Poem: The hardest chapter of my life

Uncomfortably, Beautifully Human

There’s frost ❅ on the decking outside And despite the cold I find, inside, I feel warm I feel at peace

Open heart to receive And still... This has been easy the hardest chapter of my life Not knowing whether to turn left or right A fight between mind and heart Trying to build new foundations that will last From the debris of my past Versions of me that never had the space to breathe Because to feel free I needed to face the darkest parts of me Find a way to meet them with compassion Am I brave? How long will I have to wait for it to all make sense? "You can keep looking over the fence to see if the grass is greener Or you can notice you’ve already arrived What was once a dream of the mind Is now fully awakened inside" Because it was who I became on the ride With every long stride And small step Every time I leant more into the depths Found resilience through every test I came to feel a little more blessed A little more present Isn’t this what I truly wanted? Maybe it was never about the 'things' But the learnings my pursuit of them would bring Or, maybe, what is true Is that it’s both Where every note♩ adds to a song So did everything I went through teach me to belong So that when I received what my heart could see Through many waves of serendipity My heart would already be full Because I’d already answered my own call I’d given myself what I, needed first Learnt how to serve Nurse open wounds So that soon, what I’d experience in my life Would only be a reflection of what was first, inside.

If you’d like to connect more intimately with this poetry, you can read my book, 44, here.

If something sparked in you as you read, share it with me [e-mail] or in the comments below.

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Thank you for this photo by Annie Spratt which you can find on Unsplash

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