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If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes

If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes

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Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LBā€” and our producer Jordoā€” try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Host and founder of VGBees, John Warren, is joined every week by cohost Niki Grayson and illustrious guests adjacent to video games and culture for candid, funny, and enlightening conversations about an art form that is both uniting and dividing us. Every week, The VGBees Podcast will explore trends and touchpoints you need to know in order to have the most well-rounded idea of what's going on in games. Explore vgbees.com after each episode for notes on each episode as well as written pieces ...
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Every Friday, join the Fanbyte Thinktank to cackle over internet obscurities, semantic debates, and really anything else that comes to mind. Hosted by LB Hunktears, Niki Grayson, and John Warren, this oneā€™s for the discerning listeners. Donā€™t say we didnā€™t warn you. Discord: https://fanbyte.casa/
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The staff of Game Informer chat it up each week bout the latest news, previews and reviews from the game industry. Each show will cover the weeks hot topics plus the games you're looking forward to or may not know about yet. Subscribe today!
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Every Sunday, Fanbyteā€™s John Warren brings you a weekly roundup of the biggest news headlines in video games and entertainment. Plus interviews with industry professionals from around the gaming world. Talk to us and fellow listeners on the Fanbyte Discord: https://fanbyte.casa/
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The Sunday Scroll

John Warren (Floppy Adult)

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Video games and internet culture are constantly shifting and changing, but twelve year industry vet John Warren can be your chilled out guide sorting through the mess so you can relax. Join him every two weeks as he chats with fascinating figures in and around these worlds while you take a morning walk, kick back with a cup of coffee, or lounge around with a furry friend in your lap.
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This week, Niki and John are joined by The Verge's Ash Parrish. On the agenda: - our favorite jazz musicians - which wines pair best with human aging - disgusting Aperol - Cody Rhodes' appalling chosen aesthetic OH ALSO video games! - Zenless Zone Zero - Supermoves - Xbox Game Pass tier changes - Steam Deck - 2K's rumored FIFA game - College Footbaā€¦
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John, Niki and LB go the extra mile this week by proving evolution, showcasing their incredible psychic powers, taking the time to look at and think about breasts while live on a podcast, exposing the Coors nuclear waste controversy, making the world-first announcement of a new Shrek film, and if you can believe it, somehow even more. Welcome to Ifā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, the crew attempts to highlight the best games of 2024 that have launched between January and July. This is not all-encompassing. Rather, it's more a conversation about this year's early standouts and other releases we plan to visit before our official Game of the Year discussions in December. Beforeā€¦
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This week, John's riding solo due to holiday scheduling apocalypses. Never fear! He's here to chat about the best in games this week, including: - The new Switch Online slate (it's weird) - Fragpunk's closed alpha - M. Bison is live in Street Fighter 6 - The Land Beneath Us puts an interesting spin on roguelites ALSO, we answer questions directly fā€¦
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Remember, remember the 5th of Julember ... (In this episode LB, Niki and John [all best friends] discuss where "it" goes "after butthole," the Ben Shapiro that escaped containment, the rules of being a ghost, Reba, the legitimacy of antibiotic warnings, the Cisco Groove, and reluctantly, somehow even more.) Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your ā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, former GI editor and current writer for The Indie Informer John Carson drops by to share his impressions of Final Fantasy XIV's newly released Dawntrail expansion. We're also joined by our wonderful podcast editor Matt Storm to give their thoughts on Alan Wake 2's Night Springs DLC, Paper Mario: Theā€¦
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John and Niki are back at it again with all the news and analysis in games you need to know. This time, they're joined by Imran Khan, who is totally normal when it comes to heating up leftovers! Anyway! The crew covered a lot of ground this week including: Guy "Dr. Disrespect" Beahm's overdue ouster from the public consciousness in the wake of the ā€¦
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LB, Niki and John crest the final apex of Gimmick Month, playing a brand-new game of Niki's design, pushing friendships to the limit and making us rethink everything we know about the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics. Other topics of discussion include (but are not limited to) Christian for-profit universities, Hootie & the Blowfish, sex ramps, tinned ā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, the crew discusses our recent trip to Bioware for our Dragon Age: The Veilguard cover story, our Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree review, PS5-bound multiplayer shooter, Concord, a new battle royale from former League of Legends developers, atmospheric horror title Still Wakes the Deep, Dustborn, Luā€¦
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John and Niki take a deep dive into a very strong Nintendo Direct, featuring discussion of: The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom Mario & Luigi: Brothership Metroid Prime 4: Beyond Marvel vs. Capcom Fighting Collection: Arcade Classics The New Denpa Men Later, they're joined by writer, author, and budding miniature painting YouTuber Merritt K to chā€¦
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Gimmick Month continues with The Second Annual White Off, where we see which of our four contestants is the whitest. Once that's settled (the results will SHOCK YOU), Niki, LB and John also discuss serving cunt in the chicken line, whether curling "has balls," hanging out with Jenny Nicholson, whether you can "get one out of a dead guy," John's recā€¦
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This week on The Game Informer Show, we share our spoiler-free impressions of Elden Ring's DLC, Shadow of the Erdtree. We gave the expansion a 9.75 in our review. We also dive into Nintendo's impressive Summer Direct showcase and chat about the first mainline Zelda game where Zelda is the protagonist, Metroid Prime 4: Beyond, Mario & Luigi: Brotherā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, our boots-on-the-ground crew returns from Los Angeles to discuss their favorite games from Summer Game Fest, Ubisoft Forward, the Xbox Games Showcase, and orbiting events. Watch the Video Version: Follow us on social media: Alex Van Aken (@itsVanAken), Brian Shea (@BrianPShea), Charles Harte (@Chuckā€¦
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Niki and John are joined this week by Game Informer associate editor and MinnMax contributor Charles Harte. All three were all in Los Angeles to cover Summer Game Fest 2024 and came away feeling mostly energized by what they saw and played. Covered in this episode: - LEGO Horizon Adventures - Wanderstop - Power Rangers: Rita's Rewind - Skate - Fablā€¦
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Gimmick month continues with our first-annual Master Chief Beach Week, the replacement holiday full of sand, sun and fun! Or that's what the copy says anyway, in practice it's mostly talk about the various ways that white people ruin the beach without even enjoying it themselves, in addition to various diversions concerning bumper stickers, scentedā€¦
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On the eve of SGF, John posted up in his downtown Los Angeles hotel room to talk to himself for roughly 40 minutes. Niki's busy getting ready for Giant Bomb's extremely busy weekend and John's trying to get a website launched, so please enjoy this more low-key second episode before we go deep on everything going on with SGF. Topics covered: Dragon ā€¦
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John, Niki and LB are all in the same place! Wowie zowie! That means an in-person recording, which also means the audio is a little roomier than usual, but the vibes are still just like you like 'em! Topics of discussion for this week include (but are not limited to) the world of dreams, emotionally insensitive burlesque performers, Dan Ryckert's uā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, returning guest Eric Van Allen joins us to discuss playing Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree for three hours, our predictions for this weekend's Summer Game Fest, and several new non-AAA games worth playing: Hauntii, Wild Bastards, and Nine Sols. Watch The Video Version: Follow us on social media: Aā€¦
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John, Niki and LB ascend the Gender Tower for an episode that's going to be just as much of a surprise for you as it is for me, because I haven't heard it yet! Also featuring a surprise visit from Former Chief Medical Advisor to the President of United States Anthony Fauci. Oh no! Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigā€¦
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John & Niki are officially back in the saddle talking what it means to be back working in games media after a hiatus! TL;DR, they're both excited to be doing this again together. This week, our hosts are eaten up with what makes a game "finished" in 2024 and does it even matter? Hades 2 is certainly big for an Early Access game, but how does it evoā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, we played the "build your own Zelda" dungeon maker Quest Master, dived into Fortnite's new season of content (including Fallout), and revisited this year's remake of Mario vs. Donkey Kong. We also chatted about our love of Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga and reminisced about the 2015 Mad Max game, kicking oā€¦
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Teetering on the edge of oblivion, four friends (three regular and one frog) embark on a sacred journey of personal discovery. During their travels, the group discusses many topics of importance, including why Jon Bon Jovi cheated on his wife, what the white lady from TikTok is up to these days, the various slogans of Outback Steakhouse, which birdā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, we unpack our reviews of Senua's Saga: Hellblade II and the "more than a remaster but not quite a remake" of Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. We also share our first foray into the hit early access city-builder, Manor Lords, and give our impressions of exciting new indies such as Hauntii, Duck Dā€¦
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It's John. It's Niki. It's LB. It's all three of them, and they're here, being as smart and drunk as ever, talking about the things YOU care about most, including a brand-new legal system for punishments, the hairy teeter, the history of Atlantis, the long-awaited return of Scam Text Theater, notes for John's acting skills, tall buildings, and someā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, we discuss several of the best indie games you might've missed amidst this month's releases. Specifically, we discuss Animal Well's mysteries, revisiting Hades I, Lorelai and the Laser Eyes, Paper Trail, With My Past, Indika, and Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Watch The Video Version: Follow us on ā€¦
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In what is perhaps our most cracked episode to date, LB, Niki and John struggle to overcome a well of extreme negative energy by playing jenga, inventing new uses for numbers stations, selling phone numbers for more ketamine, re-learning Flonase, answering a telemarketer call live on the podcast, and against all odds, somehow even more. Welcome to ā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, we discuss our Hades II cover story trip to Supergiant Games in San Francisco and Xbox shutting down four game studios, including Prey, Dishonored, and Redfall developer Arkane Austin, alongside Tango Gameworks, the team behind The Evil Within series and last year's critically-acclaimed Hi-Fi Rush. ā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, special guest Niki Grayson (Giant Bomb, If You're Driving Close Your Eyes) joins Alex and Charles to discuss the wild mix of intellectual property featured in Funko Fusion, the best LEGO games, our time playing the Hades II Technical Test, and Game Informer's Tales of Kenzara: Zau review. Lastly, weā€¦
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With LB on a Hero's Journey through the bowels of Hell, John and Niki once again conscript Producer Jordan into the triumvirate of intellect that is If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes. Topics of discussion for this meeting include (but are not limited to) the contents of John's most recent stress dream, carbon monoxide poisoning, ape films, photos ā€¦
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LB, Niki and John, having achieved unparalleled success as super-famous TikTok influencers, return to their humble podcasting roots for another round of important discussions, including (but not limited to) how much of acting is just demon possession, that Drew Carey tweet, white people music, discovering the source of 95% of the stress in LB's lifā€¦
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This week on The Game Informer Show podcast, it's all about reviews. We had three big reviews drop this week (on the same day [around the same time]), as well as a TV show review. Join host Kyle Hilliard as Matt Miller discusses Stellar Blade, Wesley LeBlanc chats about Another Crab's Treasure, and Brian Shea tells us what he thinks of the Knucklesā€¦
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With John trapped in the 1990s, producer Jordan joins Niki and LB for the typical weekly slate of activities, which includes inventing new kinds of gambling, coming up with a new big titty anime lady-based form of financial investment, peeing into the little cup, Niki's new friend Juliette, and somehow ... even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, Cā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, the crew looks ahead at the current slate of publisher showcases happening around Summer Game Fest and subsequent announcements we'd like to see. We chat about Amazon's Fallout show, rewatching the original X-Men animated series, and A24's Civil War before remembering this is a video game podcast. Aā€¦
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With Jordan back on the sticks, LB, John and Niki return to their regular work of discussing the most pressing issues facing today's Sleepy Americans, including the existential pain of being in the audience for bad comedy, the dire comments on our good TikToks, heroin as a venture investment, the good ol' days of file sharing, the best grass for whā€¦
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On this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, the crew discusses our recent trip to Sweden for our Star Wars Outlaws cover story, Game Informer's review of Amazon's Fallout show, and our hands-on impressions of The Rogue: Prince of Persia, a new roguelike from Dead Cells developer Evil Empire. Before diving into listener questions, Marcus and Aā€¦
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With Jordo away at a sensual conference for banjo frogs, the gang are actually pretty well-behaved. We talk about water bottles, the very worst songs we know, cereal, gifts for kids, and probably even more. I don't remember. Jordo usually writes these and knows what we talked about in the episode. Frankly I'm not sure. It's probably funny though. Hā€¦
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On this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, the crew discusses our time playing the public demo of Stellar Blade, the character action game formerly known as Project Eve. We drill into Pepper Grinder, the latest title from Devolver Digital, and then discuss a rad town-building sandbox called Summerhouse. After highlighting Stunt Paradise, a sā€¦
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With Niki trapped in the labyrinthine tunnels beneath the Boston Convention and Exhibition Center, emergency reserve friend merritt k joins LB and John to discuss websites about eating metal, Bigfoot's dick, an interesting car LB spotted and its resulting bevy of secrets, who we would impersonate if we were to impersonate a celebrity, the secret toā€¦
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It's a big milestone this week as we're celebrating 700 episodes of The Game Informer Show! Since Episode 1 aired all the way back in 2009, we've recorded and produced hundreds of episodes and we couldn't have done it without your support, which is why this week's edition is all about you, our wonderful listeners! Join host Marcus Stewart along witā€¦
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LB, Niki and John open their ongoing notes document and attack this week's agenda, which includes John's new screenplay idea, a new crops-based gambling venture, solving Bruno Mars' gambling debt situation, finding new tax loopholes, addressing the issue of how many years there are, LB's dog's secret Facetime calls to John, a really unfortunate hamā€¦
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On this weekā€™s episode of The Game Informer Show, weā€™re joined by special guest Imran Khan to unpack his review of Rise of the Ronin. Friend of the show Jesse Vitelli also drops by to break down his Dragonā€™s Dogma 2 review. Kyle Hilliard shares his final thoughts on Princess Peach Showtime and gives his hands-on thoughts on the upcoming Hyper Lightā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, the crew revisits PokĆ©mon X & Y ahead of PokĆ©mon Legends: Z-A and tries to get into truck games via Expeditions: A Mudrunner Game. We also discuss Fortnite's Myths & Mortals season, Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden, Balatro, and Llamasoft: The Jeff Minter Story. Thanks for listening and watching! Watchā€¦
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John, LB and Niki take a trip down memory lane, reminiscing over what it was like to live in the era of "the TV is on," in addition to nuanced discussions of softcore pornography; John's dog's ballsack; sending butthole pics to Matt; if Starbucks had a conversation pit; soaking; the return of MAUL WATCH; Niki's Tiktok dream; and darlin', somehow evā€¦
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The crying sky of Los Angeles, which cannot be consoled, will not prevent LB, Niki and John from discussing the various ongoing perils surrounding one of history's greatest sports (video games), in addition to Niki's mounting CPAP debt; bog standard cheating on your wife stuff; getting AMPED; lesbians!!!; if bus is car; more quality products from tā€¦
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This week on The Game Informer Show podcast, host Marcus Stewart is joined by Kyle Hilliard, Charles Harte, and former Game Informer editor/current narrative designer at Big Blue Sky Games, Suriel Vazquez to talk about a smattering of video games, new and old. First up, we dive deep into our most recent cover story for No Rest for the Wicked, talk ā€¦
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Niki and LB help an extremely sleepy John overcome his post-flight fatigue by discussing the mysterious woman he saw at the airport; the food in New Orleans; Niki's new best friend Kelly šŸ¤; LB getting they German passport; if Scandal was made for $10; using Cameo to ask questions questions of the people reading messages on Cameo; and if you can belā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, returning guest Eric Van Allen (Destructoid, Axe of the Blood God) joins us to discuss our Balatro review, spoiler-free thoughts about the length of Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, the early hours of Penny's Big Breakaway, and finally, how the combat system in Vanillaware's Unicorn Overlord mimics Final ā€¦
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LB, Niki and John solve the mystery of "what's True Detective," while also tackling a number of simultaneous ongoing cases, including that Britney Spears video where she dies and turns into a baby; LB's great sandwich-based TV show idea; if you can or cannot get pastrami "everywhere;" whether it's easier to get a pumpkin or a tuna; the #1 fragranceā€¦
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In this week's episode of The Game Informer Show, the crew breaks down what has been a busy few days in the video game industry. We dive into our Final Fantasy VII Rebirth review, recap the Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree release date trailer, and share highlights from another Nintendo Direct. Additionally, we discuss our time playing Princess Peā€¦
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LB, John and Niki carve time from their busy schedules to tackle a handful of new issues facing America's Sleepiest Americansā„¢, including hummingbird tongues, all the stuff they cut from the Bible, what happens to us after we die, Creed's 2001 Thanksgiving Day NFL Halftime Show, a Pokemon lawsuit, lying about limes, picking your daytime television ā€¦
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