What Threatens Your Peace

Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women

Ep 8 | What Threatens Your Peace

Howdy and welcome to warrior divas real talk with real women. This is your host Angie Lehman row. And we are going to have a great show here in just a minute. So think about it today, tell me what you're up to get on our social media, tell me what you're up to what you're doing what you're motivated about, where you want to be six months from now, we want to hear from you. We want to connect with you. This shows not just about putting on a show and you listening to me all the time, we want to know what's going on in your world. I mean, this doesn't work without some given take people come on. So I also want to remind you to go to our divas impact calm and sign up for our unmasked conference, it's going to be October 11 and 12th. in Dallas, Texas, it's actually going to be in Grapevine, Texas, but everybody calls us the whole area Dallas, I don't understand that. I'm actually a Fort Worth type girl. But anyway, come on, join us in Grapevine, Texas, October 11 and 12th. And get ready to just have your socks rocked off. But today Today, I want to start off like I do every day and remind you that I am Angie Monroe, I am your girlfriend. And what we're going to talk about is we're going to talk about some tough stuff today. You know, what threatens your peace? Ah, yeah. here lately, I've heard a lot of people talking about anxiety, and stress and tension, and sleepless nights. And I just want to talk to you about what threatens your peace? What is it that you're going through right now that if this thing happened, you would not feel safe and secure?

You know, it's changed for me over the years, you know, a lot of people say, you know, a man needs a woman to love him. And, and, and treat him kindly and, and do all sorts of acts of service for him. And I'm talking about, you know, just being that support role. If a man's not feeling supported, then he doesn't feel loved, right? For women, most of the time, it's if they don't feel safe, they don't feel loved. Well, what is threatening your safety, your security? No, one of my first times I really paid attention and looked at this was right after the Columbine shootings. What was that 20 years ago now? And my youngest daughter was just starting elementary school that fall. And we were standing in the garage at my parent's house. And she just looked up at me and she had these big, tearful eyes. And she asked me, am I gonna be safe?

Talk about something that just crushes your soul, when you're preparing your children or your spouse or a loved one to go off somewhere. And their biggest concern is, am I going to be safe? You know, I sat in that garage that day. And I just had a conversation with her and explained to her what the teachers and the counselors and the principals and all in the even the school security guards, that their homes whole job was to make sure that they felt safe and that they were safe. And that mommy and daddy would get to them just as soon as they could. But what little comfort that gives a child when they see all the things happening in the world, as I'm recording this show this morning, there was another active shooter in the downtown area of Dallas this morning. And so how do people go to work? How do they go about their everyday stuff? and not have fear?

I hope some of you there listening to this already know the answer to this. But we'll share a little bit more about that a little bit.

Now we've talked about my marriage with my husband, Michael and the ebb and flow that we've had throughout the years. And it's not always been pretty. And you know, he's not always been kind and neither have I and we've always had friction, right? When we first got married, we would have the checking account and he would see money in the account. And he just spends on the debit card, not knowing that I had checks outstanding. Or he would go out drinking on Friday with his paycheck and come home with half of the paycheck and we needed all of it plus some to pay the bills that were Do you know, there was a lot of these things that really just ate away at my safety and my security. And what it did was it built up resentment, and it built up hate and that built up anger.

And it's still my piece. See, there was just one action that happened. But my reaction to it is what helps to steal my peace.

I remember the morning of 911

I remember exactly where I was what I was doing. I not only had my three children, my neighbor next door I had her son as well. I had just taken them to school. And I'm watching the plane fly into the towers. Our schools at that time had some major renovations going on. So the announcer system, the paging system, all that stuff was down. And I know when I went up to the school, there were droves of parents up there checking their kids out of school and I saw the look on the secretary space that day going you want your children so I said no. I want to leave my children here in the classrooms as long as I can. I want to preserve their innocence as long as I can. But what can I do to help because in that moment of terror and anger and frustration, I was not gonna let what happened robbed me of my peace. There would be plenty of time to process the emotions over the next few days, weeks years to come. But at that moment, I was choosing my peace over the anxiety that could come with the attack.

My mother was a government worker when the Oklahoma City bombing happened. Knowing that your mother's in a building in downtown Dallas, when that's happening in Oklahoma, that can get your nerves up a little bit. But then again, I was raised knowing where my peace comes from. Living in Texas where the weather is so unpredictable, it goes from sunny to tornadoes and in storms in matters of minutes. I have a cousin of my husband that does not come down to visit. Because he's afraid of tornadoes. There's actually tornadoes where he lives. He's just afraid of them here because there's so many that come. But see, again, I know where my peace comes from. I've had several family members that have been sick over the last little bit.

They were either short illnesses or month long illnesses they didn't they weren't year long illnesses, they were just a few months before they were gone.

Walking through the stages of grief with someone as they're letting go versus walking through the stages of grief after they're gone are two totally different things that impact you in totally different ways. Just a sudden, jolting shock of they're gone. can really set you on edge.

Doesn't mean that either one is more or less. They're both griefs. They're both ways to walk through it. But one of them makes you feel like you've been robbed of something while the other one makes you thankful that you had those moments that you had with them.

But in the middle of it, it's Where's your peace?

Micah 7:7 yes, I'm using a Bible verse here shoot me, says I wait and hope for my Lord. I know he sees me.

Wow.

You know, one of the things that I want to remind everybody of is sometimes the things are going on in our lives. Just think they're horrible. They're coming away and ripping away the fiber of what we knew was right and in true and, and functional. And telling us that Nope, you can't have that anymore. And now you're out here. And you're lost. And you're alone. And you don't know what is next. I am a veteran of we've talked about that before. I'm a Navy veteran.

And right now, the largest demographic of homeless people right now is female veterans. Can you imagine what it feels like to serve your country to be willing to go where you're told to go do what you're told to do and come back. And you get out and you have nothing? Absolutely nothing. Some of its mental health, some of its emotional health, some of its just a loss of purpose. And not knowing where to go and how to be Whoo hoo at all. They were called to be another friend that's going through some changes right now in her life and in diagnosis has just come up for her and, and she's not claiming the diagnosis as the narrative of her life. What she's claiming is, is that she needs help. And I love that, that she is finding safety and security and being who she is, but still seeking help.

She's finding out where her peace is.

Now granted, the challenges that she's dealing with right now the peace may be coming and going, depending on what emotional state she's dealing with, that she's seeking peace with every fiber of her being.

How many of us can really say that? How many of us can look at the things that are going on day to day today and going, I choose peace, I choose joy. I've got another friend who lost her sister to an abusive husband a year ago this week.

And as they enter this week long, additional mourning process of such a tragic loss that just devastated the whole family.

They are making conscious choices to choose joy, and to choose peace and to forgive. They are finding ways to overcome the things that are coming up against them. We all have them. There are things that come up against us each and every day that come to rob, kill and destroy whatever positive attitude we have.

So again, I ask what threatens your peace? See, I'm a solutions person.

So either believes that if we know what the problem is, then we can always find the solution. If you know what's threatening your peace, then we can find a way to help you find that peace, and be in tune with that peace and eliminate that threat.

Many of us don't wait till the threat happens to make our mind up is what we're going to do. A lot of us are planners.

So if something were to happen to a loved one of mine, I already know some of the steps that would be taken to help eliminate the threat to my peace. That doesn't mean that I won't still have emotional turmoil, I still won't have other things going on. But let's just let's get really depressive here for a second. Grave planning, end of life planning, right? You buy a burial plot, you pay for your funeral, you do all of that stuff.

Why do you do that? It's because the ones that you will eventually leave behind when you don't want to threaten their peace with your passing. You want to provide for them and encourage them and make sure that they are taken care of and that they don't have another bill hanging over their heads, right? Why do people put away for the college for their kids, because I don't want to get surprised when their kid turns 18 and go they want to go to college and you now have to fork up $180,000 there are things that we do to eliminate the threat to our peace, right? Some of that is setting boundaries. How many of you have people in your life that are not very peaceful at all, they're always yelling and screaming and cussing and throwing things and in their attitude

just stinks. Make just space around you a peaceful space. Make the places that you enter shift with the atmosphere when you enter them because you bring about a piece that they don't have. One of the people that I know that does this is phenomenal. She is a firecracker. She comes in she does all sorts of amazing things. And most people that engage with her unless they're her friend have no clue at what she walks through day by day. It is amazing to me how many people get a paper cut, just a paper cut. And they start screaming like the world is ending and they're dying. But yet I'm watching people walk through the trenches, bloody, maimed, and physically destroyed, instills screaming out peace, hope, love, and joy. I get tickled at the people that say they can't do this, or they can't do that. Because they've got it. They've got some sort of injury, say they sprained their ankle. I can't do this because I sprained my ankle. Okay, but what can you do? We're not talking about massive injuries, we're not talking about disabilities that are debilitating. But what I am saying is, a lot of the times, there are things
you can do that you can be responsible, don't give away your piece to your disability. I watch disabled people do some amazing, spectacular things in their community and for their community.

It's just a hiccup in the road.

Some of you might get a little irritated with this. Not all right. I'm speaking my mind on my show, from my perspective, to stir the pot with you a little bit today.

Because some of you are just being lazy. And you're complaining about you're not having peace, and you're being lazy. Because you're not willing to do the work to get the peace. I am so sick and tired of people coming to me and going, Well, I need you to do this for me. Why do I need to do it for you? I've got my own stuff going on. We've got the podcasts, we've got our blogs going on. We've got an online magazine, we've got a conference going on. Talking with women and men daily about different things with their businesses, helping my husband running a business, not to mention helping the family life at home, all of the things that are on my plate, why do I need to help you?

What is it that you can't do for yourself? Because here's my thing, I get people messaged me all the time, wanting me to help them, coach them for free. or help them brainstorm on these ideas here or there. And I don't mind doing that. And our groups are Facebook groups, we have groups you can be a part of, and you not only get the input from me, but you also get input from everybody in our group. And it's amazing, and it's wonderful and all that stuff.

But if you come to sit down at the table with me, and you have no thought, no plan, no idea of where you want to go or where you want to be, why do you want me to invest more in you than you're willing to invest in yourself? Can I get an amen? Hello? Yeah. I just said that. Do not come to the table, expecting someone else to invest more in you than you are willing to invest in yourself. Now, what does this have to do with peace? When you start investing in yourself into your mental your emotional your physical stability, and in growth, then you start to find ways to find peace at a higher level.

I am Uber busy right now, doesn't stop me from still taking on new clients, still having conversations with people. But the people that I do have that quote-unquote, freebie conversations with are people that I know we're already jumping through hoops to make things happen for themselves. A while back, I had a woman messaged me, and she said, it's great that you're selling this product. But why in the world? Do I have to pay for it? I can't afford that I can't afford this. I said well, I wouldn't expect you to afford the product that I provided right now. I would expect you to take part in the services and the products that we offer for free and get your mindset right so that you will see that this is a worthwhile investment for where you're needing to be. But you're not. I said I wouldn't recommend buying the product that I'm selling right now. Then she got all sorts of mad over that too. Why can't buy the product you have right now. I said because your mindset is not where it needs to be to receive the material that we're putting out. See, she had to break down where her piece was, she immediately went into offensive mode because I offered one thing on our site for a fee. But I had hundreds of hours of content that was free. She listened right past that saw the one that charged something and threw a fit.

have peace.

Peace comes when you look at something and you hear it and you know you need it. And you have no qualms and making the investment for yourself. It may not be easy. It may not come without sacrifice, but you know that you need to step forward? You know, I, I've had this conversation many times before. I've sat in a room with people. And I've wanted to invest in something to the moon and back. And quite honestly, I didn't have the bandwidth and the bank to pay for it. But I didn't stop there either. I went back I said, Listen, what can we do within this budget? This is the budget I do have? How can we move me forward until I can get to the place that we want to be next, start freeing me up now to where I need to be next. See, a lot of times we somebody throws a number out at us and we bought them we like we can't afford that we can't do this, push back, gain some of your traction back, figure out what you can afford counter off with that if they won't take that find
the next Joe that will.

But you are in charge of your peace, you're not missing out on something unless you find a way to make it happen. Now, the things that are taking place with divas impact this year, are not things that have just kind of been, oh, let's do this. These are things that have been thought of and planned on since 2011. These are things that we have been moving towards since that timeframe. So for me to sit here and go, just make it happen. I'm not saying to do it overnight. This isn't instant gratification. This is making sure you're doing the things today that puts you one step further in front of yourself than you were yesterday.

Just one step.

The old football coach at the high school my kids played for he had the terminology, we only need to win by one. Each day, all you need to win is by one footstep each day, get up put one foot in front of the other and be one step further than you were yesterday.

I guarantee you taking proactive steps for yourself will open you up to greater peace in your life than you have ever known or imagined. Now I'm going to tell you a little bit more about my friend, Dr. Michelle Bengston, she's our everyday divas this week. And the reason I'm talking about her today is that she is one of those women that every day gets up puts one foot in front of the other. This is a woman that is battling cancer, like no other it has ravaged her in so many ways. She has a radio show. She is a book author. She is a neuropsychologist. I had to write it down on my screen here because I knew I was gonna mess that up if I didn't. She is an author. She's a speaker. And she talks about overcoming adversity and finding hope in her book which is titled Hope Prevails. And let me just tell you, this woman is a dynamic firecracker. I have watched her speak she is full of grace, she is full of mercy. She has those rough days. She does. I mean, if you're going through cancer, you're gonna have rough days. But she has those rough days. But yet, she is still always pointing to where her peace comes from. She's not losing hope. She's not losing her peace. She's just in the battle. So this week, as you're going about, and looking at what's up at up ahead for you What's Next, I want you to start asking yourself what threatens your peace? And what can you do each day to overcome that threat? Now if you want to chat, shout out to us, you can always reach us at our inner circle for divas impact. It's a group page. Its divas impact inner circle groups. You can also contact us on our social media and on our website. But those are the places that you connect with us, communicate with us. And then if you're ever interested in coaching or training or any of that stuff, you can find that on the website.

But I want to challenge you, each and every one of you to stop looking at what you're not getting and focus on stepping towards what you're wanting and willing to work for and finding that inner peace. Again, this is Angie Monroe, your host and until next time, we'll talk to you

later bye bye