How to Get Out of a Toxic Shame Spiral

You Are Not A Frog

We all experience shame from time to time, but when it becomes toxic, we can end up in a shame spiral from which it's difficult to escape. When we’re called out on something about which we feel shameful, it can make us defensive. And so often, no-one can punish us as harshly as we punish ourselves.

In this quick dip episode, Rachel shares her strategy to break free from shame spirals and cultivate a healthier mindset; by sharing our shame, taking some perspective, and seeking support from others. She unpacks her SHAME model that was inspired by a recent spiral, which is a simple five-step framework for working through the sensations of shame and finding a way to be kinder to ourselves.

Shame doesn’t make us better people – it only makes us harder on ourselves and leads to us being defensive. So this episode offers a chance to break free of that spiral, remember that we’re human, and remind ourselves we’re doing our best.

Listen to this episode to

• Discover how shame can impact our internal mindset and contribute to burnout
• Learn about the complex nature of shame and how it shows up
• Explore strategies and techniques to break free from shame spirals and cultivate a healthier mindset

Episode highlights

• [00:02:09] What's on your pop bottle label?
• [00:03:14] When our actions clash with our values
• [00:07:30] What our ingrained stories tell us
• [00:13:20] Share your shame
• [00:14:35] Hang outwith useless friends
• [00:15:37] Awe
• [00:16:42] Multiple identities
• [00:19:17] Empathy and understanding

Resources

• THRIVE Weekly Planner
• Watch the video version on YouTube
• How Do You Say No When Someone Might Die? – Episode 193
• Why Can’t I Say No? – Episode 163
• How Perfectionism and Shame Lead to Stress and Burnout – 152 with Sandy Miles
• How to Avoid Becoming the Second Victim – Episode 92 with Dr Caraline Wright & Dr Lizzie Sweeting
• Tara Brach leads a Guided Meditation: The Practice of RAIN
• Download the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.

Enjoyed this episode?

Write a review and share this with your friends.

Connect with Rachel

Have any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:

• LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-Morris
• Twitter: @DrRachelMorris
• Email: [e-mail]

Find out more about our training

Mentioned in this episode:

The Shapes Toolkit Live Training
Add some down-to-earth, practical Frog wisdom to your next event.