That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding podcast

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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#188 12 ways to make decision-making easier (and why people who hoard find it so hard to make decisions in the first place!) 38:28

6 days ago38:28

38:28

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Decision-making can be a huge stumbling block when you’re trying to tackle hoarding, from cognitive overload to perfectionism and decision fatigue. In this episode, I unpack why making choices about our belongings feels so overwhelming, what can go wrong if we avoid it, and I share practical strategies to make the process more manageable. If you find yourself stuck in analysis paralysis or endlessly putting off decisions, this one’s for you. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding , and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Introduction to Decision Making and Hoarding Decision making as a common issue among hoarders Overwhelm and avoidance connected to belongings and acquiring new items Episode aims: understanding why decision making is hard, consequences of indecision, and strategies to help Why Decision Making is Difficult for People Who Hoard Cognitive Overload Too many items to process, making each choice feel monumental Resulting in avoidance and deferral of decisions Accumulation due to unresolved decisions Analysis Paralysis Being stuck analysing endless options and outcomes Difficulty prioritising and overthinking decisions Exhaustion from mental effort Information Processing Challenges Trouble prioritising urgency and importance Struggling to filter necessary versus unnecessary information Being trapped in unresolvable decision loops Emotional Barriers Perfectionism and fear of making the wrong decision Catastrophising possible negative outcomes All-or-nothing thinking relating to perfectionism Sentimental Attachment Struggles with emotional connection to items (gifts, memories) Difficulty discerning genuine sentimental value Fear of the Future Anxiety about future need or regret causing paralysis Preference for clinging to items over risking discomfort Executive Function Challenges Difficulties with planning, organising, prioritising, and initiating tasks Impact of poor working memory on decision making Consequences of Avoiding Decisions Vicious Cycle of Procrastination Accumulation of clutter, increased overwhelm and fatigue Practical Implications Safety hazards and restricted home usage Social isolation and relationship strain due to inability to host Emotional Impact Stress, depression, guilt, and shame Financial Consequences Extra spending, buying duplicates, damage or loss of items, missed bills and penalties Building Negative Self-Perceptions Belief in inability to decide reinforces avoidance Declining self-trust and self-esteem Strategies and Techniques for Improving Decision Making Identify Resistance and Mental Blocks Questioning internal "nope" responses Understanding fears or overwhelming factors behind avoidance Treat Decisions as Experiments Lowering pressure by seeing outcomes as learning experiences Avoiding a pass/fail mindset Make Micro-Decisions Starting with low-stakes, emotionally neutral items Building decision-making confidence ("decision muscle") Utilise Support Systems Seeking feedback or accountability from friends, family, organisers, or therapists Sense-checking and encouragement from others Clarify Values and Priorities Aligning decisions with personal goals (e.g., hospitality, functionality, beauty) Using values as a decision compass Set Time Limits Imposing limits per decision to prevent overthinking Adjusting duration as confidence improves Accept “Good Enough” Decisions Allowing for adequacy over perfection Challenging double standards around self-expectations versus others Reduce Number of Choices Limiting possible options (e.g., keep/throw/donate) Pre-determining criteria to streamline choices Reality Checks Probing feelings of “I might need it” with practical questions Reviewing usage frequency and functionality Increase Awareness of Avoidance Noticing procrastination and avoidance behaviours Evaluating the significance of indecision as a barrier Build Tolerance for Uncertainty and Discomfort Accepting that discomfort is part of life, and not deciding brings other difficulties Gradually practicing sitting with uncertainty Practice Consistency in Decision Making Incorporating daily decision-making habits Gently challenging avoidance and celebrating each choice made Decision-making is a learnable, improvable skill The importance of starting small and practicing imperfect decisions Building self-trust and confidence through repeated practice Encouragement to challenge avoidance and recognise growth with each decision Links Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding , and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. Podcast ep 172: Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family belongings and personal growth, in the film Where Dragons Live Podcast ep 186: 10 executive dysfunction tips and tricks to help people who hoard, whether we have ADHD or are neurodivergent or not – Hoarding Awareness Week 2025 Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt Podcast ep 162: From Fibble to Focus: Defibble your executive dysfunction with Jo Cavalot Podcast ep 112: Executive function, executive dysfunction and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 149: ADHD, hoarding and clutter with Susie Boutal, ADHD and Declutter Coach Podcast ep 107: Things that look like hoarding but aren’t: ADHD, depression, autism, OCD, OCPD and more Podcast ep 40: ADHD and hoarding with Dr Sharon Morein Podcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 28: Avoid analysis paralysis by having ‘systems’ Podcast ep 49: Sitting with discomfort: distress tolerance and hoarding – How unconscious distress avoidance might be worsening your problems Reasons to be Cheerful with Ed Miliband Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here…

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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#187 What if we focused less on self-care and more on self-nurture to progress our hoarding recovery? 37:23

14 days ago37:23

37:23

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Self-care gets a lot of airtime these days, but I’ve started rethinking what it actually means, especially when you’re struggling with hoarding disorder. In this episode, I talk about why marketed, consumer-driven “self-care” just adds more pressure, and why nurturing yourself with compassion, connection, and practical routines is far more effective. Plus, I share some genuinely helpful, low-cost ways to support yourself without adding to the clutter - or your to-do list. Self-Care in Modern Times Evolution of the meaning of “self-care”: The older, practical definition (basic hygiene, nourishment) Current consumer-driven, extravagant interpretations Critique of modern self-care commercialisation Challenges of Hoarding and Mental Health Struggles Emotional toll of hoarding disorder Stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, grief The exhausting process of trying to “fix” things Daily stressors of living in a hoard Feelings of failure, constant reminders, adrenaline spikes from unexpected visitors, tripping over items The Real Purpose of Self-Care Balancing negative emotions (stress, grief, trauma) with activities that nurture the soul Evaluating popular self-care advice The problem with universal, commercialised recommendations Importance of individualised, inward-looking approaches Introducing the Concept of "Self-Nurture" How self-nurture differs from self-care Greater compassion, sustainability, and personalisation Emphasis on looking inwards for individual needs Practical examples of self-nurturing activities The Pitfalls of Commercialised Self-Care The “shoulds” culture and guilt surrounding unmet self-care standards Surface-level versus meaningful acts of care How marketed solutions often do not address real needs Guilt and shame when unable to practice recommended self-care (especially for those who hoard) Consumer Culture and Self-Care Self-care as a commodified experience: Encouragement to buy unnecessary products How this affects people who hoard Risk of exacerbating clutter by acquiring more as “self-care” Focus on external fixes rather than internal wellbeing The Benefits of Self-Nurture Self-nurture as inexpensive or free Focus on activities rather than acquisitions Finding joy or restoration in simple practices (e.g., using what you have, accessing the library, running without specialised gear) Compassionate Self-Nurture in Practice Asking internal questions about core needs (physical, emotional, psychological) Treating oneself as one would treat a person they love Emphasis on gentle, non-critical, incremental progress Drinking water for wellbeing rather than obligation Time in nature, connecting with friends, creativity, self-acceptance Building Emotional Security and Gentleness Establishing emotional security as a core need Managing self-criticism and reaching out for connection despite anxiety Celebration of small wins and progress Validating and acknowledging difficult feelings with compassion Evaluating and Choosing Nurturing Activities Key questions to ask: “Will this nurture me emotionally, psychologically, or physically?” Differentiating between genuine needs and justifying unnecessary purchases Avoidance of reinforcing negative patterns through acquisition Developing a Personal Toolbox for Self-Nurture Gathering and customising strategies that work Routines and coping mechanisms Taking stock of helpful techniques, personalising approaches Recognising and valuing unique sources of restoration Top Tip DIY, low-cost tip for cleaning the dishwasher with household items Encouragement to take any step, however small, towards self-nurture Links The "feeling your feelings" episode Episodes talking about the inner critic: with Steve Chapman ; about the song that changed everything for me ; and about making mistakes Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast…

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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#186 10 executive dysfunction tips and tricks to help people who hoard, whether we have ADHD or are neurodivergent or not - Hoarding Awareness Week 2025 36:47

20 days ago36:47

36:47

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ For Hoarding Awareness Week 2025, I’m focusing on executive function - the brain’s control centre for planning, starting, and finishing tasks - and the small, practical hacks that can make a genuine difference for people who hoard, whether or not we have ADHD or are neurodivergent. I talk about real-life tips for breaking the overwhelm, managing perfectionism, building momentum, and overcoming shame, all with the aim of making progress sustainable and achievable in your day-to-day life. This episode is all about honest advice that actually works, whether you’re in the thick of it or just looking for a few smarter ways to approach this. Hoarding Awareness Week 2025 and its theme: Hoarding & Executive Function Recognition that executive function challenges impact both neurodivergent and neurotypical people Executive Function and Hoarding Previous podcast episodes relating to executive function, ADHD, and hoarding Importance of using effective hacks and techniques, regardless of neurotype Emphasis on finding what works personally for each listener The Realities and Challenges of Tackling Hoarding Overwhelm and daunting feelings about dehoarding Breaking tasks into small, manageable parts Focus on actionable, day-to-day strategies rather than long-term, rigid planning Understanding Executive Function Explanation of what executive function is (control centre for planning, focus, and impulse control) Factors that can impair executive function (neurodivergence, mental health, stress, lack of sleep, etc.) Universality of executive dysfunction - everyone struggles at times Emotional Barriers: Perfectionism and Shame The cycle of shame and self-blame in executive dysfunction and hoarding Societal judgment around hoarding, and its paralysing effects Strategies for stepping back, naming emotions, and cultivating self-compassion Core Executive Dysfunction Tips and Hacks Breaking Tasks Down Setting realistic micro-goals The concept of “towards” vs. “away” moves in progress Tracking Progress Counting bags/items leaving the house Caution against tracking becoming burdensome for some Using Timers Setting short (e.g., 5-minute) timers to help with task initiation Use of voice assistants to avoid distraction Reverse-timer technique to use end of music/podcast as a cue for action The Two-Minute Rule Limitations and personal adaptations of rule Identifying Motivations Creating visual or written reminders of why you want to dehoard Acceptance of some tools working only temporarily, and switching when necessary Reward Systems Small, non-material rewards for completing tasks Linking listening to desired media (like the podcast) with decluttering activities Non-Negotiable Rules Creating routines to reduce decision fatigue (e.g., charity bags leave home immediately) Body Doubling Doing tasks alongside others (physically or virtually, like in the host’s Zoom sessions) Emotional/moral support of parallel accountability Alternative ways to body double if group support isn’t accessible Time Blocking and Scheduling Using calendars and reminders to schedule decluttering sessions Flexibly adapting this strategy based on personal response Habit Stacking Linking a new task to an established routine (e.g., unloading dishwasher while kettle boils) Using “add-ons” for frequently-visited spaces (e.g., clearing five things each time you enter the bathroom) Links Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt Podcast ep 162: From Fibble to Focus: Defibble your executive dysfunction with Jo Cavalot Podcast ep 112: Executive function, executive dysfunction and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 149: ADHD, hoarding and clutter with Susie Boutal, ADHD and Declutter Coach Podcast ep 107: Things that look like hoarding but aren’t: ADHD, depression, autism, OCD, OCPD and more Podcast ep 40: ADHD and hoarding with Dr Sharon Morein Podcast ep 82: Dehoarding when you’re drowning with KC Davis of Struggle Care Podcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 184: What if we actually felt the feelings? An honest conversation about trauma, hoarding, and allowing yourself to feel Podcast ep 28: Avoid analysis paralysis by having ‘systems’ Arielle and Ned's Daily Tips That May or May Not Help You Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here…

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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#185 Engaging with our stuff: why we keep things but don’t use them, with Dr Jan Eppingstall 1:14:19

27 days ago1:14:19

1:14:19

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In this episode, I’m with Dr Jan Eppingstall, a Melbourne-based counsellor and hoarding expert extraordinaire. We unpack the concept of engaging with our belongings - actually seeing, touching, and using the things we tend to accumulate, rather than letting them fade into the background. Jan shares insights from her work, explains why we often feel safer just owning stuff instead of interacting with it, and offers practical ways to build a healthier, more intentional relationship with what we own. There are some genuinely enlightening moments, and plenty of ideas for anyone looking to break free from an excess of stuff. Defining "Engaging with Our Stuff" What it means to actually engage with possessions (seeing, touching, using) Comparison to possessions fading into the background The idea of using versus just possessing objects Patterns of Engagement Among People Who Hoard Sense of safety from being surrounded by possessions without interaction Only the "top layer" of possessions typically being used Loss of intention behind keeping sentimental or useful items The psychological comfort of having versus using objects Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Compulsive Hoarding Emotional connection to the potential of objects rather than actual objects Avoidance of decision-making by not engaging/touching items Security and reassurance derived from the mere presence of items Defeatism and pointlessness associated with searching for or using objects Barriers to Engaging with Possessions Overwhelm from the sheer volume of stuff Active resistance and avoidance behaviours Feelings of incompetence and adaptation through purchasing duplicates Guilt associated with over-accumulation Benefits of Actively Engaging with Possessions Rediscovering useful or wanted items when sorting Increased awareness of what is owned and where it is Neurological and psychological benefits of tactile interaction Insights gained from using and trying on items (e.g., clothing) Decision-making as a muscle that strengthens with practice Realisations about unnecessary duplicates (e.g., multiple ladles in the kitchen) Emotional and practical hurdles in finding homes for items Perfectionism and rigidity around item placement and organisation Moving, Arranging, and Re-organising Possessions Resistance to moving items from "their place" due to tradition, attachment, or perfectionism Fear of forgetting where things are if organisational changes are made Multi-step decision fatigue when organising The importance of flexible, evolving systems for item placement Confronting Avoidance and Overwhelm The value of small steps, e.g., simply looking into an avoided bag or space The myth of a “good reason” for keeping certain items, often dispelled when items are revisited Developing Healthier, More Intentional Relationships with Stuff Introducing intention and ritual to everyday interactions with possessions “Rotation stations” and seasonal evaluation/rituals Benefits of conscious handling, organisation, and maintenance Cultural Perspectives and Practices Japanese concepts: Te Ate : hand-care, tactile connection as a ritual Mushiboshi : seasonal airing and assessment of items Ma : meaningful emptiness/space as a source of tranquillity Contrasts between Western consumerism and other cultural approaches to possessions Challenges and Solutions in Organising and Letting Go The impact of spatial processing or organisational difficulties Accepting that resistance to change is sometimes due to overwhelm Personalisation and Flexibility in Managing Possessions Tailoring organisation and engagement to one’s own needs, routines, and neurodiversity Maximalism and the need for varying levels of stimulus—distinguishing between maximalism and chaos Allowing spaces to be intentionally clear, embracing the benefits of emptiness The ongoing journey of developing intentionality with possessions The importance of kindness and patience with oneself in making these changes Links Podcast ep 146: Where Dragons Live and what we leave behind Podcast ep 172: Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family belongings and personal growth, in the film Where Dragons Live How to watch Where Dragons Live Podcast ep 53: The Endowment Effect and hoarding – How this cognitive bias makes you feel the need to keep everything Podcast ep 124: How the little-known Hummingbird Method can help you to dehoard the areas you’ve been avoiding Podcast ep 74: Couples and hoarding: An interview with Laura Silverstein, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist Podcast ep 140: How to cope with – or help – a partner who hoards, with Laura Silverstein, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt Elis James and John Robins podcast Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Dr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffology https://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/ https://twitter.com/stuff_ology https://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/ Dr Jan Eppingstall on Pinterest Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast…

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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#184 What if we actually felt the feelings? An honest conversation about trauma, hoarding, and allowing yourself to feel 26:06

5 weeks ago26:06

26:06

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ This week, I talk about what happens when I actually let myself feel the tough emotions instead of shutting them down - a pattern that's shaped my life and my struggles with hoarding, self-harm, and eating disorders. After a thought-provoking conversation with Anna Sale on Death, Sex & Money last year, I started questioning whether avoiding feelings has helped or hurt me in the long run and have been trying to process that ever since! I share what it’s like to sit with big emotions, experiment with messy ways to cope, and why feeling the feelings might just be a way forward. Avoiding Feelings Realisation that I tend to do anything rather than feel difficult emotions. Recent personal reflection and processing feelings over the past few months. Impact of mental health and a PTSD flare-up on my ability to manage feelings. Connecting Coping Mechanisms to Avoidance Experience with PTSD, self-harm, anorexia, and bulimia as different forms of not feeling or avoiding emotions. Insights from an interview with Anna Sale on Death, Sex & Money that linked these coping together as forms of avoidance. Acknowledgment that these strategies were more than just avoidance - also punitive, protective, and multifaceted. The Cost and Pattern of Emotional Avoidance Compartmentalising as a lifelong coping skill and its negative long-term consequences. Difficulty breaking the habit of not feeling and the impact on my sense of identity. Recognition that suppressing feelings can be as damaging as (or more damaging than) the feelings themselves. Actively Facing and Processing Feelings Engaging in therapy, journaling (both resentful and creative/collage style), and reading poetry to access emotions. Talking more openly with friends as a supportive measure. Forcing myself to do enjoyable activities (like getting outside), which helps counteract avoidance. Community, Connection, and Support Impact of Trauma and Suppression on Daily Life How PTSD and unprocessed sadness began affecting sleep, revealing that suppressing feelings is no longer effective. Discusses the challenge of letting oneself feel emotions, both by choice and when overcome involuntarily. The risks of being overwhelmed and the delicate balance between feeling and avoidance. Learning and Conversations About Emotional Acceptance Revisiting lessons from previous podcast guests about the counterproductivity of suppressing or over-intellectualising feelings. The concept that suppressed emotions may “come out sideways” through other behaviours, like self-harm or hoarding. Nuanced view of coping mechanisms - not labeling them as purely negative since they served protective purposes. Vulnerability, Shame, and Deepening Relationships Gradual willingness to share deeper, more distressing moments with friends. Examining the reasons behind the instinct to hide intense distress. How vulnerability leads to stronger, more meaningful connections. Positive Effects of Feeling the Hard Stuff Discovering that feeling hard emotions increases the capacity to feel positive emotions more deeply. Finding deeper love, joy, and beauty in everyday experiences. Recognising the importance of support systems when exploring difficult emotions. Reflection and Encouragement for Listeners Encourages listeners to be curious about their own patterns of avoidance and coping. Cautions that intentionally feeling emotions is difficult and requires support. The hopeful observation that allowing feelings can be cathartic, gratifying, and healing—even if it’s uncomfortable. Links My interview on Death, Sex & Money Podcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 169: Compassion-focused therapy for grief and hoarding with Dr Chia-Ying Chou Podcast ep 172: Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family belongings and personal growth, in the film Where Dragons Live Declutter Hub podcast Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast…

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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REMIX: How to declutter when you're really busy: dehoarding in tiny time slots and other tips 40:44

6 weeks ago40:44

40:44

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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REMIX: The little-known Hummingbird Method for tackling avoidance in dehoarding 32:58

7 weeks ago32:58

32:58

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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#183 ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt 58:46

8 weeks ago58:46

58:46

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In this episode, I chat with Carrie Lagerstedt, a professional home organiser specialising in working with neurodivergent people in New Zealand. Carrie, diagnosed with ADHD herself, shares insights on managing clutter and executive dysfunction by creating home systems that work for us. We challenge the very idea of laziness and explore the potential of “may as well”. Buy your copy at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding , and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Carrie's background and transition from teaching to organising Neurodivergence and Clutter Common issues linking neurodivergence with clutter Out of sight, out of mind Sensory overwhelm and its effect on executive functioning Challenges faced by those with executive dysfunction Carrie's Experience with ADHD Benefits of having ADHD when working with clients with similar challenges Building trust through lived experiences and understanding Moral neutrality and Organising KC Davis' influence on Carrie's philosophy Moral neutrality and functionality in organising Debunking the concept of laziness Challenges of living up to capitalist expectations Systems for Neurodivergent Individuals Making the home work for individuals Difference between aspirational thinking and functional changes Importance of practical systems over willpower Executive Functioning and Organisational Strategies Tools used to aid working memory and organisation (e.g., Post-its) Cognitive flexibility and overcoming 'all or nothing' thinking Understanding blocks and identifying actionable solutions Personal Experiences and Adjustments Personal stories and realisations regarding household tasks Impact of habituation and changing perspectives on tasks Tools and Hacks for Developing Systems Categorising as key to organisation Using visual reminders and structured systems…

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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REMIX: The emotional impact of emergency dehoarding 40:22

9 weeks ago40:22

40:22

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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#182 What are "towards and away moves" and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall 44:52

10 weeks ago44:52

44:52

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Today, I'm joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to unpack "towards moves" and "away moves" in the context of hoarding. These terms might sound unusual, but they're crucial for understanding behaviour in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how they relate to our values. It's all about recognising whether our actions are leading us closer to what matters or pulling us further away, and we'll be exploring how to identify and pivot those choices. Introduction to Towards Moves and Away Moves Definition and explanation of the concept. The relevance of these moves in dealing with hoarding disorder. Initial thoughts on the impact of small actions. Examples in a Hoarding Context Away moves (e.g., keeping craft supplies, avoiding recognising chaos). Towards moves (e.g., donating supplies, acknowledging home environment issues). Explanation of how values influence these moves. Role of Values in Decision Making Importance of determining personal values. How values affect choices and provide motivation. Impact of materialism and societal pressures on values. Cognitive Fusion Explanation and examples of cognitive fusion. The effect of tightly held beliefs on reality and actions. Discussion of accuracy vs. helpfulness of thoughts. Flexibility vs. Rigidity and Perfectionism Psychological inflexibility and societal expectations. The struggle between personal values and societal pressures. The concept of emotional flexibility and its importance. Recognising Towards and Away Moves Strategies for acknowledging and reflecting on these moves. Importance of awareness in decision-making processes. Dopamine and Pleasure vs. Meaning The role of dopamine in pleasure and motivation. Discussion on short-term pleasure vs. long-term meaning. How these insights influence approach and avoidance behaviours. Making Changes and Addressing Moves Creating “if-then” plans to anticipate moves. Reflecting on decisions and their outcomes. Recognising patterns and using past experiences to guide future actions. Role of Helpers in Towards and Away Moves Identification and importance of helpers like goal setting and values clarification. Challenges faced by individuals with attentional deficits. Votes for the Person You Want to Be Connection between choices and self-identity. Concept of actions as votes for future selves. First Steps to Take More Towards Moves Starting with value clarification exercises. Questions to help determine what’s important personally. Encouragement to explore inner motivations and experiences.…

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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#181 Past influences and future possibilities: cause and effect and hoarding disorder (plus Podcasthon) 29:44

11 weeks ago29:44

29:44

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Podcasthon Mind, the mental health charity Support Mind During a recent drive with a perfectly curated playlist, I had a revelation about cause and effect, particularly how our past behaviours and experiences contribute to both our challenges and our successes. I talk about having a compassionate understanding of how we've arrived at our current situation and how small, mindful actions today can shape a more positive future. The episode also features a discussion on Podcasthon and highlights the UK mental health charity Mind. Explanation of Podcasthon: A week where podcasts highlight a charity. Mind Charity: Focus on the mental health charity Mind in the UK. Audio Clip: Sharing a video of Mind's work, with a translation of a Welsh sentence. Cause and Effect Discussion Insight through Music: Personal anecdote about creating a playlist for a long drive. The role of personal actions in positive outcomes. Life and Hoarding: Exploring causes of both positive and negative outcomes in life. Factors influencing hoarding: Trauma, scarcity, and mental health challenges. Behaviour evolution: Hoarding behaviours becoming normal over time. Impact of Life Experiences Examining past experiences and their contributions to current behaviours. Considering past without judgment as a way to understand hoarding. Facing Reality Objective Assessment: Evaluating the current state of living conditions. Navigating feelings like anger, sadness, and bitterness. Future Implications Positive Actions: How they can shape a better future. Accountability and Responsibility: Recognising the impact of present actions.…

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#180 Arts and crafts and pretty, pretty things: artists, aesthetics and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall 1:16:51

12 weeks ago1:16:51

1:16:51

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In this episode, I'm joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to explore a fascinating angle on hoarding: its artistic side. We'll tackle the connection between creativity and hoarding, including why so many people who hoard are into arts and crafts, and diving into how people who hoard might view their possessions in an unusually aesthetic light. Jan shares insights from both clinical experience and research, offering a fresh perspective on the parallels between art and accumulation. Whether you're a creative type or just curious about the psychology behind collecting, this conversation will give you plenty to think about. Curiosity: Example of using curiosity to cope with pain. Gratitude: Using the Finch app to practice gratitude daily. Journaling: Imperfect journaling as a new approach to managing emotions. Arty, Crafty Side of Hoarding Trends seen in clients regarding art and hoarding The challenge of managing craft supplies in people who hoard Analysing Creativity and Hoarding Comparison to detectives and acute perception Consideration of feeling overlooked Struggles with Crafting and Perfectionism Challenges in starting and completing craft projects Study on Artists and Hoarding Traits shared by studio artists and people who hoard ADHD and executive dysfunction parallels Art and Beauty in Hoarding Tendency to keep beautiful things Struggles with displaying or appreciating collected items Analysis of Andy Warhol's Accumulation Discussion of Warhol’s collection as art vs. hoarding Socioeconomic and behavioural aspects of collecting vs. hoarding Aesthetics and Inclusion in Hoarding Discussion of under-inclusiveness in categorising objects Exploration of seeing beauty in ordinary objects Potential Neurodevelopmental Aspects of Hoarding Insights from MRI study Brain regions potentially linked to hoarding behaviours Using Art to Represent Hoarding Space Artists using clutter and hoarding as themes in art Questioning the nature of representing hoarding through art Fear of Sterile and Soulless Homes Addressing the fear that tidiness equals lack of personality Discussing clutter core and maximising aesthetic displays…

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#179 How hoarding behaviours develop and early intervention for hoarding disorder, with Dr Victoria Ruby-Granger 43:17

13 weeks ago43:17

43:17

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In this episode, I'm chatting with Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger, a psychologist at De Montfort University who has researched how hoarding behaviours develop and the potential for early intervention. We explore the importance of looking beyond physical clutter to understand what possessions mean for those with hoarding tendencies and discuss the role of trauma, loss and life transitions. Plus, we touch on the challenges and potential pathways for early intervention in children and young people. Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger's Path to Studying Hoarding Influence of TV programmes about hoarding. Curiosity about the development of hoarding behaviours. Research on Hoarding Behaviours and Childhood Discussion on hoarding behaviours beginning in childhood or adolescence. Experiences shared by research participants. Understanding 'Struggling to Manage' Explanation of the concept derived from research. Methods used by Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger in her research. Qualitative study and grounded theory methodology. Patterns of Hoarding Development Managing possessions and life. Emotional attachments and meanings of possessions. Impact of life transitions on hoarding behaviour. Overcoming Hoarding Challenges Importance of support beyond possessions Identity and functioning challenges for individuals with hoarding disorder. Early Intervention in Hoarding Difficulty in identifying people who need early intervention. Importance of awareness and understanding childhood behaviours. Diagnostic Criteria and Support Challenges Discussion on current diagnostic criteria for hoarding disorder. Difficulties in accessing support without a diagnosis. Potential Patterns and Findings in Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger's Research Emotional attachments and decision-making reluctance. Preferences for discarding possessions through certain methods. Advice for Parents about children showing hoarding behaviours Recommendations for parents of children displaying hoarding-related behaviours. Importance of communication and understanding the emotional meanings attached to items. Emphasis on trauma and loss in hoarding behaviours. Importance of understanding personal experiences in hoarding…

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#178 Growing up in a hoarded home: Sam’s story as the child of a Mum who hoards 51:38

14 weeks ago51:38

51:38

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In this episode I chat with Sam, who speaks movingly about growing up with a mother who hoards. Now 28, Sam reflects on the claustrophobic environment, the impact on their self-esteem and organisation, and the ongoing journey to rebuild a relationship with food, space, and self-worth. Whether you're a hoarder, the child of somebody who hoards, or you know someone who is, Sam's story offers a vital perspective on living through - and beyond - the hoard. Sam’s experience growing up in a hoarded home Importance of understanding perspectives of those affected by hoarding Sam’s Childhood Experience Description of upbringing in a hoarded home Emotional impact and feelings of claustrophobia and anxiety Lack of emotional and physical space Experiences of shame and comparison with peers Coping Mechanisms and Effects on Daily Life Sam's view of their home as an obstacle course Impact of hoarding on family relationships Lack of privacy and its influence on personal development Impact on Self-Esteem and Mental Health Struggle with self-esteem and self-care Connection between environment and depression Feelings of negativity and isolation School and Social Interactions Effect on academic performance and organisational skills Challenges in completing schoolwork Experiences with friends visiting the home and related anxieties Adolescence and Growing Awareness Anger and frustration during teenage years Lack of external intervention and support Missed opportunities for professional help External Perception and Professional Insight Outside family and societal perceptions of hoarding Drip-feeding experiences to others and feeling of overwhelming others Relationship with Food and Nutrition Negative perceptions of food due to spoiling and smells Ongoing struggle with eating certain foods, particularly fruit Rebuilding a relationship with food as an adult Leaving the Home and Independence Sam’s experience and decision to move out at 20 Challenges and processes involved in leaving the parental hoarded home Continued responsibilities in a second hoarded home Long-term Effects on Sam’s Adult Life Influence on career choice and support work with young carers Ongoing challenges with personal organisation and self-care Struggles with mental health and burnout Sam’s Relationship with Family Complex relationship dynamics with parents Lack of understanding from parents regarding Sam’s struggles and decisions Reflection on parental insight into hoarding and its effects on family Current Relationship with Hoarding and Cleaning Sam’s approach to possessions Emotional responses to cleaning and organising tasks Developing the skillset for maintaining an organised living space Message for Others Experiencing Similar Situations Encouragement for other young carers and children of hoarders Importance of self-worth and identity outside of hoarding stigmas Strategies for mental health and personal growth Final Thoughts and Reflections Reflections on how sharing and exploration helps understanding Hope for the interview to be beneficial to listeners with similar experiences…

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#177 11 unexpected things this podcast has taught me about mistakes, life, perfectionism and progress 38:28

15 weeks ago38:28

38:28

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Today, I'm reflecting on 11 unexpected lessons I've picked up since starting this podcast, which go beyond just understanding hoarding disorder. From learning the power of showing progress rather than perfection, to discovering the benefits of stepping out of my comfort zone, I'll share insights that have influenced not just my journey with hoarding, but life as a whole. Let's see how the themes of mistakes, progress, and learning can apply to anyone seeking positive change. Importance of showing progress instead of aiming for perfection Personal struggle with early episodes and progression over time Decision to keep early episodes live as a reflection of journey and growth Examining Contradictions Realisation of contradictions in personal life versus podcasting Applying podcast editing philosophy to home tidying Capabilities and Achievements Realisation of being able to do things previously thought impossible Learning from incremental progress and its application to life Comfort Zones Exploring stepping outside of comfort zones The rewards of nudging the edges and expanding comfort zones slowly Learning and Growth Starting from minimal knowledge and continuously learning Academic engagement and gaining comprehensive understanding Sticking to a Routine Maintaining a consistent schedule and routine with the podcast Role of accountability and motivation in sticking to a routine Adaptability and Change Ability to learn, adapt, and tweak processes over time Application of flexibility learned from podcasting to personal life Community and Accountability Impact of accountability and community support on podcasting and life Building mutual support through interactions and feedback Facing Mistakes and Reality Embracing mistakes and authenticity rather than striving for flawlessness Shifting perspective on self-perceived failures Respect and Compassion from Others Receiving respect from guests and listeners despite personal doubts Impact on self-compassion and self-respect Transferability of Learning Applying lessons learned in podcasting to other areas of life Recognising that growth in one area can benefit others Reflections on the transformative impact of the podcast on life Encouragement to pursue growth and new experiences beyond direct goals…

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#176 What to do with clothes when we lose or gain weight (with absolutely NO diet-culture talk!): practical tips for dealing with size fluctuations without clutter 48:41

16 weeks ago48:41

48:41

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In today's episode, I talk about the practical challenges of handling clothes when losing or gaining weight, without promoting or criticising body size changes – this is a diet-culture free zone! I look at the emotional, nostalgic, and practical hurdles in letting go of clothes that no longer fit and offer advice on maintaining a well-balanced wardrobe while managing current size transitions. Like, what do we buy in our new size?! Plus, I'll provide practical tips on selling or donating old clothes and how to avoid over-accumulating in your new size. Handling Clothes When Gaining or Losing Weight Experience with Weight Fluctuation Emotional and Practical Challenges of Clothes That No Longer Fit Challenges of Discarding Clothes Emotional Attachment to Clothes Difficulty in Letting Go of Clothes with Memories or Associations Factors Influencing the Decision to Keep or Discard Clothes Potential Future Weight Fluctuations Emotional Attachments The Sunk Cost Fallacy Guilt About Waste Strategies for Managing Clothes When Weight Changes Building the Dehoarding Muscle Selling vs. Donating Clothes Setting Parameters for Clothing Storage Practical Solutions for Current Clothing Needs Shopping Your Own Stuff Gradual Replacement Strategy Mindful Purchasing Decisions The Liberating Aspects of Letting Go of Clothes…

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#175 Taking the scary first steps: the courage to call a professional organiser, with Jasmine Sleigh 1:00:35

17 weeks ago1:00:35

1:00:35

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In this episode, I'm joined by Jasmine Sleigh, professional declutterer, as we discuss the daunting first steps of reaching out for professional help in tackling hoarding. Jasmine shares insights into what prompts individuals to make that initial call and the courage it takes, alongside practical strategies for working with organisers. Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on overcoming fears and building trust for positive change in managing clutter. Inviting Professional Help Jasmine explains common motivators for people to seek help Specific incidents or realisations prompting action Example scenarios like misplaced items or repairs The Initial Call to a Professional Organiser What typically prompts the call for professional help Jasmine's perspective on admiration for those who reach out The importance of taking calls seriously and with empathy Engaging with Potential Clients Approach to initial conversations with potential clients Building trust and understanding the client's situation Establishing client needs and potential outcomes Assessing the Client’s Home How Jasmine gathers information about the client's home Importance of assessing without judgment Considering client interaction with their items and living space Professional Organiser-Client Dynamics Respecting clients’ preferences and leading decisions Balancing professional insight with client autonomy Working towards the client's goals and priorities Process from Inquiry to Working Together Steps from initial inquiry to in-home visit Managing client expectations and realities Ensuring client comfort and readiness In-Home Visit Experience Jasmine’s mindset and approach during a home visit Avoiding overwhelm and maintaining professionalism Logistical and emotional assessments of the client’s environment Judgment and Perception in the Decluttering Process Being conscious of non-verbal cues and judgments perceived by clients Strategies for maintaining client comfort and trust Determining Fit and Referrals Assessing fit between client and professional organiser Referring clients to other professionals when appropriate Dealing with Client Motivations and External Pressures Addressing clients seeking help due to external pressures Finding a balance between urgency and client readiness Ensuring Positive Outcomes and Encouraging Future Engagement Creating a sense of achievement for the client Fostering positive experiences to encourage future self-help Challenges and Responsibilities of Professional Organisers Ethical responsibilities and managing client expectations Building trust for effective collaboration Personal Reflections and Habits for Mental Health Jasmine shares personal habits that support her mental health Reflection on the importance of reading and self-care activities…

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#174 How to feel grounded when we're overwhelmed or dysregulated using ventral vagal spaces and touchstones, with Dr Jan Eppingstall 1:14:51

18 weeks ago1:14:51

1:14:51

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In today's episode, Dr Jan Eppingstall and I explore how to create a ventral vagal space or touchstone to help us regulate our emotions, drawing inspiration from the work of Deb Dana and polyvagal theory. We look at how we can find or create areas within our home, and objects we can use on the go, that provide safety and connection, allowing us to feel grounded and manage overwhelming moments. We'll look at the emotional significance of objects, avoiding those that glower at us, and instead creating spaces filled with comfort and warmth. Creating Your Own Ventral Vagal Space Permission Slip segment Discussion about photographic portraits Emotions associated with the portraits Objects as Memories Significant memories vs. happy memories Harriet Impey's notion of "glowering" objects Emotional Impact of Objects Portraits as a reminder of insecurity Ventral Vagal Space Concept Use of Deb Dana's work in polyvagal theory Connection between emotional safety and physical space Explanation of Polyvagal Theory Breakdown of the nervous system's stages: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal Relevance of Polyvagal Theory to Hoarding Trauma and its relation to object attachment Challenges of decision-making in a cluttered environment Deb Dana's Home Analogy - Comparison of home systems to body's autonomic systems Integration needed for a "full life" and connection Practical Application of Ventral Vagal Spaces Creating nourishing home spaces Abundance Importance of Touchstones Explanation and significance of touchstones Examples of personal or portable calming items Creating a Ventral Vagal Space or Touchstone Starting small by identifying objects that bring safety and contentment Using childhood memories to influence current safe spaces Applications and Benefits Using the space for emotional regulation Touchstones as portable reminders of safety Recognising objects that already serve as touchstones Importance of awareness and observation in identifying touchstones Utilising Resources for Grounding Examples of resources: lava lamps, messages, certain sounds Strategies for implementing these resources in daily life…

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#173 9 things that are working for me when tackling hoarding and over-acquiring right now 40:53

19 weeks ago40:53

40:53

Sign up for the newsletter: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/newsletter Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In today's episode, I'm sharing nine strategies that are making a real difference in managing my hoarding behaviour and curbing over-acquiring right now. From tricks to overcome perfectionism and opening a daunting pile of letters to finding support in unexpected places and even leveraging a cute app, these tactics are moving me forward. Join me as I lay out what's working, in the hope it sparks a few ideas for you too. Opening 100 unopened letters Overcoming fear and procrastination Sorting coins and dealing with obsolete items Decision-making process in letting go Recognising dehoarding as self-kindness, not punishment Benefits of having a friend who knows the hoarding situation Managing perfectionism and doing things imperfectly Using the "hummingbird method" for tasks Introduction and use of the Finch app for self-care Using virtual assistants for task reminders Success with excessive mug collection and food cupboards Impact of the documentary "Buy Now" on purchasing habits Changing relationship with the inner critic Overcoming Mail Anxiety Milestone Kindness, Not Chore Embrace Imperfection for Future Growth Hands-Free Task Management Best-before dates at the start of the year Consumerism Documentary Curbing Instant Gratification…

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#172 Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family belongings and personal growth, in the film Where Dragons Live 1:05:23

20 weeks ago1:05:23

1:05:23

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In today's episode, I chat with Harriet Impey about the complex process of clearing out her parents' cluttered house after their deaths. From unusual family rules to emotional ties with objects, we cover how Harriet navigated the challenges of sorting belongings, her family dynamics, and the personal growth she experienced along the way navigating emotional landscapes. We also talk about whether her parents hoarded and how their relationship with their stuff has affected her relationship with her stuff. Plus, we discuss the importance of letting go, embracing mindfulness, and the transformative power of therapy. Trailer: Where Dragons Live : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2ARgzYZei8 Growing up in a cluttered house and realisation later in life Harriet's mother's attachment to objects and possible hoarding Influence of family habits on personal behaviour Relationships and Emotional Awareness Harriet's journey towards emotional awareness and accepting imperfections Importance of recognising complex feelings Managing fear of arguments and expressing anger Using Objects Instead of Saving Them Harriet's family preference for keeping items "too special to use" Transition to using these items with joy Family Dynamics and Emotional Suppression Differences in attitudes towards possessions among Harriet and her siblings Parents' contrasting approaches to objects Impact of her mother's anxiety on household rules and behavior Clearing Out Parents' Home Harriet's responsibility in sorting through parental belongings Emotional impact of dealing with deceased person's possessions Reference to "Swedish Death Cleaning" Importance of considerate item management Therapy and Self-Reflection Harriet's 20 years of therapy and its impact The influence of therapy on personal happiness and self-awareness Learning to be less rigid in life Managing and Letting Go of Belongings Evaluating the necessity of keeping certain belongings Mindfulness and Mental Health Mindful self-compassion and ACT The filming of "Where Dragons Live" The dual charm and burden of the family home Personal Experiences and Family Impact…

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#171 Hi Ren: How a song dramatically changed my approach to my inner critic 41:44

21 weeks ago41:44

41:44

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-171-hi-ren-the-song-that-dramatically-changed-my-approach-to-my-inner-critic/ In this episode, I discuss Ren's song "Hi Ren," a mind-blowing exploration of inner conflict that blows apart ideas about the balance between darkness and light within us all. We'll unpack Ren's introspective lyrics, which explore themes like mental illness and creativity, and consider his take on life and what we can learn from it. I share how this song's impact has resonated with my own journey in dealing with grief and the inner critic. Watch the original song by Ren here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_nc1IVoMxc&pp=ygUGaGkgcmVu Impact of "Hi Ren" by Ren Gill on my life Relation to grief and managing the inner critic Themes of Strength and Hope Inner strength and resilience amidst challenges Inner Conflict Illness and psychological battles The pendulum metaphor, advocating acceptance Universal evil and inner conflict Dark side as defensive rather than malevolent Chaos and division as intrinsic parts of self Identification with 'hope' indicating a shift towards optimism Life as a Dance Complexity and humanity over supernatural perfection Episode contains sensitive topics including swearing, suicide, and mental distress Song Analysis Exploration of mental illness and creativity struggles Connection to personal inner critic experiences Dialogue between Ren's dark and light personas Discussion of inner conflict and personal growth Internal struggle about personal achievements Dark side's criticism of Ren’s insecurities Ren’s music achieving 43 million YouTube views Dark side as a symbol of temptation and negativity Host's parallel with personal inner critics Steve Chapman's TED talk on inner critics Emotional impact of "Hi Ren" song on the host Dark Ren attacks out of fear and insecurity. Inner critic misconstrues protection as help. Inner critic always undermines self-confidence, futile. Ren's song conveys hope's profound impact. Embrace change; it's an evolving balance. Struggling makes us human, imperfect, and relatable.…

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REMIX: The Art of Letting Go: Navigating emotional clutter blocks with Tracy McCubbin 1:34:51

22 weeks ago1:34:51

1:34:51

Get your 2025 decluttering inspiration calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025 Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/…

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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REMIX: ADHD, depression, autism, OCD, OCPD and more: Things that look like hoarding but aren't, with Dr Jan Eppingstall 1:32:10

23 weeks ago1:32:10

1:32:10

Get your 2025 decluttering inspiration calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025 Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/…

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#170 Impermanence: radical acceptance in a world of change with Dr Jan Eppingstall 1:02:32

24 weeks ago1:02:32

1:02:32

Get your 2025 decluttering inspo calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025 Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Exploring impermanence, this episode highlights how these concepts can help us understand hoarding behaviours and the illusion of control. Looking at impermanence also includes addressing mindfulness, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, coping with change, ambiguity and uncertainty. Yikes! Embracing Impermanence Psychological benefits of impermanence Concept of "glimmers" Interplay between mindfulness and impermanence Fernández-Campos paper on non-judgmental attention Critique of commercial distortion of mindfulness Jon Kabat-Zinn’s definition of mindfulness Practical mindfulness exercises Mindfulness in Hoarding Context Psychological dimensions and security from possessions Environmental Responsibility vs. Hoarding Personal insights on waste and possessions Uncertainty, Ambiguity, and Impermanence in Hoarding Tolerance of uncertainty and ambiguity Embracing impermanence to reduce distress Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Hoarding Psychological flexibility and acceptance of constant change ACT's promotion of resilience Use of ACT and Compassion Focused Therapy Radical Acceptance Steps to practice radical acceptance Awareness and curiosity toward challenges Vocalising Thoughts and Journaling Benefits of speaking thoughts aloud Buddhist Concepts and Impermanence Awareness and acceptance in Buddhism Tara Brach’s qualities of awareness Personal Reflections on Change and Relationships Resisting and coming to terms with change "Permission Slip" Segment Concept of Control and Suffering in Hoarding Desire for permanence leading to hoarding behaviour Justifications for Keeping Items Avoiding unnecessary consumption Ethical decision-making when buying Increasing Awareness and Understanding Personal Motivations Promoting curiosity through being without something…

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#169 Compassion-focused therapy for grief and hoarding with Dr Chia-Ying Chou 43:30

25 weeks ago43:30

43:30

Get your 2025 decluttering inspiration calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025 Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In today's episode, I ask Dr Chia-Ying Chou about the complex interplay between grief and hoarding. We'll explore how emotions like grief can trigger hoarding behaviour, the role an inner critic plays, and learn all about compassion-focused therapy – including why it’s so much easier to offer compassion than to receive it. The timing is perfect, coinciding with National Grief Awareness Week in the UK. Grief and Hoarding Discussion Chia-Ying Chou discusses the non-direct link between grief and hoarding based on clinical experience. Factors such as resistance to grieving and avoiding vulnerability exacerbate hoarding. Grief can trigger hoarding behaviour to maintain a sense of control and avoid confronting loss. Host shares personal experiences of how grief intensified their hoarding behaviour. Grief and Possessions People keep deceased loved ones' belongings as a way to preserve their existence. Chou mentions the ambiguous preservation of loved ones through items. Anxiety and resistance to facing grief make organising or discarding possessions difficult. Complex Emotions in Grief Host reflects on the unexpected emotions in grief, like anger or impatience. Therapeutic Strategies for Grief and Hoarding Chou compares addressing resistance to grief to preparing for a challenging hike. Emphasis on resourcing, preparing mentally, and gathering support. Suggestions for a "baby-step" approach to facing fears and emotions. Inner Critic and Grief Host discusses journey with their inner critic and finding new approaches to handle it. Chou highlights how internal criticism is often related to grief and missed opportunities. Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) Integration of Western psychotherapy and Buddhist philosophy for addressing psychological challenges. Difficulty in receiving or directing compassion towards oneself. Connections Between Hoarding, Trauma, and Grief Patterns of loss, either tangible or intangible, among those who hoard. Episode ties with National Grief Awareness Week in the UK. Cultivating Compassionate Companions Idea of cultivating an imaginary compassionate companion for emotional support. Emphasis on emotions being a part of persona, not the true self. Emotions and Grief Management Pacing yourself. Chou recommends creating space for emotions to surface naturally. Encouragement to welcome emotions as a creative process in internal space. Examine fears and take small steps to engage with feelings.…

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#168 Hoarding, healing, and the art of kintsugi with Dr Jan Eppingstall of Stuffology 48:14

26 weeks ago48:14

48:14

Get your 2025 decluttering inspiration calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025 Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-168-hoarding-healing-and-the-art-of-kintsugi-with-dr-jan-eppingstall-of-stuffology/ Today, I'm with Dr Jan Eppingstall, a Melbourne-based counsellor, about the fascinating art of kintsugi and how it connects with hoarding and trauma recovery. We explore how this Japanese tradition of mending broken pottery with gold has lessons for us about the therapeutic journey and the beauty in imperfection. We also discuss how these concepts apply to overcoming perfectionism in hoarding and highlight the empowering process of creating, destroying, and rebuilding. Introduction to Kintsugi and Dr. Jan Eppingstall Explanation of kintsugi as a Japanese art form of repairing objects with gold. Kintsugi and the connection to recovery from trauma. Kintsugi as a Metaphor for Healing Importance of acknowledging the process of healing without oversimplification. Reference to Amy Price's article about kintsugi symbolising care and time. Discussion of Tomas Navarro's book and the importance of action in healing. Psychological and Therapeutic Implications Metaphor in therapy for expressing complex emotions. Application of kintsugi philosophy in mental health contexts, including trauma recovery. Relation to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), acceptance, and resilience. The real-life application of acceptance and self-compassion. Creation, Destruction, and Rebuilding Create, destroy and recreate art as part of personal healing. Parallel with kintsugi in wabi sabi / finding beauty in imperfection. Personal Empowerment and Resilience Empowerment through courage and resilience using scars as a metaphor. Resonance with Leonard Cohen Idea of imperfection as a means for transformation. Contrasts with Modern Consumerism Kintsugi and wabi sabi's focus on the beauty of imperfection and impermanence. Reference to Beth Kempton's book on creating serene, beautiful spaces. Addressing Perfectionism and Hoarding Application of kintsugi principles to address perfectionism in hoarding. Exploration of creating, destroying, and rebuilding as a therapeutic exercise. "Wreck This Journal" to overcome artistic perfectionism.…

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#167 10 experiments to customise your dehoarding habits so they suit YOU 43:41

27 weeks ago43:41

43:41

Get your 2025 decluttering inspiration calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025 Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In this episode, I propose ten experiments to help customise your decluttering journey, focusing on individual preferences to uncover what strategies work best in your home. These experiments encourage a flexible approach to dehoarding. It's all about tailoring your methods to fit your style and your personality, ensuring that decluttering becomes a more intuitive and effective process. Approaching Tasks as Experiments Tasks viewed as experiments inspired by CBT Reduction of perfectionist pressure Emphasis on personal differences and no right or wrong answers Testing different time slots for tasks Effectiveness of beginning the day with decluttering "Swallowing the frog" concept Long-term goals vs. short-term goals for motivation Experimentation and Adjusting Over Time Periodic repetition of experiments to adapt to changes Use of structured time frames and spontaneous urges to declutter Experimenting with personal preferences for initiating action Options such as music, TV, silence, social interaction, or media consumption Use of podcast as motivational tool Upbeat music playlist Group accountability sessions via Zoom for shared motivation Productivity based on to-do list specificity Decluttering strategies: by space, type of item, or item within a space Handling Difficult Categories Approach to emotionally challenging items Tailoring strategy based on personal readiness Consistency in Dehoarding Short daily durations vs. longer weekly sessions Finding the best fit based on routine Time Constraints Setting strict vs. flexible schedules Combination of structured and spontaneous efforts Personalising Decluttering and Productivity Methods Focus on individual preferences and method effectiveness…

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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#166 "Just-in-time shopping": Overcome fear-driven purchases, save money and space, and spend mindfully 29:38

28 weeks ago29:38

29:38

Get your 2025 decluttering inspiration calendar http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025 Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In today's episode, I talk about the strategies I've been trying to address over-acquisition and manage my finances, from savings pots to practising 'just-in-time' shopping. I explain how these methods, alongside mindfully resisting impulse buys and more, are helping me reduce clutter. Personal Financial Management Dedicated accounts with savings pots for various expenses like glasses, car repairs, and gifts. Spending limits. Evaluating the necessity of purchases. Reflecting on past financial struggles. The tendency to overprepare due to fear of scarcity. The impact of hoarding on life, such as emotional pain from bereavements. The challenge of trusting that resources will be available when needed. Shopping Habits and Strategies Emphasising rationality in shopping. The "just in time" shopping approach to combat over-acquiring. Mindful shopping techniques Checking existing supplies before shopping. Using shopping lists with flexible categories. Resisting urge-driven purchases like discounts. Mindful Financial Practices Exploring alternative uses for money beyond impulse buys. Prioritising spending on quality experiences. Past Financial Hardship and Emotional Impact Past experiences of financial hardship leading to anxiety and hoarding. Reflecting on the emotional impact from periods like the COVID-19 pandemic. Personal Growth and Overcoming Beliefs Encouragement to try despite potential failures.…

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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#165 Distraction-free idea capture: Transforming chaotic thought streams into actionable to-do lists 36:13

29 weeks ago36:13

36:13

Get your 2025 decluttering calendar: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/2025 Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Avoiding the chaos of complex idea capture systems is vital for preventing distraction and overwhelm. Today, I'm sharing practical strategies for transitioning from idea capture to action, breaking down large tasks into manageable subtasks and exploring tools like Google Tasks and voice assistants for prioritisation and organisation. Plus, I reflect on my own long-term struggle with to-do lists and how to experiment with different approaches to find a system that suits your needs. Simplifying Idea Capture Avoid complex systems to prevent distraction and overwhelm. Focus on simple, streamlined methods for capturing ideas. Set dedicated idea capture times to minimise distractions. Organising Idea Capture Materials Ensure materials and tools are easily accessible. Utilise technology for effortless idea capture using voice assistants. Transitioning from Idea Capture to Action Prioritise tasks based on urgency, impact, or personal goals. Structure and prioritise tasks. Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable subtasks. Combining Digital and Non-Digital Methods Use written to-do lists to complement digital systems for immediate tasks. Essential Elements for an Effective System Thinker's Notebook's five elements: omnipresence, efficiency, organisation, security, and offline thinking. Exploring Digital and Non-Digital Tools Popular digital tools: Evernote, OneNote, ToodleDo, Todoist, Trello, Taiga.io, Google Calendar, Outlook Calendar, Google Tasks. Non-digital methods: scraps of paper, notebooks, preprinted planners, bullet journals, mind maps. Personalising the Capture Method Importance of selecting a method suited to personal preferences and technical comfort level. Experimentation with different approaches. Two-Step Strategy for Idea Capture Combine digital or portable capture methods with comprehensive home organisation tools. Mind Mapping for Subtasks Use mind maps to break down tasks, providing a visual representation. Realistic Time Management Decide on timings based on deadlines and personal flexibility. Visual Task Management Track progress and prioritise tasks using visual tools like checklists or kanban boards. Prioritisation and Breaking Down Tasks Organise tasks by priority for easier management. Divide large tasks into smaller parts for simplification. Timely Task Execution Be realistic about time required for tasks and accommodate flexibility. Psychological Boost from Completion Mark tasks as completed for a dopamine boost and visual progress tracking. Adapting Idea Capture Systems Experiment with various methods to find an effective system that suits personal needs and goals.…

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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

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#164 Digital hoarding and digital clutter with Dr Jan Eppingstall 47:35

30 weeks ago47:35

47:35

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ In this episode, I'm joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall, a counsellor with a PhD in hoarding, to discuss the phenomenon of digital hoarding, where people accumulate excessive digital items. We'll explore the emotional responses to losing digital content, the organisational and environmental implications of digital clutter, and strategies for managing our ever-growing digital lives. From the nostalgic pull of old photos to the overwhelming influx of emails, this conversation reveals the surprising similarities between physical and digital hoarding. Introduction to Digital Hoarding Definition of digital hoarding Comparison with physical hoarding, highlighting similar stress, anxiety, and attachment. Emotional Responses to Digital Loss Non-hoarders experiencing emotions like anger and anxiety over losing digital items. Technological Advancements and Digital Storage The proliferation of digital content creation, especially digital photos. Impact of technology on creating and storing digital content. Historical context of storage limitations versus current capabilities. Broader Implications of Digital Hoarding Extending beyond photos and videos to emails, subscriptions, and digital accounts. Cybersecurity risks and financial costs associated with digital hoarding. Reasons we retain digital content. Emotional Attachment and Digital Data Emotional ties to digital items like photos and documents. Reflecting identity and memory triggers in digital possessions. Digital Organisation Strategies Host's impeccably organised digital life contrasted with a cluttered home. Tiago Forte's PARA method for prioritising digital items. Inbox Zero and maintaining an organised email setup. Challenges of Digital Clutter Volume over efficiency: issues accessing necessary information despite organised files. Parallels between digital and physical hoarding behaviours. Digital Inefficiency and Environmental Impact Wasted time, reduced focus, and productivity issues due to digital clutter. Significant carbon footprint of data centres and environmental concerns. Strategies for Managing Digital Clutter Reducing digital intake by unsubscribing from unnecessary emails and content. Advice on stopping excessive bookmarking and managing browser tabs. Importance of setting up email filters to streamline email management. Creating physical keepsakes from special digital photos for meaningful interaction. Permission Slip Segment Discussion on evaluating difficult-to-discard items for sentimental or practical reasons.…

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