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We often hear so much about the struggles of the LGBTQ+ community. But on this show, we talk about all of the awesomeness within queer relationships! We're here to de-center the cis, hetero, monogamous relationship escalator- and find out what's working.
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Hearts & Other Sex Parts is a podcast hosted out of Portland, Oregon by Keely C. Helmick, Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) specializing in relationship counseling, sexuality and gender and Stella Harris, sex coach, author and sex educator. Both of the hosts identify as queer, cis-women, and will dedicate themselves to ensuring that the podcast is inclusive and a safer space for all members of the LGBTQ community, people of color, all genders and gender non-conforming individuals, differ ...
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Queering Sex: Opening Up About Our Sexual Desires
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Talking about sex in our own relationships can be difficult and uncomfortable—even for a queer sex therapist with a lot of practice. It’s vulnerable to talk to partners about our desires and the changes we feel around sex. That’s why we’re discussing how to talk to both new and long-term partners about our sexual desires. You’ll hear— (09:51) The c…
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Navigating Polyamorous Relationships in Smaller Communities
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In small communities, whether that’s a small city or simply being queer and polyamorous, exes and old connections often overlap. We're discussing how to navigate these interactions and collaborate with our partners to establish agreements or guidelines for engaging with others in our social circles. We'll explore topics such as control, comfort and…
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Dating with Mixed Experience Levels in Non-Monogamy
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Are you navigating non-monogamy as a newbie, feeling intimidated by those with more experience who have read all the books or had lots of partners? Or maybe you're the one with the experience, rolling your eyes at the fresh faces? We’re exploring the nuances of different experience levels in the context of non-monogamy because experience doesn't gu…
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How do we engage with the world around us and continue some form of activism or social justice while also finding moments of joy? We’re exploring this question to bring some optimism and mindfulness when it feels like the world is fire. You’ll hear (5:56) Finding joy in challenging times (8:37) Balancing activism with moments of joy and hope. (13:5…
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Differentiation of self is like learning how to be your own person while still being part of a group, or a relationship. We’re unpacking this fancy psychological term by Bowen and applying it to dating to help you be connected with your own emotions while also being present for others. You’ll hear— (15:19) What “differentiation of self” is and why …
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Managing Change and Keeping Ourselves Regulated
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38:45
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How do we stay calm and adaptable in the face of life's ups and downs, especially in our relationships? We’ve talked before about regulating your nervous system, but after you’ve taken those first steps, let’s shift the conversation to building flexibility and adaptability. You’ll hear— (12:46) Finding reliability and stability during times of unex…
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From Married Friends to Roommates & Lovers
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44:45
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Raise your hand if you’ve ever had your queer awakening to your friend moonwalking in the office, the same friend that also officiated your wedding to another man. Anyone? Well luckily, we found that exact couple, Caroline and Amy Bouvin, and they’re here to tell you their unconventional but very queer love story. You’ll hear– (02:54) How Amy and C…
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Rethinking Valentine’s Day & Leading With Love
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It’s easy to dismiss Valentine's Day as this commericialized holiday full of red roses, hallmark cards, and cupid’s arrows. The real meaning of love gets buried under all the marketing hype. That's why we're all about redefining the holiday, making it more about genuine love and connection, as we like to put it, leading with love as we move through…
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Everyone feels stressed and anxious from time to time, but high stress leaves an impact on your body, particularly your nervous system. Join us for an overview on understanding how to calm our nervous system and why its important for your relationship health. You’ll hear (15:24) The nuances of anxiety, dysregulation, and sensations in the body (18:…
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Ah, New Relationship Energy (NRE)–that magical, butterflies-in-your-stomach phase at the start of a new relationship, where everything feels exciting and your new person seems absolutely perfect. Maybe you're in this phase–love it or hate it–or maybe you're on the outside watching someone else experience this rush. Whichever side you’re on, we’re d…
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What to Leave Behind & Bring Into the New Year
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We love the energy of the New Year, especially as a time for embracing new intentions and releasing old patterns. Today, we’re sharing how we can slow down to evaluate relationships, trust our intuition over societal expectations, and use the winter season for reflection and leaving behind what no longer serves us. You’ll hear– (11:19) Slowing down…
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End of Year Reflections & Relationship Check Ins
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In this end-of-year episode, we're taking a moment to celebrate the past two years of this podcast. It's hard to believe, but we're already at the midpoint of our current season and heading into a well-deserved mid-season break. As we wrap up another year, we're excited to dive into applying these end-of-year reflections to the realm of relationshi…
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Let’s talk about relationship counseling! We've received questions from listeners about when it's time to think about couples counseling and how to make the most out of it. So, we’re exploring the nuances of couples therapy, its challenges, and its impact on addressing relationship issues. You’ll hear Why you might seek support during transitional …
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Performative Equity in Non-Monogamous Relationships
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In relationships where multiple partners are involved, we may make gestures to promote fairness and balance. But, is true fairness achievable when certain hierarchies naturally exist in non-monogamous dynamics? We’re discussing how to navigate these inherent imbalances. You’ll hear How layers of hierarchies subtly exist within polyamorous relations…
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Slowing down in your relationships gives you the opportunity to make really intentional choices, with who you're connecting, how you're connecting, and what choices you're making especially during a time of pressure. In this episode, we’re exploring the dynamics of pacing and intentionality. You’ll hear The importance of prioritizing self-care duri…
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Relationship Boredom and Spicing Up Connections
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Are you feeling bored and wanting more from the relationship(s) you’re in? The thrill of the chase fades, routines set in, and suddenly, things feel a bit predictable? In this episode, you’ll learn ways to add that zest back into your relationships – and trust us, it's not just about spicing things up in the bedroom. You’ll hear Why relationships d…
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Renegotiating Agreements in Non-monogamous Relationships
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From defining relationship dynamics to navigating multiple connections, agreements ensure that everyone's values and desires are respected and honored. We’re joined again by Heather Simpson to talk about polyamory, agreements, and communication. You’ll hear about The importance of check-ins and agreements in non-monogamous relationships Having open…
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Staying For The Wrong Reasons: Long-term Relationship Dynamics
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Relationships should be about developing connections, not just seeking stability. In this episode, we’re exploring the idea of being in a long-term relationship for healthy reasons, rather than relying on the other person for stability or other unfruitful reasons. You’ll learn How to know when you’re at the place where you’re ready to leave Why it’…
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Polyamory, Platonic Relationships & Queer Fashion
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Join us for a laid back conversation with fellow queer therapist, Heather Simpson as we delve into the world of queer polyamory, platonic relationships, and modern dating. You’ll hear about Fashion as a tool for queer self-expression and dopamine dressing Decentering romantic relationships and couples privilege Love is blind and polyamory in dating…
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Looking for signs of a healthy and thriving relationship? We’re diving into recognizing green flags in your connections–from calmness and effective communication to conflict management and healthy boundaries. Green flags are something that could be very personal to you, and we’re curious to know what you identify as a healthy sign, so write to us a…
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Repair and Accountability: Navigating Cancel Culture and Rebuilding Relationships
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51:22
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When you recognize that you’ve been harmed by a partner or caused harm, and you would like to move forward and reconnect, what does that actually look like? In this episode, we’re discussing repair and accountability, in the context of cancel culture and how what is going on in the bigger social sphere affects our relationships and us individually.…
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Overcoming Weaponized Therapy Jargon in Relationships
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Maybe you’ve heard terms such as "narcissist", "gaslighting", and "toxic" in your own relationship, or when scrolling social media. These terms are overused and even weaponized leading to a breakdown in communication which is why we’re exploring the misuse of therapy jargon, differentiating between casual use and actual diagnostic criteria. You’ll …
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Navigating Past Trauma to Build Healthier Queer Relationships
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Being a queer person in today’s world is traumatic–shaping us and our relationships in complex ways. We discuss how to address these traumas and build stronger relationships with Dr. Jennifer Towns, a trauma therapist and author of a book on trauma and healing. You’ll hear One tool to keep growth alive in long-term relationships How not addressing …
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Deepening and Sustaining Queer Relationships: Season 4 Preview
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So you’ve learned how to meet people and start relationships, but like, now what? In this Season 4 kickoff, you’ll get a sneak peak at our focus this season of deepening and maintaining your relationships. You’ll hear How Keely has found themself in a relationship anarchy model Two theories on why it’s difficult to sustain queer relationships over …
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Community Compersion: The Power of Shared Joy At Pride
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41:51
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Are you planning on attending a pride event this year? In this episode, we’re diving into how to navigate pride differently this year and what community compersion looks like. We’re sharing why communication with your partner(s) is important in preparation for pride, how to set expectations for your pride experience, and three ways you can be a bet…
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