her healing process. Advice for Victims and Supporters: For victims: It's okay to take time to leave; do safety planning. For supporters: Be gentle and supportive, understanding the complexities of leaving an abusive relationship. For everyone: Do the work to heal, and find a specialist or program that resonates with you. Final Thoughts: Jennifer encourages everyone to seek help and support, emphasizing that healing is a personal journey that can be done privately. Learn More About Dr. Jennifer Gardella: Visit her website: JenniferGardella.com (under construction but accessible). Resources: The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com